irish jokes
SEBASTIAN ADAMS
hast...@newton.ccs.tuns.ca "Andrew Hastings" writes:
> what do you call 2 gay irishmen?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> patrick fitzgerald and geralk fitzpatrick
>
> what do you call an irishman who sleeps on the porch all night?
>
>
>
>
> Patty O'Furniture
>
what does it say on the bottom of an irish milk bottle ?
open the other end....
--
SEBASTIAN ADAMS
Jim Ruderer
He drank straight from the bottle.
Mark John Milton
: In article <3hv2gg$d...@ixnews3.ix.netcom.com>, boyw...@ix.netcom.com (Jim Ruderer) writes:
: > What happened when the Irishman couldn't find his glasses?
: >
: > He drank straight from the bottle.
: Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
: Theres one less drunk at an Irish funeral.
An Irishman won 18 million on the National Lottery. The
Lottery company goes up to him and tells him that they can't afford
to give him all the cash at once, they give him 10 million this week
and 8 million next week. The Irishman says 'bugger that give me my pound back.'
Linda Ball
> what do you call 2 gay irishmen?
> patrick fitzgerald and geralk fitzpatrick
>
> what do you call an irishman who sleeps on the porch all night?
> Patty O'Furniture
Why is irish toilet paper 2 miles long?
Because there's one and a half miles of instructions
Heard the one about the Irishman who played marbles in the gutter?
He fell off the roof
Heard the one about the Irishman who threw a stone at the floor?
He missed
Or about the Irishman who missed the number 412 bus?
He took two 206's.
What do you call an irishman with a wheelbarrow?
A mechanic
Irish parachute
Opens on impact
Heard about the Irishman who bought himself a gundog
He broke it's back trying to load it
Keep those laughs coming!
Linda
Stuart Aspinall
ljb...@bioc.cam.ac.uk (Linda Ball) writes:
> Heard about the Irishman who bought himself a gundog
> He broke it's back trying to load it
>
>
>
> Keep those laughs coming!
>
> Linda
>
>
How about the Irishman who won the Marathon...
He did a lap of honour!
Jonathan Short
: > what do you call 2 gay irishmen?
:
: Keep those laughs coming!
: Linda
:
What about the two irishmen that sat on the floor
One fell off.
Or the irishmen that opened a paper shop?
it blew away.
--
******************************************************************
* Jon Short. * Hills are only as steep as *
* * you want them to be. *
* tl...@central.susx.ac.uk * ---- Mint Sauce *
******************************************************************
CAWhelchel
writes:
>
>
What is the Irish maidens prayer?
Oh Lord, please have Murphy on me tonight... *smile*
Cheryl
--
2400 SUCKS!!! V. Bis & Baudhead
Euph...@ix.netcom.com
Now using View-Master Technology with enhancements by Etch-A-Sketch
JOHN REYNOLDS
This one is true, honest.
I work in a theatre behind the bar and I over heard two Irish sitting in
the bar men say this.
1st Irish man. "So, where are you sitting then?"
2nd Irish man, "Here"
**************************************************************************
End of passion play Honesty is My only excuse...
Crumbling away
I'm your source of self destruction
Master Of Puppets Damage Inc.
**************************************************************************
Chris Chung
What do you call a Irish man after 10 beers?
Sober.
Rachael D Forsythe
How do you kill an irish man?
When he is getting a drink of water, you slam the toilet seat down on his
head.
Greg
M.J.H. White
>Subject: Re: irish jokes
>Date: 20 Feb 1995 21:29:40 GMT
>
> Keep those laughs coming!
> Linda
>> Did you hear about the Irishman who broke his arm raking leaves?
>> He fel out of the tree.
-Chalky
Wright P
>Linda Ball (ljb...@bioc.cam.ac.uk) wrote:
>
>: > what do you call 2 gay irishmen?
>: > patrick fitzgerald and geralk fitzpatrick
>: >
>: > what do you call an irishman who sleeps on the porch all night?
>: > Patty O'Furniture
>
>
>: Why is irish toilet paper 2 miles long?
>: Because there's one and a half miles of instructions
Or the Irishman who failed his driving test?
He opened the door to let the clutch out.
C:WINDNETKA9QSPOOLMAIL
Hear about the Irishman who ironed his curtains ?
He fell out of the window!
Irish dog, eating a bone...
It stood up and it had only three legs.
Irishman won the lottery. He won 20 Million !!
He went to collect his winnings, but he was told that the lottery was
short of money this week so would he accept 2 Million per week for
10 weeks?
The Irishman said "Fuck off you're not mucking me about. Give me my
Pound and my lottery ticket back".
Irishman broke into a betting shop and lost 10 quid!
TAF!
--------------------------------+-----------------------------+
AndyC [Praxis] | Flames > /usr/bin |
an...@praxiss.demon.co.uk | Adverts > /dev/nl |
10026...@compuserve.com | NiceMail > /usr/lib/fanclub |
--------------------------------------------------------------+
Yagandharen Dharmalingam
Their names were Ben Doone and Phil McAvity!
Liam McGuinness
>
> Did you hear about the two gay Irish men?
> Their names were Ben Doone and Phil McAvity!
>
are in fact Ben M'Doon and Phil McAvity and they are Scottish!
The Irish gays are Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael!
objoke:
Why do women have two holes so close together?
So you can carry them home like a six pack.
Yes I know it's old.
John Galvin
What's the definition of a queer Irishman? A man who prefers
women to Guinness.
An Irishman is a complex biological organism designed to turn
Guinness into urine...
Which as a Murphy's drinker will tell you is a superfluous
excercise.
Two brothers, Pat & Mike won $10m in the Lottery. Pat says to
Mike "What will we do about the begging letters?" "Keep
sending them out" says Mike.
And *I'm* Irish, Sheesh.
John Galvin