What to say when you answer the phone?
P I
"Hello?"
editor
"maggie's whorehouse, we don't give a fuck for nothin"
Des Bromilow
Nambour morgue. You stab them, we slab them.
Denise Dunn
How about "Guiseppe's Pizza bar, may I take your order"
or "City Morgue - you kill them we chill them"
CHRISTOPHER A. SMITH
On Wed, 21 May 1997, Andy wrote:
> On Fri, 16 May 1997, Kodiak wrote:
>
> > Marc Kilpatrick wrote:
> > >
> > > I am looking for something to say when I answer the phone.
> > > Like:
> > > " Joe's taxadremy; you snuff 'em we stuff 'em."
> > >
> > > My personal favorite is:
> > > "Acme firetruck rental"
> > >
> > > Marc "The only thing worse than not getting messages, is getting
> > > messages" Kilpatrick
> >
> > I tend to go with the classics: "Domino's Pizza. How may I help you?"
> >
> >
> How bout a bit more extravagant..."Parliament House. Neradeth speaking."
> The only place I can find a Neradeth is in a parliament house...
>
>
How bout this one:
Caller: Hello can I speak to <insert name>?
Person answering: No, I'm terribly sorry, they died last week...<hang up>
This may be better served with the how to piss of telemarketers
thread...but it's here now!
Randal
On Wed, 21 May 1997 10:13:22 GMT, ric...@wantree.com.au (Straub)
wrote:
>On 16 May 1997 20:28:31 GMT, rjp...@ix.netcom.com(sysRick Phillips)
>wrote:
>
>>In <022c7f86$f9d425a0$84ababce@KarenWoodruff> "Blue Eyes"
>><ka...@goldrush.com> writes:
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>JET wrote
>>>> Joe's meat market "Nobody beats our meat"
>>>>
>>>> Marc Kilpatrick wrote
>>>> > I am looking for something to say when I answer the phone.
>>>> > Like:
>>>> > " Joe's taxadremy; you snuff 'em we stuff 'em."
>>>> >
>>>> > My personal favorite is:
>>>> > "Acme firetruck rental"
>>>> >
>>>> > Marc "The only thing worse than not getting messages, is getting
>>>> > messages" Kilpatrick
>>>> >
>>>> How about- City morgue........... you stab em, we slab em.
>>>> " I'm sorry she can't come to the phone right now, my dicks in her
>>mouth!"
>
>"bettys abortion clinic, you rape 'em, we scrape 'em" - no fetus can beat us!
Bart Prins
> > All of us have been pissed off more often than not by telemarketeers.
> > Anyone have any witty or nastily irritating replies?
>
> This is one of my favs.
>
> Umm I'm busy right now, how about you give me your home telephone number
> and I'll call you? how does 3 am sound?
>
How 'bout:
I'm really very busy now, could you please call back next century?
Jacques Magill
Denise Dunn wrote:
>
> How about "Guiseppe's Pizza bar, may I take your order"
> or "City Morgue - you kill them we chill them"
Chainsaw
davem wrote:
>
> On 18 May 1997 06:40:43 GMT, "Sanjay Uchil" <uc...@engr.umbc.edu>
> wrote:
>
> >All of us have been pissed off more often than not by telemarketeers.
> >Anyone have any witty or nastily irritating replies?
> >
> >
>
> hanging up. (Click)
...My favourite was just to say, "I'm sorry, my head is completely
filled with fruit and cheese." and hang up.
--
**********************************************************************
"What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend,
it ceases to exist." -Salman Rushdie
mailto:Chai...@Buffnet.net http://www.buffnet.net/~chainsaw
**************Live from Lat: 42.8883667 Lon: -78.5726624**************
Chris Newman
Tom Moore <bl...@applied.net> wrote in article
<337D26...@applied.net>...
> Brian Veroba wrote:
> >
> > >> I am looking for something to say when I answer the phone.
> > >>Like:
> > >> " Joe's taxadremy; you snuff 'em we stuff 'em."
