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Father of the Year

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Ivan Awfulitch

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Jan 10, 2012, 2:10:55 AM1/10/12
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A man boarded a plane with six children. After they got settled in their
seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and
asked, "Are all of those children yours?"

He replied, "No Madam. I work for a condom company. These are customer
complaints."

MÐ

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Jan 10, 2012, 12:44:35 PM1/10/12
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On Tue, 10 Jan 2012 07:10:55 GMT, Ivan Awfulitch <iv...@nuttyisp.com>
wrote:

>A man boarded a plane <snip>

this one falls short in every respect of the phrase.. a lame, heavily
recycled "joke" absolutely devoid of humor

epic fail

Sebastian Tombs

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Jan 10, 2012, 3:40:09 PM1/10/12
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In article <g6uog7t391t5gdcbc...@4ax.com>,
And you have posted how many that are better? Ivan has a pretty decent
track record, and this ain't bad, actually.

Keep it up, Ivan.

M�

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Jan 10, 2012, 11:59:42 PM1/10/12
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On Tue, 10 Jan 2012 13:40:09 -0700, Sebastian Tombs
<Sim...@canada.com> wrote:

>In article <g6uog7t391t5gdcbc...@4ax.com>,
> M? <M?@?sS??.??m> wrote:
>
>> On Tue, 10 Jan 2012 07:10:55 GMT, Ivan Awfulitch <iv...@nuttyisp.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>> >A man boarded a plane <snip>
>>
>> this one falls short in every respect of the phrase.. a lame, heavily
>> recycled "joke" absolutely devoid of humor
>>
>> epic fail
>
>And you have posted how many that are better?

Literally thousands..

>Ivan has a pretty decent
>track record, and this ain't bad, actually.

Why did you put a comma before that "and" ..has someone run your skull
through a wood chipper?

>Keep it up, Ivan.

There's no hope for Ivan ..he needs to slit his throat and call it a
day

Dean Dark

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Jan 11, 2012, 5:11:11 AM1/11/12
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On Tue, 10 Jan 2012 21:59:42 -0700, M� <M�@�sS��.��m> wrote:

>>Ivan has a pretty decent
>>track record, and this ain't bad, actually.
>
>Why did you put a comma before that "and" ..has someone run your skull
>through a wood chipper?
>
>>Keep it up, Ivan.
>
>There's no hope for Ivan ..he needs to slit his throat and call it a
>day

If that's meant to be an ellipsis in there, then you definitely need
to brush up on your grammar before you start giving advice to others
on that subject.

Sebastian Tombs

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Jan 11, 2012, 10:13:24 PM1/11/12
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In article <7onqg7tnouvtro58o...@4ax.com>,
Dean Dark <dmd...@gmailNOTTHISPART.com> wrote:
I think this guy is trying to start a flame war. I have kill filtered
him.

It is supposed to be a humour group. These guys that think that they
get to dictate what others post as amusing are a colossal pain in the
ass, and should be used as proof that first cousins can mate, but should
not bear offspring - at least, not from within the marriage.

The guy ain't funny, and we must ignore him if the group is to thrive
and flourish.

Sebastian Tombs

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Jan 11, 2012, 10:16:44 PM1/11/12
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In article <g6uog7t391t5gdcbc...@4ax.com>,
M? <M?@?sS??.??m> wrote:

Hello again, loser!

Get a life, or get thee to a morgue. Funny? Who ever heard of you,
anyway?

I think if we all urinate on it, it cannot start a flame war.

When you go home, be careful that your mother does not run out from
under the porch and bite you!

MÐ

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Jan 12, 2012, 11:33:38 PM1/12/12
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On Wed, 11 Jan 2012 05:11:11 -0500, Dean Dark
<dmd...@gmailNOTTHISPART.com> wrote:
I ain't editable, shleprock..

MÐ

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Jan 12, 2012, 11:42:22 PM1/12/12
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On Wed, 11 Jan 2012 20:13:24 -0700, Sebastian Tombs
<Sim...@canada.com> wrote:

>In article <7onqg7tnouvtro58o...@4ax.com>,
> Dean Dark <dmd...@gmailNOTTHISPART.com> wrote:
>
>> On Tue, 10 Jan 2012 21:59:42 -0700, MÐ <MÐ@ÅsS¹Ð.çøm> wrote:
>>
>> >>Ivan has a pretty decent
>> >>track record, and this ain't bad, actually.
>> >
>> >Why did you put a comma before that "and" ..has someone run your skull
>> >through a wood chipper?
>> >
>> >>Keep it up, Ivan.
>> >
>> >There's no hope for Ivan ..he needs to slit his throat and call it a
>> >day
>>
>> If that's meant to be an ellipsis in there, then you definitely need
>> to brush up on your grammar before you start giving advice to others
>> on that subject.
>
>I think this guy is trying to start a flame war. I have kill filtered
>him.

