40 Nigger Jokes - YOUNGIE!
John Young
A. Coz he doesn't know he's black!
2. Q. What does it say on the inside of a niggers lip?
A. Inflate to 30 pounds!
3. Q. Why don't niggers drive convertables?
A. Coz there lips would flap them to death!
4. Q. Why do nigger smell?
A. So the blind can hate them as well!
5. Q. Why do niggers wear large brimmed hat?
A. To stop the pigeons shitting on their bottom lips!
6. Q. What do you call a nigger with a bike?
A. A thief!
7. Q. What do you say to a nigger with a job?
A. Cheeseburger and chips please!
8. Q. Why do niggers drive cars with small stearing wheels?
A. So they can drive with handcuffs on!
9. Q. What does a nigger use a brick for?
A. Down payment on a T.V.!
10. Q. Why do niggers wear platformed shoes?
A. To stop their knuckles dragging on the ground!
11. Q. How do you stop a nigger jumping on your bed?
A. Velcro on the ceiling!
12. Q. What do you throw a drowning nigger?
A. His wife and kids!
13. Q. What do you throw a drowning nigger?
A. An anvil!
14. Q. What's the difference between a nigger and a bicycle?
A. A bicycle doesn't sing old man river when it's chained up!
15. Q. Why have nigger got big nostrils, big lips, curly hair and smell?
A. Because they deserve it!
16. Q. What do you call a guy surrounded by 5 niggers?
A. Coach!
17. Q. What do you call a nigger in a suit?
A. The accused!
18. Q. What do you call a guy surrounded by 100 niggers?
A. Warden!
19. Q. What do you get if you cross a pig and a nigger?
A. Nothing because pigs are fussy who they fuck now days!
20. Q. What do you get if you cross a nigger with an octupus?
A. Something that doesn't look good but it can sure pick cotton!
21. Q. What do you get if you cross a nigger and a mexican?
A. A car thief that's too lazy to steal!
22. Q. How do you get a nigger pregnant?
A. Come in some shit and let the flies do the rest!
23. Q. What does a nigger eat for breakfast?
A. Coon flakes and Wogurt!
24. Q. Why can't niggers cllimb mountains?
A. Coz their lips burst above 5000 feet!
25. Q. What do you call a pickup going over a cliff with three niggers
in it?
A. A waste, you could fit four niggers in a pick up!
26. Q. What do you get if you cross a smurf and a nigger?
A. A smigger!
27. Q. What do you call a nigger with a stutter?
A. A cacoon!
28. Q. A fat nigger and a small nigger jump of a building, who hits the
gound first?
A. Who gives a fuck!
29. Q. What do you call 200 niggers burried to their foreheads?
A. Afro turf!
30. Q. Why did god give niggers rythm?
A. Coz he fucked up their lips, nostrils and hair!
31. Nigger Son to nigger dad, "Hey dad, why have you got your sunglasses
on at night?".
"There not my sunglasses they're my nostrils son".
32. Q. What's colorless and lies in the gutter?
A. A nigger with the shit kicked out of him!
33. Q. What's black and slides down your windows at dawn?
A. Coondensation.
34. Q. Have you heard about the new pack of Rodney King playing cards?
A. 51 clubs and one spade!
35. Q. What's got an I.Q. of 250.
A. Any nigger country!
36. Q. Do you know how to save a drowning nigger?
A. No? That's great!
37. Q. Why are niggers good at dancing?
A. Coz Dis goes here, dis goes there! (Disco's for you slow niggers!)
38. Q. What's the black stuff between elephants toes?
A. Slow niggers!
39. Q. What do you get if you cross a nigger with a pakistani!
A. A car thief that can't drive!
40. How about the half Jew and half nigger, his friend offered to
sell him his bike and he wasn't sure whether to knock him down on
the price or steal it!
--
****************************************************************
* you...@netcom.com * GSX-R1100N (Not Blue & White) *
* j...@sactoh0.sac.ca.us * '81 Accord (Blue & White) *
* If in doubt - lob it out *
****************************************************************
* Burnt DAX 70, Sold MTX125R, PE175Z, RM465Z, CR500RE, GPz900R *
****************************************************************
* Save money on expensive nicotine gum by chewing regular gum *
* whilst smoking a cigarette at the same time. *
****************************************************************
Charles Bertrand
When I read a.t.j, I read it for amusing jokes which,
though often tasteless or bigotted were still found to be funny.
