Peeling the Onion

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Illuminet

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Oct 23, 2003, 11:02:47 AM10/23/03
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What's funny to one person may be offensive to someone else.
That's a truism with which Dave Haupt, publisher of the Boulder
edition of a journal called the Onion, is also familiar. But just in
case he ever forgets it, Janet Jackson stands ready to remind him.

To explain: Last November, the Onion, a satirical publication
that Haupt describes succinctly as "a newspaper gone mad," printed a
faux-article featuring the headline, "Dying 13-Year-Old Gets His Wish,
Will Pork Janet Jackson." The report, which ran on the Onion's front
page alongside a color photograph of the "curvaceous pop songstress,"
alleged that doomed patient "Tommy Garalski" had asked the
"Grant-a-Wish Foundation" to help him enjoy Jackson's carnal delights
before heading into the grave, and that the institution had promised
to come through, if you catch the drift. In some ways, the item was a
bit of a chestnut; it had appeared in the parent branch of the Onion,
based in Madison, Wisconsin, approximately two years earlier. But its
reappearance did not please Jackson, whose Los Angeles-based lawyers
wrote Boulder's Onion last month threatening a lawsuit. Haupt wasn't
especially concerned about this warning. "We're protected by the laws
of satire," he remarks. "She's a public figure, so there really wasn't
anything they could do." But when Jackson's attorneys offered to drop
the entire matter if the Onion sent them all the remaining copies of
the issue, Haupt and company decided to comply; they bundled up about
75 newspapers stacked in their office and sent them to L.A.

The Jackson contretemps was not the first time the Onion has run
afoul of the famous. According to Haupt, the late Ginger Rogers once
objected to a story, as did representatives of Denzel Washington. "We
ran a fake ad for a Denzel Washington movie called Affirmative
Action," he recalls. "He played a character named Johnny Affirmative.
The copy was, 'The feds gave him a job he didn't want or deserve, so
now he's fighting back.'" Still, Haupt insists that the Onion's days
of needling celebrities are far from over. "It's scary when you first
get the phone call," he admits. "But if they had tried to sue us, I'm
sure we would have told them, 'Blow it out of ya.'"

Humor is a personal thing, and even those who consider themselves
Onion fans can end up offended or just left flat from time to time. "I
think it's often very clever," says Mitchell Stephens, professor and
journalism historian at New York University. "Occasionally, as with a
lot of humor writing, the third and fourth joke, the ones down in
paragraphs five through seven or eight, are not as funny as the first
and second jokes were."

Editor Rob Siegel is the first to admit the jokes don't always go
over. "Of anyone on staff I have the lowest opinion of our
hit-and-miss ratio," he says. "There's a healthy chunk of the stuff we
do that I think is pretty mediocre myself." But he also notes that
"you're 10 times more likely to find a joke funny if it's about your
things," your likes, dislikes, familiar experiences. By the same
token, when people get offended, it's frequently because the joke hits
a little too close to home.

Sometimes people don't even know they are reading jokes. Onion
writer Carol Kolb says the Onion gets "just stacks" of e-mails from
the overly credulous. But the gullibility prize goes to China's
Beijing Evening News, which essentially reprinted the story headlined
"Congress Threatens To Leave D.C. Unless New Capitol Is Built."

However, it's not just about entertainment. "We want to have jokes
of substance," staff writer Maria Schneider says. "We try to say
'Nothing's sacred,' " though "there's definitely some topics we
haven't talked much about, like AIDS in Africa," she says. "There's a
message in a lot of the stories."

Sometimes that message is aimed squarely at the news business, as
in "CNN Still Releasing News Piled Up During Elián González Saga." And
Dan Fost, media columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle, thinks a
large part of the Onion's approach is a critique of newspapers.
"Anybody who's worked for a smaller newspaper knows that there's this
formula you can write your stories in," he says. "They take that
formula to these absurd extremes." Such as in "Lackluster Marriage
Enlivened By Cancer Scare," a twisted take on the kind of story meant
to connect with readers. "When you're writing about real people
there's a whole different sensitivity that you can't have when you're
doing satire," Fost says. "But I think it also should just remind you
to take a step back when you're writing these stories."

