NIGGER JOKES
Preferred Customer
Anyone have any good nigger-jokes???
Sabre Man
What qualifies as good behavior in a Harlem school?
...Raising your hand before you pop a cap in the teacher.
What happens every time a nigger gets an abortion?
...Crime Stoppers sends her a check for $500.
What do you call a nigger at a KKK rally?
...Soon to be an ex-nigger.
What do you say to a black man in uniform?
..."I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke."
What is a nigger's favorite anti-perspirant?
...Unemployment.
How can you spot a Black masochist?
...He's the one working for a living.
Hear about the black version of "Shogun"?
...It's called "Shonuff".
What do poor nigger kids use instead of Play-Doh ?
...Fresh dog shit.
Hear about the new bumper sticker that says "Run, Jesse, Run"?
...You put it on the front of your car.
How do you get a black kid to take a shower?
...Open a fire hydrant, and start selling crack on the other side.
How has Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most niggers?
...He promised to create jobs for them if elected.
Hear about the new Chap Stick for niggers?
...It comes in a spray can.
What's the difference between good nigger kids and bad nigger kids?
...Good nigger kids are in medium security prisons.
How do you starve a nigger?
...Hide the food stamps and welfare checks under a bar of soap.
What is the most common form of transportation in Harlem?
...Ambulances.
Did you hear about the nigger and the Mexican who opened a restaurant?
...It's called Nacho Mama.
What do you call 100 parachuting niggers?
...Skeet.
Why did all the blacks die in Vietnam?
...When the sergent said "Get down!", they got up and started dancing.
What did the black kid get for Christmas?
...My bike.
How do you scare a black person?
...Take him to an auction.
What do you call a black-midget in Ireland?
...A lepra-coon.
What are the six words you never ever want to hear?
..."Hi, I be yo' new neighbor."
How is transportation being improved in Harlem?
...They're planting the trees closer together.
Why do blacks call white people "honkies"?
...That's the last noise they hear before the white people run them
over.
How was break dancing invented?
...By black kids stealing hubcaps from moving cars.
Why does California have so many fags and New York have so many
niggers?
...California had first choice.
What do you call a white guy surrounded by three blacks?
...A victim.
Twenty blacks?
...Coach
Thirty?
...Quarterback
200 blacks?
...warden
What is the difference between a "RAP" group's manager and a
proctologist?
...A proctologist only deals with one asshole at a time.
What's green and pink and purple and orange?
...A nigger dressed for church.
What is the New York State motto? ..."Eat, Drink and be Merry, for
tomorrow you may be killed by a nigger in
Central park."
What do you say to a nigger in a three-piece suit?
..."Will the defendant please rise."
Why don't niggers celebrate Thanksgiving.?
..."Kentucky Fried Chicken" isn't open on holidays
Did you hear about the nigger with insomnia?
...He lept waking up twice a week.
What do niggers say during foreplay?
..."If you scream, bitch, I'll kill you!"
If Tarzan and Jane were black, what would Cheetah be?
...The brains of the outfit.
What is eight miles long and has an I.Q. of 68?
...The "Martin Luther King Day" parade.
How do you stop five niggers from raping a white woman?
...Thrown them a basketball.
What's the first thing taught in a Harlem driving school?
...How to unlock a car with a coat hanger.
What do you call an unborn nigger baby?
...Janitor in a drum.
Why aren't there any sandboxes in Harlem?
...Cats keep trying to bury the baby niggers.
Hear about the new perfume for black women?
...It's called "Eau de doo dah day."
Why are so many niggers moving to Detroit?
...They heard there were no jobs there.
What is white yet has a black asshole?
...The Washington D.C. Mayor's office.
What does cotton have in common with noses?
...Niggers are good at picken both.
What do you call a conversation betwen Jesse Jackson & James Brown?
...Gibberish
Why was the wheelbarrow invented?
...To teach Niggers to walk on their hind legs.
Why do niggers stink?
...So blind people can hate them too.
What is printed on all African products?
..."Untouched by human hands."
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger
in the road?
...Skid marks in front of the dog.
