Funny Phone Sayings
Anarchy
What would be some good answers to say on the phone?
I'll start it off... "Hello, city morgue..."
Tell me some good ones!
Rene Ramos
I'll get the ball rolling with the classics:
City Morgue:
You stab 'em, we slab 'em.
You kill 'em, we chill 'em.
You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em.
Nicole
In article <345DB4...@alphalink.com.au>,
Anarchy <hipl...@alphalink.com.au> wrote:
>What would be some good answers to say on the phone?
>I'll start it off... "Hello, city morgue..."
>Tell me some good ones!
Here's one a friend of mine a few years back came up with...
"Hello, Sherwood forest...Maid Marion speaking"
Nicole
CheechWizard
>Here's one a friend of mine a few years back came up with...
>"Hello, Sherwood forest...Maid Marion speaking"
..howz 'bout: 'hello mabels whorehouse, where
the customer always comes first'.........................
Gernot Lachner
> What would be some good answers to say on the phone?
> I'll start it off... "Hello, city morgue..."
> Tell me some good ones!
.. you stiff 'em we stuff 'em -
do a search on the subject, the thread was recently sucked dry
..
--
the BAT ~..~
Amanda Joann Huffman
Bob's 24 hour whore house....
(your last name)'s morgue, you stab 'em we slab 'em, got a new one?
Moore's Bar...
Your dime, my time spill it...
Speak....
You called me, now start talking...
FLETCH
CheechWizard wrote:
>
> >Here's one a friend of mine a few years back came up with...
> >"Hello, Sherwood forest...Maid Marion speaking"
>
I read this on somebody's sig file a while back,
Incontenance hot line, could you please hold!
FLETCH
--
Note: to reply by e-mail, remove " .nospam " from my
address. FLETCH
Baldy
In article <345E90...@bbc.nospam.net>, ace...@bbc.nospam.net wrote:
>CheechWizard wrote:
>>
>> >Here's one a friend of mine a few years back came up with...
>> >"Hello, Sherwood forest...Maid Marion speaking"
>>
>
>I read this on somebody's sig file a while back,
>
>Incontenance hot line, could you please hold!
>
Thank you for calling the alzeheimer's research uumm, uhhh
bre...@cyberhighway.com
Paul J. Higginbotham II wrote:
>
> "Bob's abortionists, you rape 'em, we scrape 'em"
"Joe's Whorehouse, where the customer comes first"
Frank E. Friedman
CheechWizard <loc...@a.titty.bar> wrote in article
<63l6qs$3...@hermes.acs.unt.edu>...
> >Here's one a friend of mine a few years back came up with...
> >"Hello, Sherwood forest...Maid Marion speaking"
>
> the customer always comes first'.........................
>
And for the Star Trek fans....
Enterprise... Kirk here
carman ryan elijah
Trajectory Sperm Bank, you squirt 'em we insert 'em.
A
Richard Sparrow
Hello, I'd like to order a pepperoni pizza please.
(this blows people's minds)
Hello, Netherhells day care center, you breed 'em, we lead 'em.
Hi, Lisi and Tara's Amputation clinic and bakery. We have a special
today on ladyfingers.
Angel
Necromancer
These are actually in daily use by our Student Club:
Hello, wrong number!
Hello, Vulcan Central Command!
Hello, Altar of Sin!
Hello, House of Satan, Lucifer speaking!
Speak!
and my own,
Hello, House of Evil!
It gets interesting when people's parents call :)
---
jOANNE wOJTYSIAK joa...@cs.ualberta.ca
nECROMANCER
You don't take LSD to expand your consciousness.
You take it to turn your toaster into a home entertainment centre.
patrick kelly
Hello, County Abortion Clinic, you rape 'em, we scrap 'em, no fetus can
beat us
Richard Sparrow <rspa...@ipa.net> wrote in article
<346223...@ipa.net>...
> carman ryan elijah wrote:
> >
> > Trajectory Sperm Bank, you squirt 'em we insert 'em.
> >
> > On Mon, 3 Nov 1997, Anarchy wrote:<snip>
Brian Nixon
How 'bout "Kelly's Pool Hall. Who in the hall do ya want?"
Or "Wolf's Abortion Clinic. YOu rape 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us!"
or "House of Lords; God speaking..."
Dargaud Guillaume
Anarchy wrote:
> What would be some good answers to say on the phone?
> I'll start it off... "Hello, city morgue..."
In French (but you might get it):
answer the phone saying: "- Sardine !"
caller: "Allo ???"
"Mais non, à l'huile..."
OK, not really tasteless...
---------------------------------
Guillaume "Kill Your TV" Dargaud
http://sung3.ifsi.rm.cnr.it/~dargaud/Humor/QuotesSexual.html#Sex
"The pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous and the expense
damnable." — Earl of Chesterfield about sex
Bobby Killsmith
Abortion clinic...you rape'em, we scrape'em.