Although no one on staff admits to consciously criticizing the
media, one of Siegel's pet peeves--and one he loves to satirize--is
what he sees as the media's tendency to ascribe heroism to everyone
who has some tragedy befall them. "I think it kind of strips away a
person's humanity," he says, "if you present people as these robots of
bravery who automatically rise to the occasion, when you Christopher
Reeve-ize everybody.... It just oversimplifies the full range of
emotions you work through when you're confronting death and disease."
The Onion's answer: "Loved Ones Recall Local Man's Cowardly Battle
With Cancer."

Siegel lists a few other hackneyed story lines that bug him. "The
Y2K thing. And you already know exactly what journalism is going to
look like in September 2002. Shit, I could write those stories right
now. After Columbine, 'The healing has begun.' That trope is a fairly
standard one."

He continues: "There's really nothing more simplistic than the way
the media deals with death. There doesn't seem to be any room in
journalism for people shrieking and crying. It's always rendered very
lofty and dignified. Death is rarely dignified."

Last September, Siegel and his staff found out how difficult it
can be to write about death. The attacks on the World Trade Center and
the Pentagon occurred eight months after they'd moved to New York--and
shortly before they'd planned to launch the New York edition. "We
stopped the presses. We had our emergency meeting to discuss what we
should do," Siegel says. They decided to devote the entire next issue
to the attacks.

Collectively titled "Holy Fucking Shit: Attack On America," the
package drew extreme responses: People either loved it or hated it.
Its headlines, including "Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell"
and "Not Knowing What Else To Do, Woman Bakes American-Flag Cake," got
lots of press mentions.

The New York Times' John Schwartz lavishly praised the edition,
describing the "Hijackers" story as "searingly brutal" and "cathartic
for many readers." "[O]ther articles in the carefully balanced package
show a sense of compassion and even grace," he wrote.

Still, some were offended; others just disappointed. Online
Journalism Review published a commentary by contributor Steven
Zeitchik on October 19 that criticized the issue as preachy, obvious
and lacking punch. Zeitchik preceded his complaints with "Normally,
I'm one of the many who finds the Onion riotously funny. But when it
came to the attacks, something seemed off." The hijackers-in-hell
headline, he wrote, is "one of the lazier forms of humor: moral
grandstanding. Do we really need to be told what naughty little boys
those terrorists were?"

But overall, the response "was pretty overwhelming," says writer
Joe Garden. "It was really kind of moving to see how much of an impact
it had.... People wrote in and said that this was the first thing they
had laughed at. It was really touching to be part of the healing
process in a way that I never thought I would be capable of."

Siegel thought the package strong enough to be a Pulitzer Prize
contender, so he submitted it under the "commentary" category. Though
it didn't make the cut as a finalist, one member of the jury says he
wished it could have been recognized. "I thought it was brilliant,"
says Philadelphia Daily News Editor Zack Stalberg. "The unfortunate
thing is it was up against traditional, as in kind of serious, entries
from other columnists in that category, all about September 11. So
while I think it really impressed people, they had a hard time
deciding it should be a finalist."

Stalberg says he particularly liked Siegel's nomination letter,
which ended with a George Bernard Shaw quote that Stalberg wrote down
and saved: " 'Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more
than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.' "

That, says staff writer Todd Hanson, is what the Onion is all
about. "Some people see comedy as a venue to provide light
distraction, put a smile on other people's faces," he says. "And yet
if you really understand what comedy really is, I believe, it's not
about lightheartedness at all. It's about very harsh and terrible
things that were really horrific. It's sort of a way of processing
horror and misery. That's where comedy comes from."

Loved Ones Recall Local Man's
Cowardly Battle With Cancer

On Jan. 26, just four days after visiting the doctor for what he
thought was severe indigestion or maybe an ulcer, Russ Kunkel got the
dreaded news: A malignant, fist-sized tumor had metastasized between
his stomach and liver. It was cancer.

Right then and there, faced with the prospect of a
life-threatening disease, the 34-year-old Florissant, MO, husband and
father of three drew a deep breath and made a firm resolution to
himself: I AM NOT GOING TO FIGHT THIS. I AM A DEAD MAN.

On Feb. 20, less than a month after he was first diagnosed,
Kunkel died following a brief, cowardly battle with stomach cancer.

"Most people, when they find out they've got something terrible
like this, dig deep down inside and tap into some tremendous well of
courage and strength they never knew they had," said Judith Kunkel,
Russ' wife of 11 years. "Not Russ. The moment he found out he had
cancer, he curled up into a fetal ball and sobbed uncontrollably for
three straight weeks."

