Things to say after you FART
Chris Abraham
hmmm
Chris Abraham | ch...@photo.com | Honolulu, HI
Owen Conway
Michael D Schutz <msc...@osf1.gmu.edu> wrote:
>
>"Another friggin hole in my pants to be stiched."
>(After a real hot one) "I don't know which smells worse--the fart or the
>charred ass hair."
When this thread came up before, some genius said something like:
'Fuck me, did you hear that spider bark?' -Anon source
made me chuckle for a while.
--
[owen conway]-[o...@vide.cov.ac.uk]----------------------------------------
Why dont we set up a tent and spend the night out there? And we could
pretend that we're somewhere foreign, but we'll still be able to use
the fridge if we get hungry... or too hot. (Pulp)
O-Aye
:
: John Stevens (John.S...@ncl.ac.uk) wrote:
: : My mate always goes "ooh, twist."
: : He won't explain what this means but it's got a good cult following.
: That's what my mate always says and now I find myself doing it as well.
: Can anybody explain where it comes from?
Yeah, thats what happens to your nostril hairs when you catch a whiff! ;)
--
--==**##> The Onion is our Friend <##**==--
onio...@Maestro.Com
Andrew Rakeman
quiet please, everybody freeze, dun duh duh duh duh dah pthpptppp
this one has inspired my mother to send a few mighty blows to my head and also
inspired great laughter in me and others when done properly.
andrew
Tim Gould
>Richard Parvey (hrpa...@delphi.com) wrote:
>: WITTY THINGS TO SAY AFTER YOU FART!!!!
>:
>I think I heard a barking frog!
The plane! The plane!
Steven Tegeler
What died inside of me!
Ajcpbk
Carl Rossi
gene.mc...@the-spa.com
What does a blind man say when he walks past the fish store ?
"Hi girls".
gene.mc...@the-spa.com
Another thing to say (when someone else farts).."did you get any on you ?"
gene.mc...@the-spa.com
Two guy's meet one day after not seeing each other for years.
The first guy say's "Remember how I used to be deaf and couldn't hear a fucking
thing ?. Well I got a new hearing aid and I can hear a leaf falling from a
tree, I can hear a birds wings when it flies ".
The second guy say's "That's great ! what kind is it ?"
The first guy looks at his watch and say's "It's 4:15".
Thomas Riha
>Elvis has left the building.
In some (wet) cases you could also add the line:
"Those are his footprints right there"
(Copyright: Mr. Frank Zappa)
bye
thomas
ri...@site46.ping.at
## CrossPoint v3.02 ##
Joe Kohn
WHO FARTED?
Susan Sterngold
been posted here before--thanks
Christopher M. Commini
1. Some asshole's talking behind your back
2. What'd that asshole say??
Chris
________________________
comm...@pt.cyanamid.com
First M. Lastname
Adam Felson
Mike Mayer
"Hmmm - do farts have lumps?"
--------------
To someone else who you heard fart:
"Oh really? No shit!"
-or-
"Can I have the big chunks?"
Mike
Joe Kohn
"I just heard a knock on the door. Who's there?"
Robin
I name that tune in One
Geez, someone died in there
You smelly git!
Don't light a match
It's not the smell I object to it's the taste!
don't rip it i'll take the lot
come here I have a present for you
=============================================================================
=Robin = ro...@necpe.demon.co.uk = HAM G1MHU@GB7PMB =
=============================================================================
Sir Lancelot
I hear some asshole is talking shit behind your back.
or..
Damn, those burping South American spiders.
(Sorry, I did not come up with that one)
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Matthew R. Hamilton |mham...@ksuvxb.kent.edu |Sigma Nu #590 |
| Physics/CS Major |mham...@Nimitzmcs.kent.edu |Zeta Gamma chapter |
| Kent State University |A.K.A. (The Lawnmowerman) |Solid as a ROCK |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
* http://nimitz.mcs.kent.edu/~mhamilto <------- My place in cyberspace *
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
+ "There is only one tactical principle which is not subject to change. +
+ It is to use the means at hand to inflict the maximum amount of wounds, +
+ death and destruction on the enemy in the minimum amount of time." +
+ General George S. Patton Jr. +
+ +
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
ulgal...@cc.memphis.edu
> What does a blind man say when he walks past the fish store ?
>
> "Hi girls".
*And even more jokes for the blind:
Leanne
@>--'--,--
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@ @ When you wonder why cats exist, think
@ Leanne Galbreath @ "rotten pistachio testers".
@ ULGAL...@cc.memphis.edu @
@ @>--'--,-- @ -Opus the Penguin
@ @ OUTLAND
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Odiferous Man
How about "Speak to me, oh toothless one!"
Mike McCullough
> > somebody step on a duck?
>
> How about "Speak to me, oh toothless one!"
How about one that my dad uses - he stands up and screams, "Where's the
frog, WHERE'S THE FROG!"
Michael Tanzer
too!'
--
+------------------------------+------------------------------------------+
| msta...@zikzak.apana.org.au | This box intentionally left blank. |
| Michael Tanzer | |
+------------------------------+------------------------------------------+
PTU1WA
"Ah, that's the mating call of the California brown-backed barking
spider..."
PTU
Kevin Andrews
There was a human resources director who had no ears. At the conclusion
of every job interview he conducted, he would test the sensitivity of the
applicant by asking if they noticed anything unusual about his appearance.
The first applicant was doing fine up to this point, but when asked, he
replied, "Yeah! You ain't got no fuckin' ears!"
The second applicant was doing well also, but when asked, replied, "Well,
you ain't got no fucking ears."
