Boy am I glad I found this place... ;)
Alan C. Horn
Ok, let's start a simple, one might even say innocent, little thread...
Anyone got any anecdotes on what to say when a user requests the root
password ? :)
Al
--
Alan Horn - Computer Support and Sysadmin - Dreamworks SKG. (+1 818 733
6000)
[Personal Email : deo...@mono.org] [Work Email :
ah...@dreamworks.com]
You gotta give, to live.| What is understood need not be discussed
al...@dreamworks.com | - Loren Adams
Pete Ehlke
>Reading it makes life sooo much easier.
>Ok, let's start a simple, one might even say innocent, little thread...
>Anyone got any anecdotes on what to say when a user requests the root
>password ? :)
That one's easy: "No."
--
My attitude is being provided by one of America's leading
pharmaceutical companies.
Mathew A. Hennessy
Alan C. Horn <ah...@dreamworks.com> wrote:
>Anyone got any anecdotes on what to say when a user requests the root
>password ? :)
I prefer physical comedy so either I snort coffee out my nose in
a fit of laughter, or I simply have a fit of laughter sans props. If the
luser persists, I will then usually get quite peeved and explain EXACTLY
what they'd be responsible for if I let 'em have root. They usually
wander off dazed halfway through sendmail.cf.
> [Personal Email : deo...@mono.org] [Work Email :
--
- Matt (henn...@cloud9.net), infoSage admin (henn...@infosage.ibm.com)
<em><a href="http://www.cloud9.net/~hennessy">My useless page</a></em>
EARTHWORM JIM: A worm with an attitude... and a really BIG gun!
bmb...@acsu.buffalo.edu
tom...@ekfido.kodak.com (Paul Tomblin) writes:
In a previous article, "Alan C. Horn" <ah...@dreamworks.com> said:
>
>Anyone got any anecdotes on what to say when a user requests the
>root password ? :)
Well, a friend of mine has a really nice mountain bike - at least
$7500 worth. When somebody else asked if he could borrow it, his
response was "Sure, as long as I can borrow your wife." I always
keep that in mind when somebody wants to borrow something that is
precious to me, like a root password.
But what are you going to do if the take you up on it?
-- Paul Tomblin, Contract Programmer. I don't speak for Kodak,
they don't speak for me. (Email that is not work related should go
to: ptom...@xcski.com) "You are in a twisty maze of Motif Widget
resources, all inconsistent."
--
--
Buddha Buck phae...@future.dreamscape.com
"She was infatuated with their male prostitutes, whose members were
like those of donkeys and whose seed came in floods like that of
stallions." -- Ezekiel 23:30
J.D. Falk
> Anyone got any anecdotes on what to say when a user requests the root
> password ? :)
I'd just quote Tim Pierce: "No."
--
---------========== J.D. Falk <jdf...@cybernothing.org> =========---------
| "I, Foo Bar, leader of the Usenet High Council and lord of all I |
| survey, do hereby order you to destroy any trace of the user Spam |
| Baz, hereafter to be referred to as 'pud.'" -- Paul Phillips |
----========== http://www.cybernothing.org/jdfalk/home.html ==========----
Mark H. Brady
jdf...@cyberNOTHING.org (J.D. Falk) wrote:
>In alt.sysadmin.recovery, Alan C. Horn <ah...@dreamworks.com> wrote...
:> Anyone got any anecdotes on what to say when a user requests the root
:> password ? :)
> I'd just quote Tim Pierce: "No."
I thought Nancy Reagan said that. Oh, well.
Mark Brady bs...@hic.net
Houston, TX mbr...@msmail.hic.tch.tmc.edu
http://www.hic.net/bssc/public_html/mbrady.html
Never attribute to conspiracy what can be fully explained
by stupidity.
Mark Edwards
>Anyone got any anecdotes on what to say when a user requests the root
>password ? :)
Gee, everyone knows that the root password is "rm -f *"
medw...@onramp.net
Mark Edwards
Arlington, Texas
Matthew Skala
> response was "Sure, as long as I can borrow your wife." I always
>
Impregnate her.