You have gone beyond that point, and you are now posting racial
slurs deliberately to offend the blacks who read the news group.
Very few people use the term 'nigger' in the jokes which make
fun of black people; they post the joke because they found the
idea amusing. Nigger is a term I find incredibly offensive when
the reason behind it is to insult my race.
That is the difference between the jokes most people post
and you. They find something amusing and come to the newsgroup
to share it with others who are mature enough to see it is a joke;
you are racist and have found a new avenue to insult and make
fun of blacks.
If you are old enough to use a computer, you should be
old enough to show some maturity. Grow up.
To everyone else, please notice the distinction. There
is a difference between posting tasteless jokes that we find
amusing, in order to make others laugh, and posting racial,
cultural, or religous slurs aimed at hurting other people.
Sincerely,
Charles Bertrand
bert...@husc.harvard.edu
Mike Gundlach
%_Youngie,
%_ When I read a.t.j, I read it for amusing jokes which,
%_though often tasteless or bigotted were still found to be funny.
%_You have gone beyond that point, and you are now posting racial
%_slurs deliberately to offend the blacks who read the news group.
%_Very few people use the term 'nigger' in the jokes which make
%_fun of black people; they post the joke because they found the
%_idea amusing. Nigger is a term I find incredibly offensive when
%_the reason behind it is to insult my race.
Good point. Everyone points out that this is a "tasteless" newsgroup,
but they forget about the "jokes" part.
%_ That is the difference between the jokes most people post
%_and you. They find something amusing and come to the newsgroup
%_to share it with others who are mature enough to see it is a joke;
%_you are racist and have found a new avenue to insult and make
%_fun of blacks.
%_ If you are old enough to use a computer, you should be
%_old enough to show some maturity. Grow up.
%_
%_ To everyone else, please notice the distinction. There
%_is a difference between posting tasteless jokes that we find
%_amusing, in order to make others laugh, and posting racial,
%_cultural, or religous slurs aimed at hurting other people.
%_
%_ Sincerely,
%_ Charles Bertrand
%_ bert...@husc.harvard.edu
I'm white!
A: It's one of the few two syllable words he knows!
Q: How does he get sexually excited?
A: He cover's his mom's butt with ashes and calls her mammy.
JERRY ALLEN WILES
<< Stuck-up Harvard clap-trap deleted >>
Well, Charles, I guess it is all in the way you look at it ...
See, if some bozo posts a bunch of jokes about caucasions,
(white people for you rednecks :), honkeys, etc, I don't get my panties all
tied up in a knot because I simply have better things to worry
about than some non-white racist(?) posting stupid shit to get
a response out of me. Being a Harvard student, I figured you may
be above this ... then again, maybe not.
Keep up the good work, Charles.
I am sure that Youngie is laughing his ass off about your reply.
Objoke: How do you know you are in a gay church?
ObAnswer: Only half the congregation is kneeling
David Harkins
You obviously need some education on the nature of humor. Being amused
and the effects thereof (laughing, etc) are caused by many things, but
primarily, and especially in a news group such as alt.tastless, you laugh
when something is so cruel that if you took it seriously, you would walk around
with a load on you constantly. It's our ability to make light of and laugh at
something that would otherwise be a drain that makes life bearable.
So if I make a joke like
What do you get when you cross a Pole and a nigger?
Nothing, even Poles have thier pride.
I'm not making it because I honestly want to hurt someone, but because if I
took it any other way than humorous, I would be depressed all the time.
The trick is NOT to be offended. You can't change what the person feels,
so either they keep any actual racist feelings inside till they get violent,
or you stop listening. Either option is unacceptable. Slurring others is one
of the only ways left to quite a few of us to make us feel important ourselves.
I myself am far from racist, I live with two blacks and two hispanics.
However, that will never stop me from liking and making jokes about Poles,
gooks, wasps, muds, fags, spics, niggers, dikes, newfies, rednecks, geeks,
jews, morons, or wops. If you can actually be offended by any kind of joke
posted on the net, then you need to check your cultural maturity level, and
get back to us when you secure enough not to take it personally.
I'd include an objoke, but I think the above was funny enough, and I'll save it
for another time.
--
David R. Harkins d...@hopper.acs.virginia.edu
"I want to thank my parents for loving me and taking care of me, and the
rest of the world can kiss my ass." -Johnny Franklin Garret
Shawn William Miller
Amen. Besides, there is so much funny shit in the world to make fun of, and
most of it is ten times funnier than any of the racial jokes I have seen.
