Some more Little Willie Limericks
Catrim
Due to numerous requests, here are all of my Little Willie Limericks
Willie, in one of his nice new sashes
Fell in the fire and was burned to ashes
Now, although the room grows Chilly
We haven't the heart to poke poor Willie
Willie on the railroad track
The engine gave a squeal
The engineer just took a spade
And scraped him off the wheel
Willie with a thirst for gore
Nailed the baby to the door
Mother said with humour quaint
Willie dear, Don't spoil the paint
Into the cistern little Willie
Pushed his little sister Lily
Mother couldn't find our Daughter
Now we sterilise our water
Willie with an awful curse
Threw a saucepan at the nurse
When he hit her on the nose
Mother said "How straight he throws"
Willie saw some dynamite
Didn't understand it quite
Curiosity never pays
It rained Willie several days
Willie poisoned Fathers tea
Father Died in agony
Mother came and looked quite vexed
"Really will" she said "What next"
Willie split the baby's head
To see if Brains were Grey or red
Mother, Troubled, said to Father
Children are an awful bother
Willie in his Roguish way
Pushed Grandpa into the fire one day
Mother said "Why dear that's cruel
But of course it does save fuel"
Willie hitting at a ball
Lined one down the Schoolhouse Hall
Through his door came Mr Hill
Several teeth are missing still
Willie's cute as cute can be
Beneath his brother, only three
He lit a stick of dynamite
Now Bubbys simply out of sight
Willie fell down the elevator
Wasn't found till six day's later
Then the neighbors sniffed Gee Whiz
What a spoiled child Willie is
My Favourite:
Little Willie
Pair of skates
Hole in the ice
Golden Gates
Willie in the cauldron fell
See the grief on Mothers brow
Mother loved her darling well
Willies quite hard boiled by now
Little Willie hung his sister
She was dead before we missed her
Willies always up to tricks
Ain't he cute?, He's only six
Willie stopped a cable car
While standing on the track
It gave his system quite a jar
His sisters now wear black
Our Willie studied chemistry
Willie is no more
What he took for H20
Was H2SO4 (Sulphuric Acid)
Little Willie killed his sister
A thing a brother should not do
Cried his mother "Now you'll catch it
You've spoiled you're Father's brand new hatchet"
Willie pushed his Aunt Elizer
Off a rock into a Geyser
Now he's feeling quite dejected
Didn't get the rise expected
Little Willie with a rock
Woman was the theme he took
Woman was the only text
Ain't he cute? He's oversexed
Little Willie, with a rock
Hit the cuckoo in the clock
Father said "Why don't it tick?"
Willie said "The bird is sick"
Little Will, With Fathers gun
Punctured Grandma, just for fun
Mother frowned at the merry lad
It was the last shell Father had
Willie, while the ice was thin
Tried to skate and he fell in
Willie tasted rather nice
When they cut the pond for Ice
Willie, looking down the Gun
Pulled the trigger just for fun
Mother says, in accents pained
Willie is so scatterbrained
Willie took a pair of shears
Cut off both the baby's ears
At the baby, so unsightly
Mama raised her eyebrows slightly
Baby's in the ice cream freezer
Willie turns the crank to squeeze her
Ma says "Dear, the way that's fixed
You'll have that child completely mixed
Willie pushed his Sister Nell
Down the family drinking well
She's still there because it kilt her
Now we have to use a filter
Phew! Took me ages to write. Hope you enjoy.
If anyone has any more or any comments, please send to:
cat...@globalnet.co.uk
Loz
In article <6l75d3$fjk$1...@heliodor.xara.net>, Catrim
<cat...@globalnet.co.uk> writes
>Phew! Took me ages to write. Hope you enjoy.
>If anyone has any more or any comments, please send to:
>cat...@globalnet.co.uk
>
Found a stick of dynamite!
His parents are now picking small,
Bits of Willie off the wall!
>
>
>
>
--
Yours, "There was this rabbit, and it
Loz walked into a butchers..."
mailto:ne...@hensel.demon.co.uk
http://www.hensel.demon.co.uk - The Hub Of Cheese
Noir
Who is willie?
--
Noir
John
Noir wrote:
>
> Who is willie?
> --
> Noir
Willie's a spoiled little brat
Who strangled the dog and the cat
Diddled his sister,
Won't call me "Mister",
Is expelled from xx-rated chat
Willie's a bit of antique
His antics trend mostly to cheek
If we had him today
Most people might say
That his life-style is really "tres chic"
I guess we're not really astute
To think Little Willie is cute
But he does make us laugh
And that's more than half
Of what stops us from starting to shoot
Willie grew up, I'm afraid
Quite a life for himself he has made
He may be a real prick
But we laugh, call him "Slick"
He's a crook with it made in the shade
-- John
whitne...@gmail.com
Gouged the Baby's eyeballs out,
Father cried with humor quaint,
Please now Willie, don't mar the paint.
Little Willie fell in the fire
and burned to an ash
now although the room grows chilly,
I haven't the heart to poke poor Willie.
Douglas D.. Anderson
close to gangsta rap as they are to limericks.
Try this-
The noisiest nigger alive,
Made her goal to impeach forty-five.
After three years this ho' see
Nadler Shiff and Polosi
In the Senate barfing stupid-ass jive.