A couple of jokes..
Mike Broom
A bloke walks into a pub.
His mate say's "Are you alright Bill?"
Bill says "No, I was stung by a bee yesterday..."
"What! At this time of year??"
"Yeah.. 4 quid for a jar of honey..."
A bloke says to his wife "right! I'm off for my plane!"
His wife panicks, and asks "where are you going??"
"I'm gonna trim 2 inches off the toilet door..."
--
Mike Broom, Hull , England
http://come.to/hull
Ed
Sorry, but as an american, I don't get it.
Mike Broom wrote in message <6h09oc$jmv$1...@nclient5-gui.server.virgin.net>...
ElRoi1811
>Sorry, but as an american, I don't get it.
Let me try to translate....
>>A bloke walks into a pub.
>>His mate say's "Are you alright Bill?"
>>Bill says "No, I was stung by a bee yesterday..."
>>"What! At this time of year??"
>>"Yeah.. 4 quid for a jar of honey..."
>>
He overpaid for the honey.. not funny anymore if you have to explain it....
>>A bloke says to his wife "right! I'm off for my plane!"
>>His wife panicks, and asks "where are you going??"
>>"I'm gonna trim 2 inches off the toilet door..."
>>
Plane as in the tool for trimming woodwork...... planing a door... see not
funny anymore....
Boom shaka laka shaka laka shaka laka laka
Béla Ábrányi
ElRoi1811 wrote:
I'm British and unfortunately I understood it all. I'm still picking
the pieces of diced carrot out of my keyboard. BB.
Richard S. MacKnight
Ed, let me explain:
>>A bloke walks into a pub.
>>His mate say's "Are you alright Bill?"
>>Bill says "No, I was stung by a bee yesterday..."
>>"What! At this time of year??"
>>"Yeah.. 4 quid for a jar of honey..."
A guy walks into a bar.
His friend asks "Are you alright Bill?"
Bill says "No, I was stung by a bee yesterday..."
"What! At this time of year??"
"Yeah.. $12 for a jar of honey..."
"Stung" is a slang term for "was robbed".
>>A bloke says to his wife "right! I'm off for my plane!"
>>His wife panicks, and asks "where are you going??"
>>"I'm gonna trim 2 inches off the toilet door..."
>>
A guy says to his wife "I'm off for my plane!"
His wife and asks "Where are you going??"
The guy says "I'm gonna trim 2 inches off the bathroom door..."
A "plane" is a carpenter's wood shaving tool.
Keith Ehrle
>ElRoi1811 wrote:
>
>> >Sorry, but as an american, I don't get it.
>>
>> Let me try to translate....
>>
>> >>A bloke walks into a pub.
>> >>His mate say's "Are you alright Bill?"
>> >>Bill says "No, I was stung by a bee yesterday..."
>> >>"What! At this time of year??"
>> >>"Yeah.. 4 quid for a jar of honey..."
>> >>
>>
>> He overpaid for the honey.. not funny anymore if you have to explain
>> it....
>>
>> >>A bloke says to his wife "right! I'm off for my plane!"
>> >>His wife panicks, and asks "where are you going??"
>> >>"I'm gonna trim 2 inches off the toilet door..."
>> >>
>>
>> Plane as in the tool for trimming woodwork...... planing a door... see
>> not
>> funny anymore....
>>
>> Boom shaka laka shaka laka shaka laka laka
>
> I'm British and unfortunately I understood it all. I'm still picking
>the pieces of diced carrot out of my keyboard. BB.
Try a cutting board next time. Plane one to fit over your
keyboard.
--
Keith E.
Veni, Vidi, Verdi
Béla Ábrányi
Keith Ehrle wrote:
I had one, but the puke just ate its way right through the bitch. BB.
Keith Ehrle
On Fri, 17 Apr 1998 00:27:26 +0200, "Béla Ábrányi"
<c...@mail.datanet.hu> wrote:
>Keith Ehrle wrote:
>
>> On Wed, 15 Apr 1998 11:54:05 +0200, "Béla Ábrányi"
>> <c...@mail.datanet.hu> wrote:
>>
>> >ElRoi1811 wrote:
>> >
>> >> >Sorry, but as an american, I don't get it.
>> >>
>> >> Let me try to translate....
>> >>
>> >> >>A bloke walks into a pub.
>> >> >>His mate say's "Are you alright Bill?"
>> >> >>Bill says "No, I was stung by a bee yesterday..."
>> >> >>"What! At this time of year??"
>> >> >>"Yeah.. 4 quid for a jar of honey..."
>> >> >>
>> >>
>> >> He overpaid for the honey.. not funny anymore if you have to
>> >> explain it....
>> >>
>> >> >>A bloke says to his wife "right! I'm off for my plane!"
>> >> >>His wife panicks, and asks "where are you going??"
