Physics for Amatures

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Douglas D. Anderson

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May 14, 2003, 7:17:07 PM5/14/03
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Q) If heat rises, why is it warmer in the south?


Douglas D. Anderson

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May 14, 2003, 7:39:09 PM5/14/03
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Q) If heat rises, why is the hot water on the left?


Lady Giraffe

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May 14, 2003, 8:13:34 PM5/14/03
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"Douglas D. Anderson" <d...@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message
news:xsAwa.3332$5y5....@twister.nyroc.rr.com...

> Q) If heat rises, why is the hot water on the left?
>
>

Standards...

Why are hot water handle always on the left? Because cold water handles
were already on the right since the majority of folks were right
handed...all this before running hot water.

And from an article on Costa Rica

Figuring out my faucets!! I was somewhat puzzled for a while because the
right faucet has a H on it and the left faucet has a C but the hot water
faucet is on the left and cold on the right. I finally realized that the H
stands for helado (chilly) and the C for caliente (hot)!

And then there's this little silly 'clue' ...

"Please drive on the right side of the road (left side if your country has
the steering wheel on the right side of the vehicle).

Although your home inspector should have checked during your home
inspection, when you move into your new home, be sure to double check all of
the plumbing faucets to be certain that the cold water faucet is on the
right side and that the hot water faucet is on the left side, that's the
standard convention that people are used to. Imagine a guest in your shower
who adjusts the cold water faucet to cool down a very hot shower only to
come to the unhappy conclusion that they have actually made a hot shower
scalding hot; an unpleasant and potentially hazardous surprise.

Remember, always drive on the ``right" side of the road, that's the ``cool"
thing to do."


So much for it having anything to do with 'hot air rising'...this post
should rise pretty high...hehehe.

LG


Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)

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May 14, 2003, 11:26:40 PM5/14/03
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On Wed, 14 May 2003 16:13:34 -0800, "Lady Giraffe" <nos...@nospam.com>
wrote in alt.tasteless.jokes:

The Three Rules of Plumbing:

1) Hot on the Left
2) Cold on the Right
3) Shit don't flow uphill

On a related note, can we locate the dickhead who invented the
push-button faucet and cut his balls off with piano wire? I fucking
hate those things. They most often turn up in fast food places, where
the employees are supposed to be washing their hands before returning
to the kitchen. Now, since we're already operating under the
assumption that there is *something* on their hands that *needs* to be
washed off, how much sense does it make for them to hold the button
down with their contaminated hands, wash their hands, and then have to
hold down the contaminated button with the hands they are trying to
clean, in order to rinse the soap off of them? Don't get me wrong, I
know why places like that use them, because if they didn't, dickheads
like me would stuff paper towels in the drain and leave the water on,
flooding the bathroom, but wouldn't it make a whole lot more sense to
have some kind of foot pedal setup, instead?

I realize this isn't really very important, but it still annoys me
anyway.
--
V.G.
"THis was is easy -------------------- NONE"
"Hawkeye" solves the eternal mystery, in message-ID: <NVpaa.6189$Xo3.9...@news20.bellglobal.com>

(This sig file contains not less than 80% recycled SPAM)

Sarcasm is my sword, Apathy is my shield.

OzDj

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May 15, 2003, 3:30:09 AM5/15/03
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"Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)" <vgor...@pobox.alaska.net> wrote in message
news:1o16cv42p6mlal1qv...@4ax.com...

Here in Australia some of the more up-market places now have automatic taps,
you put your hands under the tap & the water just comes out.
Who said Aussies are behind the times?!?!?!?!?!?


SAM


Douglas D. Anderson

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May 15, 2003, 7:11:07 AM5/15/03
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"OzDj" <oz...@ihug.com.au> wrote in message news:b9vfm3$745$1...@lust.ihug.co.nz...

The only place near here that has those is a Chinese restaurant, but then
the whole effect is spoiled by a door with a doorknob that must be pulled
inward. For sanitation purposes, public restroom doors should all be
push types that open out. They should be placed in high traffic corridors
with doors that suddenly swing out.


marvin

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May 15, 2003, 7:27:07 AM5/15/03
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"Douglas D. Anderson" <d...@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message
news:fBKwa.81659$O06....@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
Doorknobs eh.

Two newly weds rented a room in a big hotel and, since they were shy, they
decided to turn out the lights, take off their clothes and then they would
meet each other in the middle of the room in the dark and consumate their
marriage.