-Psychotribble
bar...@comgate.austin.ibm.com
>
><< Stuck-up Harvard clap-trap deleted >>
>
>Well, Charles, I guess it is all in the way you look at it ...
>
>See, if some bozo posts a bunch of jokes about caucasions,
>(white people for you rednecks :), honkeys, etc, I don't get my panties all
>tied up in a knot because I simply have better things to worry
>about than some non-white racist(?) posting stupid shit to get
>a response out of me. Being a Harvard student, I figured you may
>be above this ... then again, maybe not.
>
>Keep up the good work, Charles.
>I am sure that Youngie is laughing his ass off about your reply.
>
>Objoke: How do you know you are in a gay church?
>ObAnswer: Only half the congregation is kneeling
Harvard, Smarvard. At least the man knows how to spell his own race.
John Young
>>See, if some bozo posts a bunch of jokes about caucasions,
> ^^^^^^^^^^
It's not hard to spell "Nigger", is it?
Charles Bertrand
My race would start with a "Z"
It's a bit hit or miss
As it is when I piss
Can you guess what it is Johnny?
The term I like starts with an "M"
Spelled easier th'n Caucasian
So shoot straight and true
As I do when I screw
I bet you will guess it then.
I figured we needed a response that belonged in a.t.j
P.S. John, I had heard your hitman joke before.
:-)
P.P.S. Yes, I know that some of the rhymes are self derogatory
and I was considering some verse that was very harsh toward some
one who shall remain nameless, but then I realized that this is
not alt.tasteless.joke.flame . . . Unless you are flaming a Yalie.
I'm still waiting for a POSTED response to Yale's I.Q. but that's
okay; I understand why you guys would not want everyone to know where
you go to school. I guess I need to start a new thread.
___
(o o)
---ooO-(_)-Ooo---
Sverre Larsson
>From: bert...@husc10.harvard.edu (Charles Bertrand)
>Date: 15 Jun 93 11:21:02
>Youngie,
> When I read a.t.j, I read it for amusing jokes which,
>though often tasteless or bigotted were still found to be funny.
>You have gone beyond that point, and you are now posting racial
>slurs deliberately to offend the blacks who read the news group.
I don't agree with you here. I'm not a rasist, but I enjoyed the jokes alot.
If you have any better 'white', 'jude','asian' anything really - Please come
on and post'em.
>Very few people use the term 'nigger' in the jokes which make
>fun of black people; they post the joke because they found the
>idea amusing. Nigger is a term I find incredibly offensive when
Well, the jokes have to be using rasistic expressions, thats part of the
story and makes it fun.
>the reason behind it is to insult my race.
So, insult back !
> That is the difference between the jokes most people post
>and you. They find something amusing and come to the newsgroup
>to share it with others who are mature enough to see it is a joke;
>you are racist and have found a new avenue to insult and make
>fun of blacks.
> If you are old enough to use a computer, you should be
>old enough to show some maturity. Grow up.
Grow up yourself !!!! - If you take all this jokes seriously you shouldn't
have joined in the firstplace. ( I never hear any dead babies complaining ! )
> To everyone else, please notice the distinction. There
>is a difference between posting tasteless jokes that we find
>amusing, in order to make others laugh, and posting racial,
>cultural, or religous slurs aimed at hurting other people.
>
> Sincerely,
> Charles Bertrand
> bert...@husc.harvard.edu
====================================================================
= E-mail:Sve...@benoni.nbr.no * Snail-mail: Sverre W. Larsson =
= Long live the C= Amiga * Revelmyra 22a, N-8600 MO, NORWAY =
====================================================================
John Young
Ray Charles (Bertrand)
bar...@comgate.austin.ibm.com
>>>
>>>See, if some bozo posts a bunch of jokes about caucasions,
>> ^^^^^^^^^^
>>Harvard, Smarvard. At least the man knows how to spell his own race.
>
>It's not hard to spell "Nigger", is it?
I see, it's even easier to be one, bub.
Shawn William Miller
Even I, a white boy, am aware of the fact that it is very easy, and takes very
little courage, to say that when African Americans are referred to as niggers,
they shouldn't take it personally. I assume, then, that you will not take it
personally when I say that you are a stupid ignorant, out of touch piece of shit
with no respect for other cultures or the feelings of people who like to read
funny jokes without being insulted.