The third applicant seemed like a shoe-in, and when asked if he noticed
anything unusual about the interviewer, replied, "Well, I notice that
you're wearing contact lenses."
"Wow, that's amazing. How could you tell from over there?"
"Easy. If you had any fucking ears, you'd be wearing glasses."
Steve Price
: How about "Speak to me, oh toothless one!"
After a long ripper, how about 'A bit more choke and you will get that started'
Charles Trapp
ass and died.!"
This one is also good for winning gross-out contests.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Charles Trapp
Carleton University
Ottawa, Canada
The Wind Chill Factor
=====================
W(v,t) = 91.4 - (((10.45 + 6.68 * v^(1/2) - 0.447v) * (457 - 5t)) / 110)
t = Deg. Farenheit
v = Wind Velocity in mph.
Email address: ctr...@chat.carleton.ca
70031...@compuserve.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tryon W. Cote
Shane Stimson
Greetings from the interior!
Clotty Peristalt
--
Clotty Peristalt
". . . Loving all like friend and brother, hardly ever eat each other. . ."
Richard Green
ulgal...@cc.memphis.edu writes:
>
> *And even more jokes for the blind:
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
Excellent! About time we got some cool humour around here.
OBjoke:
A Jewish ransom note reads: "$10,000. For you - $5000"
(see what I mean?)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
%%&&&*&&&&&*&&&%% e-mail -|- Ric...@rikk.demon.co.uk
%%&& RICHY &&%% telephone -|- 0181-924 8743
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Claus Dehlsen
: How about
: Greetings from the interior!
Claus Dehlsen (gc94...@gbar.dtu.dk) :
: If you brake one dancing, say to your date (REAL loud):
"Just say that it was me."
Chris Woodward (PSY)
"Speak on, sweet lips that never told a lie!"
"Hope nobody's smoking here!"
--
[ Chris Woodard, M.A. ]
[ Anheuser-Busch Chair of Computational Theology ]
[ University of Ediacara ]
[ "Open-mindedness is not synonymous with blind gullibility." ]
Harry Conwi
Simon Clout
John Stevens (John.S...@ncl.ac.uk) wrote:
: My mate always goes "ooh, twist."
: He won't explain what this means but it's got a good cult following.
: I just go "AWOOOOOOOGA! AWOOOOOOGA! Clear the area!"
That's what my mate always says and now I find myself doing it as well.
Can anybody explain where it comes from?
Simon.
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Simon Clout, Network Technician, The Computing Service, University of Sussex
email: S.C...@central.susx.ac.uk ********* Voice: (01273) 678090 extn 2975
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Donald Webster
" I'll name that tune in one!"
--
Donald Webster
DONOVAN TRAYNOR JOSEPH
After a second fart "Damn, there's my dog!"
The DEf One, TRAY
Unknown
al...@spiral.org (Dave Alexander) writes:
>
> Just look around and say under your breath: "Goddamned bullfrogs."
> ---
or say "Damn barking spiders!"
Debra (trying not to get run over on the information superhighway)
Claus-Walker
Opinions expressed here are my own (no one else here would claim them)
debra.gas.uug.arizona.edu
Craig Dolnick
Craig Dolnick
Terhune
--
"Elvis isn't dead, he's just animately challenged"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
James Terhune
q8...@jupiter.sun.csd.unb.ca
q8...@acad1.unbsj.ca
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Finger my Jupiter account for my PGP key.
e...@dud.rau.ac.za
>
>Just look around and say under your breath: "Goddamned bullfrogs."
>---
Oh SPEAK oh TOOTHLESS ONE!
18pv...@spirit-lake.k12.ia.us
> >Richard Parvey (hrpa...@delphi.com) wrote:
> >: WITTY THINGS TO SAY AFTER YOU FART!!!!
> >:
> >I think I heard a barking frog!
>
> The plane! The plane!
that one is gonna itch when it dries
bemsol...@gmail.com
that's a set of slap ass happy cheeks
sometimes things just escape me
it was good 4 me how was it for you ?
that had to come from Mikey he hates everything
moving on shall we!
down dino down
singing to only you and you alone by the Platters only you can make this room seem small only you
bemsol...@gmail.com
αΉα΄
<apply double meaning>
weehappy...@gmail.com
oooo that was a big one
i feel it brewing and its brewing fast
here it comes
suck it all in
well im proud of that on ooo...and this one
that felt so good
juicey
oh that was a wet one
αΉα΄
kjkoko...@gmail.com
> >Richard Parvey (hrpa...@delphi.com) wrote:
> >: WITTY THINGS TO SAY AFTER YOU FART!!!!
> >:
> >I think I heard a barking frog!
>
> The plane! The plane!
cjfis...@gmail.com
αΉα΄
spang...@gmail.com
wyse_...@strykerpanthers.net
there must be a wizard in here making noise
addie.tu...@kenstonapps.org
> >Richard Parvey (hrpa...@delphi.com) wrote:
> >: WITTY THINGS TO SAY AFTER YOU FART!!!!
> >:
> >I think I heard a barking frog!
>
> The plane! The plane!
--
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deeza...@gmail.com
> >Richard Parvey (hrpa...@delphi.com) wrote:
> >: WITTY THINGS TO SAY AFTER YOU FART!!!!
> >:
> >I think I heard a barking frog!
>
> The plane! The plane!
myrton...@gmail.com
scot...@gmail.com
> >Richard Parvey (hrpa...@delphi.com) wrote:
> >: WITTY THINGS TO SAY AFTER YOU FART!!!!
> >:
> >I think I heard a barking frog!
>
> The plane! The plane!