They came out and headed for each other's silhouette in the appropriate
position but missed. The groom went through the french windows and fell off
the balcony into the pool.

He had no clothes and the foyer of the hotel was busy so he called up to the
room as loud as he could.

He called for some time and nobody came. Then eventually a hotel employee
came and brought him down a big towel.

"Sorry, sir" he apologised. "I would have come sooner but there was an
emergency upstairs."

"We had to clear a big crowd from the first flloor. Somehow a naked woman
got stuck on a doorknob."


Spitfire

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May 16, 2003, 3:10:43 AM5/16/03
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"Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:
>
> Q) If heat rises, why is it warmer in the south?

Because the South sucks.

HTH.
--
Spitfire
You done yet?


Spitfire

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May 16, 2003, 3:10:58 AM5/16/03
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"Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:
>
> Q) If heat rises, why is the hot water on the left?

......passion..... <eg>

Spitfire

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May 16, 2003, 3:13:38 AM5/16/03
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The ones that bug me are the automatic urinals,....you'll be in there all
alone and suddenly the porcelain receptacle will flush right next to you....

....glancing in the mirror is optional.....

Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)

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May 20, 2003, 1:43:15 AM5/20/03
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On Fri, 16 May 2003 07:13:38 GMT, Spitfire <spitf...@my-deja.com>
wrote in alt.tasteless.jokes:

I can't remember where I saw it, but it was a comic strip or cartoon
or something about a vampire in an airport restroom, and he was
getting all pissed off about not being able to activate the infrared
faucets.

Spitfire

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May 20, 2003, 2:04:47 AM5/20/03
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"Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)" wrote:
>
> On Fri, 16 May 2003 07:13:38 GMT, Spitfire <spitf...@my-deja.com>
> wrote in alt.tasteless.jokes:
>
> >"Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)" wrote:
> >>
> >
> >The ones that bug me are the automatic urinals,....you'll be in there all
> >alone and suddenly the porcelain receptacle will flush right next to you....
> >
> >....glancing in the mirror is optional.....
>
> I can't remember where I saw it, but it was a comic strip or cartoon
> or something about a vampire in an airport restroom, and he was
> getting all pissed off about not being able to activate the infrared
> faucets.

I have a female friend who regularly blows lightbulbs....

.....gives me ideas.....

marvin

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May 20, 2003, 8:52:30 AM5/20/03
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"Spitfire" <spitf...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:3EC9C570...@my-deja.com...

mom or anty?


Pollywolly

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May 20, 2003, 8:56:43 AM5/20/03
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"marvin" <mar...@pissoff.com> wrote in message
news:3eca2510$0$15328$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...

Anty?

>
>


marvin

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May 20, 2003, 9:41:15 AM5/20/03
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"Pollywolly" <polly...@ihug.com.au> wrote in message
news:bad8mg$c2r$1...@lust.ihug.co.nz...

[stop answerin mail for the man with one b.]


Spitfire

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May 20, 2003, 12:12:26 PM5/20/03
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> mom or anty?

Oh look,.....a dim bulb.....

marvin

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May 21, 2003, 5:03:39 AM5/21/03
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"Spitfire" <spitf...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:3ECA546B...@my-deja.com...

better go in the kitchen with mom for a while - the rapists may sneak up
behind you in the half light. c u later.


Pollywolly

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May 21, 2003, 5:18:31 AM5/21/03
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"marvin" <mar...@pissoff.com> wrote in message
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Had trouble figuring out if Spitty was being warned or threatened

>
>


marvin

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May 21, 2003, 5:36:36 AM5/21/03
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"Pollywolly" <polly...@ihug.com.au> wrote in message
news:bafg9e$s57$1...@lust.ihug.co.nz...

he heard there were gangs of rapists in iraq - he got so afraid.


Pollywolly

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May 21, 2003, 5:41:49 AM5/21/03
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> > > >
> > > > Oh look,.....a dim bulb.....
> > >
> > > better go in the kitchen with mom for a while - the rapists may sneak
up
> > > behind you in the half light. c u later.
> >
> > Had trouble figuring out if Spitty was being warned or threatened
>
> he heard there were gangs of rapists in iraq - he got so afraid.

Awwwwww - were you gonna hold his hand and tell him it was ok?

>
>


Spitfire

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May 22, 2003, 1:24:07 AM5/22/03
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Of what?

You?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Spitfire

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May 22, 2003, 1:24:16 AM5/22/03
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......he wan't to hold something all right....