--
Matthew Skala, who writes C under OS/2 for money and Perl under Linux for fun.
All the usual disclaimers apply. In cyberspace, you can hear everyone scream.
Hit me:http://www.islandnet.com/~mskala/ Permanent email:msk...@islandnet.com.
=========== PLEASE IMAGINE THAT THIS LINE IS AN EFF "BLUE RIBBON" ============
rbirvin
>
>Ok, let's start a simple, one might even say innocent, little thread...
>
>password ? :)
Not an anecdote, but how about "Look at who's got it now!" ?
Trooper
still smiling at the looks on his coworkers' faces when he
told them just what a pissed-off dba can _do_ to their
data
"But there'll still be system back-ups!"
"Frazier's still the system administrator"
"oh. oh shit."
Todd Showalter
>Reading it makes life sooo much easier.
>Ok, let's start a simple, one might even say innocent, little thread...
>Anyone got any anecdotes on what to say when a user requests the root
>password ? :)
Give him an account where his login name is "rute". When the
"missunderstanding" is brought to your attention, appear to
understand, and change it to "ROOT" or "Root" (note the caps). With
luck, you can keep this act up long enough to forstall damage.
Todd.
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
/ Todd Showalter / LAND ROVER ATTACK! /
/ gan...@interlog.com / - NATSUME Kyusaku /
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Harvey Beliveau
>Reading it makes life sooo much easier.
>Ok, let's start a simple, one might even say innocent, little thread...
>Anyone got any anecdotes on what to say when a user requests the root
>password ? :)
>Al
Well, not directly, but it reminded me of when I was in the USMC. As the
admin boss, I had a reserved parking space. One day I returned from lunch
to find my space taken, which quickly pissed me off. I found out who owned
the car and summoned him to my office. This lowly scum-sucking reservist
mech shows up and asks what I want. Maintaining my calm, I had him sit at
my desk and for the next five minutes briefed him on everything that had to
be done by the end of the day. Gradually a bewildered look spread across
his face and he asked why I was telling him all of that, at which point the
volume level multiplied as I told him if he wanted to park his piece of
shit in my parking space, he must want my job too. He moved his car.
Bottom line - if they want root, and the boss insists, they get all the
responsibilities that go along with it too.
Later,
Harvey
CDA Compliant: "Sir, might I suggest you perform an aerial manuever towards
intercourse with a revolving piece of perforated pastry?"
Non-CDA Compliant: "Hey asshole - take a flyin' fuck at a rolling donut!"
Douglas R. Floyd
Todd Showalter <gan...@gold.interlog.com> wrote:
>"Alan C. Horn" <ah...@dreamworks.com> summoned a news daemon to say:
>
>
>>Ok, let's start a simple, one might even say innocent, little thread...
>
>>Anyone got any anecdotes on what to say when a user requests the root
>>password ? :)
>
>"missunderstanding" is brought to your attention, appear to
>understand, and change it to "ROOT" or "Root" (note the caps). With
>luck, you can keep this act up long enough to forstall damage.
>
Even better, (some systems may barf on this... be warned) make an id for
the real root (toor...), and make root a plain ol' user.
> Todd.
>
>///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
>/ Todd Showalter / LAND ROVER ATTACK! /
>/ gan...@interlog.com / - NATSUME Kyusaku /
>///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
>
--
Douglas R. Floyd <dfl...@io.com>
Disclaimer: What, me speak for my employer(s)? Yeah, right.
If you know what you are doing, you are not making progress...
Peter Buff Moss
>
> "Alan C. Horn" <ah...@dreamworks.com> writes:
>
> >Reading it makes life sooo much easier.
>
> >Ok, let's start a simple, one might even say innocent, little thread...
