FABNAQ -- frequently asked but never answered questions

[hymie!]

Presented without comment, an entry from
http://aws.amazon.com/ec2/faqs/


Q: Can I configure my Amazon EC2 instances to only accept traffic from
the Elastic Load Balancer?

A: Yes.

--hymie! http://lactose.homelinux.net/~hymie hy...@lactose.homelinux.net

[Joe Zeff]

On Fri, 20 Apr 2012 16:01:19 +0000, hymie! wrote:

> Presented without comment, an entry from http://aws.amazon.com/ec2/faqs/
>
>
> Q: Can I configure my Amazon EC2 instances to only accept traffic from
> the Elastic Load Balancer?
>
> A: Yes.
>

Actually, the question, as asked, is answered. I presume that the next
question isn't about how to do this.

This reminds me of when I orked for WESELLSECURITY. They had a large
number of "faqs" that they sent out to customers on request. The reason
I put the term inside quotation marks will probably be understood when I
tell you that I once got an emailed request for an explanation of how to
do something that ended like this: "And don't just send me a section of
the manual. If I could understand the manual, I wouldn't be asking."

--
Joe Zeff -- The Guy With The Sideburns:
http://www.zeff.us http://www.lasfs.info
Microsoft's software "Wizards" show that their marketing department
is envisioning Tolkien but their coders are more into Pratchett.

[Mike Andrews]

Joe Zeff <the.guy.with....@lasfs.info> wrote in <4f918af2$0$2927$a826...@newsreader.readnews.com>:

> On Fri, 20 Apr 2012 16:01:19 +0000, hymie! wrote:
>
>> Presented without comment, an entry from http://aws.amazon.com/ec2/faqs/
>>
>>
>> Q: Can I configure my Amazon EC2 instances to only accept traffic from
>> the Elastic Load Balancer?
>>
>> A: Yes.
>>
>
> Actually, the question, as asked, is answered. I presume that the next
> question isn't about how to do this.
>
> This reminds me of when I orked for WESELLSECURITY. They had a large
> number of "faqs" that they sent out to customers on request. The reason
> I put the term inside quotation marks will probably be understood when I
> tell you that I once got an emailed request for an explanation of how to
> do something that ended like this: "And don't just send me a section of
> the manual. If I could understand the manual, I wouldn't be asking."

At a SHARE conference (large-scale VOZ hardware users), one of the
sessions was on shortcomings of the MVS Messages and Codes manual. I
asked what I should do when I got some message or other, for which the
"Programmer Actions" text read "Consult your systems programmer".

The VOZ presenter asked me what the problem was. My response brought
down the house: "I *am* my systems programmer, and I haven't the
foggiest notion of what I should do here."

--
"[T]he secret to high uptimes is no one to use the network, no
one to manage the network and no one to maintain the network"
Chris Hacking, the Scary Devil Monastery

[Graham Reed]

Mike Andrews <mi...@mikea.ath.cx> writes:
> The VOZ presenter asked me what the problem was. My response brought
> down the house: "I *am* my systems programmer, and I haven't the
> foggiest notion of what I should do here."

I just recently had a chunk of VOZ software... something about planetary
spiders... tell me to contact the "Local Systems Administrator."

The problem, of course, is that I _am_ the "local systems administrator"
and I was trying to figure out how to kick the
stupid... uh... serverthing upside the restart button. (I knew how to
start it. It wouldn't shut down... and it wouldn't serve requests.)

Turns out, 'kill -KILL' solves all manner of annoyances. Possible data
corrutpion, I decided, was the user's problem: they were the ones who
wanted this abomination.

--
"Graham was right."
-- "Smoke and Mirrors" by Tanya Huff

[David Scheidt]

Roger Burton West <roger+a...@nospam.firedrake.org> wrote:
:Graham Reed wrote:

:>I just recently had a chunk of VOZ software... something about planetary

:>spiders... tell me to contact the "Local Systems Administrator."

:Hold on, let me just tickle the sigmonster... yeah, there we go. That
:one was about Jvaqbjf of course, probably 3.11 or 95.

:I assume that this is code for "guy who's paying us $BIGNUM per year to
:be an Official Certified Tech who gets to use the documentation with
:actual answers in it".

in my experience, it's code for "the guy who's fixed this before".
Not that I'm bitter about it. No, not at all.