Said Judith: "I can still remember Russ' last words: 'Oh,
God--I'm going to die! Why, God, why? Why me? Why not someone else?'"

According to Russ' personal physician, Dr. James Wohlpert, the
type of cancer Russ had generally takes at least four months to
advance to the terminal stage. But because of what he described as a
"remarkable lack of fighting spirit," the disease consumed him in less
than one.

"It's rare that you see someone give up that quickly and
completely," Wohlpert said. "Cancer is a powerful disease, but most
people can at the very least delay the spread of it by maintaining a
positive outlook and mental attitude. This, however, was not the case
with Russ."

Russ' friends and acquaintances saw that same lack of fighting
spirit.

"Russ did not go quietly, that's for sure," said longtime friend
Bobby Dwyer. "He did a tremendous amount of screaming."

"During the three days he spent at work before the pain got too
bad, I saw a very different Russ," said Arnold Tolliver, a co-worker
at the Florissant electronics store where Russ had been employed for
the past six years. "He was always telling the customers how tragic it
was that he wouldn't outlive his kids, reminding me that every day is
a gift cruelly torn from his fingers, and grabbing somebody, anybody,
by the shirt and screaming into their face that he didn't want to
die."

In those final days, like so many who realize their day of
reckoning is near, Russ Kunkel turned to a higher power. "Russ came to
me in his time of need," said Pastor Charles Bourne of Holy Christ
Almighty Lutheran Church. "But when I tried to comfort him by saying
he would be with God soon, he only stopped bawling long enough to say,
'Fuck God. There is no God.' I had to get a couple acolytes to help me
pry him out from underneath the pews."

When the end finally came, Russ Kunkel died red-eyed, trembling
and hysterical in the attic of his home, where, in the depths of his
fear, he was convinced the Reaper would look last. On that day, his
5-year-old daughter Bailey awoke to an unnerving quiet, the usual
terror-choked sobs and shrieks of her father strangely absent from the
morning air. Alarmed, she ran to her mother's side.

"Bailey was yelling, 'Daddy stopped crying! Daddy stopped
crying!'" Judith said. "Somehow, though she's still very young, she
understood."


Lackluster Marriage Enlivened
By Cancer Scare

SWANDER, OH--George and Maureen McKay's stagnant, passionless
36-year marriage was briefly enlivened recently by Maureen's late-May
cancer scare.

"When the doctor told us Maureen had terminal stomach cancer,
our priorities instantly changed," said George, 57, who had steadily
grown more distant from his wife over the decades. "Suddenly,
all that mattered was spending those final days together."

"Last week, we found out the doctor made a misdiagnosis," George
continued. "Now, thank God, everything's back to the way it was
before."

On May 25, Dr. Ernest Ingersoll, an oncologist at Dreyer General
Hospital in nearby Tiffin, told the couple that a malignant mass in
Maureen's stomach was Phase 4 stomach cancer. The grave diagnosis
temporarily reignited a passion between George and Maureen that the
weight of the years had dulled.

"When we got home from the hospital, we both couldn't stop
crying," said Maureen, 56, who was later correctly diagnosed with
gastrointestinal basidiobolomycosis, a rare but nonfatal fungal
disease. "George just held me for hours and hours. I hadn't felt
that loved and cared for in years."

According to those who know the couple, this closeness was
precisely what has been missing from the McKay marriage.

"Maureen and George weren't what you would call the most
romantic couple," next-door neighbor Curtis Curran said. "But when
they thought Maureen had cancer, there was an instant change. You
could even see it in the way they sat next to each other. Of
course, now that they found out Maureen will be fine with
treatment, they're back to opposite sides of the room again."

Faced with the grim prospect of cancer, the McKays began to pay
attention to "all the little things" that make a marriage special.

"We started to say 'I love you' again, for no reason," Maureen
said. "I guess George was afraid it might be the last time he'd get to
say it. Thank God, it wasn't. Not that he's said it since we
found out the diagnosis was wrong."

In the days following Maureen's initial diagnosis, George would
call her from work just to see how her day was going. He also
started leaving her little love notes in random spots throughout
the house.

"It sure was an emotional three weeks," George said. "We'd stay
up all night long, saying things we'd never said to each other and
talking about all the things we never got to do together. Now, we've
got a whole damn lifetime to do all that stuff with each other."