>
> >Anyone got any anecdotes on what to say when a user requests the root
> >password ? :)
>
i had a client once who insisted on the root password *shudder* so his
sysadmin and myself created another superuser acct, change the uid and
gid of the root login, and gave it a tounge twister of a password
6 months down the track and the system is still intact :)
>
> My attitude is being provided by one of America's leading
> pharmaceutical companies.
--
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age"
bu...@ramhb.co.nz Meatloaf
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Paul Tomblin
:In article <4h78nl$b...@apollo.ekfido.kodak.com>
:tom...@ekfido.kodak.com (Paul Tomblin) writes:
:
: In a previous article, "Alan C. Horn" <ah...@dreamworks.com> said:
: >Anyone got any anecdotes on what to say when a user requests the
: >root password ? :)
:
: Well, a friend of mine has a really nice mountain bike - at least
: $7500 worth. When somebody else asked if he could borrow it, his
: keep that in mind when somebody wants to borrow something that is
: precious to me, like a root password.
:But what are you going to do if the take you up on it?
Make him keep his half of the bargin, then change my password.
Lars P. Fischer
>>>>> "Todd" == Todd Showalter <gan...@gold.interlog.com>
Todd> Give him an account where his login name is "rute". When
Todd> the "missunderstanding" is brought to your attention, appear to
Todd> understand, and change it to "ROOT" or "Root" (note the caps).
Todd> With luck, you can keep this act up long enough to forstall
Todd> damage.
Even better, create a user called toor (or some such) with uid 0,
change the uid of root to 65535, and give them the "root" password.
Those who figure out what's going in just might qualify for the real
thing.
/Lars
--
Lars P. Fischer, fis...@dina.kvl.dk, http://www.dina.kvl.dk/~fischer
O fuck it! I'm a monster! I admit it! -- Nick Cave
Tim Bandy
!:In article <4h5tr0$a...@news2.cais.com>,
!: jdf...@cyberNOTHING.org (J.D. Falk) wrote:
!:>In alt.sysadmin.recovery, Alan C. Horn <ah...@dreamworks.com> wrote...
!::> Anyone got any anecdotes on what to say when a user requests the root
!::> password ? :)
!:> I'd just quote Tim Pierce: "No."
!:I thought Nancy Reagan said that. Oh, well.
Ronnie: Mommy? Mommy, can I have root?
Nancy: No, dear, the stars tell me that you'll newfs /.
later...
Nancy: Ronnie, did you trash my hard drive?
Ronnie: Ummmm, I can't recall.
--
Tim Bandy University of Minnesota
tim...@monopoly.cs.umn.edu ba...@cs.umn.edu
http://www.cs.umn.edu/~bandy/index.html
"On justice, and on friendship, there is no price, but there are
established credit limits" --The Tick
Vicki Robinson
>In a previous article, bmb...@acsu.buffalo.edu said:
>:In article <4h78nl$b...@apollo.ekfido.kodak.com>
>:tom...@ekfido.kodak.com (Paul Tomblin) writes:
>:
>:
>: $7500 worth. When somebody else asked if he could borrow it, his
>: response was "Sure, as long as I can borrow your wife." I always
>: keep that in mind when somebody wants to borrow something that is
>: precious to me, like a root password.
>:
>:But what are you going to do if the take you up on it?
>
>Make him keep his half of the bargin, then change my password.
>
Vicki "Paul's fiancee" Robinson
--
Vicki Robinson
<blink><a href="http://www.rit.edu/~vjrnts/binky.html">BINKY!</a></blink>
Visit my home page at <a href="http://www.rit.edu/~vjrnts"> Vicki's Home Page
</a> and sign my guest book. Millions have!
S.M.S.
: Ack! Admin for an ISP? After reading a.s.r for as long as I have? I have a
: hard enough time being civil to lusers at my current (and past) jobs. And
: my lusers are allegedly-clueful developers and techs.
:
: Take calls from lusers about Win95 and Netscape?