> > "Hell, extension 42, may I help you?"
>
>
> how bout,"Joes tavern,liquer in the front, poker in the rear"
rus...@delphi.com
Chainsaw <Chai...@buffnet.net> writes:
>> >All of us have been pissed off more often than not by telemarketeers.
>> >Anyone have any witty or nastily irritating replies?
>> >
on for a minute?" Then set the phone on the table. Fo fun, you
can keep a list of how long before you hear the click.
Jet Silver
>> >All of us have been pissed off more often than not by telemarketeers.
>> >Anyone have any witty or nastily irritating replies?
>> >
Ask, "Are you wearing boxers or briefs?" , or "How big are your breasts?"
J
R Bowles
When the phone rings:-
"Hello city morgue, - Chief cadaver speaking"
gav
Louis Ptak wrote:
>
> kli...@jacksonmi.com wrote:
>
> On Wed, 21 May 1997 09:39:54 +1000, Andy
> <n221...@student.fit.qut.edu.au> wrote:
>
>
> Some of my personal favs
> : Medical Examiner's office, how can I help you?
> Jack's All-Purpose Sex Toys, whaddya need?
> McDonald's, how may we serve you?
> Simply scream "what?" at the top of your lungs.
How about Christchurch Abortion Clinic, you make 'em, we scrape 'em,
no feotus has ever beat us.
gav
timmy
In article <33891A...@student.canterbury.ac.nz>, gav <gdb45@student.
canterbury.ac.nz> writes
Christchurch Barbeque Centre; you kill 'em, we grill 'em
Christchurch Taxidermist; you snuff 'em, we stuff 'em
--
Tim
RecoilRex
>How about Christchurch Abortion Clinic, you make 'em, we scrape
'em,
>no feotus has ever beat us.
>
>gav
>
>
Now *that one* actually belonged on this NG!!
ROTFLMGDAO!!!!
-Karl-
High Priest Of Senseless Banter
OMC Representin'!
LAWRENCE BETTERIDGE
House of ECSTACY - WHat's your pleasure?
_*(your name)*_'s brothel?
Michael Livingston
Say "This is not really a good time for me, can I call you back" when
they refuse to give you their number say "why, because you don't like
being rung at home by complete strangers? Well now you know how I
feel!"
Mick
Tamara Cech
Michael Livingston (n216...@student.fit.qut.edu) wrote:
> Mick
This was on Seinfeld. Good come back but not original. Oh well. No diss
intended.
Tam-tam
Golfer
Who Dunnit wrote:
>
> RecoilRex wrote:
> >
> > In article <33891A...@student.canterbury.ac.nz>, gav
> > <gd...@student.canterbury.ac.nz> writes:
> >
> > >How about Christchurch Abortion Clinic, you make 'em, we scrape
> > 'em,
> > >no feotus has ever beat us.
>
What gets me is when someone has oviously called the wrong number and
they say "Who is this?" And I respond, "How the hell should I know, I
cann't see ya!"
Bryan D Mullholand
When someone calls me to get me to switch phone companies I tell them
"Sorry but I don't have a phone." and then just listen to the silence.
Who Dunnit
brian
> > >> > I am looking for something to say when I answer the
> > phone.
> > >> > Like:
> > >> > " Joe's taxadremy; you snuff 'em we stuff 'em."
> > >> > My personal favorite is:
> > >> > "Acme firetruck rental
> > Full Erection Crane Service!
> Some of my personal favs
> : Medical Examiner's office, how can I help you?
> Jack's All-Purpose Sex Toys, whaddya need?
> McDonald's, how may we serve you?
> Simply scream "what?" at the top of your lungs.
What about:
"Underground Airways, can we take your booking.
"Sams Bakery....Which Tart would you like to speak to?"
"Clements Funeral home...Which coffin do you wish to confer with?'
Or just answer the phone like a recorded message...."Please leave your
message after the tone"
Thomo
Goonfather
How about (with apologies to Phish): This isn't who it would be if it
wasn't who it is. That'll make them think for a bit.