How many niggers does it take to roof a building?
...Ten, if you slice them thin enough.
a man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
"wow! where did you get it?" asks the bartender. "africa!" says the parrot.
what happens when you shoot a black man riding a bike?
you get your bike back.
how do you stop a black man from drowning?
take your foot off his head! second prize: put a rock in the water!
what do you call a black preacher?
holy shit!
jesse jackson calls george at the white house and says "george, i understand
that all of the washing machines at the white house are white." george
responds,"i dunno jesse, let me check it out and i'll call you back." next
day george calls jesse back and says,"jesse, you were right. i checked it
out and all the washing machines at the white house are white, but all the
agitators are black!"
a black man is visiting china when he sees a couple go up to a fountain and
throw in a coin. it echos "ching chang ching". he asks them why they did
this and they said, "the echo shows your heritage!" so the black man threw
in a coin and the sound came back... "chim pan zee".
what did oprah winfrey's husband say when oprah asked to try a new position?
how now brown cow?
a black man asked a good-looking white woman, "let's play the road game!"
"what's that?" she said. "you lay down and i'll blacktop you!"
why don't black women make good nuns?
they can't say "superior" after "mother".
what is "fee fi fo fee fi fo fo"?
a black guy's phone number!
what's the difference between a black pussy and a bowling ball?
you can eat a bowling ball.
what color is a nigger after you run over him in the street?
flat black.
what do you call 10 niggers on a white guy?
a fair fight.
what do you get when you cross a nigger with a gorilla?
a dumber gorilla.
what does it say inside a nigger's lips?
"inflate to 20 psi."
what does harlem have in common with florsheim?
10,000 black loafers.
why don't niggers like convertibles?
because their lips flap in the wind.
what do you have when you put 10,000 blacks at the bottom of the ocean?
a good start.
why does a black man usually keep his fly open?
in case he has to count to eleven.
how do you spell cocoon?
n-nigger.
what do you call four niggers in a cadillac?
grand theft auto.
what does "pontiac" stand for in harlem?
poor old nigger thinks it's a cadillac.
what did jesse jackson say about the abortion bill?
"the check's in the mail."
did you hear about the 4 new legal holidays proposed for blacks?
1. reggie jackson day. 2. michael jackson day. 3. jesse jackson day.
4. september 21, the day new cadillacs come out.
a plane in the air is about to crash. on the plane is jesse jackson, the
president of the u.s., a priest and a school boy. there are only 3
parachutes left on the plane. as the plane is going down, the president
says "i'm the smartest white man in america!" he jumps out with a
parachute. jesse jackson says "i'm the smartest black man in america!" he
jumps out with the 2nd. there is only 1 parachute left now. the priest
then says to the kid..."listen, child. i have lived my life and i want you
to have a chance to live yours. you take the lastparachute." the kid says,
"don't worry, we can both have a parachute, the smartest black man in
america just took my school bag!"
the dirtiest word in harlem and watts? work.
what do you call a black man in thailand? a tycoon.
what's the most confusing day in harlem? father's day.
what do you call a black man in a tree? a branch manager.
the 2 most famous black women in history?
aunt jemima and mutha fucka.
what do they do with dead blacks in florida?
they skin them and use them for wet suits.
what do you call a black smurf? a smigger.
why does georgia have blacks and california have earthquakes?
california had first pick.
how do you tell if a black has been shot in the head?
by the hole in his ghetto blaster.
why did the black not want to marry a mexican?
he didn't want his kids to grow up too lazy to steal.
what do you do when you cross a black with a greek?
a guy who doesn't mind riding in the back of the bus.
what's black, has white eyes and knocks on glass?
a nigger in a microwave.
why don't blacks like blow jobs?
they don't like jobs period.
where did vanessa williams' parents pose nude?
national geographic.
why do blacks always have sex on their minds?
because they have pubic hair growing on their heads.
why do blacks have such big dicks?
because god was so sorry about what he did to their hair.
what do you call a black woman with braces?
a black & decker pecker wrecker.