Which brings up another point. Why doesn't someone start up an
alt.jokes.racial.hatred so we don't have to waste time with these discussions
anymore? To be quite honest, I am sick and tired of thumbing through all these
stupid overdone racial jokes to get to the funny jokes.
-Psychotribble
John Young
>Which brings up another point. Why doesn't someone start up an
>alt.jokes.racial.hatred so we don't have to waste time with these discussions
>anymore? To be quite honest, I am sick and tired of thumbing through all these
>stupid overdone racial jokes to get to the funny jokes.
>
>-Psychotribble
Well stop wasting bandwidth and post some jokes you fucking big girls blouse!
Christopher M. DiMarco
>old enough to show some maturity. Grow up.
>
> To everyone else, please notice the distinction. There
>is a difference between posting tasteless jokes that we find
>amusing, in order to make others laugh, and posting racial,
>cultural, or religous slurs aimed at hurting other people.
>
> Sincerely,
> Charles Bertrand
> bert...@husc.harvard.edu
i
God Bless you Charles. I was thinking the same thing and I'm white.
Christopher M. DiMarco
H. Rosendale
are quoting. I really enjoy reading the same shit over and over.
I will probably get flamed for not including a joke but,
a: I really don't want to post a joke that's been repeated 1,000 times,
b: I am too tired after reading the same discussion of what is okay to
post on an unmoderated newsgroup.
Enjoy life...it sucks.
Siddhartha
: Youngie,
: Sincerely,
: Charles Bertrand
: bert...@husc.harvard.edu
Dear Charles,
How completely arrogant of you. Because you find offense in that
term in the context of the group, is the only thing which it off-
ending to me. Very few if anyone uses these slang terms, and belives
in the meanings which are often steriotyped for the words. And for
those that do, all they want is what you are giving them, notice.
You should realize that if you said nothing it wouldn't be too much
fun for those who enjoy this kind of joke, eventually the same joke
will be told about a half dozen other cultures, race, cults, nations,
and so on. If this bothers you because its deragatory, well deal with
it like everyone else has to (someone is always gonna be the butt of
a joke), but if this offends you because you feel there is truth in it...
Well that is a problem indeed...
And by the way, you are the same kind of being everyone else here is.
So ignore the ignorant and enjoy the jokes.
OBJoke:
Q: What's the difference between your bonus and your penis?
A: You can trust your wife to blow your bonus.
trip...@sissa.it
writes:
etc.,etc.,
> Charles Bertrand (bert...@husc10.harvard.edu) wrote:
etc.,etc.,
Yeh, there is a lot of talk about racism. Let's also kill the racist whites.
Here is a poem by a German guy, I forget his name. Anybody heard of
it before?
Hey, Man!
Yes, When born I was black,
I grew, I black,
In youth, I black,
I die, I black,
And YOU!
You born, you pink!
In sun, you red!
In fear, you green!
In fever, you yellow!
In anger, you ash!
And in coffin, you blue!
And you call me coloured!
---------------Sugata Tripathi,SISSA,Italy
Wade Kirkpatrick
> etc.,etc.,
> ---------------Sugata Tripathi,SISSA,Italy
Hats of to Suda-ate-a-stale-puss-I
his posts are always the funniest there is to be seen
and tasteless um doggies <NOTTTTTT!!!!!!>
george j sabini
You ugly Fucker Wasp, You.
adam j. smargon
>>> Yes, When born I was black,
>>> I grew, I black,
>>> In youth, I black,
>>> I die, I black,
>>>And YOU!
>>> You born, you pink!
>>> In sun, you red!
>>> In fear, you green!
>>> In fever, you yellow!
>>> In anger, you ash!
>>> And in coffin, you blue!
>>>And you call me coloured!
>>> ---------------Sugata Tripathi,SISSA,Italy
I saw this at the end of some male black comedian's routine, and I (a white
Jewish heterosexual relatively-open-minded male) fell off my chair laughing.