The Goonfather
--
Arguing with me just proves that I know more than you
Hoff
RecoilRex wrote:
>
> In article <33891A...@student.canterbury.ac.nz>, gav
> <gd...@student.canterbury.ac.nz> writes:
>
> >How about Christchurch Abortion Clinic, you make 'em, we scrape
> 'em,
> >no feotus has ever beat us.
> >
> >
> >
>
> Now *that one* actually belonged on this NG!!
> ROTFLMGDAO!!!!
>
> -Karl-
> High Priest Of Senseless Banter
>
> OMC Representin'!
Well I'll be dipped in cheese whiz! How the hell are you!
Hoff
======
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.
Raymond W Jensen
timmy <tsqu...@tsquires.demon.co.uk> wrote:
In article <33891A...@student.canterbury.ac.nz>, gav <gdb45@student.
canterbury.ac.nz> writes
>Louis Ptak wrote:
>> kli...@jacksonmi.com wrote:
>> Andy<n221...@student.fit.qut.edu.au> wrote:
>> Some of my personal favs
>> : Medical Examiner's office, how can I help you?
>> Jack's All-Purpose Sex Toys, whaddya need?
>> McDonald's, how may we serve you?
>> Simply scream "what?" at the top of your lungs.
>
>How about Christchurch Abortion Clinic, you make 'em, we scrape 'em,
>no feotus has ever beat us.
Christchurch Barbeque Centre; you kill 'em, we grill 'em
Christchurch Taxidermist; you snuff 'em, we stuff 'em
Christchurch Whorehouse: Ya got money and you're horny?
We'll give ya honey 'til the morny!
WDenn82157
How about,"Suicide Prevention. Can you hold?".
Rotes Sapiens
On Tue, 27 May 1997 14:48:14 -0400, Who Dunnit <verba...@jail.keys>
wrote:
>RecoilRex wrote:
>> In article <33891A...@student.canterbury.ac.nz>, gav
>> <gd...@student.canterbury.ac.nz> writes:
>> >How about Christchurch Abortion Clinic, you make 'em, we scrape
>> 'em,
>> >no feotus has ever beat us.
>What about... Batcave, Robin speaking....
This is even funnier if you say it in a really gay voice.
Alex Kirkpatrick
City morgue, you stab 'em we'll slab 'em.
(Hope this isn't a repeat. I don't seem to have the beginning of this
thread)
--
Alex Kirkpatrick
http://www.impulse.net/~lucky
They won't catch us. We're on a mission from God.
-The Blues Brothers
Rizwan Ahmad
HOw about
Burgr kang whatz yo beef
Luke Meyers (my...@sim.zipcon.net) is accused of saying:
: My dad told me that his brother once answered the phone (when the
: principal of their school was calling) in the following manner:
:
: Meyers' mortuary, you stab 'em we slab 'em.
: Some go to heaven, some go to hellllooo there!
Rizwan Ahmad
riza...@csd.uwm.edu, r...@nap.net
http://www.uwm.edu/~rizahmad
Nap.Net Lead NOC Tech 747-8747
The only thing$ you need in life are computer$, car$, and more car$
1977 MB 450 $EL, 1996 Toyota Corolla DX,
1988 Ni$$an Pickup Drop Top (Not no more I gave it to my brother)
"I'm not comming to work today the voice$ told me to clean my gun$!"
Niles
On 20 May 1997, Kip McCormick wrote:
#: Brian Veroba wrote:
#: >
#: > I am looking for something to say when I answer the phone.
#
#hell, i like to answer it with a nice
#
#"Hello, can i please speak to Keith?" - that throws the caller way off.
I've got some good lines in phone answering - I answer for about thirty
people in my block, and they all complain at me
(CAMP VOICE)
"Rent boys R us, hot buttucks faster?"
"Is Roger there?"