what do you call a bunch of blacks buried in a field up to their necks?
afroturf.
in the depression, 2 darkies were screwin' on the railroad tracks when a
train approached. cried the man to the train, "i's a comin', youse a
comin', but youse the one with the brakes!"
what's long, black & smelly?
an unemployment line in the u.s.
what do you get when you cross a black with a sioux indian?
a sioux named boy.
what do you get when you cross a black guy with a japanese guy?
a guy who has an uncontrollable urge on dec. 7th to attack pearl bailey.
why do blacks keep chickens?
to teach their kids how to walk.
how do you make a black person nervous?
take him to an auction.
why did god invent the climax?
so niggers would know when to stop fucking.
the definition of worthless?
a 7' black with a 4" prick who can't play basketball.
why do blacks wear wide-brimmed hats?
so pigeons can't shit on their lips.
what do you get when you cross a black with a groundhog?
six more weeks of basketball season.
how do we know that adam and eve weren't black?
ever try to take ribs away from a black?
did you hear about the little black kid who had diarrhea?
he thought he was melting.
if a wac is a white woman in the army, what is a black woman in the army
called?
a waccoon.
why did the black kid have the biggest dick in 5th grade? he was 21.
what do black people call the easter bunny? dinner.
did you hear about the new black french restaurant?
it's called chez what?
what do you call 4 blacks in a '57 chevy? a blood vessel.
what's black and shines in the dark? oakland.
what did lincoln say after his 5-day drunk? "i freed who?"
why do blacks like to wear white gloves?
so they won't bite off their fingers eating tootsie rolls.
why do black men have such narrow hips?
so the roasting pole won't wobble.
what's black and white, black and white, and black, white and red?
a nigger and a pelican fighting over a carp.
what do you get if you put odor eaters in a black's shoes?
half a mile down the road you get a gold tooth, radio, and a
pair of tennis shoes.
what does the "n" stand for in atlanta's spelman (black) college?
"nowledge".
what did buckwheat (of little rascals' fame) call himself when he became a
basketball player?
kareem a'wheat.
why are the palms and soles of black people white?
they were spray-painted while assuming the position.
how do you get rid of a bunch of libyans?
tell a bunch of cajuns they're good eating and out of season.
what do you call a white cock in a black pussy?
blonde with black roots.
what do you call a white cock in a black pussy?
blackened whitefish.
what do you call a white cock in a black pussy?
reverse evolution.
what do you call a white cock in a black pussy?
white flight to the subhumans.
what do you call a black cock in a white pussy?
forced integration.
what do you call a black cock in a white pussy?
turd in the snow. second prize: cigar in the sand.
what do you call a black cock in a white pussy?
a tight fit.
what do you call a black cock in a white pussy?
paying for white guilt.
what do you call a black cock in a white pussy?
a well-fed cat.
what do you call it when a black man rapes a white woman?
forced bussing.
what do you call it when a white man rapes a black woman?
stocking the plantation.
who won the race down the tunnel, the black or the pollock?
the pollock, because the black had to stop and write "motherfucker" on the
wall.
the definition of an african momeback?
the black that rides on the back of the garbage truck yelling, "momeback,
momeback!"
why did god invent golf?
so that white people could dress up like blacks.
what's black and white and red all over?
an interracial couple in an auto wreck.
why is the pubic hair of a negress as stiff as a wire brush?
so she can do housework at the local stream.
why do some white chicks prefer black men?
for the same reason that some black chicks prefer horses.
what has 10 legs and says "hodedo hodedo"?
five blacks running for an elevator.
why do blacks like watermelon?
they finally have something big enough to use those lips on.
why do blacks like chitlins?
they are used to ropes.
why do blacks like ribs?
the sauce paints their faces red.
why did the nigger cross the road?
he smelled chicken.
how did the nigger cross the road?
on another nigger's spear.
what do tourists have to watch out for in african restrooms?
gay limbo dancers.
what's the difference between a nigger and a tire?
a tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.
why don't black babies like to play in sandboxes?
because cats keep trying to cover them up.
why don't they circumcize niggers?