People have tried that and literally vanished a few days later, never
to be seen again..

>It is supposed to be a humour group.

This is no joke group. I've taken over moderation and rewritten the
FAQ.

> These guys that think that they
>get to dictate what others post as amusing are a colossal pain in the
>ass, and should be used as proof that first cousins can mate, but should
>not bear offspring - at least, not from within the marriage.

That's a weak ass flame, SeMeNgArGlEr

>The guy ain't funny, and we must ignore him if the group is to thrive
>and flourish.

The group will flourish under my direction or not at all. Resistance
is pointless.

MÐ

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Jan 12, 2012, 11:43:26 PM1/12/12
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On Wed, 11 Jan 2012 20:16:44 -0700, Sebastian Tombs
<Sim...@canada.com> wrote:

>In article <g6uog7t391t5gdcbc...@4ax.com>,
> M? <M?@?sS??.??m> wrote:
>
>> On Tue, 10 Jan 2012 07:10:55 GMT, Ivan Awfulitch <iv...@nuttyisp.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>> >A man boarded a plane <snip>
>>
>> this one falls short in every respect of the phrase.. a lame, heavily
>> recycled "joke" absolutely devoid of humor
>>
>> epic fail
>
>Hello again, loser!

oh look.. a puffed-up fungus gnat

>Get a life, or get thee to a morgue.

Why'd you use "thee".. do you act out Shakespeare plays in bright
yellow tights?

>Funny? Who ever heard of you,
>anyway?

no one that's survived more than a few weeks..

>I think if we all urinate on it, it cannot start a flame war.

that's been tried ..the consequences are epic

>When you go home, be careful that your mother does not run out from
>under the porch and bite you!

If that's a mom flame, it's almost as weak as yer nym.

Dean Dark

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Jan 13, 2012, 7:02:57 AM1/13/12
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On Thu, 12 Jan 2012 21:33:38 -0700, MÐ <MÐ@ÅsS¹Ð.çøm> wrote:

>I ain't editable, shleprock..

You'll get bored and go away. Assholes are the tumbleweeds of Usenet.

You'll need to provide a well-structured 15,000 word rationale for why
you're any different.
Message has been deleted
Message has been deleted

MÐ

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Jan 14, 2012, 10:06:38 AM1/14/12
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On Fri, 13 Jan 2012 07:02:57 -0500, Dean Dark
<dmd...@gmailNOTTHISPART.com> wrote:

>On Thu, 12 Jan 2012 21:33:38 -0700, MÐ <MÐ@ÅsS¹Ð.çøm> wrote:
>
>>I ain't editable, shleprock..
>
>You'll get bored and go away. Assholes are the tumbleweeds of Usenet.

Just remember.. this was YOUR fault ..no one elses

<subscribing to alt.jokes>

>You'll need to provide a well-structured 15,000 word rationale for why
>you're any different.

how about 15,000 posts over the next year or so that plainly
illustrate the difference, hmm?

<setting up Browning M2 tripod>

MÐ

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Jan 14, 2012, 10:07:05 AM1/14/12
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On Fri, 13 Jan 2012 13:59:57 -0500, Keith E. <i.m....@aol.com> wrote:

>Rumor has it that on Wed, 11 Jan 2012 20:13:24 -0700, Sebastian
>Tombs <Sim...@canada.com> wrote:
>
>>I think this guy is trying to start a flame war. I have kill filtered
>>him.
>
>Congratulations!

what started as a simple crosspost ends up being Armageddon for
alt.jokes..

hic

MÐ

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Jan 14, 2012, 10:08:27 AM1/14/12
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On Fri, 13 Jan 2012 13:59:57 -0500, Keith E. <i.m....@aol.com> wrote:

>Rumor has it that on Tue, 10 Jan 2012 21:59:42 -0700, MÐ
><MÐ@ÅsS¹Ð.çøm> wrote:
>>>
>>>Ivan has a pretty decent
>>>track record, and this ain't bad, actually.
>>
>>Why did you put a comma before that "and" ..has someone run your skull
>>through a wood chipper?
>
>Max, spelling/grammar/punctuation lames were old fifteen years ago.

..the alt.jokes crowd reminds me of the pre-NNTP days, so that works
out perfect

Dean Dark

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Jan 14, 2012, 10:26:14 AM1/14/12
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On Sat, 14 Jan 2012 08:06:38 -0700, MÐ <MÐ@ÅsS¹Ð.çøm> wrote:

><setting up Browning M2 tripod>

In your mommy's basement?

<trembling in fear>
Message has been deleted

MÐ

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Jan 20, 2012, 10:27:42 PM1/20/12
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You're all about escalation, huh..

good

Dean Dark

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Jan 21, 2012, 6:07:26 AM1/21/12
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That's a big word for an eight-year-old.
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