"I'm sorry, he's with a client right now"
(DEEP VOICE)
"Transvestites Hotline, Mandy speaking"
(Recorded voice)
"Thankyou for calling Broadgate Block G. I'm afraid there are no operators
available to take your call right now, but if you hold we will deal with
your call as soon as we can" Hang up.
But I welcome new suggestions.
--
THINK!! (or thwim) attrib. to Nigel Rees
ALEX FOSTER | afy...@unix.ccc.nottingham.ac.uk | www.nott.ac.uk/~afy9faj
Offense caused is never intentional. (Well, almost never)
Scott Emerson Jubinville
WDenn82157 (wdenn...@aol.com) wrote:
: How about,"Suicide Prevention. Can you hold?".
"City morgue --- you stab 'em, we slab 'em; you kill 'em, we chill 'em
SJRobb
"brian" <Br...@hn.pl.net> wrote:
>
>
>> > >> > I am looking for something to say when I answer the
>> > phone.
>> > >> > Like:
>> > >> > " Joe's taxadremy; you snuff 'em we stuff 'em."
>> > >> > My personal favorite is:
>> > >> > "Acme firetruck rental
>> > Full Erection Crane Service!
>> Some of my personal favs
>> : Medical Examiner's office, how can I help you?
>> Jack's All-Purpose Sex Toys, whaddya need?
>> McDonald's, how may we serve you?
>> Simply scream "what?" at the top of your lungs.
>
>What about:
>"Underground Airways, can we take your booking.
>"Sams Bakery....Which Tart would you like to speak to?"
>"Clements Funeral home...Which coffin do you wish to confer with?'
>Or just answer the phone like a recorded message...."Please leave your
>message after the tone"
>
>Thomo
>
Hows about answering by saying: "Hello, is Mary/John/Sam there?" or
"Hello, can I speak to Sue?"
Hadji
Scott Emerson Jubinville (seju...@acs5.acs.ucalgary.ca) wrote:
: "City morgue --- you stab 'em, we slab 'em; you kill 'em, we chill 'em
Abortion Clinic: You fuck 'em, we pluck 'em.
--
hexlux
In article <5n4tcl$n...@ds2.acs.ucalgary.ca>,
seju...@acs5.acs.ucalgary.ca says...
>
>WDenn82157 (wdenn...@aol.com) wrote:
>: How about,"Suicide Prevention. Can you hold?".
>
>
>"City morgue --- you stab 'em, we slab 'em; you kill 'em, we chill 'em
"joe's abortion clinic --- you rape 'em we scrape 'em; no fetus can beat
us".
>8^)~
PHELCOMM
Milt's Mortuary, You kill 'em, We'll chill 'em.
Mike Oxhard
County Landfill....can I help you Please?
Hadji <ak...@netcom.com> wrote in article <akinEBK...@netcom.com>...
> Scott Emerson Jubinville (seju...@acs5.acs.ucalgary.ca) wrote:
> : WDenn82157 (wdenn...@aol.com) wrote:
> : : How about,"Suicide Prevention. Can you hold?".
>
>
> : "City morgue --- you stab 'em, we slab 'em; you kill 'em, we chill 'em
>
David A. Maxwell
"Mike Oxhard" <ama...@cu-online.com> wrote:
>County Landfill....can I help you Please?
>
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"Dave Maxwell's Coffin Company. You just ask it, we've got the
casket."
It so happens I have fairly deep voice that I can make slow and
gravelly with little effort. I love to fuck up the marketing assholes
who call me by doing a Lurch impression. <Pick Up> "Yooouuuuuu
Raaaaaanngg?" Hell, some people hang up right then.
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Key ID: pub 1024/CEE2C9B5 dmax...@iwaynet.net
Get my Public Key at :http//www.iwaynet.net/~dmaxwell
Key also available from keyservers.
Michael G. Parker
How about this old one:
Harry's Abortion Clinic - You rape 'em, we scrape 'em
No foetus can beat us!
:)
Clyde 9
Mule barn, best ass in town.....
Rich
"Iggy's Whorehouse - quality control speaking".
