Lusers, dam-fool lusers and arrogant idiots
Joe Zeff
problem. He has a domain, but we don't host it. He claims that until
Friday, his email address was *always* sa...@luserdomain.com and now
it's lusin...@earthlink.net. Explanations about the difference
between his vanity address and his email box were ignored, with
contempt.
Somehow, he'd gotten his Outhouse Excess profile fscked up, among
other things. He had his mailbox name in as email address, instead of
his vanity address. Easy fix.
However, all was not well. You see, mail to the mailbox got there.
Mail to the vanity address didn't, but didn't bounce. OK, I told him
to talk to the hosting service. This is where he tried to get ugly.
First, he claimed to get 2500 emails per day; at a later time, it was
$2500 in business per day.[3] He insisted that it was our fault, not
the hosts, and that this had been "admitted on Friday."[2] After
several explanations, he asked me, "What part of it's not their fault
don't you understand?"
I told him to stop being offensive; he denied having done so. I went
off to notify my supervisor, as he might get involved. We discussed
what to tell him. I tried what my very-non-PHB suggested, with no
luck. Luser demanded to speak to the supe.
Instead of transferring the call, he simply plugged a handset into my
phone and let me listen on the head set. Mr. Git was just as rude,
arrogant, obnoxious and offensive as he was to me, calling the supe
both "stupid" and "obtuse." At one point, he asked, "Do I sound like
an idiot?" I looked at my lead, grinned and nodded rapidly.
After being told at *least* ten times that this was not our affair,
and making thinly-veiled threats to sue, he went off to talk to the
hosting service on Tuesday, after the holiday.
All in all, I was glad I monitered the call. Not only was this lusing
fool entertaining, but my supe has a witness if/when this twit tries
to make trouble. And, considering the "not responsible" clauses in
our User Agreement, I doubt he'll get very far.
[1]Not, it is to be noted, "gentleman."
[2]What was not the host's fault was a telco or PoP issue, not an
email problem, but when do the facts matter to twitiots like this?
[3]Taking the two claims together, it must be an MMF scam.
--
Joe Zeff
The Guy With the Sideburns
When all you've got is a nailgun, every problem looks like a messiah...
http://www.lasfs.org http://home.earthlink.net/~sidebrnz
Alan J Rosenthal
>First, he claimed to get 2500 emails per day; at a later time, it was
>$2500 in business per day.
Ha ha, I love how numbers take on their own existence.
Notice how many things are 10%, that's the most prolific number the
urban-legend-mongers ever made.
-- aj "most people who say that one uses only 10% of one's brain do not, in
fact, use 10% of their brain I don't think" r
Joe Zeff
Rosenthal) wrote:
>the.guy.with....@lasfs.org (Joe Zeff) writes:
>>First, he claimed to get 2500 emails per day; at a later time, it was
>>$2500 in business per day.
>
>Ha ha, I love how numbers take on their own existence.
I kept a copy of the case, out of curiosity. He called back early
today. His Outhouse settings were still fscked up. He was told
*again* to talk to the hosting service as we don't know their server
names. This time, he just said, "OK."
A *real* ID10T!
I had another one today: his first words were, "I want to know the
status of my problem, I want to know when it will be fixed and I want
to know why it hasn't been fixed yet!" Note that he had not yet given
me his lusername or case ID.
Excuse me? Do I go *clink!* when I walk?[1]
[1]I *don't* have crystal balls and can't read his[2] mind.
[2]probably non-existent
--
Joe Zeff
The Guy With the Sideburns
If you haven't got time to RTFM, you
haven't got time to whine on Usenet about it.
http://www.lasfs.org http://home.earthlink.net/~sidebrnz
Patrick R. Wade
>
>I had another one today: his first words were, "I want to know the
>status of my problem, I want to know when it will be fixed and I want
>to know why it hasn't been fixed yet!" Note that he had not yet given
>me his lusername or case ID.
>
>Excuse me? Do I go *clink!* when I walk?[1]
>
Don't you? Most of the admins *i* know do.
>[1]I *don't* have crystal balls and can't read his mind.
That may explain it; extrapolating from myself, i had thought it was due to
cruft in the pockets...
--
Nulla potest mulier tantum se dicere amatam |
vere, quantum a me Lesbia amata mea est. | Catullus 87
Nulla fides ullo fuit umquam foedere tanta, |
quanta in amore tuo ex parte reperta mea est. |
Christer Mort Boräng
> I had another one today: his first words were, "I want to know the
> status of my problem, I want to know when it will be fixed and I want
> to know why it hasn't been fixed yet!" Note that he had not yet given
> me his lusername or case ID.
To which one possible answer would be: "The status of your problem is
that you're stupid, it will be fixed as soon as brain transplants
become available. As to why it hasn't been done yet, it should be
obvious. If you want to speed up the process, please call
$LARGE_HOSPITAL and say that you're a volunteer to test the
procedure."