Peace,
******************************************************************************
* Adam J. Smargon, The University of Florida, Gainesville, Florida 32612 USA *
* I am the L'orax, I speak for the trees... -Dr. Seuss **** (904)846-8804 ****
* I am an environmental case! * Recycle or die. * It's not easy being green. *
* The warming of the atmosphere is called the Greenhouse Effect. Not doing *
* anything about it is called the White House Effect. Living with it is *
* called the Outhouse Effect. -Pat Hazell *** RECY...@maple.circa.ufl.edu ***
******************************************************************************
rab...@carson.u.washington.edu
>
>In article <21216q$b...@esunix.sim.ES.COM>, wkir...@esunix.sim.ES.COM (Wade Kirkpatrick) writes:
>>trip...@sissa.it writes:
>>
>>>In article <211lli$k...@cville-srv.wam.umd.edu>, fe...@wam.umd.edu (Siddhartha)
>>>writes:
>>
>>> ---------------Sugata Tripathi,SISSA,Italy
>>
>>Hats of to Suda-ate-a-stale-puss-I
>>his posts are always the funniest there is to be seen
>>and tasteless um doggies <NOTTTTTT!!!!!!>
>
>You ugly Fucker Wasp, You.
George Sabini-
Wow! A new species! I've heard of digger wasps, spider wasps,
Ichneumonid wasps, gall wasps and brown hunter wasps, but never an "Ugly
Fucker Wasp". I'm really impressed!
Or was this your attempt at an insult? Naw. Too moronic.
dele...@gmail.com
Douglas D. Anderson
>Yeah fuck that nigger go on black.lives matter you.pussy hopefully u die shortly thereafter because niggers haven't made the country any better and neither have u get the fuck.out of here
wait to make great discoveries, and starts mixing various chemicals
and heating the concoctions over a Bunsen burner. He accidentally
spills some green and bubling gunk on himself and in a matter of
minutes, his skin is bleached white. Alarmed, he runs to his father
and shouts "Daddy Daddy! Look! I'm white! I'm white!" His father
doesn't bother to look up from his newspaper and tells his son, "Can't
you see I'm busy? Go talk to your mother...". So he runs to his
mother, "Mommy Mommy! Look! I'm white! I'm white!" His mother is at
the stove cooking dinner, and not looking, tells him, "Can't you see
I'm busy? Go talk to your sister...". The boy breaks into tears and
bawls, "I've only been white five minutes and already I hate those
people!"
noby tras
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Douglas D.. Anderson
wrote:
>Wonderful thread. Fuck them niggers.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Version 10.0
Posting Frequency: Every Week, more or less.
Last-modified: September 2, 2018
Maintained by Douglas D. Anderson (douganderson1981.gmail.com)
Formerly by Raymond Jensen (r...@andrew.spam.me.not.cmu.edu)
and before that by Jeroen van Kessel (jvke...@knoware.NOSPAM.nl,
and before that, Dave Pease (dpe...@c-prompt-sd.com)
HTML by Steven Willoughby (ora...@synapse.net)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Introduction
Greetings and welcome to what used to be the funniest place on the
Internet. Unfortunately, through lack of proper use atj is not what it
used to be.
Please read this FAQ if you are a newcomer to the group or if you
think it's okay to flame (racists, England, Minnesota, USA, Hillary
Clinton, Colin Kaepernick, etc.) without writing a joke.
If you don't feel like reading this entire FAQ, please remember the
following 2 rules:
*** DON'T POST TO THE NEWSGROUP WITHOUT INCLUDING A JOKE ***
*** DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU ***
As long as you always abide by this, and others do the same, this
newsgroup will be a much more rewarding endeavor for everyone.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
2. Table of Contents
1. Introduction
2. Table of Contents
3. Safe Use of atj - a note for newbies
4. Frequently Asked Questions
5. Other resources
6. Conclusion
7. objoke
8. Take me to the alt.tasteless.jokes newsgroup
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
3. Safe Use of atj - a note for newbies
So you are a new participant in this newsgroup, eh? Well, I hope you
have your asbestos suit handy--because, regardless of what folks say,
atj is a mine field for new members. The people who read this group
are not very patient with silly mistakes, and are not very restrained
in going about flaming them. This place is not for the weak of
spirit...
That being said, if you go over this FAQ carefully, your chances of
posting unburned will be significantly higher. And just remember: if
there's one thing this newsgroup needs, it's new blood, newbies with
new jokes. So, regardless of the result, if you are posting new
material to atj, your work will be appreciated by the (probably
silent) majority.
Good luck.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
4. Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Hi. I don't want to read this whole long FAQ. Got any quick advice
for me?
A: Yes. Don't post anything to this newsgroup without including a
tasteless joke along with it. That's the most important thing I can
tell you.
Q: What is a joke?
