Freddy Mercury jokes

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G P Crowder

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May 6, 1994, 1:33:56 PM5/6/94
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I know this is _decades_ after the event, but I'm new to this group.

I remember thinking about appropriate titles for his songs at the
time when Freddy Mercury died. I got as far as the following :-

Killer Queen
Another one bites the dust
Who wants to live forever?
Good old fashioned lover boy
You're my best friend
Flash

Can anyone add to this list, or supply some Freddy jokes?

------------------------------

Kris Weston

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May 7, 1994, 9:21:19 PM5/7/94
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In article <graham...@iceman.demon.co.uk>, gra...@iceman.demon.co.uk (G
P Crowder) wrote:

YEah, what about the 16 week no 1 smash get a life you spotty twat. O and
the classic humour bypass, but don't get me wrong Im not saying you're not
funny. You're just a cunt. Fair enough eh eh eh

KRisp

Motnahp

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May 14, 1994, 1:47:54 AM5/14/94
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gra...@iceman.demon.co.uk (G P Crowder) writes:
>Date: Fri, 6 May 1994 17:33:56 +0000

>I know this is _decades_ after the event, but I'm new to this group.

*snip*

>Can anyone add to this list, or supply some Freddy jokes?

Did you hear they did an autopsy Liberace? They found traces of mercury.

()_()
(o o)
=\_/=

Nev Kaye

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May 17, 1994, 12:14:09 PM5/17/94
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fatba...@pie.shop writes,

>>Can anyone add to this list, or supply some Freddy jokes?

What did Freddy Mercury do for Christmas?

Babysit for Anne Diamond!!!!

Fuck you if you don't know who she is!

Nev.

Jai Praladh Naidoo - EC1

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May 19, 1994, 12:38:09 PM5/19/94
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In article <2raqgh$d...@rowan.coventry.ac.uk> n...@rowan.coventry.ac.uk (Nev Kaye) writes:
>From: n...@rowan.coventry.ac.uk (Nev Kaye)
>Subject: Re: Freddy Mercury jokes
>Date: 17 May 1994 17:14:09 +0100
pussssssssssss

James Petts

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May 20, 1994, 4:31:09 AM5/20/94
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Q. What's the similarity between Freddie Mercury and Ayrton Senna?
A. They both died with blood on their helmets.

--
James Petts
-----------
DO NOT READ THIS .sig UNDER PENALTY OF LAW!
FUTILE CODE SECTION 4 SUBSECTION A.1.7

Ole Irgens

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May 24, 1994, 4:37:00 PM5/24/94
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NK> What did Freddy Mercury do for Christmas?
NK>
NK> Babysit for Anne Diamond!!!!

Hmm, who is this Anne Diamond anyway???

Objoke:
It was a cold winter in the enormous, Norwegian forest. Yes, it was so
cold that when you took a dump on the outdoor toilet, the shit would
freeze before it hit the ground. So eventually, a large pyramid of shit
piled up, and after a few months you couldn't take a dump because the
shit-pile was too high.

The norwegian peasant using the toilet wanted to get rid of the shit,
but how? Well, one day he took some pieces of dynamite, drilled some
holes in the shit-pile, inserted the dynamite, lit the fuse (?) and ran
like hell. After some minutes, there was an enormous *bang*, and pieces
of frozen shit started to rain down all over the place. The peasant
walked back to the toilet, and to his horror he saw an arm lying on the
ground. Some yards away, he saw a foot. "Darn", he thought, "maybe I
should have checked if somebody took a dump before setting of the
dynamite". And he shouted: "Hello? Hello? Anybody missing an arm or a
foot" And from a tree nearby a weak voice replied: "Fuck the arm and the
foot, can you see a hand holding a dick?"

Not to bad for a newbie, hm?

Ole I.
ole...@bbb.no
o...@nla.no

-- SPEED 1.30 [NR]: What has four legs and an arm? A happy Pitbull

Rick Randall

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May 26, 1994, 6:21:38 PM5/26/94
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Q: Why was Freddie's car insurance revoked?

A: He had too many rear-end collisions

Feldman / Mark Jeffrey (ISE)

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May 27, 1994, 11:57:19 AM5/27/94
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In article <2s37di$k...@pioneer.uspto.gov> ran...@uspto.gov (Rick Randall) writes:
> Q: Why was Freddie's car insurance revoked?
> A: He had too many rear-end collisions

Q: What's hit more balls than John McEnroe's racket?
A: Freddy Mercury's chin!

Didja hear Freddy Mercury died of AIDS? What a drag, ey?


E.M. Keogh

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May 27, 1994, 6:39:19 PM5/27/94
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Why was Freddy Mercury buried face down?
So his friends would recognise him.