> Hello city pound...you tag them or we snag them...
>
> Hello Jakes Bird Santuary...they tweet or their meat...
>
>
> On Thu, 6 Nov 1997, Richard Sparrow wrote:
>
CdBd3rd
> > What would be some good answers to say on the phone?
"Suicide hotline - hold please..."
--
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[Devo] Remembers F.o.C. on 8-Track!
[G.W.] REVEL IN THE DIVINE RADIANT GLORY !!!
[Gary] CdB...@Worldnet.ATT.Net
http://home.att.net/~cdbd3rd/home.html
Jeff Mulvaney
>What would be some good answers to say on the phone?
>I'll start it off... "Hello, city morgue..."
>Tell me some good ones.
Instead of saying hello ask for a person. Usually the person calling me will
tell me that i have a wrong number and then hang up. A few minutes later they
call back rather annoyed with me. You can have so much fun with peoples heads.
It's lotsa fun.
Jeff
some...@cyberhighway.com
> >What would be some good answers to say on the phone?
> >I'll start it off... "Hello, city morgue..."
> >Tell me some good ones.
Answer the phone in your best "Phony FM DJ Voice" and say "Congratulations,
you're our 10th caller! Now for $1000 tell me who plays the best rock in <your
city> ?!" If they even attempt to guess an answer, tell them they're wrong and
hang up on them.
Skip
--
Joe's Whorehouse, where it's a business to do pleasure
with you.
NOSPAMd...@iwaynet.net
Dave's Coffin Company. You just ask it; we've got the casket......
Lark
Gernot Lachner <glac...@iafrica.com> wrote in article
<N.110397....@196-31-20-161.iafrica.com>...
>
> > What would be some good answers to say on the phone?
> > I'll start it off... "Hello, city morgue..."
> > Tell me some good ones!
>
> .. you stiff 'em we stuff 'em -
>
>
... you stab'em we slab 'em
or "Hello, City Crematorium, you kill 'em we grill 'em"
pedroman
The one that I always use is
Mac's Massage, we get paid, you get laid, may I help you?
FYI, massage parlors on Guam are our local whore houses.
Pedro
Anarchy <hipl...@alphalink.com.au> wrote:
>What would be some good answers to say on the phone?
>I'll start it off... "Hello, city morgue..."
>Tell me some good ones!
NOSPAMming in effect in email address.
Wanna send me something, don't use SPAM
Come and check out the I Don't Know Lounge at
www.geocities.com/NapaValley/6899/idkbar.html
Matthew Joseff
CIA/FBI Langley speaking.
(or just immitate your answering machine, then say "beeeeeep", and wait).
Anthony & Stacey Rosner
Funeral Parlor: "Steven's Mortuary... You kill em' we chill em'"
"Steven's Mortuary.... You stab em' we slab em'"
a.j.
Macgregor Greer
G'day,
Kelly's woodyard...........
want a root?
Metaphysical Graffiti
How about: Pillsbury's Crematorium, nothing says lovin' like putting
them in the oven.
yield unto temptation, it may not pass your way again
In article <63lom8$j...@internal.sa.gov.au>, "Mike Dunn" <md...@dasc.sa.gov.au> writes:
> Anarchy wrote in message <345DB4...@alphalink.com.au>...
>>What would be some good answers to say on the phone?
>>I'll start it off... "Hello, city morgue..."
>>Tell me some good ones!
>
>
> or
>
> Hello, city morgue.....would you like to speak to someBODY?
>
>
I always liked:
County Abortion Clinic...you rape 'em, we scrape 'em.
liana
Dennis P. Bjork
On Sat, 8 Nov 1997 some...@cyberhighway.com wrote:
> > >What would be some good answers to say on the phone?
> > >I'll start it off... "Hello, city morgue..."
> > >Tell me some good ones.
>
> Answer the phone in your best "Phony FM DJ Voice" and say "Congratulations,
> you're our 10th caller! Now for $1000 tell me who plays the best rock in <your
> city> ?!" If they even attempt to guess an answer, tell them they're wrong and
> hang up on them.
>
Crisis Center...please hold!...your call is important to us,
please continue to hold...etc
Fartman
THE BIG PIG
Another one I learned during a distressing period when we were receiving
harassing telephone calls.
When the phone rings. pick it up but wait for the other party to speak
first. Not only is it a good way to deal with unwanted callers, but it's
interesting the reactions you get.
David
PHOENIX
Joe's Morgue...
you stab 'em, we slab 'em
you slice 'em, we ice 'em
you kill 'em, we chill 'em
you burn 'em, we urn 'em
you whack 'em, we pack 'em
... what can we do for you today?
phoenix
Unleash the DOGS to respond to email
Stinkyy
PHOENIX wrote in message <346A86AC...@earthlink.net>...
Joe Bob's Movers
You Call We Haul
If We can't Truck it
Fuck it.