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Extremely fallen off the perch

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Flying Rat

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Apr 23, 2017, 5:28:31 PM4/23/17
to


as in budgerigar or parrot, not the aquatic variety of perch.

How peculiar. You disappear for fourteen years or so and what happens?

Bollocks

FR

---
This email has been checked for viruses by Avast antivirus software.
https://www.avast.com/antivirus

Flying Rat

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Apr 23, 2017, 5:31:35 PM4/23/17
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In article <MPG.33672cd3...@news.us.Usenet-News.net>,
ra...@privacy.rat says...
> This email has been checked for viruses by Avast antivirus software.
> https://www.avast.com/antivirus
>
>
>


How rude. They never even asked

FR

Dai Jones

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Apr 23, 2017, 6:42:27 PM4/23/17
to
On 23/04/2017 22:28, Flying Rat wrote:
>
>
> as in budgerigar or parrot, not the aquatic variety of perch.
>
> How peculiar. You disappear for fourteen years or so and what happens?
>
> Bollocks
>
> FR


Fuck me, you still breathing.


Dai Jones

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Apr 23, 2017, 6:44:58 PM4/23/17
to
On 23/04/2017 22:31, Flying Rat wrote:


>> This email has been checked for viruses by Avast antivirus software.
>> https://www.avast.com/antivirus
>>
>>
>>
>
>
> How rude. They never even asked
>
> FR
>

I got 'em to do it. You have a reputation.



Flying Rat

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Apr 23, 2017, 6:46:46 PM4/23/17
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In article <odjap8$ua5$2...@gioia.aioe.org>, M...@HomX.com says...
I changed it. Most salty if you ask me, free advertising and they never
even got my informed consent.

FR

--
Providing quality bollocks for 54 years
Never leave home without them

Flying Rat

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Apr 23, 2017, 6:47:36 PM4/23/17
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In article <odjakg$ua5$1...@gioia.aioe.org>, M...@HomX.com says...
Oh yes. More wheezing gently these days, with a touch of going purple
once a month.

But enough about my sex life...

FR

Dai Jones

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Apr 23, 2017, 6:49:25 PM4/23/17
to
On 23/04/2017 23:46, Flying Rat wrote:
> In article <odjap8$ua5$2...@gioia.aioe.org>, M...@HomX.com says...
>>
>> On 23/04/2017 22:31, Flying Rat wrote:
>>
>>
>>>> This email has been checked for viruses by Avast antivirus software.
>>>> https://www.avast.com/antivirus
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> How rude. They never even asked
>>>
>>> FR
>>>
>>
>> I got 'em to do it. You have a reputation.
>
> I changed it. Most salty if you ask me, free advertising and they never
> even got my informed consent.
>
> FR
>

Shouldn't it read

Providing small bollocks for years



Dai Jones

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Apr 23, 2017, 6:50:32 PM4/23/17
to
On 23/04/2017 23:47, Flying Rat wrote:


>
> Oh yes. More wheezing gently these days, with a touch of going purple
> once a month.
>
> But enough about my sex life...
>

Your grip not what is was ?



Flying Rat

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Apr 23, 2017, 6:52:19 PM4/23/17
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In article <odjb3m$ua5$4...@gioia.aioe.org>, M...@HomX.com says...
one can do interesting things with the inside of a toilet roll, at a
pinch..

FR

Flying Rat

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Apr 23, 2017, 6:53:30 PM4/23/17
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In article <odjb1j$ua5$3...@gioia.aioe.org>, M...@HomX.com says...
Oh no madam. I am lucky in that respect as they are every bit as
Rubenesque as they ever were.

It's the trumpet of love that's not as tuneful as it used to be.

FR

Dai Jones

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Apr 23, 2017, 6:56:56 PM4/23/17
to
On 23/04/2017 23:52, Flying Rat wrote:

>>> Oh yes. More wheezing gently these days, with a touch of going purple
>>> once a month.
>>>
>>> But enough about my sex life...
>>>
>>
>> Your grip not what is was ?
>
>
> one can do interesting things with the inside of a toilet roll, at a
> pinch..
>

Only a bog roll. I'm forced to use the inside of a kitchen roll.


Cut lengthways, so I can add an insert to take the girth...






Flying Rat

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Apr 23, 2017, 6:59:57 PM4/23/17
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In article <odjbfl$vas$1...@gioia.aioe.org>, M...@HomX.com says...
no more gerbils?

Or were you getting an allergic reaction to the rubber bands?

FR

M2T

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Apr 23, 2017, 7:06:32 PM4/23/17
to

>>
>> Providing small bollocks for years
>
> Oh no madam. I am lucky in that respect as they are every bit as
> Rubenesque as they ever were.
>
> It's the trumpet of love that's not as tuneful as it used to be.
>

Not so much a trumpet, more like a kazoo



M2T

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Apr 23, 2017, 7:09:39 PM4/23/17
to

>
> no more gerbils?


My balls are the usual size, unlike yours

> Or were you getting an allergic reaction to the rubber bands?
>

Unlike you, I don't need to strap it to one of them stubby Argos pencils.



Flying Rat

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Apr 23, 2017, 7:16:39 PM4/23/17
to
In article <odjc1l$vq6$2...@gioia.aioe.org>, M...@HomX.com says...
not even worth denying it any more.

What used to be a manly, powerful surge is now more of a squeak and a
wobble

getting old sucks

FR

Flying Rat

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Apr 23, 2017, 7:18:06 PM4/23/17
to
In article <odjc7g$10d7$1...@gioia.aioe.org>, M...@HomX.com says...
you must have some cheap arsed Argos branches down there. At least we
get bookie pens.

