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Re: Ass Hair is it normal?
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Checkmate
Apr 3, 2012, 7:05:43 PM4/3/12
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Checkmate!
First, check out what Sir Gregory Hall, Esq. said:
>
> My ass hair has grown to such a length that tiny grogans are
> constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my
> asscheeks.:either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off
> the lingering loaf (which required careful precision
> to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear,
> especially since I had no way of seeing what I was
> doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope
> that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter
> before the toilet paper
>
> This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't
> I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans
> will flow out like beer from a keg!" Such was my anal shaving idea. I
> performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor
> and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and
> shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the
> arduous process of ridding my ass of hair.
>
> Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of
> accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, Slowly, my twin mounds and
> the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless
> cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor
> one last time, and surveyed my work. My ass was smooth as
> ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were
> over. was only after I had removed it that I started to
> learn how much I had been taking it for granted when I walked out into the
> sun heading for class.
>
> After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to
> sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The
> sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing
> the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding
> past each other with every step. I thought about going
> to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to
> class
>
> Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling
> with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around
> my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my
> cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky
> shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my
> dorm, it started to itch like a swarm of ants was making
> its way up and down my crack.
> Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down
> there and scratching away
>
> Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat,
> and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were
> sliding back and forth against each other like a pair
> of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and
> attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of
> a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two
> mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free
> and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius
> started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe
> aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and
> blew back into my face my ass cheeks
> spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my
> body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit
> blowing right into my face wiping my ass at every opportunity
> two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the
> result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down
> between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.
Why wasn't this posted to alt.tasteless where it belongs?
--
Checkmate
KotAGoR XXXIV
Hammer of Thor, Feb. 2012
Copyright © 2012
all rights reserved
"its usually the lesser intelligent person , that comments
on the more intelligent person's , lack of intelligents"
-Dave Keating, AKA "Squiggles" the assworm, AKA %, explaining
intelligence
"we all think what we do has major significants"
-Squiggles explains why he spends so much time on Usenet... and why he
can't play Scrabble
Checkmate!
First, check out what Sir Gregory Hall, Esq. said:
>
> My ass hair has grown to such a length that tiny grogans are
> constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my
> asscheeks.:either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off
> the lingering loaf (which required careful precision
> to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear,
> especially since I had no way of seeing what I was
> doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope
> that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter
> before the toilet paper
>
> This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't
> I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans
> will flow out like beer from a keg!" Such was my anal shaving idea. I
> performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor
> and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and
> shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the
> arduous process of ridding my ass of hair.
>
> Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of
> accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, Slowly, my twin mounds and
> the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless
> cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor
> one last time, and surveyed my work. My ass was smooth as
> ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were
> over. was only after I had removed it that I started to
> learn how much I had been taking it for granted when I walked out into the
> sun heading for class.
>
> After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to
> sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The
> sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing
> the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding
> past each other with every step. I thought about going
> to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to
> class
>
> Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling
> with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around
> my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my
> cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky
> shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my
> dorm, it started to itch like a swarm of ants was making
> its way up and down my crack.
> Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down
> there and scratching away
>
> Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat,
> and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were
> sliding back and forth against each other like a pair
> of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and
> attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of
> a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two
> mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free
> and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius
> started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe
> aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and
> blew back into my face my ass cheeks
> spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my
> body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit
> blowing right into my face wiping my ass at every opportunity
> two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the
> result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down
> between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.
Why wasn't this posted to alt.tasteless where it belongs?
--
Checkmate
KotAGoR XXXIV
Hammer of Thor, Feb. 2012
Copyright © 2012
all rights reserved
"its usually the lesser intelligent person , that comments
on the more intelligent person's , lack of intelligents"
-Dave Keating, AKA "Squiggles" the assworm, AKA %, explaining
intelligence
"we all think what we do has major significants"
-Squiggles explains why he spends so much time on Usenet... and why he
can't play Scrabble
Pantheras
Apr 3, 2012, 7:14:38 PM4/3/12
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%
Apr 3, 2012, 7:22:31 PM4/3/12
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