Pollywolly

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May 22, 2003, 2:38:45 AM5/22/03
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"Spitfire" <spitf...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:3ECB7A74...@my-deja.com...

So you just wanted to be held?

Spitfire

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May 22, 2003, 2:59:41 AM5/22/03
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Yeah,.......hold me.....

.......lower.......

Pollywolly

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May 22, 2003, 3:07:04 AM5/22/03
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"Spitfire" <spitf...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:3ECC75E2...@my-deja.com...

*tweaks your nipple*

Spitfire

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May 23, 2003, 6:27:40 AM5/23/03
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Pollywolly wrote:
>
> "Spitfire" <spitf...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
> news:3ECC75E2...@my-deja.com...
> > Pollywolly wrote:
> > >
> > > "Spitfire" <spitf...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
> > > news:3ECB7A74...@my-deja.com...
> > > > Pollywolly wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Oh look,.....a dim bulb.....
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > better go in the kitchen with mom for a while - the rapists
> may
> > > sneak
> > > > > up
> > > > > > > > behind you in the half light. c u later.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Had trouble figuring out if Spitty was being warned or
> threatened
> > > > > >
> > > > > > he heard there were gangs of rapists in iraq - he got so afraid.
> > > > >
> > > > > Awwwwww - were you gonna hold his hand and tell him it was ok?
> > > >
> > > > ......he wan't to hold something all right....
> > >
> > > So you just wanted to be held?
> >
> > Yeah,.......hold me.....
> >
> > .......lower.......
>
> *tweaks your nipple*

Yup,....yer a tease.....

ur_droll

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May 23, 2003, 10:13:22 AM5/23/03
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"Spitfire" <spitf...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:3ECDE854...@my-deja.com...

she was aiming for your dick... and grabbed the lowest appendage


The Return Of GP

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May 23, 2003, 10:27:59 AM5/23/03
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--
http://www.geocities.com/mystacy/atjfaq.htm

http://www.mystacy.com/fagboymel/melmorph.html


"ur_droll" <Ch...@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message
news:I0qza.24343$3t6.2...@news.xtra.co.nz...

don't you wish you had a dick kiwi?

define: "Cruise Missile"

answer: "Asian driving a car talking on a cell phone".

>
>


ur_droll

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May 23, 2003, 10:31:15 AM5/23/03
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"The Return Of GP" <The_Retu...@NoFagBoysAllowed.Com> wrote in message
news:Pdqza.81$vx3....@kent.svc.tds.net...
:
:
: --

as if you ain't my bitch


The Return Of GP

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May 23, 2003, 10:50:15 AM5/23/03
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"ur_droll" <Ch...@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message

news:thqza.24369$3t6.2...@news.xtra.co.nz...

you only wish don't you kiwi.

One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to
God, "Lord, I have a problem."

"What's the problem, Adam?" God replies.

"Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me
with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but
I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Adam?" comes the reply from the heavens.

"Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food
and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely."

"Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a
'woman' for you."

"What's a 'woman,' Lord?"

"This 'woman' will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and
beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that
she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so
sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make
you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth.
She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will
be the perfect companion for you," replies the heavenly voice.

"Sounds great."

"She will be, but this is going to cost you, Adam."

"How much will this 'woman' cost me Lord?" Adam replies.

"She'll cost you a leg, an arm, an eye, an ear, and a testicle."

Adam ponders this for some time, with a look of deep thought and concern
on his face. Finally Adam asks God,
"Uh, what can I get for a rib?"

>
>


Spitfire

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May 23, 2003, 1:48:18 PM5/23/03
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Stop dreaming,....she'll never grab you....

ur_droll

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May 23, 2003, 4:15:59 PM5/23/03
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"The Return Of GP" <The_Retu...@NoFagBoysAllowed.Com> wrote in message
news:Hyqza.92$vx3....@kent.svc.tds.net...
:
:
: --

That's right.... my every wish is your command


ur_droll

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May 23, 2003, 4:16:23 PM5/23/03
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"Spitfire" <spitf...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:3ECE5F69...@my-deja.com...

good...... she doesn't wash


The Return Of GP

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May 23, 2003, 4:29:49 PM5/23/03
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"ur_droll" <Ch...@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message

news:Hkvza.24751$3t6.3...@news.xtra.co.nz...

been sniffing farts again kiwi?