Bit awkward though as getting blue ink out of your public hair is a
chore

FR

M2T

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Apr 23, 2017, 7:21:32 PM4/23/17
to

>
> Bit awkward though as getting blue ink out of your public hair is a
> chore
>

No back, sack and crack ?

Poor you



M2T

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Apr 23, 2017, 7:24:41 PM4/23/17
to

>
> not even worth denying it any more.
>
> What used to be a manly, powerful surge is now more of a squeak and a
> wobble
>
> getting old sucks
>

Must cost you a fortune.


Calling them 0900 numbers


Recently discovered my neighbour has been getting wimmin to stay
overnight, in exchange for money.

I put the message out that I was up for it too.
None of the silly cows offered me enough to make it worth my while.



Flying Rat

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Apr 23, 2017, 7:32:54 PM4/23/17
to
In article <odjd3m$119j$1...@gioia.aioe.org>, M...@HomX.com says...
>
> >
> > not even worth denying it any more.
> >
> > What used to be a manly, powerful surge is now more of a squeak and a
> > wobble
> >
> > getting old sucks
> >
>
> Must cost you a fortune.
>
>
> Calling them 0900 numbers
>

do they still exist?
I'm missing a trick here, could make a few quid for my old age. Set one
up as Madam Ratte, correcting naughty boys.

You don't need to beat the shit out of them in person, just whack the
settee and let them beat themselves

>
> Recently discovered my neighbour has been getting wimmin to stay
> overnight, in exchange for money.

There's a name for that. Oldest profession, apparently. The law is the
second oldest, so it's soliciting and solicitors

>
> I put the message out that I was up for it too.
> None of the silly cows offered me enough to make it worth my while.

Do you still accept Giros and milk tokens?

FR


Flying Rat

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Apr 23, 2017, 7:33:44 PM4/23/17
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In article <odjctp$113a$1...@gioia.aioe.org>, M...@HomX.com says...
more like flab, crevice and dangly bits.

I dread to think what I look like naked from behind. Sort of a hairy
sofa, I imagine.

FR

M2T

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Apr 23, 2017, 7:40:54 PM4/23/17
to
On 24/04/2017 00:32, Flying Rat wrote:
> In article <odjd3m$119j$1...@gioia.aioe.org>, M...@HomX.com says...
>>
>>>
>>> not even worth denying it any more.
>>>
>>> What used to be a manly, powerful surge is now more of a squeak and a
>>> wobble
>>>
>>> getting old sucks
>>>
>>
>> Must cost you a fortune.
>>
>>
>> Calling them 0900 numbers
>>
>
> do they still exist?
> I'm missing a trick here, could make a few quid for my old age. Set one
> up as Madam Ratte, correcting naughty boys.
>
> You don't need to beat the shit out of them in person, just whack the
> settee and let them beat themselves


All you need do is print off a few postcards and get them spread around
the tory benches in Westminster.

You'll be up and whacking in a trice.


>>
>> Recently discovered my neighbour has been getting wimmin to stay
>> overnight, in exchange for money.
>
> There's a name for that. Oldest profession, apparently. The law is the
> second oldest, so it's soliciting and solicitors


Everyone gets fucked by one or the other eventually.



>>
>> I put the message out that I was up for it too.
>> None of the silly cows offered me enough to make it worth my while.
>
> Do you still accept Giros and milk tokens?
>

Nah, it's all gash in hand.



M2T

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Apr 23, 2017, 7:44:09 PM4/23/17
to

>>
>> No back, sack and crack ?
>>
>> Poor you
>
>
> more like flab, crevice and dangly bits.
>
> I dread to think what I look like naked from behind. Sort of a hairy
> sofa, I imagine.
>

A gorilla with piles


Oh fuck, that image will stick for weeks







Flying Rat

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Apr 23, 2017, 8:07:12 PM4/23/17
to
In article <odje23$12de$1...@gioia.aioe.org>, M...@HomX.com says...
> >> I put the message out that I was up for it too.
> >> None of the silly cows offered me enough to make it worth my while.
> >
> > Do you still accept Giros and milk tokens?
> >
>
> Nah, it's all gash in hand.
>
>


snatch it where you can?

FR

Flying Rat

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Apr 23, 2017, 8:09:13 PM4/23/17
to
In article <odje86$12ie$1...@gioia.aioe.org>, M...@HomX.com says...
I have NOT got the Jeremy Kyles.

Not any more anyway. I tried that trick you do with swollen knuckles and
hit them with a dictionary.

Which is why I haven't been on Usenet for over ten years. the surgery
was excruciating, and I now misspell most words from C to L

FR

M2T

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Apr 23, 2017, 8:10:40 PM4/23/17
to

>>> Do you still accept Giros and milk tokens?
>>>
>>
>> Nah, it's all gash in hand.
>>
>>
>
>
> snatch it where you can?


Not when the painters are in.



M2T

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Apr 23, 2017, 8:18:04 PM4/23/17
to

>>
>> A gorilla with piles
>>
>>
>> Oh fuck, that image will stick for weeks
>
>
> I have NOT got the Jeremy Kyles.


Liar. Why have you stopped wearing a kilt ?


>
> Not any more anyway. I tried that trick you do with swollen knuckles and
> hit them with a dictionary.


And the word on the shit was...



> Which is why I haven't been on Usenet for over ten years. the surgery
> was excruciating, and I now misspell most words from C to L
>

Thought you blamed that on your lisp.



M2T

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Apr 26, 2017, 10:03:44 PM4/26/17
to

>
>
> I have never worn a kilt in my life. It was a tasteful tartan twinset
> and pearls.
>

The less you say about pearl necklesses, the better.


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