"Twenty or thirty more years," George added. "Just the two of
us."

As soon as Maureen's stomach problems were found to be nonfatal,
the couple returned to their normal mode of interaction: icy silence
punctuated by the occasional bickering over petty household matters.
An added source of tension was Maureen's medical treatments, which
prompted fights about everything from who forgot to deposit the check
from the insurance company to who was supposed to pick up the medicine
from the pharmacy before it closed at 7 p.m.

Still, the couple has their memories of the whirlwind three
weeks. One moment in particular sticks out in Maureen's mind. A few
days after the misdiagnosis, George presented her with a thick woolen
sweater to wear around the house if she felt cold. It had been years
since he had bought her a present out of the blue.

"I was so touched that I cried," said Maureen, holding up the
unattractive purple-and-green sweater. "Before, I would have made fun
of this ugly thing and shoved it in the closet, but instead, I wore it
every day. I mean, until I found out I was okay. I haven't worn it
since. It's really not my style."

Settling back into their pre-cancer-scare routine, the couple
has canceled the vacation they had planned, deciding it would be wiser
to put the money toward a new roof on their home.

"Boy, am I glad that's all over," George said. "Now we can get
back to being a normal married couple again."

Dying 13-Year-Old Gets His Wish,
Will Pork Janet Jackson

TRUMBULL, CT--Leukemia patient Tommy Garalski will soon have
his greatest desire fulfilled.

Through the magic of the Grant-A-Wish Foundation, the
13-year-old Trumbull resident will have the chance to pork curvaceous
pop songstress Janet Jackson.

Unlike other terminally ill children who opt for trips to
Disneyland, Garalski has more libidinous pleasures in mind. "Why would
I choose to see Mickey Mouse over the chance to present my gift of
living sausage to the woman behind such hits as 'Nasty Boys' and
'Escapade'?" he asked.

"She's probably used to doin' it with cool rock stars," added
the young invalid, who doctors say has three months left at most. "But
I'm working hard on my look."

With the help of his mother, Garalski has picked out a new shirt
from Marshall's in preparation for his evening with Jackson. He is
also considering breaking his usual schedule and not wearing his
orthodontic night brace during the actual porking.

With her sultry, steamy image, Jackson has surprised observers
with her willingness to have sex with a small, homely boy. "The
example set by my loving father, Joseph, is something I've carried
with me my whole life," she said. "I'm so happy to give my love to a
child in need, just as my father always gave it to us."

The porking, scheduled to take place next Saturday, will kick
off Jackson's "Save the Children" World Tour, sponsored by Diet Pepsi.
Pending the ironing-out of some last-minute details, the romantic
interlude will be broadcast live on pay-per-view TV.

Garalski only has to wait a few more days before porking
Jackson. But, as one might expect, the leukemia patient is getting
impatient. "Sometimes I'll just sit back and watch Janet on MTV,"
Garalski said. "I've always dreamed of getting into her pants, and
now, thanks to my terminal illness, it's going to happen at last."

Sometimes, it would seem, dreams do come true.

Jesus of ATJ

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Oct 26, 2003, 11:27:54 AM10/26/03
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On 23 Oct 2003 08:02:47 -0700, illu...@hotmail.com (Illuminet) wrote in
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Oct 27, 2003, 10:23:21 AM10/27/03
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"Jesus of ATJ" <je...@heaven.atj> wrote in message
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> On 23 Oct 2003 08:02:47 -0700, illu...@hotmail.com (Illuminet) wrote in
> message <aa5d706c.03102...@posting.google.com>:
>
> your account is terminated.

still net copping people fag boy?

Q: What's the difference between fag boy Richard Catto and a guy?
A: The guy has the higher sperm count.


>
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drdoody

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Oct 27, 2003, 12:32:41 PM10/27/03
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illu...@hotmail.com (Illuminet) wrote in message news:<aa5d706c.03102...@posting.google.com>...

> --
>
>
>
>
> What's funny to one person may be offensive to someone else.

What's even MORE funny is when some useless fucknuckle posts entire
news articles when headers would have done quite nicely.

Even funnier than that: When somebody saunters up to said fucknuckle,
pumps three gallons of gasoline up his ass, shoves in a traffic cone,
sets fire to the whole assembly and turns him into a fucking roman
candle.