White Wolf
Scott Emerson Jubinville wrote:
> REYDOG (rey...@aol.com) wrote:
> : city fire dept. you light em - we fight em
> : city morgue. you kill em - we chill em
> : city morgue. you stab em - we slab em
> : joe's abortion. you make em - we scrape em -- no fetus can beat us
> : corner pool hall. head cue ball speaking
>
> :
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> : ---------------------
> : TOO BAD IGNORANCE ISN'T PAINFULL
> Joe's Massage Parlor, we never rub you the wrong way
House of the Lord, God speaking.
Good afternoon, Grand Central Station, can I help you? (said after a
particularly busy phone day)
White Wolf
--
<------ Of all the things I ever lost, I miss my mind the most.------>
Gwyn Alexander Jameson
Den of Iniquity, Denmother speaking...
--
Gwyndyn Alexander Jameson "God is an Iron"
gw...@ricochet.net - Spider Robinson
Fred Cherry
Good afternoon. Kings County Truss Company. Your rupture is our rapture.
jo...@world.std.com (Fred Cherry)
MICHAEL SHAY
Heaven, God speaking.
* * * * * **** * *
* * * ** * * * *
* * * * * * *** *
* * * * ** * * *
* * * * * **** *
On Sun, 31 Aug 1997, Blackhawk wrote:
> 397 wrote:
> >
> > cool.c...@juno.com (Marc Kilpatrick) wrote:
> >
> > > I am looking for something to say when I answer the phone.
> > >Like:
> > > " Joe's taxadremy; you snuff 'em we stuff 'em."
> >
> > >My personal favorite is:
> > >"Acme firetruck rental"
> >
> > >Marc "The only thing worse than not getting messages, is getting
> > >messages" Kilpatrick
> >
> > "County Morgue -You Kill'em, We Chill'em!"
>
> How about this one....
>
> "Butler Crematorium, you kill 'em, we grill 'em!"
> -----------------------------------------------------
> ** **** **
> ***** ******** *****
> ******* ********* *******
> ******** * ******* ********
> ********* ********* *********
> *****************************************************
> *****************************************************
> *****************************************************
> *************
> *****************
> ***********************
> *************
> ***
>
> BLACKHAWK
> d971...@mail.connect.usq.edu.au
>
>
little 'ol Me
how about..
"Acme Abortion Clinic... you fuck 'em, we pluck 'em..... you rape 'em, we
scape 'em... How may I help you?"
Or
"County Morgue - You stab em .... we slab em.... You Kill'em, We Chill'em!"
Blackhawk <.d971...@mail.connect.usq.edu.au> wrote in article
<3409F0...@mail.connect.usq.edu.au>...
Beamer Smith
"little 'ol Me" <lo...@swlink.net> wrote:
> how about..
>"Acme Abortion Clinic... you fuck 'em, we pluck 'em..... you rape 'em, we
>scape 'em... How may I help you?"
and No fetus can beat us....
dste...@oanet.com
On Sat, 6 Sep 1997 00:34:08 -0700, "little 'ol Me" <lo...@swlink.net>
wrote:
>|-----------------------------------------------------
>| ** **** **
>| ***** ******** *****
>| ******* ********* *******
>| ******** * ******* ********
>|********* ********* *********
>|*****************************************************
>|*****************************************************
>|*****************************************************
>| *************
>| *****************
>| ***********************
>| *************
>| ***
>|
>| BLACKHAWK
>| d971...@mail.connect.usq.edu.au
>
>
what's with the fuckin' symbol? are you the artist formerly known as
'i was never realy an artist to begin with'? what is that? some kinda
pitchfork or somethin'? oooooooooh, i'm scared. look at the pitch fork
guys. mommy, blakhork scare me! waaaah! help mommy....and blah, blah,
blah
Steven F. Scharff
MICHAEL SHAY <n218...@sparrow.qut.edu.au> wrote in article
<Pine.OSF.3.93.970903...@sparrow.qut.edu.au>...
|
| Heaven, God speaking.