because there's no end to those pricks.
what did the black man do after he caught a white woman's baby
she threw out of the window during a fire?
spiked it on the ground and shouted "touchdown!"
the 3 greatest lies?
the check's in the mail, black is beautiful, and i won't
cum in your mouth.
why aren't there any black skiers?
because their lips explode at high altitude.
what do you get when you cross a nigger with a monkey?
nothing, no monkey is dumb enough to fuck a nigger.
a nigger, a frenchman, a german, and a pollock were sitting in a bar. "i
like to fuck white women!" said the nigger. "that's grand!" said the
frenchman. "gut for you!" said the german. "i don't blame you," said the
pollock, "i don't like fucking those black ones either."
why is a nigger like a miner?
they are both lower than dirt and dig dark cavities.
a white woman was being hit on by a black man in a bar.
"i don't believe in changing colors" she said politely.
what does a pussy have in common with a negro's head?
both have kinky hair, big lips, and smell after a 15-minute workout.
why do they call a half-black half-white child a mulatto?
they don't know whether it is a white shit on by a mule or a black pissed on
by two.
what did the civil rights activist say after having quintuplets?
"i have overcome!"
in the same room were the presidents of the aclu, naacp, civil rights
commission, and the grand dragon of the kkk. in walks a beautiful blonde
blue-eyed white woman with a dark chocolate negro husband followed by some
light chocolate mulatto children. what happened?
they passed the chocolate.
why do condoms come in 7-packs for blacks, 9-packs for mexicans, and
12-packs for whites?
blacks do it every night, mexicans do it every night and twice on weekends,
and whites do it about once a month.
the definition of endless love?
stevie wonder and ray charles playing tennis.
why does ray charles smile all the time?
he doesn't know he's black.
have you ever seen ray charles's dick?
don't worry, neither has he.
why does ray charles only have a left nut?
'cause you've got the right one, baby.
do you know what n.a.a.c.p stands for?
"niggers are actually colored pollocks".
why do blacks walk the way they do?
because they spent the first nine months of their lives dodging a coat
hanger.
why do black women eat watermelon with their panties off?
to keep the flies off the watermelon.
what would you call bo derek if she were black?
a ten of spades.
why do black guys wear high-heeled shoes?
to keep from scraping their knuckles when they walk.
why is the n.f.l. going to change to green footballs?
did you ever hear of a black dropping a watermelon?
anybody seen these plays in the football games lately?
nrl: definition.. nigga run left!
nrr: definition.. nigga run right!
spdn: definition.. same play different nigga!
wbcr - white boy can't run
ymgf - yo ma good fuck
have you heard about the new black disaster movie?
it's called a-pack-of-lips now.
how come there were no black people in the flintstones?
they were all apes back then.
what do you call two black motorcycle cops?
chocolate chips.
what do you call a black with a c.b.?
thief! thief!
what is sickle-cell anemia?
aids for spades.
why does mike tyson cry during sex?
mace will do that to you.
what do you get when you cross a black and a frenchman?
jacques cousteaudian.
how come there are so few black astronauts?
they don't like saying "yes nasa, no nasa...".
did you hear about the two black guys on "that's incredible"?
one had a job, and the other knew his father.
what did god say when he made his second black man?
"oops, burned another one."
what is the "harlem rap"?
"watermelon, chitlins, cadillac car, we're not as dumb as you think we is."
did you hear about the toy store in harlem? it's called "toys'b'us."
what did kunta-kinte say when they chopped his foot? "where my toe-be?"
this guy has a girlfriend named wendy, and he really wants to impress her on
their first night, so he goes into the tattoo parlor to get her name
tattooed on his penis. the tattooist said "most of the time, though, it will
only read 'wy'". he said that was ok and went ahead and got the tattoo done.
well his girlfriend was really impressed, and his sex life was great
from then on.
one day he was at a public washroom and he saw a jamaican guy at the urinal
beside him. looking down, he saw the guy had 'wy' tattooed on his penis
too.
"wow, is your girlfriend's name wendy too?" he asked.