A: The word "joke" comes from "yoke", to "join together". A "joke" is
like a koan, joining together two or more thoughts or concepts which
are held to be serious and even sacred, but which are irreconcilable.
For example-
"What would Jesus do?" + "What would you do for a Klondike Bar?"
= "What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?"
"Government" + "Intelligence"
= "Government Intelligence"
Some jokes are more complex, such as "Bungee Jumping in Mexico"
and "Death by Rooroo", and "The parable of the wedding guest", but
similarly conjoin irreconcilable concepts.
Q: I see the description of this newsgroup is "sometimes disgusting
rather than tasteless or funny." Does that mean it's proper to post
stuff that is just plain disgusting, even if it's not funny?
A: No. The description was written that way because too many folks
post useless junk instead of tasteless jokes. If everyone posted
appropriate material to this newsgroup, that description would no
longer apply. Let's all work towards this end. Please post only
tasteless jokes here. If you want to become proficient at this, study
the work of such masters of tasteless jokes as Bob Tulk and Blanche
Knott.
Q: Hi, I'm not interested in what this group's about, I'm just testing
my news gateway here, sorry about that, only be a minute-
A: There are places for testing your net connection. This is not one
of them. Neither is any other newsgroup not named alt.test or
something like it. Please take your tests there. Otherwise be prepared
to get flamed.
Q: Hey, I found this *great* book entitled "How to Win Friends and
Influence People" written by this visionary named Dale Carnegie that
I'd like to show to all you guys-
A: Please don't. You won't make any friends here like that.
Q: I like humor, but I don't want to be offended.
Is alt.tasteless.jokes for me?
A: No. Why don't you go to rec.humor.funny (a moderated newsgroup
guaranteed to be inoffensive) or rec.funny (which is probably a safer
bet for the thin-skinned)?
Q: I saw a joke that I liked, and I have a somewhat related joke that
I would like to post under the same thread. How should I go about
doing this?
A: Just go about your business using common sense. If it was a long
story joke that you read, and you want to post a joke relating to it,
you probably do not need to copy the whole joke into your reply.
This is especially inappropriate if you post a one-liner after a five
paragraph story joke. This wastes time, and is generally a good way
to get yourself flamed.
Q: I saw a joke that I liked. I'd like to tell the poster so. What is
the accepted way of doing this?
A: It's always better to do these things via email. Unfortunately
nobody uses real email addresses because of spambots.
Q: I saw a joke that just was not funny. It bothered me because it
made reference to (Hitler, Jews, whites, blacks, homosexuals, etc.)
in a disparaging manner. What can I do about this?
A: Good question. A general rule of thumb in this situation is that no
one cares what you think. If you post to the net with a flame of this
joke, you waste bandwidth and all you are doing is pissing other
people off. If a joke is not funny, just let it die in peace. If you
have a good sense of humor, and have correctly gauged the joke's
value, it will disappear quickly. If not, you, and not the poster, may
be the problem. In this group there is no such thing as political
correctness, and nothing is "taboo", nothing is sacred - "freedom of
speech" is the rule, and if your joke includes terms such as "kikes",
"wops", "niggers", "crackers", "spics" or "fudge-packers", no one is
going to care as long as you are posting a joke and not some
intentionally threatening or inflammatory diatribe.
Q: That's not good enough. I want to let this person know that I do
not appreciate the joke and possibly shame him/her into refraining
from posting in the future. What do I do now?
A: It's always good to have such dedication on this group - keeps us
strong. If you feel the need to flame the poster of this joke, by all
means do it. Hey, it's a free world, right?
Q: It's not possible. I want to tell the world what I think. I'm
posting on the net and if you don't like it then screw off, okay?
A: I was afraid it would get to this point. If you need to post a
flame for everyone to see and appreciate (and I have seen some
flames that qualify as being material that I appreciate) then post a
joke with it. That's what the 'objoke' means on all of these posts
around here. Were this newsgroup used correctly there would be at
least one joke in every post. So if you've got a complaint that you
want the world to hear, include a joke that you want the world to hear
and you will be more appreciated.
Q: Okay, how about this (Mel, Lik_My_Sak, et. al.) guy? He really
pisses me off every time he posts - and he posts a lot. How do I get
him to stop? Flame every one of his posts?
A: It's called a killfile. Look into it.
Q: I saw a joke that was very insensitive to the struggles of (insert
minority here). Isn't that illegal?
