hey i wannna hear some italian jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
La Mega NY
hey i wanna hear some italian jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fernando Ortiz
Who shot Mussolini?
1000 Italian sharpshooters.
La Mega NY <lame...@aol.com> wrote in article
<19980127051...@ladder01.news.aol.com>...
Gram
La Mega NY <lame...@aol.com> wrote in article
<19980127051...@ladder01.news.aol.com>...
> hey i wanna hear some italian jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
You know they won't be funny unless you actually speak Italian........
Jandro
Fernando Ortiz wrote:
>
> Who shot Mussolini?
>
> 1000 Italian sharpshooters.
>
> <19980127051...@ladder01.news.aol.com>...
> > hey i wanna hear some italian jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> >
> >
q What do you get when you cross an Italian with an ape?
a A moron wearing a fur coat.
q How do the French lubricate their cars?
a The run over an Italian.
What is a specimen? an Italian astronaut
What is an innuendo? an Italian suppository
You hear about the wop that was so dumb that he thought GENITALIA was
the national airline of Italy?
Phantam 12
What's the difference between a Hippo and an Italian Mother-in-law?
50 pounds and a black dress
--
"The probelm with too many people is that they are educated beyond their
intelligence"
Michael Barnes
Q: Why is Italy shaped like a boot?
A: You can't get that much shit in a shoe.
sandgroper
Cloud Hopper
Why don't Italians like helicopters?
The big blade goes A Wop A Wop A Wop
The little blade goes A Guinny guinny guinny
Gram wrote in message <01bd2b2c$ca789f20$2017...@surfsouth.com>...
>La Mega NY <lame...@aol.com> wrote in article
><19980127051...@ladder01.news.aol.com>...
>> hey i wanna hear some italian jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
>
Sabre Man
why is italy shaped like a boot?
because they couldn't fit all that shit into a sneaker.
why did the italian pick his nose apart?
to see what made it run.
what's the difference between an italian and a bucket of shit?
the bucket.
how do you make an italian?
put a nigger in one hand and a jew in the other and slam them together.
how can you recognize an italian airline?
the planes have hair under their wings.
why can't italians take showers?
because oil and water don't mix.
what happened after the italian cleaned his ears out?
his head caved in.
how do you get an italian girl pregnant?
cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
the definition of a cad?
an italian who doesn't tell his wife he's sterile until she's pregnant.
what do you call an italian with an iq of 150?
sicily.
why don't italians have freckles?
because they slide off.
the easiest way to kill an italian?
smash the toilet seat down on his head while he's getting a drink.
how do you brainwash an italian?
give him an enema.
how do you get an italian out of the bathtub?
turn on the water.
why do italians always wear hats?
so they can remember which end to wipe.
what's red, green, purple, blue, yellow and orange?
an italian all dressed up.
what do you call an italian who marries a nigger?
a social climber.
Q: Why do Italians wear gold chains?
A: To remind them where to stop shaving.
the definition of a maniac?
an italian in a cathouse with a credit card.
why do italian men have mustaches?
so they can look like their mothers.
what's italian foreplay?
to answer, snap your fingers and point at a crotch.
why are christmas tree lights called italian lights?
because theya notta so bright.
how do you train italians to be soldiers?
easy, just tell them to hold up their hands.
another name for an italian hooker?
a pizza ass.
how does an italian count his goats?
he just counts the legs, and divides by four.
Why are so many Italian men named Tony?
Answer: When their fathers shipped them to this country, they stamped
their foreheads: TO NY.
Military Latin Motos
If the enemy is in range, so are you.
Si hostes visibilis, etiam tu.
Incoming fire has the right of way
Missiles invenientes semper potestatem viae habent
Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire
Noli eminere, catapultas allicies
There is always a way
Putamus viam semper esse
The easy way is always mined
Via perfacilis laqueis semper plena
Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo
Conare nullius momenti videri fortasse missilibus careant
Professionals are predictable, it is the amateurs who are dangerous
Peritissimos semper praevidere possumus, rudi autem periculosi sunt
The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: (a) when you are ready for
them, (b) when you are not ready for them
Duobus temporibus oppugnant hostes: cum parati estis, et cum imparati estis
Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at
Collaboratio maximi momenti est, quia eis alterum scopum praebet
If you can't remember, the claymore is always pointed at you
Si id memini non potes, scutula dirumpens semper at te collineata est
The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack
Negligentia hostium quam non coluistis primus impetus erit
A sucking chest wound is nature's way of telling you to slow down
Vulnus pectoris sugens ne properetis mos naturae dicendi est
If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush
Si impetus bene it, in laqueum incessistis
Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you
Numquam catapultas allice, iram omnium concitabis
Anything you can do can get you shot, including nothing
Ex quocumque facere poteris te sauciabit, nihilo comprehenso
Make it tough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out
Si hostibus difficile incedere facias tu quoque male extricabis
Never share a foxhole with one braver than yourself
Numquam fossam compartire cum viro tibi fortiore
If you are short of anything but the enemy you are in a combat zone
Si nihilo carueris nisi hostibus loco pugnae es
When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy
Si locum inexpugnabilis facias, memento hostibus de hoc profiteri
Never forget your weapon is made by the lowest bidder
Numquam obliviscaris tua tela facta ab eis qui minima liciti sunt
La Mega NY wrote in message
FylShearer
why is italy shaped like a boot?
because they couldn't fit all that shit into a sneaker.
why did the italian pick his nose apart?
to see what made it run.
what's the difference between an italian and a bucket of shit?
the bucket.
how do you make an italian?
put a nigger in one hand and a jew in the other and slam them together.
how can you recognize an italian airline?
the planes have hair under their wings.
why can't italians take showers?
because oil and water don't mix.
what happened after the italian cleaned his ears out?
his head caved in.
the definition of a cad?
an italian who doesn't tell his wife he's sterile until she's pregnant.
what do you call an italian with an iq of 150?
sicily.
why don't italians have freckles?
because they slide off.
the easiest way to kill an italian?
smash the toilet seat down on his head while he's getting a drink.
how do you brainwash an italian?
give him an enema.
how do you get an italian out of the bathtub?
turn on the water.
why do italians always wear hats?
so they can remember which end to wipe.
what's red, green, purple, blue, yellow and orange?
an italian all dressed up.
what do you call an italian who marries a nigger?
a social climber.