|
|
| * * * * * **** * *
| * * * ** * * * *
| * * * * * * *** *
| * * * * ** * * *
| * * * * * **** *
|
| On Sun, 31 Aug 1997, Blackhawk wrote:
|
| > 397 wrote:
| > >
| > > cool.c...@juno.com (Marc Kilpatrick) wrote:
| > >
| > > > I am looking for something to say when I answer the phone.
| > > >Like:
| > > > " Joe's taxadremy; you snuff 'em we stuff 'em."
| > >
| > > >My personal favorite is:
| > > >"Acme firetruck rental"
| > >
| > > >Marc "The only thing worse than not getting messages, is getting
| > > >messages" Kilpatrick
| > >
| > > "County Morgue -You Kill'em, We Chill'em!"
| >
| > How about this one....
| >
| > "Butler Crematorium, you kill 'em, we grill 'em!"
"Institute For Global Domination"
(Playing a tape of someone laughing hysterically in the background) "Arkam
Asylum for the Homicidally Insane, Dr. Kane speaking."
"Sexaholics Anonymous"
"Time Travel Labs, can you hold on for a minute?"
(After dropping the phone several times) "Precision Efficiency Experts"
(Imitating Sylvester the Cat, with a very heavy lisp) "Saugerties Speech
Therapy Center, Doctor Smith speaking. Can I be of your assistance?"
(Shouting) "TOUGH GUYS INCORPORATED. WHADDYA WANT?"
Or just pick up the phone as if YOU had made the call ("Hi, is George
there?").
--
Steven F. Scharff <http://www.angelfire.com/nv/scharff/>
Remove "REMOVETHIS" to reply
SIC HOC LEGERE SCIS NIMIUM ERUDITIONIS HABES
"Modern man associates himself with the ancient world,
not to reflect it like a mirror, but to capture it's spirit
and apply it in a modern way." - Palladio
=======================
"Can God deliver a religion addict?" - Marjoe Gortner, Ex-Evangelist
Frank Nichols
dste...@oanet.com wrote in article <3411a4b0...@nntp.oanet.com>...
I think it's supposed to be a blackhawk or something.
=P
KevenHY
In article <5va0k1$va$1...@news01.deltanet.com>, "Frank Nichols"
<fra...@hotmail.com> writes:
>? oooooooooh, i'm scared. look at the pitch fork
>>guys. mommy, blakhork scare me! waaaah! help mommy....and blah, blah,
>>blah
>
>I think it's supposed to be a blackhawk or something.
>=P
>
>
Thats about as rad as my MCI sigs back in the C=64 dayz! HAHAHAHAHA
-Keven
Andrew Wyer
Frank Nichols wrote:
>
> I think it's supposed to be a blackhawk or something.
> =P
Nonsense, a blackhawk has two rotors and kills soldiers
aw
Mr. E One
AIDS Hotline. Got a Gun?
Eric Atwood
On 9 Sep 1997 20:09:49 GMT, "Steven F. Scharff"
<sch...@REMOVETHISpowernet.net> wrote:
lol
Russell Gander
How about
Mac's abortion clinic, you rape 'em, we scrape 'em. No foetus can beatus !!
Eric Atwood <bea...@blast.net> wrote in article
<EGKo3...@nonexistent.com>...
Marc Kilpatrick
Kirby
So-and-So's Mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em
or
So-and-So's Whore House, you got the bread, we got the spread.
Kirby
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn!
The Puddies
"City morgue, you slay 'em, we lay 'em"
--
******************************************************
Peter and Evelyn Ruut
Marc Kilpatrick <cool.c...@juno.com> wrote in article
<33762019...@news.magicnet.net>...
397
cool.c...@juno.com (Marc Kilpatrick) wrote:
> I am looking for something to say when I answer the phone.
>Like:
> " Joe's taxadremy; you snuff 'em we stuff 'em."