"dream on, mine say 'welcome to jamaica and have a nice day'".
two black guys from the city decide to go hunting out in the country.
they're out all day and haven't shot a thing so they are about to give up.
right about then they manage to shoot a
small furry animal with rings on its tail and what looks like a mask over
its eyes. well they've never seen such a creature so they decide to stop at
a farm house on the way back and ask
the people to identify it for them. when the door to the farm house is
opened there stands the farmers wife. the two black men ask "could you tell
us what we done shot?" to which the farmers wife replies "well that's a,
it's a, well you see it's what you folks call each other". the one black
turns to the other and says, "how 'bout that leroy, we done shot us a mother
fucker!!"
two black guys are in a hotel room, and the first one says, "hey man, let's
get a couple of white girls up here." the second one says, "are you crazy?
don't you know this is mississippi?"
and the first guy says, "yeah, so? i just want to fuck em not go to school
with em."
three south africans, two whites and a black, had just recieved their
sentences and were enroute to prison. they rode in silence for a while
until finaly one white addressed the other: "what did you do and what did
you get?" the second white answered: "killed a black man, got sentenced to 2
years, but considering the circumstances, i'll be out in a year. how about
you?" the first white responded: "killed a family of blacks, got sentenced
to five years, but considering the circumstances, i'll be out in about 2
years". they rode in silence until finaly one white turned to the black and
said "what did you do and what did you get?" the black
replied "i rode my bycycle without a headlight, got sentencedto 30 years,
but considering it was daylight, i hope to be out in 15 years."
what does this equation stand for?
1bm
--- - c = 3 now
1bw
1 black man over 1 black woman minus a condom equals 3 niggers on welfare.
Whats long and hard on a nigger?
The third grade.
Why do niggers have flat noses?
When they're born, the doctor slams them on the floor face down, puts
his foot on the back of their necks, and pulls the tail off.
Q: What's white, 8 feet long and wrapped round a lump of shit?
A: A turban.
How do you tell how many Pakistanis live in a town?
Count the windows of the cellars and multiply by 36.
what do u do if u run over a nigger??
reverse
how do u stop niggers from hanging round your house??
cut the ropes
how do u stop a nigger from going out??
pour more petrol on
Why can niggers fuck all night?
Because they don't have to get up the next morning and go to work!
One day Leroy, whose in the fourth grade, raises his hand and asks the
teacher if he can use the bathroom. While he's standing at the
urinal, two white boys in his class come in and start to relieve
themselves. Later, when he goes home he asks his mother, "Ma I went
to the bathroom at school today, and noticed that my peepee is a lot
bigger than the other boys in my class. Do you think it's 'cause I'm
black and they're white?" "No, Leroy", his mother replied, "I think
it's because your 19."
PUBLIC NOTICE
FISHING AND GAMING DEPARTMENT
SUBJECT: HUNTING SEASON
Be it known that due to the severe drought and fires this past season and
decreased animal population, the hunting of duck, quail, goat, kangaroo and
pig will be prohibited for the entire 1997/98 hunting season.
The minister has provided, by special decree, for a substitute species to be
hunted, so that no hunter will be disadvantaged or lose his skill during the
season.
Effective from the 1st July 1997 through to April 1998 there will be an open
season on Coons. Regionally know as: Boongs, Blacks, Spear Chuckers, Jungle
Bunnies, Spades, Spooks, Abbos or Flaggon Suckers.
The following regulations will be strictly enforced:-
It will be illegal to:-
(a) Hunt in parties of more than fifty (50) persons or use more than fifty
(50) dogs.
(b) Hunt in areas considered to be game reserves, ie Welfare Offices, Public
Bars, Welfare Offices, Used Care Lots, Welfare Offices, Town Gaols or
Welfare Offices.
Trapping Regulations
(a) Traps may not be set within fifty (50) feet of a fish and chip shop or a
Welfare Office.
(b) Traps are not to be baited with Fried Chicken, Fish and Chips, Bottles
of Port, Flagons of Muscat, Welfare Cheques, Sacred Burial Ground Location
Maps, Station Wagon Keys or Disigner Clothes from St Vincent De Paul
General
(a) It shall be illegal to pick up or possess Road Killed Coons.