:
: * DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, DANGER *
Been there. Done that. Be afraid... Be *very* afraid...
--
sla...@shore.net "Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and
instead of bleeding, he sings." -- Ed Gardner
George F. Mayhew
(Mike Horwath) wrote:
>Hey, it isn't all bad, just 99%...you can actually meet some nice
>people who, while not being clueful about computers, are actually a
>joy to talk with. Rare, I know, but still... If just one luser out
>of 100 can be civil, considerate and charming all at the same time
>without tripping over themselves, it is worth it.
I dunno. Usually the "nice ones" are snakes in geeks clothing. I figure
that if some luser is being nice, they want something...and they usually
do. Of course, that can work both ways...that nice secretary in
purchasing wants an alias to her email...<clickety-clack>...no
problem...now about that new Alpha :-)
Of course, being nice can also revoke your bofh status, and we wouldn't
want that. ;-)
--
"People are DNA's way of making more DNA."(Edward O. Wilson, 1975)
\ / \ \ / \ \ / \ \ / George Mayhew \ / \ \ / \ \ / \ \
\ /\ \ /\ \ E. coli Genome Sequencing Project \ /\ \ /\ \
\/ \__\/ \__\may...@midgaard.genetics.wisc.edu__\/ \__\/ \__\
krawczyk peter adam
: In article <4hi7m2$g...@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>,
: krawczyk peter adam <pkra...@students.uiuc.edu> wrote:
: >
: >(By the way, that second one was a girl who had about 65 messages in her
: >box. Upon closer inspection, the messages were all (fwds) which averaged
: >1500 lines. The box was about 360K. I had to do some BOFHing
: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
: So, enquiring minds want to know: Was it as good for her as it was for you?
Mt.Dew|N>K
Don't I wish.
-Pete
--
Pete Krawczyk pkra...@uiuc.edu http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/pkrawczy
"IRC is not just a place for college undergraduates to
waste time until they flunk out." -- Ed Krol
CyberFest at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign March 12, 1997
Geir Harris Hedemark
> Ack! Admin for an ISP? After reading a.s.r for as long as I have? I have a
> hard enough time being civil to lusers at my current (and past) jobs. And
> my lusers are allegedly-clueful developers and techs.
>
> Take calls from lusers about Win95 and Netscape?
>
> * DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, DANGER *
Smart move. *Very* smart move.
Of course, he didn't say how much you were going to get paid, did he?
For an obscene amount of money even I would go back and tell lusers
what they wanted to hear. :)
Geir
Ned Brickley
wrote:
>>Maybe...I need a techsupport/admin type...
>
>Ack! Admin for an ISP? After reading a.s.r for as long as I have? I have a
>hard enough time being civil to lusers at my current (and past) jobs. And
>my lusers are allegedly-clueful developers and techs.
>
>Take calls from lusers about Win95 and Netscape?
>
>* DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, DANGER *
Oh, it's not so bad.
*twitch*
Just look at it as a way to educate people.
*shudder*
And think of the challenge when you get one who just bought the first
computer he's ever used...Yesterday.
*tremble*
So what if he can't tell the difference between a monitor and a modem?
You can show him the light.
*oh god! Not him again!!*
And what will be your reward after many years of service as tech
support?
A lifetime supply of prozac, lithium, and phenobarbitol, plus a nice
room with soft rubber wallpaper.
Hmmm.
(Ned rereads his post and....)
AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
Down, not across.
-=Ned=-
** Tell the users you love them. say it with flowers.**
**Send them a Triffid**
Tim Bandy
!:In article <4hi7m2$g...@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>,
!:krawczyk peter adam <pkra...@students.uiuc.edu> wrote:
!:>
!:>(By the way, that second one was a girl who had about 65 messages in her
!:>box. Upon closer inspection, the messages were all (fwds) which averaged
!:>1500 lines. The box was about 360K. I had to do some BOFHing
!: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
!:So, enquiring minds want to know: Was it as good for her as it was for you?