>My personal favorite is:
>"Acme firetruck rental"
>Marc "The only thing worse than not getting messages, is getting
>messages" Kilpatrick
"County Morgue -You Kill'em, We Chill'em!"
CITSECLIFE
A couple of my favorites:
Wolf's Abortion Service: You rape 'em, We scrape 'em there's no fetus
that can beat us
Also instead of answering the phone with a hello, try saying goodbye, you
will be suprised at the number of people that will say goodbye back and
hang up the phone. I would love to see their expressions in trying to
figure out what the hell just happened.
Dave Lister
The Puddies wrote:
>
> "City morgue, you slay 'em, we lay 'em"
> --
> ******************************************************
> Peter and Evelyn Ruut
>
> Marc Kilpatrick <cool.c...@juno.com> wrote in article
> <33762019...@news.magicnet.net>...
> > Like:
> > " Joe's taxadremy; you snuff 'em we stuff 'em."
> >
> > My personal favorite is:
> > "Acme firetruck rental"
> >
> > Marc "The only thing worse than not getting messages, is getting
> > messages" Kilpatrick
> >
Brian Veroba
>> I am looking for something to say when I answer the phone.
>>Like:
>> " Joe's taxadremy; you snuff 'em we stuff 'em."
>>My personal favorite is:
>>"Acme firetruck rental"
>>Marc "The only thing worse than not getting messages, is getting
>>messages" Kilpatrick
>"County Morgue -You Kill'em, We Chill'em!"
How about:
Bill's abortion shop
you rape 'em, we scrape 'em
no fetus can beat us
Bill speaking
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
Richard McRae
397 <hin...@amel.tds.net> wrote in article <5laeec$r...@news2.tds.net>...
> cool.c...@juno.com (Marc Kilpatrick) wrote:
>
> > I am looking for something to say when I answer the phone.
> >Like:
> > " Joe's taxadremy; you snuff 'em we stuff 'em."
>
> >My personal favorite is:
> >"Acme firetruck rental"
>
> >Marc "The only thing worse than not getting messages, is getting
> >messages" Kilpatrick
>
> "County Morgue -You Kill'em, We Chill'em!"
>
>
We always used these:
McRae Mortuary - You Stab'em, we Slab'em
McRae Adoption agency - You make'em, we take'em
I also used to answer "McRae Psychic Hotline", then when they would say
"Uhmmm
.... this is <whoever>", I would say "I knew that."
Blue Eyes
JET wrote
> Joe's meat market "Nobody beats our meat"
>
> Marc Kilpatrick wrote
> > I am looking for something to say when I answer the phone.
> > Like:
> > " Joe's taxadremy; you snuff 'em we stuff 'em."
> >
> > My personal favorite is:
> > "Acme firetruck rental"
> >
> > Marc "The only thing worse than not getting messages, is getting
> > messages" Kilpatrick
> >
> How about- City morgue........... you stab em, we slab em.
Kodiak
Marc Kilpatrick wrote:
>
> I am looking for something to say when I answer the phone.
> Like:
> " Joe's taxadremy; you snuff 'em we stuff 'em."
>
> My personal favorite is:
> "Acme firetruck rental"
>
> Marc "The only thing worse than not getting messages, is getting
> messages" Kilpatrick
I tend to go with the classics: "Domino's Pizza. How may I help you?"
Tom Moore
Brian Veroba wrote:
>
> >> I am looking for something to say when I answer the phone.
> >>Like:
> >> " Joe's taxadremy; you snuff 'em we stuff 'em."
sysRick Phillips
In <022c7f86$f9d425a0$84ababce@KarenWoodruff> "Blue Eyes">> Marc Kilpatrick wrote
>> > Like:
>> > " Joe's taxadremy; you snuff 'em we stuff 'em."
>> >
>> > "Acme firetruck rental"
>> >
>> > Marc "The only thing worse than not getting messages, is getting
>> > messages" Kilpatrick
>> >
mouth!"