//Christer
--
| c/o Mauleon | Phone: Home +46 (0)31 708 5762 CTH: +46 (0)31 772 5431 |
| Övre Besvärsg 5 | Email: mo...@cd.chalmers.se Cell: +46 (0)707 53 57 57 |
| S-411 29 Göteborg | WWW: http://www.cd.chalmers.se/~mort/ |
"An NT server can be run by an idiot, and usually is." -- Tom Holub, a.h.b-o-i
Malcolm Ray
>the.guy.with....@lasfs.org (Joe Zeff) writes:
>>First, he claimed to get 2500 emails per day; at a later time, it was
>>$2500 in business per day.
>
>Ha ha, I love how numbers take on their own existence.
>urban-legend-mongers ever made.
If something's not 10%, it's 99.9%. As in the report we had today of
problems accessing a website we host, which said "I'm 99.9% certain that
we have no problem at our end" (in a 666-line message which somehow managed
to avoid saying what the problem actually was, when it occurred, or what
address they were accessing from).
When a user says they're 99.9% certain of something, they're wrong nine
times out of ten.
--
Malcolm Ray University of London Computer Centre
Justin The Cynical
<the.guy.with....@lasfs.org> wrote:
[snip]
->Excuse me? Do I go *clink!* when I walk?[1]
->
->[1]I *don't* have crystal balls and can't read his[2] mind.
*wonders what got added to the coffee beans*
I read this, and then thought of a guy I knew back in high school. Last
personal was glasscock[1].
He quickly got the nickname of crystal dick.
Then there was the 'oriental stress ball' things at $FORMER_ORKPLACE and the
comments of knowing what $FEMALE was using them for if she walked by and
jingled..[2][3]
[1] Or some such spelling
[2] The stress balls had some kind of chime inside of them. Made ding-ding
noises when they were rolled around.
[3] Small town, small shop. With one notable exception, the lot of us were
very casual with each other and never got offended much, if at all. Made
it a very cool place to 'ork, even if we were just sales droids.
--
When you pirate MP3s, you're downloading COMMUNISM!
- A reminder from the Recording Industry Association of America
http://www.ModernHumorist.com
Justin The Cynical - cyn...@linuxstart.com
D. Joseph Creighton
Justin The Cynical <cyn...@linuxstart.com> wrote:
}I read this, and then thought of a guy I knew back in high school. Last
}personal was glasscock[1].
You're certain that's a real memory?
"There will be no more mockery of your name here, Mr. Glasscock."
--
"Is there another word for synonym?" - Anon.
D. Joseph Creighton [ESTP] | Programmer Analyst, Database Technologies, IST
Joe_Cr...@UManitoba.CA | University of Manitoba Winnipeg, MB, Canada, eh?
Steve VanDevender
> In the last exciting episode,
> Justin The Cynical <cyn...@linuxstart.com> wrote:
> }I read this, and then thought of a guy I knew back in high school. Last
> }personal was glasscock[1].
>
> You're certain that's a real memory?
>
> "There will be no more mockery of your name here, Mr. Glasscock."
One of my grade-school classmates was named Glascock. This was long
before "The Simpsons", and even before Matt Groening was doing "Life in
Hell". I'm sure he tired of the jokes fairly early in his school
career.
--
Steve VanDevender "I ride the big iron" http://jcomm.uoregon.edu/~stevev
ste...@efn.org PGP key fingerprint=929FB79734DF8CC0 210DA447510FF93B
"bash awk grep perl sed df du, du-du du-du,
vi troff su fsck rm * halt LART LART LART!" -- the Swedish BOFH
Justin The Cynical
->In the last exciting episode,
->Justin The Cynical <cyn...@linuxstart.com> wrote:
->}I read this, and then thought of a guy I knew back in high school. Last
->}personal was glasscock[1].
->
->You're certain that's a real memory?
Quite. Just like I'm certain of the memory of the smell of boric acid that
was spilled in one of the chem classrooms.
*That* smell will be forever etched into my brain and nose...
Or the day that the metal shop caught fire[1] and we all got to watch the
town-next-door[2] firetrucks show up before the local ones did.
[1] Dust and crap in the big fscking vent filters, and a spark that survived
the updraft.
[2] A good 10-15 minutes away.
Christer Mort Boräng
> In article <wx7hfbe...@ankor.dtek.chalmers.se>,
> >To which one possible answer would be: "The status of your problem is
> >that you're stupid, it will be fixed as soon as brain transplants
No, the grey matter is there, I'm pretty certain of that. It's not in
use though. Trying to fit a second brain would have...interesting
effects. Of course, if the second brain was also a luser brain, we'd
get double the effect for the same amount of money...
Simo Tuominen
wrote:
>Then there was the 'oriental stress ball' things at $FORMER_ORKPLACE and the
OSB, aka AFAIK ben wa balls.
>[2] The stress balls had some kind of chime inside of them. Made ding-ding
> noises when they were rolled around.
I thought those are supposed to *relieve* stress.
Justin The Cynical
->On Wed, 31 May 2000 18:59:07 GMT, d...@null.org (Justin The Cynical)
->wrote:
->
->>Then there was the 'oriental stress ball' things at $FORMER_ORKPLACE and the
->
->OSB, aka AFAIK ben wa balls.