>> >> >>"I'm gonna trim 2 inches off the toilet door..."
>> >> >>
>> >>
>> >> Plane as in the tool for trimming woodwork...... planing a door...
>> >> see not funny anymore....
>> >>
>> >> Boom shaka laka shaka laka shaka laka laka
>> >
>> > I'm British and unfortunately I understood it all. I'm still picking
>> >the pieces of diced carrot out of my keyboard. BB.
>>
>> Try a cutting board next time. Plane one to fit over your
>> keyboard.
>
> I had one, but the puke just ate its way right through the bitch. BB.
Try making one from wood instead of woman. For cutting boards,
it's a much more durable material
duh me
Keith Ehrle wrote:
> On Wed, 15 Apr 1998 11:54:05 +0200, "Béla Ábrányi"
> <c...@mail.datanet.hu> wrote:
>
> >ElRoi1811 wrote:
> >
> >> >Sorry, but as an american, I don't get it.
> >>
> >> Let me try to translate....
> >>
> >> >>A bloke walks into a pub.
> >> >>His mate say's "Are you alright Bill?"
> >> >>Bill says "No, I was stung by a bee yesterday..."
> >> >>"What! At this time of year??"
> >> >>"Yeah.. 4 quid for a jar of honey..."
> >> >>
> >>
> >> He overpaid for the honey.. not funny anymore if you have to explain
> >> it....
> >>
> >> >>A bloke says to his wife "right! I'm off for my plane!"
> >> >>His wife panicks, and asks "where are you going??"
> >> >>"I'm gonna trim 2 inches off the toilet door..."
> >> >>
> >>
> >> Plane as in the tool for trimming woodwork...... planing a door... see
> >> not
> >> funny anymore....
> >>
> >> Boom shaka laka shaka laka shaka laka laka
> >
> > I'm British and unfortunately I understood it all. I'm still picking
> >the pieces of diced carrot out of my keyboard. BB.
>
> Try a cutting board next time. Plane one to fit over your
> keyboard.
> a plane keyboard may be sharp, but it won't have the num pad or
> f-keys......
> --
>
Keith Ehrle
On Fri, 17 Apr 1998 05:52:47 -0700, duh me <dat...@braindead.com>
wrote:
Maybe not, but it's got a great set of propellers.
Keith Martin
Keith Ehrle <kei...@bigfoot.com> wrote in article
<353ea3aa...@news.voyager.net>...
Keith Ehrle
On 18 Apr 1998 05:10:07 GMT, "Keith Martin"
<keith....@att.net> wrote:
>Then he won't jet it. KM
He might jettison it, though.
Keith Ehrle
On Fri, 17 Apr 1998 12:17:49 +0200, "Béla Ábrányi"
<c...@mail.datanet.hu> wrote:
>Keith Ehrle wrote:
>>On Fri, 17 Apr 1998 00:27:26 +0200, "Béla Ábrányi"
>>c...@mail.datanet.hu> wrote:
>
>>>Keith Ehrle wrote:
>>>
>>>> On Wed, 15 Apr 1998 11:54:05 +0200, "Béla Ábrányi"
>>>> <c...@mail.datanet.hu> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> >ElRoi1811 wrote:
>>>> >
>>>> >> >Sorry, but as an american, I don't get it.
>>>> >>
>>>> >> Let me try to translate....
>>>> >>
>>>> >> >>A bloke walks into a pub.
>>>> >> >>His mate say's "Are you alright Bill?"
>>>> >> >>Bill says "No, I was stung by a bee yesterday..."
>>>> >> >>"What! At this time of year??"
>>>> >> >>"Yeah.. 4 quid for a jar of honey..."
>>>> >> >>
>>>> >>
>>>> >> He overpaid for the honey.. not funny anymore if you have to
>>>> >> explain it....
>>>> >>
>>>> >> >>A bloke says to his wife "right! I'm off for my plane!"
>>>> >> >>His wife panicks, and asks "where are you going??"
>>>> >> >>"I'm gonna trim 2 inches off the toilet door..."
>>>> >> >>
>>>> >>
>>>> >> Plane as in the tool for trimming woodwork...... planing a door...
>>>> >> see not funny anymore....
>>>> >>
>>>> >> Boom shaka laka shaka laka shaka laka laka
>>>> >
>>>> > I'm British and unfortunately I understood it all. I'm still picking
>>>> >the pieces of diced carrot out of my keyboard. BB.
>>>>
>>>> Try a cutting board next time. Plane one to fit over your
>>>> keyboard.
>>>
>>> I had one, but the puke just ate its way right through the bitch. BB.
>>
>>Try making one from wood instead of woman. For cutting boards,
>>it's a much more durable material
>
> Yes, but the planing is not as enjoyable. BB.
No, but just think of the knotholes!!!
Béla Ábrányi
Keith Ehrle wrote:
And the splinters? BB.