the real reason you can't say "q***l" here

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Alan J Rosenthal

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Mar 1, 2001, 11:34:03 AM3/1/01
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BOFHen: LART! LART! LART! LART! LART!

Arthur: Who are you?

BOFHen: We are the BOFHen who say... LART!

Arthur (horrified): No! Not the BOFHen who say "LART!"

BOFHen: The same.

Arthur (to Bedevere): Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!

BOFHen: The BOFHen demand..... a clue!

Arthur: BOFHen, we are but simple travellers who seek free advice about the
administration of our home linux machines.

BOFHen: LART! LART! LART! LART! LART!

Bedevere: No! Noooo! Aaaugh! No!

BOFHen: We shall LART you again... if you do not appease us.

Arthur: Well, what is it you want?

BOFHen: We want.....

(pregnant pause)

A 166 MHz Pentium!!!!

(minor music)

Arthur: A *WHAT*?

BOFHen: LART! LART! LART! LART! LART!

Arthur: No! No! Please, please, no more! We will find you a 166 MHz
Pentium.

BOFHen: You must return here with a 166 MHz Pentium... or else you will
never log in... alive.

Arthur: O BOFHen, you are just and fair, and we will return with a 166 MHz
Pentium.

BOFHen: One that looks nice.

Arthur: Of course!

BOFHen: And not *too* expensive.

Arthur: Yes!

BOFHen (excitedly): THEN... Then, when you have found the 166 MHz Pentium,
you must place it here, beside this 25 MHz 486, only slightly higher
so we get the two-level effect with a little private ethernet running
down the middle.

Then, when you have found the 166 MHz Pentium, you must process ten
thousand e-mail messages a minute... wiiiiiithh... A HERRING!

(minor music)

Arthur: We shall do no such thing!

BOFHen: Oh, please!

Arthur: Process e-mail with a herring? Not even qmail would run on that!

BOFHen: AAugh! AAAAAH! Oww!! (writhe in pain) Don't say that word!

Arthur: What word?

BOFHen: I cannot tell; suffice to say, it is one of the words the denizens
of alt.sysadmin.recovery cannot hear!

Arthur: How can we *not* say the word if you don't tell us how you expect us
to run the system fast enough not to queue mail?

(BOFHen are in pain again)

BOFHen: Ahhhh! He said it again!

Arthur: What, "if"?

BOFHen: No, not "if"! You couldn't write many computer programs without
saying "if"!

Bedevere: My liege! It's Sir Robin!

Sir Robin and his minstrels "ride" up.

Minstrels (singing): He's sacking it in, and packing it up,

Robin: My liege! Finally that qmail ftp is done and I could come down to
the pub.

BOFHen: Now *he's* said the word!

Arthur: Surely you've not given up on trying to get foo.example.net on-line
by tomorrow morning?

Minstrels, by way of answering: He's sneaking away, and buggering off,

Robin: Shut up! No no, no, I've got qmail building right now!

BOFHen: He said the word again!

Robin: ... I was... estimating the load at which we'd begin to queue mail...

BOFHen: AAAAAAAuugh!

Robin: uh, here -- here while sitting on a lawn along the canal.

Arthur: No, there's a routing problem between the wireless network here
and www.qmail.org.

BOFHen: Aaaaaaugh! Stop saying the word!!!!

Arthur (getting really amused by the BOFHen): OH, STOP MAKING ME QUEUE MAIL!!

BOFHen: Ow! He said it again!


among others, http://private.homepages.intershop.de/~wolf/python/grail.ni.html

It's just too bad that I had to lose the part where Roger the Shrubber says
in an accusatory tone, "Are you relaying spam through that old woman?"

Patrick R. Wade

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Mar 1, 2001, 2:25:41 PM3/1/01
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In article <97ltlp$s21$1...@atlas.dgp.toronto.edu>, Alan J Rosenthal wrote:
>BOFHen: LART! LART! LART! LART! LART!
>
>Arthur: Who are you?
>
>BOFHen: We are the BOFHen who say... LART!
>
>Arthur (horrified): No! Not the BOFHen who say "LART!"
>
>BOFHen: The same.
>
>Arthur (to Bedevere): Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!