--
sig 115

[Joe Zeff]

On Fri, 20 Apr 2012 22:31:55 +0000, Roger Burton West wrote:

> I assume that this is code for "guy who's paying us $BIGNUM per year to
> be an Official Certified Tech who gets to use the documentation with
> actual answers in it".

ITYM, "...that we're paying..."

--
Joe Zeff -- The Guy With The Sideburns:
http://www.zeff.us http://www.lasfs.info

Complaining about the wait times doesn't make them shorter.

[Ralph Wade Phillips]

On 4/20/2012 11:19 AM, Mike Andrews wrote:
> Joe Zeff<the.guy.with....@lasfs.info> wrote in<4f918af2$0$2927$a826...@newsreader.readnews.com>:

>

> At a SHARE conference (large-scale VOZ hardware users), one of the
> sessions was on shortcomings of the MVS Messages and Codes manual. I
> asked what I should do when I got some message or other, for which the
> "Programmer Actions" text read "Consult your systems programmer".
>
> The VOZ presenter asked me what the problem was. My response brought
> down the house: "I *am* my systems programmer, and I haven't the
> foggiest notion of what I should do here."
>

It's not just software manuals.

I was working on a N* hard drive (one of the 14" single platter 4-head
models) and at one point the service manual said, "Consult your dealer
service department." Minor problem - I WAS the dealer service department.

I called N* tech support, and it took a while for the guy to get off his
high horse about how did I get that number, it was only for dealers, and
why wasn't I talking to the dealer. We had to get the sales arm
involved to assure them that yes, we WERE dealers, yes, I HAD been to
the factory training seminar, and yes, the service manual DID say that.

(Turns out the problem was due to some reversed tantalum caps on the
Nevada board. Fix was to put them in "backwards" ... )

RwP

[David Gersic]

On 20 Apr 2012 16:12:35 GMT, Joe Zeff <the.guy.with....@lasfs.info> wrote:
> On Fri, 20 Apr 2012 16:01:19 +0000, hymie! wrote:
>
>> Presented without comment, an entry from http://aws.amazon.com/ec2/faqs/
>>
>>
>> Q: Can I configure my Amazon EC2 instances to only accept traffic from
>> the Elastic Load Balancer?
>>
>> A: Yes.
>>
>
> Actually, the question, as asked, is answered. I presume that the next
> question isn't about how to do this.
>
> This reminds me of when I orked for WESELLSECURITY. They had a large
> number of "faqs" that they sent out to customers on request. The reason
> I put the term inside quotation marks will probably be understood when I
> tell you that I once got an emailed request for an explanation of how to
> do something that ended like this: "And don't just send me a section of
> the manual. If I could understand the manual, I wouldn't be asking."

So you forwarded this to Sales, right? So they could contact the sender
and offer consulting services?

[Just zis Guy, you know?]

On 20 Apr 2012 16:01:19 GMT, hy...@lactose.homelinux.net (hymie!)
wrote:

>Q: Can I configure my Amazon EC2 instances to only accept traffic from
> the Elastic Load Balancer?

The answer is as expected from a support droid: factually correct but
of no practical use.

Guy
--
Guy Chapman, http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk
The usenet price promise: all opinions are guaranteed
to be worth at least what you paid for them.

[David Cameron Staples]

On Sat, 21 Apr 2012 09:45:15 +0100, Just zis Guy, you know? wrote:

> On 20 Apr 2012 16:01:19 GMT, hy...@lactose.homelinux.net (hymie!) wrote:
>
>>Q: Can I configure my Amazon EC2 instances to only accept traffic from
>> the Elastic Load Balancer?
>
> The answer is as expected from a support droid: factually correct but of
> no practical use.
>
> Guy

"You are in a balloon."

[Wojciech Derechowski]

The man in the fields is usually right, but he seldom gets to fly.

WD
--
Who is Entscheidungs and what is his problem?

[Shmuel Metz]

In <jmssda$jij$1...@dont-email.me>, on 04/20/2012

at 06:44 PM, Ralph Wade Phillips <ne...@philent.biz> said:

>I called N* tech support, and it took a while for the guy to get off
>his high horse about how did I get that number, it was only for
>dealers, and why wasn't I talking to the dealer. We had to get the
>sales arm involved to assure them that yes, we WERE dealers, yes, I
>HAD been to the factory training seminar, and yes, the service
>manual DID say that.