Well, these were not designed to be used as such, considering the size of
said items. One was supposed to roll them around in the hand.
->>[2] The stress balls had some kind of chime inside of them. Made ding-ding
->> noises when they were rolled around.
->
->I thought those are supposed to *relieve* stress.
Sure they do. The problem, err, 'arises' when a MOTAS uses them in
'non-standard' ways, which may well cause stress in the MOTAS who hears the
sounds coming from another MOTAS, to which they are attracted.
*rereads post*
*blinks*
And I've got an interview today in about 3 hours. Right. This day is going to
be interesting.
Greg Andrews
>On Wed, 07 Jun 2000 12:43:13 GMT, Simo Tuominen <sim...@evitech.fi> wrote:
>->On Wed, 31 May 2000 18:59:07 GMT, d...@null.org (Justin The Cynical)
>->wrote:
>->
>->>Then there was the 'oriental stress ball' things at $FORMER_ORKPLACE and the
>->
>->OSB, aka AFAIK ben wa balls.
>
>Well, these were not designed to be used as such, considering the size of
>said items. One was supposed to roll them around in the hand.
>
Someone read the docs that came with them. Hook, line, and sinker.
-Greg
--
::::::::::::::::::: Greg Andrews ge...@wco.com :::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Simo Tuominen
wrote:
>On Wed, 07 Jun 2000 12:43:13 GMT, Simo Tuominen <sim...@evitech.fi> wrote:
>->On Wed, 31 May 2000 18:59:07 GMT, d...@null.org (Justin The Cynical)
>->wrote:
>->
>->>Then there was the 'oriental stress ball' things at $FORMER_ORKPLACE and the
>->
>->OSB, aka AFAIK ben wa balls.
>
>Well, these were not designed to be used as such, considering the size of
>said items. One was supposed to roll them around in the hand.
I thought about that possibility, but the wording seems to have misled
me. Or were you hinting that anyway? (/me is confused) What does "not
designed to be" have to do with the actual use of the things? That way
they'll probably be very effective, even if it'sn't they intended
application method. <g> There are certainly sillier things.
>->>[2] The stress balls had some kind of chime inside of them. Made ding-ding
>->> noises when they were rolled around.
>->
>->I thought those are supposed to *relieve* stress.
>
>Sure they do. The problem, err, 'arises' when a MOTAS uses them in
>'non-standard' ways, which may well cause stress in the MOTAS who hears the
>sounds coming from another MOTAS, to which they are attracted.
If they make jingly noises, they may cause stress even when used as
designed. Noise can be a terrible thing, especially if it ends with a
crunch (depending, of course, on what exactly happened; crunched
lusers are a good thing). BTW, "from" as in "from the direction of",
or "from" as in "from inside of"? That's what my fuzzy logic couldn't
nail down.
>*rereads post*
Reread? What's that? I must've skipped that, judging from the
incredible amount of stupid posts I've sent in various newsgroups in
the past few days.
>*blinks*
"Blinky Watts suffers from Bozman simplex."
>And I've got an interview today in about 3 hours. Right. This day is going to
>be interesting.
So, how did it go?
Justin The Cynical
->On Wed, 07 Jun 2000 18:58:13 GMT, d...@null.org (Justin The Cynical)
->wrote:
[snip]
->>Well, these were not designed to be used as such, considering the size of
->>said items. One was supposed to roll them around in the hand.
->
->I thought about that possibility, but the wording seems to have misled
->me. Or were you hinting that anyway? (/me is confused) What does "not
->designed to be" have to do with the actual use of the things? That way
->they'll probably be very effective, even if it'sn't they intended
->application method. <g> There are certainly sillier things.
Well, these items were larger than the 'average' ben wa ball. Or at least
lasrger than the ones I had seen. And they were painted with various designs
of an 'oriental' nature.
->If they make jingly noises, they may cause stress even when used as
->designed. Noise can be a terrible thing, especially if it ends with a
->crunch (depending, of course, on what exactly happened; crunched
Actually, these reminded me of a 'mellow' wind chime-type of sound. Not
overly loud or sharp sounding. I was known to pick up the set we had
on display and use them meself.
Of course, they could not replace the stress relief of a good luser LARTing,
but hey, one takes what one can get.
->>And I've got an interview today in about 3 hours. Right. This day is going to
->>be interesting.
->
->So, how did it go?
Actually, it went well. Very well. Well enough that they offered me the
job, and I accepted. It's a one year contract as a green badge[1], with
the potential to turn into a blue badge. And they skipped the phone
interview, went right to the face-to-face interview, and offered me the job
the next day. From what I'm given to understand, this is unusual.
Granted, it's not an admin gig (not yet in any case), but another QA
position. Only this time, I'm being hired to break not-working kit, vs
the printers that I have been doing for the past year.
Either way, it's a *much* shorter drive to and from the flat, and I'm
damn near doubling my income.
And I'll now be able to afford the ancient reserve GlenFiddich. Wheee!
[1] If you know what this means, then you know the VBC I'm going to 'ork at.