Now, grow something a bit more profound than a fucking brainstem and
get the fuck out of my NG. We don't give a fuck about your idea of
humor, you yammering fucking mongoloid.

Doc

marvin

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Oct 27, 2003, 1:08:46 PM10/27/03
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"drdoody" <drd...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:a050c062.03102...@posting.google.com...

hi doc - you ever roasted a rat? (not one you've had up your ass of course!)


drdoody

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Oct 27, 2003, 4:35:12 PM10/27/03
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"marvin" <mar...@pissoff.com> wrote in message
>
> hi doc - you ever roasted a rat? (not one you've had up your ass of course!)

Squirrel, in fact. Close enough to a rat for conversational purposes.

Ever been violently sodomized by a clown wearing an ear necklace and
humming Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On"?

Want to?

Doc

MosZibby

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Oct 27, 2003, 4:49:11 PM10/27/03
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"drdoody" <drd...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:a050c062.03102...@posting.google.com...

Squirrels are a member of the rodent family. HTH


Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)

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Oct 27, 2003, 11:55:42 PM10/27/03
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On 27 Oct 2003 09:32:41 -0800, drd...@hotmail.com (drdoody) wrote in
alt.tasteless.jokes:

Subscribe!
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Jesus of ATJ

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Oct 28, 2003, 7:06:51 AM10/28/03
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On 27 Oct 2003 09:32:41 -0800, drd...@hotmail.com (drdoody) wrote in
message <a050c062.03102...@posting.google.com>:

>illu...@hotmail.com (Illuminet) wrote in message news:<aa5d706c.03102...@posting.google.com>...
>> What's funny to one person may be offensive to someone else.
>What's even MORE funny is when some useless fucknuckle posts entire
>news articles when headers would have done quite nicely.
>Even funnier than that: When somebody saunters up to said fucknuckle,
>pumps three gallons of gasoline up his ass, shoves in a traffic cone,
>sets fire to the whole assembly and turns him into a fucking roman
>candle.
>Now, grow something a bit more profound than a fucking brainstem and
>get the fuck out of my NG. We don't give a fuck about your idea of
>humor, you yammering fucking mongoloid.
>Doc

articles must be posted in the following format:

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[ article text ]

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Jesus of ATJ

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Oct 28, 2003, 7:06:52 AM10/28/03
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On 27 Oct 2003 13:35:12 -0800, drd...@hotmail.com (drdoody) wrote in
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where is the joke here?

Dan Evans

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Oct 28, 2003, 7:12:46 AM10/28/03
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"Jesus of ATJ" <je...@heaven.atj> wrote in message
news:7lcspvoj49adtbjnt...@4ax.com...

> On 27 Oct 2003 13:35:12 -0800, drd...@hotmail.com (drdoody) wrote in
> message <a050c062.03102...@posting.google.com>:
> >"marvin" <mar...@pissoff.com> wrote in message
> >>hi doc - you ever roasted a rat? (not one you've had up your ass of
course!)
> >Squirrel, in fact. Close enough to a rat for conversational purposes.
> >Ever been violently sodomized by a clown wearing an ear necklace and
> >humming Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On"?
> >Want to?
> >Doc
>
> where is the joke here?

articles must be posted in the following format:

[ your personal comment ]

[ *** ]

[ URL of article ]

[ article text ]

any deviation from this format will lead to me sending in an abuse complaint
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Fuck off

Dan

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GP of ATJ

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Oct 28, 2003, 9:40:11 AM10/28/03
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"marvin" <mar...@pissoff.com> wrote in message

news:ce56d33e21d08165...@news.1usenet.com...

so roasted rats must be your mail source of food roo banger.

Q: How can you tell Marvin the roo banger has a vibrator?
A: By the chipped tooth.