You forgot the bit about the Sacred Words vi, ping, and LOGIN.COM
(BOFHen in background: LOGIN.COM!)


--
Keeping UUCP running is starting to seem a lot like keeping a 130-year-old
man who smokes 4 packs a day on life support because he's the last person
on Earth who knows how to do the cha-cha, but he won't tell anyone.
-- Ryan Tucker

Dan Smith

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Mar 1, 2001, 2:38:02 PM3/1/01
to

Alan, you are a truly sick demented bastard. I like that
in a person.
On 1 Mar 2001 16:34:03 GMT, Alan J Rosenthal wasted bandwidth by:

>BOFHen: LART! LART! LART! LART! LART!

[snip]

>BOFHen: Ow! He said it again!
>
>
>among others, http://private.homepages.intershop.de/~wolf/python/grail.ni.html
>
>It's just too bad that I had to lose the part where Roger the Shrubber says
>in an accusatory tone, "Are you relaying spam through that old woman?"


--
Dan Smith
Arizona Public Service
Z07...@apsc.com

Paul Tomblin

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Mar 2, 2001, 7:53:54 AM3/2/01
to
In a previous article, p...@zetnet.net (Paul Martin) said:
>Grams: Dramatic chord (Shrubbery) [STR, and if you can still get a copy
>of that book, I want one]

I've got my copy around here somewhere. Or maybe I left it in a Greek
restaurant.


--
Paul Tomblin <ptom...@xcski.com>, not speaking for anybody
"and by God I *KNOW* what this network is for, and you can't have it."
- Russ Allbery draws a line in the sand for Usenet.
(http://www.xnet.com/~raven/Sysadmin/Rant.html)

Philip Newton

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Mar 2, 2001, 11:54:37 AM3/2/01
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On 2 Mar 2001 12:53:54 GMT, ptom...@xcski.com (Paul Tomblin) wrote:

> In a previous article, p...@zetnet.net (Paul Martin) said:
> >Grams: Dramatic chord (Shrubbery) [STR, and if you can still get a copy
> >of that book, I want one]
>
> I've got my copy around here somewhere. Or maybe I left it in a Greek
> restaurant.

Not something that looks like a French bistro but is actually a
computer?

Cheers,
Philip
--
Philip Newton <nospam...@gmx.li>
Yes, that really is my address; no need to remove anything to reply.
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Greg Andrews

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Mar 2, 2001, 3:50:46 PM3/2/01
to
p...@zetnet.net (Paul Martin) writes:
>In article <97ltlp$s21$1...@atlas.dgp.toronto.edu>,
> Alan J Rosenthal wrote:
>
>>BOFHen: We want.....
>
>>(pregnant pause)
>
>A REGISTRY.

>
>Grams: Dramatic chord (Shrubbery) [STR, and if you can still get a copy
>of that book, I want one]
>

I left mine with a friend just before moving 3,000 miles away.
I still miss it, 12 years later.

In some ways, I liked it better than the television episodes and
the books. Not as polished as the telly and books, but sometimes
that's a good thing.

-Greg
--
+++++ Greg Andrews +++ ge...@panix.com +++++
I have a map of the United States that's actual size
-- Steven Wright

Stephen Harris

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Mar 3, 2001, 1:13:45 PM3/3/01
to
Paul Martin (p...@zetnet.net) wrote:

: I have the CDs of the radio series. I'm after the book of the annotated
: script.

Videos, radio series, CDs, recordings of the records, books *and* the
scripts :-)
--
Stephen Harris
sw...@spuddy.mew.co.uk http://www.spuddy.org/
The truth is the truth, and opinion just opinion. But what is what?
My employer pays to ignore my opinions; you get to do it for free.
* Meeeeow ! Call Spud the Cat on > 01708 442043 < for free Usenet access *

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