What's the similarity between Robert Maxwell and Freddy Mercury?
They were both killed by dodgy seamen.

Forever,
______________________________________________________________________
/\_./o__ / \ (_)_ / | It is only with the heart that | __o\._/\
(/^/(_^^' | |_| |/ /_ | one can see rightly, what is | '^^_)\^\)
._.(_.)_. |___\_/____ | essential is invisible to the eye | _(._)._.

Steve J Brown

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May 28, 1994, 9:41:16 PM5/28/94
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> > > Q: Why was Freddie's car insurance revoked?
> > > A: He had too many rear-end collisions
> >
> > Q: What's hit more balls than John McEnroe's racket?
> > A: Freddy Mercury's chin!
> >
> > Didja hear Freddy Mercury died of AIDS? What a drag, ey?
>
> Why was Freddy Mercury buried face down?
> So his friends would recognise him.
>
> What's the similarity between Robert Maxwell and Freddy Mercury?
> They were both killed by dodgy seamen.

Q: What do Freddie Mercury and Ayrton Senna have in common?
A: They both have blood on their helmets.

--
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Steve J Brown : Please read this mail immediately, : Tel/Fax/Data on
Frimley,Surrey,UK : you may have already won our star prize : +44 276 23455
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loverboy

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May 26, 1994, 9:35:36 AM5/26/94
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Ole Irgens (ole.i...@yro.fidonet.bbs.no) wrote:
: NK> What did Freddy Mercury do for Christmas?

: NK>
: NK> Babysit for Anne Diamond!!!!

: Hmm, who is this Anne Diamond anyway???

Not too funny, Anne Diamond is a UK morning tv host who lost a baby to
cot death. Hope this puts you mind at rest.


Objoke.
What goes " 11, 13,15,17,33,35,37."?
Postie at Lockerbie.

Some special offers,
Free swimming lessons with every Townsend Thoreson sailling.
Free car wash with above.
Free trip around the Lakes and Scotland with Pan-Am.
The worlds most expensive firework courtesy of NASA.
Free gas and oil from Piper Alpha, bring your own container.

Jeremy Rae

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Jun 8, 1994, 4:24:14 AM6/8/94
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E.M. Keogh (93...@eng.cam.ac.uk) wrote:
> In article <1994May27....@csc.canberra.edu.au>, u91...@student.canberra.edu.au (Feldman / Mark Jeffrey (ISE)) writes:
> > In article <2s37di$k...@pioneer.uspto.gov> ran...@uspto.gov (Rick Randall) writes:
> > > Q: Why was Freddie's car insurance revoked?
> > > A: He had too many rear-end collisions
> >
> > Q: What's hit more balls than John McEnroe's racket?
> > A: Freddy Mercury's chin!
> >
> > Didja hear Freddy Mercury died of AIDS? What a drag, ey?

> Why was Freddy Mercury buried face down?
> So his friends would recognise him.

> What's the similarity between Robert Maxwell and Freddy Mercury?
> They were both killed by dodgy seamen.

What do Freddy Mercury and a turkey have in common?
They've both been stuffed up the arse and dead before Christmas

s.j.shearer

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Jun 8, 1994, 9:55:35 AM6/8/94
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In article 7...@news.otago.ac.nz, jl...@sanger.otago.ac.nz (Jeremy Rae) writes:
-->E.M. Keogh (93...@eng.cam.ac.uk) wrote:
-->> In article <1994May27....@csc.canberra.edu.au>, u91...@student.canberra.edu.au (Feldman / Mark Jeffrey (ISE)) writes:
-->> > In article <2s37di$k...@pioneer.uspto.gov> ran...@uspto.gov (Rick Randall) writes:
-->> > > Q: Why was Freddie's car insurance revoked?
-->> > > A: He had too many rear-end collisions
-->> >
-->> > Q: What's hit more balls than John McEnroe's racket?
-->> > A: Freddy Mercury's chin!
-->> >
-->> > Didja hear Freddy Mercury died of AIDS? What a drag, ey?
-->
-->> Why was Freddy Mercury buried face down?
-->> So his friends would recognise him.
-->
-->> What's the similarity between Robert Maxwell and Freddy Mercury?
-->> They were both killed by dodgy seamen.
-->
-->What do Freddy Mercury and a turkey have in common?
-->They've both been stuffed up the arse and dead before Christmas

What do Elton John and British Telecom got in common?
They've both been fucked by Mercury.

Stuart Coates

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Jun 8, 1994, 3:31:03 PM6/8/94
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In article <Cr2Ko...@news.otago.ac.nz>
jl...@sanger.otago.ac.nz "Jeremy Rae" writes:

OK, if we're gonna be sick about it....

What's the similarity between Ayrton Senna and Freddy Mercury?
They both died with blood on their helmet!

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