Do they have an equivalent to IBM's duty manager? In some companies
what you described would be a CLM.

--
Shmuel (Seymour J.) Metz <http://patriot.net/~shmuel> ISO position
Reply to domain Patriot dot net user shmuel+bspfh to contact me.
We don't care. We don't have to care, we're Congress.
(S877: The Shut up and Eat Your spam act of 2003)

[Shmuel Metz]

In <bps4p7dkptbn83uhe...@4ax.com>, on 04/21/2012
at 09:45 AM, "Just zis Guy, you know?"

<usen...@chapmancentral.co.uk> said:

>The answer is as expected from a support droid: factually correct but
>of no practical use.

That would be a step up.

[Joe Zeff]

On Sun, 22 Apr 2012 07:13:10 -0400, Shmuel (Seymour J.) Metz wrote:

> Do they have an equivalent to IBM's duty manager? In some companies what
> you described would be a CLM.

It's a shame there aren't more companies like that. I could go so far as
to say it's a shame *all* companies aren't like that.

--
Joe Zeff -- The Guy With The Sideburns:
http://www.zeff.us http://www.lasfs.info

ScotchGard (TM) isn't the best treatment for leather, but it
makes it easier to wash off the blood.

[Tony Kemp]

On 2012-04-20, Mike Andrews <mi...@mikea.ath.cx> wrote:
> At a SHARE conference (large-scale VOZ hardware users), one of the
> sessions was on shortcomings of the MVS Messages and Codes manual. I
> asked what I should do when I got some message or other, for which the
> "Programmer Actions" text read "Consult your systems programmer".
>
> The VOZ presenter asked me what the problem was. My response brought
> down the house: "I *am* my systems programmer, and I haven't the
> foggiest notion of what I should do here."

SCENE: An VOZ conference.

S. Baldrick (a presenter): My lord! There's a man on the conference
floor requesting technical support!

E. Blackadder (an VOZ support officer): Tell him to go away and consult
his systems programmer.

Baldrick: Yes, my lord.

Exuent BALDRICK.

BLACKADDER peruses blue suit catalogue.

BALDRICK crashes through the door.

Blackadder: Ah, Bladrick, what did he say when you told him about the
systems programmer?

MikeA (stepping through smashed door, wielding a high-dischard
cattleprod): I said I AM the systems programmer of Bath and Wells!

[Joe Zeff]

On Tue, 19 Jun 2012 08:49:00 +0000, Tony Kemp wrote:

> S. Baldrick (a presenter): My lord! There's a man on the conference
> floor requesting technical support!

kill -9 Baldrick

--
Joe Zeff -- The Guy With The Sideburns:
http://www.zeff.us http://www.lasfs.info

Frankly, I expected better than straw men and stupidity from the
inhabitants of this group. I guess I won't make that mistake again.

[Mike Andrews]

Dave Brown <dagb...@lart.ca> wrote in <hgu2sj...@phb.lart.ca>:

> In article <slrnju0f7s.s...@hex.local>,

> Tony Kemp <tony...@googleemailservice.com> wrote:
>> SCENE: An VOZ conference.
>>
>> S. Baldrick (a presenter): My lord! There's a man on the conference
>> floor requesting technical support!
>>
>> E. Blackadder (an VOZ support officer): Tell him to go away and consult
>> his systems programmer.
>>
>> Baldrick: Yes, my lord.
>>
>> Exuent BALDRICK.
>

> Thanks to your use of the plural "exeunt" rather than the singular
> "exit", I imagined BALDRICK--probably entirely correctly--as a big
> contingent of suits, rather than as a single idiot.

More likely BALDRICK is a cluster of Tines. I can see -- and hear -- it now:
the above-audible-frequency wavefronts and the not-really-dogs.

--
Guam Coastal Waters:
PMZ151>154-222100- MARIANAS COASTAL WATERS- 358 PM CHST FRI JUN 22 2012 TONIGHT
EAST WIND 10 TO 15 KT. WIND WAVES 2 TO 3 FT. EAST SWELL 4 FT.

[Tony Kemp]

On 2012-06-22, Dave Brown <dagb...@LART.ca> wrote:
> Thanks to your use of the plural "exeunt" rather than the singular
> "exit", I imagined BALDRICK--probably entirely correctly--as a big
> contingent of suits, rather than as a single idiot.

That interpretation is much better than the reality (my appalling
ignorancy of Latin).