Why do Italians wear gold chains?
To remind them where to stop shaving.
the definition of a maniac?
an italian in a whorehouse with a credit card.
why do italian men have moustaches?
so they can look like their mothers.
what's italian foreplay?
to answer, snap your fingers and point at a crotch.
why are christmas tree lights called italian lights?
because theya notta so bright.
how do you train italians to be soldiers?
easy, just tell them to hold up their hands.
another name for an italian hooker?
a pizza ass.
how does an italian count his goats?
he just counts the legs, and divides by four.
Why are so many Italian men named Tony?
Answer: When their fathers shipped them to America, they stamped their
Jandro
What happens to an Italian who walks into a wall with a raging hardon?
He breaks his nose.
flashman
Why are so many italians named Tony??
Because when they were coming over in steerage on the transatlantic
steamers earlier in the century the had To N.Y. stamped on their foreheads.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
During WW II, a german & italian general were conferring in a bunker
over some maps, plans, etc. When the meeting ended the german directed his
aide to fetch his uniform jacket. The italian was astounded when he returned
because the jacket was a brilliant red; "how can you wear that; you would be
ready target for the enemy?" he asked.
"Well, says the german i wear red so if i am wounded,the red color will hide
the blood stains & I can still lead my men effectively without them being
scared."
The italian ponders this for a moment & then turns to his aide saying "Luigi,
getta my brown trousers!"
End Aparthied in Palestin
Keith Ehrle
On Mon, 02 Feb 1998 13:03:15 GMT, flashman <tony...@ix.netcom.com>
wrote:
>End Aparthied in Palestin
Kill Palestinians.
--
Keith E.
Me transmitte sursum, Caledoni
Josef.xx
US Jet plane crashes into cable car!
Josef.xx
Mags Forever!!
CheechWizard
kill italians...........................
Blob
Clearly a case of human error! They should check the cable car
operator's blood tissues for traces of drugs! I think they scraped some
off the aircraft...
--
A lost battle is a battle one thinks one has lost.
-Ferdinand Foch (Principles de Guerre)
Keith Ehrle
On Wed, 04 Feb 1998 20:41:41 GMT, "Josef.xx"
<joa...@josef.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>US Jet plane crashes into cable car!
>
Good shot!!!!
William Mack
In article <621891...@josef.demon.co.uk>, "Josef.xx"
<joa...@josef.demon.co.uk> writes
>US Jet plane crashes into cable car!
>
>
>Mags Forever!!
>
>
Now thats what I call funny! ;-)
--
William Mack
The Whiter Side
Jandro wrote:
> What happens to an Italian who walks into a wall with a raging hardon?
>
> He breaks his nose.
Q: How do you get an Itailian woman pregnant?
A: Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.......
M. Baker
How come Jesus wasn't born in Italy?
They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.
Mummbles
Why is Italy shaped like a boot??
They couldn't fit that much shit in a sneaker........
--
Mummbles...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When replying, please remove the .nospam from the address.
Thought for the Day:
Blessed are the censors, for they shall inhibit the Earth.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
M. Baker wrote in message <6bputj$n...@camel12.mindspring.com>...
no....@no.where.it
On Thu, 05 Feb 1998 03:58:48 GMT, kei...@bigfoot.com (Keith Ehrle)
wrote:
>On Wed, 04 Feb 1998 20:41:41 GMT, "Josef.xx"
><joa...@josef.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
>>US Jet plane crashes into cable car!
>>
>
>Good shot!!!!
>
Good job (not shot) you mean??
Since the pilot of U.S. aircraft at the moment of the accident was
having a blowjob done by the co-pilot while thinking how his mom make
it better (bob too knows ).
Keith Ehrle
On Mon, 23 Feb 1998 07:53:08 GMT, no....@no.where.it wrote:
>On Thu, 05 Feb 1998 03:58:48 GMT, kei...@bigfoot.com (Keith Ehrle)
>wrote:
>
>>On Wed, 04 Feb 1998 20:41:41 GMT, "Josef.xx"
>><joa...@josef.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>>
>>>US Jet plane crashes into cable car!
>>>
>>
>>Good shot!!!!
>>
>Good job (not shot) you mean??
>
>Since the pilot of U.S. aircraft at the moment of the accident was
>having a blowjob done by the co-pilot while thinking how his mom make
>it better (bob too knows ).
No... I meant he hit what he was aiming at.
--
Keith E.
Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes.
chocol...@gmail.com
> hey i wanna hear some italian jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just look at their face. Their face look's similar to an ass.
Ṃᴆ
crushed in an hydraulic press?
angels...@gmail.com
> hey i wanna hear some italian jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!
Douglas D. Anderson
wrote:
>On Tuesday, January 27, 1998 at 12:00:00 AM UTC-8, La Mega NY wrote:
>> hey i wanna hear some italian jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>
>What I see here are not jokes, they are insults
In any case, if you want to read this out loud or have someone do this
or you can hear it:
Italian bricklayer in Rome- "My Grandfather laid bricks all his life,
my Father laid bricks all his life, now I lay bricks... and we still
don't have a house!"