Arthur: Who are you?
BOFHen: We are the BOFHen who say... LART!
Arthur (horrified): No! Not the BOFHen who say "LART!"
BOFHen: The same.
Arthur (to Bedevere): Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
BOFHen: The BOFHen demand..... a clue!
Arthur: BOFHen, we are but simple travellers who seek free advice about the
administration of our home linux machines.
BOFHen: LART! LART! LART! LART! LART!
Bedevere: No! Noooo! Aaaugh! No!
BOFHen: We shall LART you again... if you do not appease us.
Arthur: Well, what is it you want?
BOFHen: We want.....
A 166 MHz Pentium!!!!
Arthur: A *WHAT*?
BOFHen: LART! LART! LART! LART! LART!
Arthur: No! No! Please, please, no more! We will find you a 166 MHz
BOFHen: You must return here with a 166 MHz Pentium... or else you will
never log in... alive.
Arthur: O BOFHen, you are just and fair, and we will return with a 166 MHz
BOFHen: One that looks nice.
Arthur: Of course!
BOFHen: And not *too* expensive.
BOFHen (excitedly): THEN... Then, when you have found the 166 MHz Pentium,
you must place it here, beside this 25 MHz 486, only slightly higher
so we get the two-level effect with a little private ethernet running
down the middle.
Then, when you have found the 166 MHz Pentium, you must process ten
thousand e-mail messages a minute... wiiiiiithh... A HERRING!
Arthur: We shall do no such thing!
BOFHen: Oh, please!
Arthur: Process e-mail with a herring? Not even qmail would run on that!
BOFHen: AAugh! AAAAAH! Oww!! (writhe in pain) Don't say that word!
Arthur: What word?
BOFHen: I cannot tell; suffice to say, it is one of the words the denizens
of alt.sysadmin.recovery cannot hear!
Arthur: How can we *not* say the word if you don't tell us how you expect us
to run the system fast enough not to queue mail?
(BOFHen are in pain again)
BOFHen: Ahhhh! He said it again!
Arthur: What, "if"?
BOFHen: No, not "if"! You couldn't write many computer programs without
Bedevere: My liege! It's Sir Robin!
Sir Robin and his minstrels "ride" up.
Minstrels (singing): He's sacking it in, and packing it up,
Robin: My liege! Finally that qmail ftp is done and I could come down to
BOFHen: Now *he's* said the word!
Arthur: Surely you've not given up on trying to get foo.example.net on-line
by tomorrow morning?
Minstrels, by way of answering: He's sneaking away, and buggering off,
Robin: Shut up! No no, no, I've got qmail building right now!
BOFHen: He said the word again!
Robin: ... I was... estimating the load at which we'd begin to queue mail...
Robin: uh, here -- here while sitting on a lawn along the canal.
Arthur: No, there's a routing problem between the wireless network here
BOFHen: Aaaaaaugh! Stop saying the word!!!!
Arthur (getting really amused by the BOFHen): OH, STOP MAKING ME QUEUE MAIL!!
BOFHen: Ow! He said it again!
It's just too bad that I had to lose the part where Roger the Shrubber says
in an accusatory tone, "Are you relaying spam through that old woman?"
Keeping UUCP running is starting to seem a lot like keeping a 130-year-old
man who smokes 4 packs a day on life support because he's the last person
on Earth who knows how to do the cha-cha, but he won't tell anyone.
-- Ryan Tucker
>BOFHen: Ow! He said it again!
>among others, http://private.homepages.intershop.de/~wolf/python/grail.ni.html
>It's just too bad that I had to lose the part where Roger the Shrubber says
>in an accusatory tone, "Are you relaying spam through that old woman?"
Arizona Public Service
I've got my copy around here somewhere. Or maybe I left it in a Greek
Paul Tomblin <ptom...@xcski.com>, not speaking for anybody
"and by God I *KNOW* what this network is for, and you can't have it."
- Russ Allbery draws a line in the sand for Usenet.
> In a previous article, p...@zetnet.net (Paul Martin) said:
> >Grams: Dramatic chord (Shrubbery) [STR, and if you can still get a copy
> >of that book, I want one]
> I've got my copy around here somewhere. Or maybe I left it in a Greek
Not something that looks like a French bistro but is actually a
Philip Newton <nospam...@gmx.li>
Yes, that really is my address; no need to remove anything to reply.
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
I left mine with a friend just before moving 3,000 miles away.
I still miss it, 12 years later.
In some ways, I liked it better than the television episodes and
the books. Not as polished as the telly and books, but sometimes
that's a good thing.
+++++ Greg Andrews +++ ge...@panix.com +++++
I have a map of the United States that's actual size
-- Steven Wright
: I have the CDs of the radio series. I'm after the book of the annotated
Videos, radio series, CDs, recordings of the records, books *and* the
The truth is the truth, and opinion just opinion. But what is what?
My employer pays to ignore my opinions; you get to do it for free.
* Meeeeow ! Call Spud the Cat on > 01708 442043 < for free Usenet access *