A duck walks into a bar and sits on the counter and says:
"Have you got any bread?"
With this the barman looked stunned at the talking duck and said:
"Ahmm. No"
The duck looked staisfied with this answer and then looked at the shelves
and drinks on them, again he turned to the barman and asked:
"Have you got any bread?"
The barman, still quite stunned looked at the duck and said:
"No, This is a bar, theres a bakery three doors down, we have no bread
here!"
The duck looked staisfied with this answer and then looked around again,
saying:
"You must have bread, Have a look outside the back, there must be SOME bread
around somewhere!"
The barman getting decidedly pissed off, says:
"For fuck sake duck, WE HAVE NO BREAD!!"
The duck looked stunned at the answer, and then asked again:
"HAVE YOU GOT ANY BREAD"
"FUCK OFF"
"I JUST WANT SOME BREAD"
"I TOLD YOU...."
"HAVE YOU GOT ANY BREAD?"
"LISTEN.....DUCK.....IF YOU ASK ME FOR BREAD ONCE MORE I'M GONNA NAIL YOUR
FUCKIN BEAK TO THE COUNTER!!!!"
The duck, looks at the barman stunned and asks :
"Have you got any nails?"
The barman says:
"NO"
The duck pauses, then asks:
"Have you got any bread?"


>
>


The Return Of GP

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May 23, 2003, 4:32:15 PM5/23/03
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"ur_droll" <Ch...@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message

news:3lvza.24752$3t6.3...@news.xtra.co.nz...

you've never washed kiwi.

A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a
wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled.
The farmer said, "That's once."
A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again.
The farmer said, "That's twice."
After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again.
The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a

shotgun and shot the horse.
His brand new bride raised all kind of heck with him, telling him, "That

was an awful thing to do."
The farmer said, "That's once."


>
>


ur_droll

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May 23, 2003, 4:34:13 PM5/23/03
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"The Return Of GP" <The_Retu...@NoFagBoysAllowed.Com> wrote in message
news:jzvza.139$vx3.1...@kent.svc.tds.net...
:
:
: --

Not my arsehole..... that's your job 'bitch'


The Return Of GP

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May 23, 2003, 4:57:09 PM5/23/03
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"ur_droll" <Ch...@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message

news:OBvza.24779$3t6.3...@news.xtra.co.nz...

getting ready to start crying again kiwi?

One day the church was having a board meeting. All 100 nuns and
1 priest was there. The priest said to the 100 nuns, "There was
a light on last night!" 99 nuns go huh, 1 nun goes Tee Hee Hee
Hee.

The priest said to 100 nuns, "A bed was left un-made this
morning!" 99 nuns go huh, 1 nun goes Tee Hee Hee Hee.

The priest said to the 100 nuns, "There was a condom on the bed!"
99 nuns go huh, 1 nun goes Tee Hee Hee Hee.

The priest said to the 100 nuns, "The condom was broken!" 99
nuns go Tee Hee Hee Hee, 1 nun goes HUH!!!!


>
>


marvin

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May 24, 2003, 1:03:19 AM5/24/03
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"ur_droll" <Ch...@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message
news:3lvza.24752$3t6.3...@news.xtra.co.nz...
>

i resent that - it is well known that indians wash in the ganges to keep
themselves clean - they also shit in the ganges to keep the streets clean -
v. clean people!


ur_droll

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May 24, 2003, 1:55:09 AM5/24/03
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"marvin" <mar...@pissoff.com> wrote in message
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:
: "ur_droll" <Ch...@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message

not to mention... disposing of half cremated corpse's in it.


The Return Of GP

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May 24, 2003, 9:06:01 AM5/24/03
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"marvin" <mar...@pissoff.com> wrote in message

news:3ecefd1c$0$1025$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...

and you must be over there lapping up the streets and from the river roo
banger.

A man in a nudist camp wearing nothing but his
hat and sandals sees a woman approaching and
quickly lowers his hat over his genitals out of
modesty. She stands staring at him wordlessly,
and he says, "If you were a lady you wouldn't be
staring at me like that."
She says, "But if you were a gentleman you'd raise
your hat!"

>
>


The Return Of GP

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May 24, 2003, 9:07:07 AM5/24/03
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"ur_droll" <Ch...@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message

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is that where you dump the bodies at kiwi?

During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her
husband: Do you remember when you proposed to me, I
was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?"
The hubby replied: "Yes, honey, that was the happiest
hour of my life."
>
>


Spitfire

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May 26, 2003, 6:25:18 PM5/26/03
to

....oh yeah,....you live in fear.....

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