Conor Hogan
citse...@aol.com (CITSECLIFE) writes:
>A couple of my favorites:
>Wolf's Abortion Service: You rape 'em, We scrape 'em there's no fetus
>that can beat us
I like answering the phone with 'Hello, can I speak to Dave please?'
Confuses the arse off men women and children
...the young boy stood looking up the road to the future.In the distance both
sides appeared to converge together."That is due to perspective,when you reach
there the road is as wide as it is here",said an old wise man.The young boy set
off on the road,but,as he went on,both sides of the road converged until he
could go no further.He returned to ask the old man what to do,
but the old man was dead. (sm) Conor Hogan ste...@maths.tcd.ie
Hans Breuer
Catholic horse sauna El Paso, may we help you?
Kevin O'Connor
"Sanjay Uchil" <uc...@engr.umbc.edu> wrote:
>All of us have been pissed off more often than not by telemarketeers.
>Anyone have any witty or nastily irritating replies?
"Yes , hello Mr. X. I would like to take this opportunity to introduce
you to our grand openning offer..."
"I don't have time for this. <CLICK!!!>"
Kip McCormick
: Brian Veroba wrote:
: >
: > I am looking for something to say when I answer the phone.
hell, i like to answer it with a nice
"Hello, can i please speak to Keith?" - that throws the caller way off.
outlaww
davem <da...@cpnet.net> wrote in article
<3380b448...@news.cpnet.net>...
> On 18 May 1997 06:40:43 GMT, "Sanjay Uchil" <uc...@engr.umbc.edu>
> wrote:
>
> >All of us have been pissed off more often than not by telemarketeers.
> >Anyone have any witty or nastily irritating replies?
> >
> >
>
> Perhaps you can help me. "Yes" Tell me does this sound like a phone
> hanging up. (Click)
>
>>>"Fuck You" always worked for me.
>>>
Shay23
Sanjay Uchil wrote:
>
> All of us have been pissed off more often than not by telemarketeers.
> Anyone have any witty or nastily irritating replies?
This is one of my favs.
Umm I'm busy right now, how about you give me your home telephone number
and I'll call you? how does 3 am sound?
waaaz he sain?
On 20 May 1997 16:17:58 GMT, kmcc...@uoguelph.ca (Kip McCormick)
wrote:
>: Brian Veroba wrote:
>: >
>: > I am looking for something to say when I answer the phone.
"Police Department - your call is being recorded."
They usually just hang up and call back. Just keep doing it.
Kristina
Tina's whorehouse, how may I help you????
It normally shocks the h*ll out of the person on the other end..
Kristina
Yooperman
> I am looking for something to say when I answer the phone.
> " Joe's taxadremy; you snuff 'em we stuff 'em."
>
> My personal favorite is:
> "Acme firetruck rental"
>
> Marc "The only thing worse than not getting messages, is getting
> messages" Kilpatrick
Douglas D.. Anderson
"Nobody wants to talk to you right now- at the tone leave a brief
message and we might get back to you."
"If this is a true emergency hang up and call 911 now. Otherwise stay
on the line and the next available operator will take your call.
Average wait time is... 60 minutes".
"We are currently experiencing unusual visual and auditory
halucinations, and are unable to communicate."
"Your call is important to us, but you aren't, so just go away."
alfieboy...@gmail.com
> I am looking for something to say when I answer the phone.
> Like:
> " Joe's taxadremy; you snuff 'em we stuff 'em."
>
> My personal favorite is:
> "Acme firetruck rental"
>
> Marc "The only thing worse than not getting messages, is getting
> messages" Kilpatrick
Douglas D.. Anderson
wrote:
available operator. Average wait time... five days."
3) "I'm standing by the phone deciding whether to pick up. Please say
something at the tone and if it sounds important I'll pick it up,
otherwise leave a message if you feel a need to do so."
4) "If this is a true emergency call 911 now, because I'm busy and
don't give a fuck about your personal problems."
5) If the number isn't in your contact list "Thank you for choosing
Marriott yourself, bitch."
6) "W przypadku jezyka polskiego nacisnij teraz klawisz 11."