>
>


Jesus of ATJ

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Oct 28, 2003, 9:49:44 AM10/28/03
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On 28 Oct 2003 12:12:46 GMT, "Dan Evans"
<mailer.dae...@danevans.com> wrote in message
<3f9e5...@news1.uncensored-news.com>:

>"Jesus of ATJ" <je...@heaven.atj> wrote in message
>news:7lcspvoj49adtbjnt...@4ax.com...
>> On 27 Oct 2003 13:35:12 -0800, drd...@hotmail.com (drdoody) wrote in
>> message <a050c062.03102...@posting.google.com>:
>> >"marvin" <mar...@pissoff.com> wrote in message
>> >>hi doc - you ever roasted a rat? (not one you've had up your ass of
>course!)
>> >Squirrel, in fact. Close enough to a rat for conversational purposes.
>> >Ever been violently sodomized by a clown wearing an ear necklace and
>> >humming Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On"?
>> >Want to?
>> >Doc
>>
>> where is the joke here?
>
>articles must be posted in the following format:
>
>[ your personal comment ]
>
>[ *** ]
>
>[ URL of article ]
>
>[ article text ]
>
>any deviation from this format will lead to me sending in an abuse complaint
>to your ISP of contravening ATJ rules as laid down on http://www.atjfaq.com
>
>
>Fuck off
>
>Dan

try me.

marvin

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Oct 29, 2003, 7:55:54 AM10/29/03
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"drdoody" <drd...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:a050c062.03102...@posting.google.com...

what a sweet guy - just don't breathe down my neck whilst doing so!


Dan Evans

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Oct 29, 2003, 12:11:14 PM10/29/03
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"Jesus of ATJ" <je...@heaven.atj> wrote in message
news:31uspvku4qjods2dp...@4ax.com...

> On 28 Oct 2003 12:12:46 GMT, "Dan Evans"
> <mailer.dae...@danevans.com> wrote in message
> <3f9e5...@news1.uncensored-news.com>:

> >Fuck off
> >
> >Dan
>
> try me.

Try you as what? An interesting marital aid. A novel method of serving
Jelly? What?

Is there a money back guarantee? Or are you referring to the hole in your
packaging where we can squeeze your hand and make you say entertaining
phrases?

Jesus of ATJ

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Oct 29, 2003, 5:09:46 PM10/29/03
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On 29 Oct 2003 17:11:14 GMT, "Dan Evans"
<mailer.dae...@danevans.com> wrote in message
<3f9ff...@news1.uncensored-news.com>:

>"Jesus of ATJ" <je...@heaven.atj> wrote in message
>> On 28 Oct 2003 12:12:46 GMT, "Dan Evans"
>> >Fuck off
>> >Dan
>> try me.
>Try you as what? An interesting marital aid. A novel method of serving
>Jelly? What?
>Is there a money back guarantee? Or are you referring to the hole in your
>packaging where we can squeeze your hand and make you say entertaining
>phrases?
>Dan

your account has been terminated.

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in the history of the world, no one has ever been interested in complaints.
*******************************
Read the Official ATJ FAQ at the resource site for ATJ:
http://www.atjfaq.com

site is updated daily with meaningless crap


*******************************
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Dan Evans

unread,
Oct 29, 2003, 6:11:41 PM10/29/03
to

"Jesus of ATJ" <je...@heaven.atj> wrote in message
news:pna0qvg1gh19jbn9m...@4ax.com...

> On 29 Oct 2003 17:11:14 GMT, "Dan Evans"
> <mailer.dae...@danevans.com> wrote in message
> <3f9ff...@news1.uncensored-news.com>:
> >"Jesus of ATJ" <je...@heaven.atj> wrote in message
> >> On 28 Oct 2003 12:12:46 GMT, "Dan Evans"
> >> >Fuck off
> >> >Dan
> >> try me.
> >Try you as what? An interesting marital aid. A novel method of serving
> >Jelly? What?
> >Is there a money back guarantee? Or are you referring to the hole in your
> >packaging where we can squeeze your hand and make you say entertaining
> >phrases?
> >Dan
>
> your account has been terminated.

No it hasn't

Love and kisses

MosZibby

unread,
Oct 29, 2003, 7:37:58 PM10/29/03
to

"Dan Evans" <mailer.dae...@danevans.com> wrote in message
news:3fa04...@news1.uncensored-news.com...

>
> "Jesus of ATJ" <je...@heaven.atj> wrote in message
> news:pna0qvg1gh19jbn9m...@4ax.com...
> > On 29 Oct 2003 17:11:14 GMT, "Dan Evans"
> > <mailer.dae...@danevans.com> wrote in message
> > <3f9ff...@news1.uncensored-news.com>:
> > >"Jesus of ATJ" <je...@heaven.atj> wrote in message
> > >> On 28 Oct 2003 12:12:46 GMT, "Dan Evans"
> > >> >Fuck off
> > >> >Dan
> > >> try me.
> > >Try you as what? An interesting marital aid. A novel method of serving
> > >Jelly? What?
> > >Is there a money back guarantee? Or are you referring to the hole in
your
> > >packaging where we can squeeze your hand and make you say entertaining
> > >phrases?
> > >Dan
> >
> > your account has been terminated.
>
> No it hasn't
>
> Love and kisses
>
> Dan
>
I really wish you old farts would quit being romantic.