(b) It shall be illegal to use amplified recordings to call Coons; (This
shall include Kevin Bloody Wilson recordings).
(c) DAILY LIMIT - 5 maximum, 20 in possession - this ensures a fair go for
all hunters.
To assist in the spotting of this elusive animal, the following hinnts may
assist. Look for:- Holden Station Wagons, Empty Flagons, Kentucky Fried
Chicken Containers, Empty Port Bottles and kicked in brick veneer welfare
houses.
PLEASE NOTE: BREACH OF ANY OR ALL OF THE ABOVE CONDITIONS WILL BE TOLERATED
IF REASONABLE EXCUSES ARE OFFERED
Preferred Customer wrote in message
<#xFtUuz6...@upnetnews02.moswest.msn.net>...
Twano
Graham
Preferred Customer wrote in message
Graham
Paul Cawood
No but I got a lot of Red Neck Jokes!
>You know yer a redneck when you find a car while moeing yer lawn.
>You know your a redneck when you have more than two baseball caps.
>You know yer a redneck when you find nigger jokes funny.
us...@msn.com
What's black and brown and looks good on a nigger?
A doberman pinscher!
What's black and white and rolls on the beach???
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a dead carp!!!
How do keep little nigger kids from jumping on the furniture?
Put velcro on the ceiling?
How do you get them back down??
Give the Mexican kid next door a stick and tell him it's a pinata!!
High Commander Cylar
> Graham wrote:
>
> >Al Sharpton, Jessie Jackson and Dennis Rodman.
>
> You forgot Eddie Murphy, Assenio Hall, Louis Farracoon (What's up with that
> bow-tie?), Michael Jackson, and Marion Barry.
Not to mention Willie Brown...mayor of San Francisco and former speaker of
the California state assembly.
Matt
------------------------------------------------------------------------
cy...@ecst.csuchico.edu http://www.ecst.csuchico.edu/~cylar
President - Chico State Chapter, Association of Computing Machinery
http://www.ecst.csuchico.edu/acmchico
Yuval Yaron
Twano wrote:
>
> are there any good niggers?????
>
Jamie Weiler
they finally found what causes sickel cell enimia
its from the glue on the back of food stamps
JEParham1
How do you say "Rodney King" in Spanish?
Pinata!
And now, for some tasty spammer bait:
postm...@fbi.gov
postm...@fcc.gov
pyr...@ftc.gov
net-...@nocs.insp.irs.gov
frau...@psinet.com
Member of P.A.S.S. (P.eople A.gainst S.tupid S.pammers)
CheechWizard
...why do niggers keep chickens??.....
...to teach their kids how to walk......
Filippo Dello
Q / How many ni**ers does it take to paint a wall ?
A / 3 if you throw em hard enough..
Twano wrote:
> are there any good niggers?????
>
> Preferred Customer <rval...@msn.com> wrote in article
Foxeye
fox...@mindspring.com wrote:
On this premis, then I would have to assume there are many more
rednecks out there than I had originally thought.
Paul Cawood <baz...@sfsu.edu> wrote:
<>No but I got a lot of Red Neck Jokes!
>>>>You call this a lot of jokes? Start laying them on us boy.....
<>
<>>You know yer a redneck when you find a car while moeing yer lawn.
<>
<>>You know your a redneck when you have more than two baseball caps.
<>
<>>You know yer a redneck when you find nigger jokes funny.
^^^^^^^^The nigger jokes are the high light lf my day^^^^^^^^^^^
redneck foxeye
Fox...@www.mindspring.com
By sending unsolicited commercially-oriented e-mail to this address, the
sender agrees to pay a $100 flat fee to the recipient for mail handling
services. Take the www out of address to send email.
And take U S Rockets out of the rocket business while your at it!
Boycott U S Rockets.......
AlanMonroe
How long does it take a black woman to have a shit? 9 months
Why are there nude pics of black women? So apes can masturbate too.
