Tupac Shakur Jokes
Virtuanna
Wasn't that long ago, when Mother Theresa was lying on what we
thought was her deathbed, and all the sick fucks were coming up
with MT jokes...she hadn't even croaked yet!
Now St. Darwin takes out ol' Tupac, albeit a bit too late to stop
the spread of his worthless genes, I am sure, and nary a joke to
be found on alt.tasteless.jokes.
Something be a bit askew here.
Here's a few; in hopes the sick fucks will post plenty more.
Did you hear how frustrated Tupac was? He had tried the crack of
LaTwanda, the crack of Nakia, the crack of Leroy, the crack of
Darnell, but that bitch Dawn come out too late for him to try
the Crack of Dawn.
What did Tupac die of? Lead poisoning.
Did you hear they're recording a country song in his honor? It goes,
"git a lung, little boogie"...
What's the difference between Elvis' death and Tupac's death?
Who's Tupac?
What's the other difference between Tupac's death and Elvis'?
Elvis died with his crack on the crapper, Tupac died with his
crack in the rapper.
Tupac stood at the Gates of Hell, waiting his turn. An ancient
arch-gargoyle was methodically processing each new inductee. It
seemed it was taking an awfully long time, and Tupac, used to
having his groupies and assorted thugs at his beck and call, was
becoming impatient. Storming to the front of the line, he brushed
aside the lawyer being read the list of his lifetime sins and being
fitted for shackles and chains. "Don't you know who I be?" he demanded
of the stoic arch-gargoyle. "You'll get your turn," the gargoyle
hissed, "we don't care who you are; the Devil gets his in his own time."
Turns out that the Devil happened to be Electronically Monitoring the
gargoyle at that moment, as the gargoyle had been a Telephone Company
Operator at one time; his sentence was an eternity of being
Electronically Monitored randomly. Using the pronoun "they" instead
of "we" would result in remotely delivered electric shocks to the
gargoyle's soft parts; other transgressions incurred similarly
appropriate punishment. Tupac screamed, in his best gangsta voice,
"I gots *fans* waitin', muthuhfuckuh!" The lawyer grumbled, "Yeah,
and your own air conditioner and an ice cream cone, you do." Out comes
the Devil from his cubicle, lurching through the throngs of the
wretched. He appears at the Gates of Hell, takes a look-see at the
homeboy standing as bad and cocky as he could be with a lung out and
enough lead to poison Nigeria in him. "Well, well, Mr. Shakur, I do
apologize for the inconvenience. Do step this way. It's only fitting
that a man who has sent me as much business as you have, gets nothing
but the best the Devil has to offer." He led Tupac through the steaming
beds of hot coals, over the stream of hot flaming lava, and across
the frozen howling glacier. An anteroom appeared out of nowhere; and
in it was set up the largest theatre-like apparition Tupac had ever
seen. None of his homeys had ever stole a TV that big, he thought. With
a steely glance from the Man of Retribution, an image began to appear,
take shape, and move; it was as if it were real, right there with him.
A demon appeared from the shadows, and lowered Tupac onto a cold steel
spike, and deftly packed more dry ice around the spike to further
lower the temperature. His arms and legs shackled, his ass split apart,
Tupac thought it wouldn't be too bad; after all, he'd been in prison
before, and wasn't that the biggest baddest TV set he was going to
watch? The Devil stepped back to better view his subject, and the little
demon fiddled with some invisible controls. Suddenly, Tupac's punishment
was before him...he had a 3-D, Stereo, QuickCam view, for eternity, of
the Choir in Heaven, and the featured players for the ten thousand years
were going to be...................Hank Williams, Sr., and Patsy Cline.
Virtuanna ;)
Anthony Scialdone
Virtuanna <cir...@shore.intercom.net> wrote:
>Wasn't that long ago, when Mother Theresa was lying on what we
>thought was her deathbed, and all the sick fucks were coming up
>with MT jokes...she hadn't even croaked yet!
>Now St. Darwin takes out ol' Tupac, albeit a bit too late to stop
>the spread of his worthless genes, I am sure, and nary a joke to
>be found on alt.tasteless.jokes.
>Something be a bit askew here.
>Here's a few; in hopes the sick fucks will post plenty more.
One of my friends pointed out that Tupak spelled backwards is KAPUT.
Or is it CAPUT. I dunno... there's a joke in there somewhere.
And then another friend said that he bets all the other rappers are
mourning by wearing their pants at half mast! Now THAT is funny. >:)
Nancy & Dean
Virtuanna wrote:
>
> Wasn't that long ago, when Mother Theresa was lying on what we
> thought was her deathbed, and all the sick fucks were coming up
> with MT jokes...she hadn't even croaked yet!
>
> Now St. Darwin takes out ol' Tupac, albeit a bit too late to stop
> the spread of his worthless genes, I am sure, and nary a joke to
> be found on alt.tasteless.jokes.
>
> Something be a bit askew here.
>
> Here's a few; in hopes the sick fucks will post plenty more.
>
> LaTwanda, the crack of Nakia, the crack of Leroy, the crack of
> Darnell, but that bitch Dawn come out too late for him to try
> the Crack of Dawn.
>
> What did Tupac die of? Lead poisoning.
>
> Did you hear they're recording a country song in his honor? It goes,
> "git a lung, little boogie"...
>
> What's the difference between Elvis' death and Tupac's death?
> Who's Tupac?
>
> What's the other difference between Tupac's death and Elvis'?
> Elvis died with his crack on the crapper, Tupac died with his
> crack in the rapper.
>
> Virtuanna ;)
--
verbal joke-
what is tupac backwards?
"ka-poot"
e-ya later,
Nancy
'''
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edward festor
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> Hey Anthony, I hear that in his honor they will rename the Vulcan on Star
Trek Voyager after him..you know, Tuvok Shakur??? ;)