>
>
____________________________________________________________________________

Dan Evans

unread,
Oct 29, 2003, 7:48:55 PM10/29/03
to

"MosZibby" <APATHY@ATJ> wrote in message
news:vq0n9a5...@corp.supernews.com...

> I really wish you old farts would quit being romantic.

And I wish you'd disappear up your own arse, but it seems we can't all have
what we wish for. Now be quiet because the grown ups want to talk.

Dan

_______________________________________________________________________________

Pollywolly

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Oct 30, 2003, 5:43:49 AM10/30/03
to

"marvin" <mar...@pissoff.com> wrote in message
news:b1db2ba90e193d68...@news.1usenet.com...

And then you wonder why you're a poofter magnet <smiles>


Pollywolly

unread,
Oct 30, 2003, 5:52:49 AM10/30/03
to

"Dan Evans" <mailer.dae...@danevans.com> wrote in message
news:3fa04...@news1.uncensored-news.com...

>
> "Jesus of ATJ" <je...@heaven.atj> wrote in message
> news:pna0qvg1gh19jbn9m...@4ax.com...
> > On 29 Oct 2003 17:11:14 GMT, "Dan Evans"
> > <mailer.dae...@danevans.com> wrote in message
> > <3f9ff...@news1.uncensored-news.com>:
> > >"Jesus of ATJ" <je...@heaven.atj> wrote in message
> > >> On 28 Oct 2003 12:12:46 GMT, "Dan Evans"
> > >> >Fuck off
> > >> >Dan
> > >> try me.
> > >Try you as what? An interesting marital aid. A novel method of serving
> > >Jelly? What?
> > >Is there a money back guarantee? Or are you referring to the hole in
your
> > >packaging where we can squeeze your hand and make you say entertaining
> > >phrases?
> > >Dan
> >
> > your account has been terminated.
>
> No it hasn't
>
> Love and kisses
>
> Dan

Awww <smooches> :-)


GP of ATJ

unread,
Nov 3, 2003, 2:53:47 PM11/3/03
to

--
http://www.geocities.com/mystacy/atjfaq.htm

"marvin" <mar...@pissoff.com> wrote in message

news:ce56d33e21d08165...@news.1usenet.com...

is that how you roast yours roo banger?

Q: What do you call Marvin the roo banger in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.


>
>


Fel...@felch.com

unread,
Nov 3, 2003, 3:44:51 PM11/3/03
to
On Mon, 3 Nov 2003 13:53:47 -0600, "GP of ATJ"
<GP_o...@NoFagBoysAllowed.Com> wrote:


Q: What do you call someone who posts jokes to alt.tasteless?


A: A clueless fucking moron

-

"Slipping in and outta love..."

- Steve Tyler, Aerosmith

MosZibby

unread,
Nov 3, 2003, 7:56:04 PM11/3/03
to

<Fel...@felch.com> wrote in message
news:fgfdqv48bd080sb6dk69qa230rh3pcpmsp@toltec...

Those were jokes he posted?


GP of ATJ

unread,
Nov 7, 2003, 9:11:01 PM11/7/03
to

--
http://www.geocities.com/mystacy/atjfaq.htm

"marvin" <mar...@pissoff.com> wrote in message
news:ce56d33e21d08165...@news.1usenet.com...
>

how does roasted kangaroo taste after you've had you way with them roo
banger?

Q: Why does Marvin the roo banger want to become a veternarian?
A: Because he likes children.


>
>


GP of ATJ

unread,
Nov 7, 2003, 9:14:57 PM11/7/03
to

--
http://www.geocities.com/mystacy/atjfaq.htm

"marvin" <mar...@pissoff.com> wrote in message

news:b1db2ba90e193d68...@news.1usenet.com...

you dreaming you might have a new lover roo banger?

Q: What is the difference between Marvin the roo banger and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.


>
>


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