[Alt.Tasteless.Jokes FAQ]

[Douglas D. Anderson]

[Alt.Tasteless.Jokes FAQ]
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Version 10.1.2

Posting Frequency: Every Week, more or less.
Last-modified: February 8, 2020
Maintained by Douglas D. Anderson (douganderson1981.gmail.com)
Formerly by Raymond Jensen (r...@andrew.spam.me.not.cmu.edu)
and before that by Jeroen van Kessel (jvke...@knoware.NOSPAM.nl,
and before that, Dave Pease (dpe...@c-prompt-sd.com)
HTML by Steven Willoughby (ora...@synapse.net)

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1. Introduction

Greetings and welcome to what used to be the funniest place on the
Internet. Unfortunately, through lack of proper use atj is not what
it used to be.

Please read this FAQ if you are a newcomer to the group or if you
think it's okay to flame (racists, England, Minnesota, USA, Hillary
Clinton, Colin Kaepernick, etc.) without writing a joke.

If you don't feel like reading this entire FAQ, please remember the
following 2 rules:

DON'T POST TO THE NEWSGROUP WITHOUT INCLUDING A JOKE
DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU

As long as you always abide by this, and others do the same, this
newsgroup will be a much more rewarding endeavor for everyone.

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2. Table of Contents

1. Introduction

2. Table of Contents

3. Safe Use of atj - a note for newbies

4. Frequently Asked Questions

5. Other resources

6. Good Advice

7. Conclusion

8. objoke

9. Join the fray...

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3. Safe Use of atj - a note for newbies

So you are a new participant in this newsgroup, eh? Well, I hope you
have your asbestos suit handy--because, regardless of what folks say,
atj is a mine field for new members. The people who read this group
are not very patient with silly mistakes, and are not very restrained
in going about flaming them.
This place is not for the weak of spirit ...

That being said, if you go over this FAQ carefully, your chances of
posting unburned will be significantly higher. And just remember: if
there's one thing this newsgroup needs, it's new blood, newbies with
new jokes. So, regardless of the result, if you are posting new
material to atj, your work will be appreciated by the (probably
silent) majority.

Good luck.

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4. Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Hi. I don't want to read this whole long FAQ. Got any quick advice
for me?

A: Yes. Don't post anything to this newsgroup without including a
tasteless joke along with it. That's the most important thing I can
tell you.

Q: What is a joke?

A: The word "joke" comes from "yoke", to "join together". A "joke" is
like a koan, joining together two or more thoughts or concepts which
are held to be serious and even sacred, but which are irreconcilable.
For example-

"What would Jesus do?" + "What would you do for a Klondike Bar?"
= "What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?"

"Government" + "Intelligence"
= "Government Intelligence"

Some jokes are more complex, such as "Bungee Jumping in Mexico"
and "Death by Rooroo", and "The parable of the wedding guest", but
similarly conjoin irreconcilable concepts.

Q: I saw a description of this newsgroup is "sometimes disgusting
rather than tasteless or funny." Does that mean it's proper to post
stuff that is just plain disgusting, even if it's not funny?

A: No. The description was written that way because too many folks
post useless junk instead of tasteless jokes. If everyone posted
appropriate material to this newsgroup, that description would no
longer apply. Let's all work towards this end. Please post only
tasteless jokes here. If you want to become proficient at this, study
the work of such masters of tasteless jokes as Bob Tulk and Blanche
Knott.

Q: Hi, I'm not interested in what this group's about, I'm just
testing my news gateway here, sorry about that, only be a minute-

A: There are places for testing your net connection. This is not one
of them. Neither is any other newsgroup not named alt.test or
something like it. Please take your tests there. Otherwise be
prepared to get flamed.

Q: Hey, I found this *great* book entitled "How to Win Friends and
Influence People" written by this visionary named Dale Carnegie that
I'd like to show to all you guys-

A: Please don't. You won't make any friends here like that.

Q: I like humor, but I don't want to be offended.
Is alt.tasteless.jokes for me?

A: No. Why don't you go to rec.humor.funny (a moderated newsgroup
guaranteed to be inoffensive) or rec.funny (which is probably a safer
bet for the thin-skinned)?

Q: I saw a joke that I liked, and I have a somewhat related joke that
I would like to post under the same thread. How should I go about
doing this?

A: Just go about your business using common sense. If it was a long
story joke that you read, and you want to post a joke relating to it,
you probably do not need to copy the whole joke into your reply.
This is especially inappropriate if you post a one-liner after a five
paragraph story joke. This wastes time, and is generally a good way
to get yourself flamed.

Q: I saw a joke that I liked. I'd like to tell the poster so. What is
the accepted way of doing this?

A: It's always better to do these things via email. Unfortunately
nobody uses real email addresses because of spambots.

Q: I saw a joke that just was not funny. It bothered me because it
made reference to (Hitler, Jews, whites, blacks, homosexuals, etc.)
in a disparaging manner. What can I do about this?

A: Good question. A general rule of thumb in this situation is that
no one cares what you think. If you post to the net with a flame of
this joke, you waste bandwidth and all you are doing is pissing other
people off. If a joke is not funny, just let it die in peace. If you
have a good sense of humor, and have correctly gauged the joke's
value, it will disappear quickly. If not, you, and not the poster,
may be the problem. In this group there is no such thing as political
correctness, and nothing is "taboo", nothing is sacred - "freedom of
speech" is the rule, and if your joke includes terms such as "kikes",
"wops", "niggers", "crackers", "spics" or "fudge-packers", no one is
going to care as long as you are posting a joke and not some
intentionally threatening or inflammatory diatribe.