A: Look. Can you read the name of this group? Here, let me help you -
alt.tasteless.jokes. When you read a joke about blacks, or Chicanos,
or mathematicians, what you are reading is the epitome of
tastelessness, i.e. judging a group of people based on stereotypes. My
advice to you would be deal with it. I guarantee that for every one of
you who is offended, a bunch of tasteless people found the joke very
funny. So shut yer yap. Remember who you are dealing with here: not
alt.sensitivity, alt.save.the.earth, alt.save.the.whales., or
alt.inner.child. The people who post here are often crude, obnoxious
and un presentable in public. Hence the term tasteless in the
newsgroup title. If you are offended by a joke then perhaps you are in
the wrong place.
And no, it's not illegal to post such a joke.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
5. Other resources
A. Humor newsgroups
* alt.humor.best-of-usenet - The funniest posts from all over the
usenet.
* alt.humor.puns - If you find such things funny...
* rec.humor.funny - A moderated newsgroup. Tame.
* rec.humor - Less caustic than atj.
* talk.bizarre - Funny-peculiar stuff.
* alt.change.lightbulb - pretty self explanatory.
B. Tasteless newsgroups
* alt.tasteless - The drainage culvert below the information
superhighway.
* alt.tasteless.penis - I haven't got a clue and I probably am
better
off that way...
* alt.binaries.pictures.grotesque - Stomach-turning binary posts.
C. Flame newsgroups
* alt.flame - If you'd like to generically piss someone off for no
good
reason, atj is *not* the best place to do it. In alt.flame, they
like
this type of thing. Get off on it or something. Whatever. In any
case,
please post your basic flames here, and not in atj.
* alt.nuke.europe - If you've got a problem with England, this is a
*great* place to check out.
* alt.nuke.the.USA - If you've got a problem with the United
States,
this is a *great* place to check out.
D. Web sites
See the Humor HOTList for other WWW sites.
E. Ghosts to watch out for- if you see new posts from any of these
folks, contact the Ghost Adventures crew immediately-
G - P (aka Girdle Popper), Mr. FBI (aka Mr Funnybone International),
+Wayne, Spitfire, Jule§, Gernot Lachner (aka vampeleon, RIP),
CheechWizard, Blob, OverMuch, Loz, Omar the Camel Humper,
Tropigal, Mi MM ke, Lancome_Girl, Ærchie, ur_droll, Lik Mai Sak,
Leigh, RamSys, Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy), MadMax, Keith E.,
Mel (aka Richard Catto)
F. Keys to the Kingdom:
Terms and abbreviations commonly used in this and other newsgroups:
http://www.harley.com/usenet/usenet-tutorial/
http://mugsy.org/asa_faq/glossary/usenet.shtml
In addition, you may find other abbreviations not so well documented,
such as
ESOD - "Eat shit and die."
ESOL - "Eat shit and live",
etc., which might be best learned by searching the Google Groups
archive. Beware asking regular users, this is like asking a passing
stranger in The Bronx, NY, for directions.
Good advice: when adding to a thread, always post to the bottom, and
avoid leaving a lot of headers on top, unless you intend to be
annoying.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
6. Conclusion
If you want to flame me (or anyone) in the newsgroup please include
an objoke when you do so. Additional suggestion- avoid posting
binaries
here, and avoid crossposting to non-humor groups if at all possible.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
7. objoke
>From: ka...@earth.without.spam.net (´¯`·.¸¸. Karel .¸¸.·´¯`)
>
>There were two friends in Russia. Both of them were drunks. One of
>them was happy, while another sad. The happy one asked the other:
>"Tell me, what's buggin' ya?"
>"You see, when I come home drunk, my wife locks a door. I have to walk
>the streets for many hours, and get into trouble with police. They
>want to get rid off me at work. Nothing to cheer about."
>"You know, I had that problem in the past, but found a solution. I am
>undressing naked at the stairways, press a bell button. When my wife
>opens a door, I throw my clothes inside. She is affraid of the
>scandal, so she lets me in."
>"You know, I gonna try it."
>Few weeks later they meet again and the sad guy is even worse than
>usual.
>"What happend? Did you try my method?"
>"Let me tell you. I undressed, pressed the button. The door opened. I
>threw all of my clothes, the doors closed. And then I heard: The next
>station - Red Square"
8. Take me to the alt.tasteless.jokes newsgroup
zodwe...@gmail.com
A COON-dominium.
Douglas D.. Anderson
>What do you call an apartment full of niggers?
