Daniel and the lions den
Michael Hugh Dutton
It started with some crime that daniel had committed and then was thrown
into the lions den where he "shat a shit of 40 thousand cubits"
"the lions thought what manner of man can shit a shit of 40 thousand cubits"
"the next morning the king saw daniel still alive ""shit cried the king"
and a thousand loyal aseholes flashed in the sunlight
the king then called for his instruments of torture
"bring me my aluminium alloyed asehole agitator
bring me my big black buggery box
bring me my copper coated chromium copulator
.
.
.
bring me my tungsten tuffened twat twisters
the king continues to call for his instruments of torture through the whole
alphabet
if any one has it or knows some more please post it or Email me
at md...@cs18.cs.aukuni.ac.nz
tia
+---------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Insest the game the whole family can play |
| have you played with mommy today |
| |
| md...@cs18.cs.aukuni.ac.nz |
| sorry no disclamer (I deny everything) |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------+
David Zabel
Michael Hugh Dutton <md...@cs.aukuni.ac.nz> wrote:
> A while ago I heard of a silly story of Daniel and the lions den.
lots deleted
> if any one has it or knows some more please post it or Email me
This is the version that I memorized at summer camp @4th grade.
Twas the night of the king's castration
The royal ball was about to come off
Up rode Daniel on his great white steed
Ho! cried Daniel
What Ho! cried the King
Your asshole you silly son of a bitch
Nobody called the King a "silly son of a bitch"
Immediatly upon his utterance Daniel was thrown into the lion's den
Upon being thrown in he slipped on a turd and came in third
Scoring a point for the common people (but that's another story entirely)
In the lions den was a friendly lion named Tess
Tess being a friendly lion came over and licked Dan's balls
Ho Ho Hee Hee cried Daniel
What's so funny cried the King
Your testicles you silly son of a bitch
Nobody called the King a "silly son of a bitch"
Daniel was immediately thrown into another lion's den
This lion being not so friendly picked up a turd and threw it at Daniel
Daniel ducked
Shit! cried the King (as the turd hit him in the face)
Immediately 10,000 pairs of iron clad drawers hit the dust
For the King's word was law
Where's the Queen? cried the King in a rage
Up in her bedchambers with laryngitis
You mean she prefers the puny prick of the Duke of Pomegranite
to the dangling dong of the Duke of Denmark?
Fuck the Queen
Immediately 10,000 pairs of iron clad drawers hit the dust
For the King's word was law
Later that night in the Queen's bedchamber the King yelled:
Roll over bitch
Fucked if I will
Cornholed if you don't
That night the queen was cornholed
The King woke up in a rage
Land, Land, I need more land
Hearing this the Queen kick him in the balls and said:
Hows that for a couple of achers
Daniel siezing this as his chance to escape
Jumped on his great white steed and shot off in all directions.
Any other versions?
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
_/_/_/ David R. Zabel _/_/_/ +1 510 883 9500 Voice _/_/_/
_/_/_/ za...@cory.eecs.berkeley.edu _/_/_/ +1 510 486 1127 Fax _/_/_/
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
mch...@mta.ca
>In article <1993Sep10....@cs.aukuni.ac.nz>,
>Michael Hugh Dutton <md...@cs.aukuni.ac.nz> wrote:
>> A while ago I heard of a silly story of Daniel and the lions den.
>
>lots deleted
>
>> if any one has it or knows some more please post it or Email me
>
The version I know goes something like this :
Twas the eve of the King's castration
All the Viscounts, recounts, discounts, and some poor bastards who couldn't
count at all were sitting in the front row.
In walked the King wearing his diamond-studded jockstrap.
"Shit", said the King
"Bastard", said Daniel.
"Throw that cocksucker to the lions", said the King
They threw Daniel to the lions, but he grabbed the lion by his tail and flung
him inside out
Shit flew at random - random ducked.
It hit the princess
"Fuck", said the princess
The Duke, being quick to act, grabbed her by her ass and flung her over his
prick.
"Where's the Queen?", hollered the King.
"In bed with Lumbego", said the Jester.
"Get that cocksucker out of there", said the King.
The King walked into the Queen's bedroom - she was lying on her stomach.
"Roll over", said the King.
"Fucked if I do", said the Queen.
"Cornholed if you don't", said the King.
"Shit", said the King.
And since the King's word was law, 55000 pairs of iron-clad pants hit the dirt.
- Michael Chute