Q: That's not good enough. I want to let this person know that I do
not appreciate the joke and possibly shame him/her into refraining
from posting in the future. What do I do now?

A: It's always good to have such dedication on this group - keeps us
strong. If you feel the need to flame the poster of this joke, by all
means do it. Hey, it's a free world, right?

Q: It's not possible. I want to tell the world what I think. I'm
posting on the net and if you don't like it then screw off, okay?

A: I was afraid it would get to this point. If you need to post a
flame for everyone to see and appreciate (and I have seen some
flames that qualify as being material that I appreciate) then post a
joke with it. That's what the 'objoke' means on all of these posts
around here. Were this newsgroup used correctly there would be at
least one joke in every post. So if you've got a complaint that you
want the world to hear, include a joke that you want the world to
hear and you will be more appreciated.

Q: Okay, how about this (Mel, Lik_My_Sak, et. al.) guy? He really
pisses me off every time he posts - and he posts a lot. How do I get
him to stop? Flame every one of his posts?

A: It's called a killfile. Look into it.

Q: I saw a joke that was very insensitive to the struggles of (insert
minority here). Isn't that illegal?

A: Look. Can you read the name of this group? Here, let me help you -
alt.tasteless.jokes. When you read a joke about blacks, or Chicanos,
or mathematicians, what you are reading is the epitome of
tastelessness, i.e. judging a group of people based on stereotypes.
My advice to you would be deal with it. I guarantee that for every
one of you who is offended, a bunch of tasteless people found the
joke very funny. So shut yer yap. Remember who you are dealing with
here: not alt.sensitivity, alt.save.the.earth, alt.save.the.whales.,
or alt.inner.child. The people who post here are often crude,
obnoxious and un-presentable in public. Hence the term tasteless in
the newsgroup title. If you are offended by a joke then perhaps you
are in the wrong place.

And no, it's not illegal to post such a joke.

An ancient newsgroup sage once observed that to call someone a Nazi
or compare them to Hitler instantly ends any thread or conversation.
This does not apply here.

Q: I have some funny pictures of Richard Catto, your mother, the
moons of Pluto, etc.... is it okay to post them here?

A: No. Please don't post binaries here, use the appropriate binaries
groups, such as alt.binaries.pictures.grotesque - for your favorite
stomach-turning binary posts, and make note of a link or url here if
you must.
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5. Other resources

A. Humor newsgroups

* alt.humor.best-of-usenet - The funniest posts from all over the
usenet.
* alt.humor.puns - If you find such things funny...
* rec.humor.funny - A moderated newsgroup. Tame.
* rec.humor - Less caustic than atj.
* talk.bizarre - Funny-peculiar stuff.
* alt.change.lightbulb - pretty self explanatory.

B. Tasteless newsgroups

* alt.tasteless - The drainage culvert below the information
superhighway.
* alt.tasteless.penis - I haven't got a clue and I probably am
better off that way...


C. Flame newsgroups

* alt.flame - If you'd like to generically piss someone off for
no good reason, atj is *not* the best place to do it.
In alt.flame, they love this type of thing. Get off on it or
something. Whatever. In any case, please post your basic flames
here, and not in atj.
* alt.nuke.europe - If you've got a problem with England, this is
a *great* place to check out.
* alt.nuke.the.usa -if you've got a problem with the USA
(e.g. former Soviet generals, Kim Jung Un, etc.) this is a
*great* place to check out.

D. * Ghosts to watch out for- if you see new posts from any of these
folks, contact the Ghost Adventures crew immediately-
G - P (aka Girdle Popper), +Wayne, Spitfire, Jule§,
CheechWizard, Mr. FBI (aka Mr Funnybone International), Blob,
OverMuch, Loz, Gernot Lachner (aka vampeleon, RIP), Tropigal,
Omar the Camel Humper, Mi MM ke, Lancome_Girl, Ærchie, Leigh,
ur_droll, Lik Mai Sak, RamSys, Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy),
MadMax, Keith E., Mel (aka Richard Catto)

E. Keys to the Kingdom:

Terms and abbreviations commonly used in this and other newsgroups:

http://www.harley.com/usenet/usenet-tutorial/

http://mugsy.org/asa_faq/glossary/usenet.shtml

In addition, you may find other abbreviations not so well documented,
such as

ESOD - "Eat shit and die."
ESOL - "Eat shit and live"
PYGTHUR - might be best learned by searching the Google Groups
archive. Beware asking regular users, this is like asking a passing
stranger in The Bronx, NY, for directions.
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6. Good advice: when adding to a thread, always post to the bottom,
and avoid leaving a lot of headers on top, unless you intend to be
annoying.

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7. Conclusion

If you want to flame me (or anyone) in the newsgroup please include
an objoke when you do so. Additional suggestion- avoid crossposting
to non-humor groups if at all possible.

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8. objoke:

From: "Parsons" <Par...@Bellsouth.net>
Date: Sat, 2 Dec 2006 21:16:16 -0600

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a liberal
Democrat.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal
Democrats
too.

Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was but wanting to be
like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy
fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy has not gone
along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to
be different.

"Because I'm not a liberal Democrat."

"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"

"Why I'm a proud conservative Republican," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She
asks Lucy why she is a conservative Republican.

"Well, I was brought up to trust in myself instead of relying on an
intrusive government to care for me and do all of my thinking. My Dad
and Mom are conservative Republicans, and I am a conservative
Republican too."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly.
"What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron.
What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be a liberal Democrat."

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9. This may be the last place on earth where humans are free to share
their thoughts, so hang on and join the fray...



"We choose truth over facts" - Joe Biden