>A COON-dominium.
violent black men?
A) Quarterback
sjtb...@gmail.com
> 1. Q. Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?
> A. Coz he doesn't know he's black!
>
> 2. Q. What does it say on the inside of a niggers lip?
> A. Inflate to 30 pounds!
>
> 3. Q. Why don't niggers drive convertables?
> A. Coz there lips would flap them to death!
>
> 4. Q. Why do nigger smell?
> A. So the blind can hate them as well!
>
> 5. Q. Why do niggers wear large brimmed hat?
> A. To stop the pigeons shitting on their bottom lips!
>
> 6. Q. What do you call a nigger with a bike?
> A. A thief!
>
> 7. Q. What do you say to a nigger with a job?
> A. Cheeseburger and chips please!
>
> 8. Q. Why do niggers drive cars with small stearing wheels?
> A. So they can drive with handcuffs on!
>
> 9. Q. What does a nigger use a brick for?
> A. Down payment on a T.V.!
>
> 10. Q. Why do niggers wear platformed shoes?
> A. To stop their knuckles dragging on the ground!
>
> 11. Q. How do you stop a nigger jumping on your bed?
> A. Velcro on the ceiling!
>
> 12. Q. What do you throw a drowning nigger?
> A. His wife and kids!
>
> 13. Q. What do you throw a drowning nigger?
> A. An anvil!
>
> 14. Q. What's the difference between a nigger and a bicycle?
> A. A bicycle doesn't sing old man river when it's chained up!
>
> 15. Q. Why have nigger got big nostrils, big lips, curly hair and smell?
> A. Because they deserve it!
>
> 16. Q. What do you call a guy surrounded by 5 niggers?
> A. Coach!
>
> 17. Q. What do you call a nigger in a suit?
> A. The accused!
>
> 18. Q. What do you call a guy surrounded by 100 niggers?
> A. Warden!
>
> 19. Q. What do you get if you cross a pig and a nigger?
> A. Nothing because pigs are fussy who they fuck now days!
>
> 20. Q. What do you get if you cross a nigger with an octupus?
> A. Something that doesn't look good but it can sure pick cotton!
>
> 21. Q. What do you get if you cross a nigger and a mexican?
> A. A car thief that's too lazy to steal!
>
> 22. Q. How do you get a nigger pregnant?
> A. Come in some shit and let the flies do the rest!
>
> 23. Q. What does a nigger eat for breakfast?
> A. Coon flakes and Wogurt!
>
> 24. Q. Why can't niggers cllimb mountains?
> A. Coz their lips burst above 5000 feet!
>
> 25. Q. What do you call a pickup going over a cliff with three niggers
> in it?
> A. A waste, you could fit four niggers in a pick up!
>
> 26. Q. What do you get if you cross a smurf and a nigger?
> A. A smigger!
>
> 27. Q. What do you call a nigger with a stutter?
> A. A cacoon!
>
> 28. Q. A fat nigger and a small nigger jump of a building, who hits the
> gound first?
> A. Who gives a fuck!
>
> 29. Q. What do you call 200 niggers burried to their foreheads?
> A. Afro turf!
>
> 30. Q. Why did god give niggers rythm?
> A. Coz he fucked up their lips, nostrils and hair!
>
> 31. Nigger Son to nigger dad, "Hey dad, why have you got your sunglasses
> on at night?".
> "There not my sunglasses they're my nostrils son".
>
> 32. Q. What's colorless and lies in the gutter?
> A. A nigger with the shit kicked out of him!
>
> 33. Q. What's black and slides down your windows at dawn?
> A. Coondensation.
>
> 34. Q. Have you heard about the new pack of Rodney King playing cards?
> A. 51 clubs and one spade!
>
> 35. Q. What's got an I.Q. of 250.
> A. Any nigger country!
>
> 36. Q. Do you know how to save a drowning nigger?
> A. No? That's great!
>
> 37. Q. Why are niggers good at dancing?
> A. Coz Dis goes here, dis goes there! (Disco's for you slow niggers!)
>
> 38. Q. What's the black stuff between elephants toes?
> A. Slow niggers!
>
> 39. Q. What do you get if you cross a nigger with a pakistani!
> A. A car thief that can't drive!
>
> 40. How about the half Jew and half nigger, his friend offered to
> sell him his bike and he wasn't sure whether to knock him down on
> the price or steal it!
>
>
>
> --
> ****************************************************************
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