Why do dogs lick their balls? To get rid of the taste of NIGGER.
Why did the ape commit suicide? He heard he may be descended from blacks.
What's tatooed on the inside of a black's lips? Inflate to 100 Psi
Why don't black kids play in the sand box? The cats keep on trying to bury
them,
What do black kids use for play dough? Fresh dog shit.
What would you get if you crossed a black with a chimp? Nothing a chimp is too
smart to screw a black
or A retarded chimp.
What do you call a black millionaire physicist? Nigger
Why do blacks carry turds in their wallets? I.D.
What do you call sex with a black man? Rape.
What's the difference between a black and a pothole? You'd swerve to avoid a
pothole.
How do you make a nigger nervous? Take him to an auction.
What do you call a black hitchiker? Stranded
How do you keep blacks out of your back yard? Hang one in your front yard.
Why do blacks smell? So blind people can hate them too.
Why don't blacks put odour eaters in their shoes? It makes them disppear.
How do you get a black kid to have a shower? Open a fire hydrant and start
selling crack on the other side.
What do niggers say during foreplay? "If you scream you bitch, I'll kill you"
Sultan Gris
Nothing wrong with nigger jokes, unless u are a nigger.
Wm James
On Mon, 10 Nov 1997 21:28:41 -0500, JAM...@webtv.net (Jamie Weiler)
wrote:
>they finally found what causes sickel cell enimia
>its from the glue on the back of food stamps
That's ink. There is no glue on them.
JEParham1
Wm James wrote:
>>they finally found what causes sickel cell enimia
>>its from the glue on the back of food stamps
>
>
>That's ink. There is no glue on them.
Actually, the joke does say glue, not ink...... or at least, it did when I
first heard it 10 years or so ago......<Shrug>
For that matter, is there any ink on the back of food stamps??? I, being of
the fairer skin persuasion, have never had the opportunity to look at a food
stamp up close and personal-like.....
Maybe some fine print like: NOT FOR USE TO BUY ALCOHOL AND CIGARETTES!!! If
you want cigarettes and some Old English 500, buy a piece of gum, use one of
the $20 stamps to pay for it and then use the change to buy the liquor and
smokes.
Actually, now that I think about it, you can't even do that here anymore.....
they changed it over to a "Credit-card / Debit-card" setup...you don't get
change back...... finally the government did something right......
Of course though, there is a downside....
Lots of liquor stores have went out of business in the lower part of
town.......
SenRJG
>hat matter, is there any ink on the back of food stamps??? I, being of
> the fairer skin persuasion, have never had the opportunity to look at a food
> stamp up close and personal-like.....
>
>Maybe some fine print like: NOT FOR USE TO BUY ALCOHOL AND CIGARETTES!!! If
> you want cigarettes and some Old English 500, buy a piece of gum, use one of
> the $20 stamps to pay for it and then use the change to buy the liquor and
> smokes.
>
>Actually, now that I think about it, you can't even do that here anymore.....
> they changed it over to a "Credit-card / Debit-card" setup...you don't get
> change back...... finally the government did something right......
>
>
being that i have a shitty job of a grocery store cleck i know a bit about food
stamps if your interested.....come in demoninations of 1-5-10-20....not really
a stamp at all...slightly smaller than normal (us)currency printed on front
only in various color ink...only supposed to be used for food items only, no
cigs or alchohol.....as for the change say you buy a bannana for 16cents, pay
with a $20 food stamp, you get $19 worth of foodstamps back plus 84cents real
money....
Wm James
Back when I was doing the register jocky thing, you couldn't give
change for them at all. If they bought something for $3.50 and only
had a $5 handout note, they could either buy $1.50 more or accept
store credit for later purchase. It they went over the value to say
$5.10, they had to come up with 10 cents in cash or a $1 handout note.
Also they couldn't be used for bottle deposits, ice, and a few other
things as well.
Then they changed it to allow giving change and I saw a huge increase
in sales of 1 piece penny candy. Almost invariably the bums would
take the change and buy beer or cigs.
Your tax dollars at work!
William R. James