Cat jokes
jayben
I am looking for sick cat jokes. I only have a few, and am trying to
get a collection. Please send any to J...@accessatlanta.com.
If you throw a cat out of a car window do you have kitty litter?
Susie, I hate to tell you this but the cat died and and is now in heaven
with God.
Mommy, what would God want with a dead cat.
Lincoln F Stern
Oh, I have tried with knife and clippers
Sickle, sword, and baseball bat;
With hammer, hatchet, scissors, shears,
Electric razors, chisels, spears,
And I can tell you this, my dears,
There's just one way to skin a cat.
-Shel Silverstein
jayben <j...@accessatlanta.com> wrote in article
<335766...@accessatlanta.com>...
Jeremy H. Campbell
>jayben <j...@accessatlanta.com> wrote:
>I am looking for sick cat jokes. I only have a few, and am trying to
>get a collection. Please send any to J...@accessatlanta.com.
When my cat had kittens, my daddy made me come down to
the lake as we disposed of them. I was so sad...couldn't get the
little buggers to skip more than twice!
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!
Jeremy
Mad Hatter
Q:How do you make a dog meow?
A:You run him through with an electric saw, and the sound comes out
like: 'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuu.
Q:How do you make a cat bark?
A:dip him in feul and hold him over a fire. Then lower him till he goes:
WOOF!
--
I haven't lost my mind - It's backed up on tape somewhere...
steve
jayben <j...@accessatlanta.com> was, like, :
->If you throw a cat out of a car window do you have kitty litter?
->
->Susie, I hate to tell you this but the cat died and and is now in heaven
->with God.
->Mommy, what would God want with a dead cat?
I had a cat once. Tasted like chicken.
Man: I just got my new piano today.
Friend: How did you get your new piano up to your apartment?
Man: Used my cat.
Friend: How did you use your CAT to get that piano up all those
stairs?!
Man: Used a whip.
Little Boy talking to priest:
L.B. "Father, what's that?"
Priest: "Why it's Holy Water, son. And if you put it on a pregnant
woman's belly, she'll pass a baby boy."
L.B. "Aaawwww, that's nothin... if you put turpentine on a cat's ass,
he'll pass a motorcycle!"
Enjoy!
I added an extra "x" to my address to foil the spamsters. YOU
figure it out...
Your Name
How do you turn a cat into a dog?
Pour gasoline on it, put a match to it and watch it go WOOOF!!
Mike Schiraldi
>How do you turn a cat into a dog?
>
>Pour gasoline on it, put a match to it and watch it go WOOOF!!
How do you turn a dog into a cat?
Dip him in liquid nitrogen and get a buzzsaw: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOW!
Aussie
Your Name wrote in article <346AAD...@domain.com>...
>How do you turn a cat into a dog?
>
>Pour gasoline on it, put a match to it and watch it go WOOOF!!
>
How do you turn a dog into a cat?
Take it up to 10,000 feet in a plane .. push it out and it'll go
"Meeeeeooooooow"
Mark Vliegenthart
Shouldn't it be:
You put the dog in a fridge, after a day saw it with an electrical saw:
MEOOOWWWWW!!
Aussie <nospa...@multiline.com.au> wrote in article
<5ks5i1$9...@multi.multiline.com.au>...
Clive Jones
In article <01bc7001$f596a4e0$2b000001@prsmplir>, Iain Shand
<ia...@shand.prestel.co.uk> writes
>Q. How do you make a cat go Woof
>
>A. Cover it in petrol, take a match to it and Woof!
>
>
>
>Richard LeBreton wrote
>Q: How do you make your dog go "Meow"?
>
>A: Stick it in a freezer until it is frozen and take a chainsaw to
>it...MEEEEEOOWWWWW!!
>
>
Q: What's got three legs and goes WOOF!
A: Piper Alpha
(It WAS an oil rig in the North Sea that burst into flames for those who
don't remember).
Clive
Iain Shand
H Fine
How do you make a dog go meowwwwww?
tie it to the back of a fast car.
kcra...@gmail.com
> I am looking for sick cat jokes. I only have a few, and am trying to
> get a collection. Please send any to J...@accessatlanta.com.
>
>
>
> Mommy, what would God want with a dead cat.