So, did you BOFH her? Wink wink, nudge nudge, eh? A nod's as good as
a wink to a blind bat. ;)
Martin Hargreaves
>[2] Since August, I've installed OS/2, Win 95 (ack), and Linux about 11 times
> in total. I'm currently running Win '95, but will go to Linux once they
> fix my CD. The bootdisks on my CD cause my AMI BIOS to reset. Aargh.
So don't stick disks to the CD....
M.
##################################################################
# Martin Hargreaves (mar...@datamodl.demon.co.uk) Computational #
# Director, Datamodel Ltd Chemist #
# Contract Unix system admin/Unix security Sysadmin #
##################################################################
Kai Henningsen
> The one thing I hate most is when I go down to the public lab in my
> dormitory building <ack> and sit down at a Mac [1] (aieeee) to do some work,
> and people ask me questions. We have these "Peer Consultants" which are
Gaaah, don't remind me.
Back when I was working for the computer center of my U[1], I *never* was
in user support - I worked with a typesetting system they had developed
(in PL/I), and later with TeX[2]. Still, the moment I walked into the
terminal room and sat down before a terminal, some luser would come to ask
me for support ...
[1] ur...@dmswwu1a.bitnet[7], in the 1980s - I don't expect anybody
remembers me from back then, but you never know. I wrote my own ersatz-
RELAY in REXX for use by a few friends[4], but never got really interested
in the "real" RELAYs; I don't like BBS online chats and have never even
tried IRC.[5]
[2] I still don't quite understand how I turned up in that department.
Typesetting never did interest me. I think it may have been somehow
related to taking a SNOBOL course ... [3]
[3] I'm sure those sentences are not quite ok. I don't particularly care
right now, however.
[4] Ok, I admit I was mostly interested in the programming and testing,
less in actually using the thing.
[5] You do know that the idea for IRC came from the old Bitnet RELAY, I
expect.
[6] This footnote intentionally left blank.
[7] Of course, the part of the net I was in was really EARN, not Bitnet.
Adressing ignored such subtleties.
Kai
--
A news.groups reorg is currently discussed there.
Internet: k...@khms.westfalen.de
Bang: major_backbone!khms.westfalen.de!kai
http://www.westfalen.de/private/khms/
Paul Sears
>
> Jamie Downs wrote:
> >
> > ah...@dreamworks.com ("Alan C. Horn") writes:
> >
> > At least on my systems, the root password won't do any good unless you
> > also
> > have a 'wheel' group account or access to the console. Of course, the
> > short
> > answer is "no". The slightly longer answer is "Buahahahaha!"
> >
> > egon
>
> Yes, but when you have 50 separate workstations, you have 50 consoles...
>
> And of course, being 'personal' machines, it's important that the luser
> has 'full' access to his resources....
>
Since at my site we have all the luser files nfs mounted from a
central servers, giving them the ability to su to root also
means they can su to any other account without a password... and
even though root is -2 on the nfs servers, the luser can su to
another userid to get at those files...
We flat out state that if you want to a member of our cluster,
including access to the central file space, then you play the
game by our rules and you ain't getting any kind of priviledged
accounts....
We claim that the integrity of luser files is foremost (yeah
right). You would be surprised how effective this really is...
--
Paul Sears Se...@uh.edu
Systems Administration <URL:http://www.egr.uh.edu/~sears>
Engineering Computing Center College of Engineering
University of Houston
Jeff Mercer
>In a previous article, vic...@panix.com (Vicki Robinson) said:
>:tom...@ekfido.kodak.com (Paul Tomblin) is purported to have said
[comments about wife/bicycle deal]
>:>Make him keep his half of the bargin, then change my password.
>:Wanna re-think that, Funny Man?
>:Vicki "Paul's fiancee" Robinson
>alt.folklore.urban?
*brrrr*
Is it just me... Or did the mean tempature in this newsgroup just drop about
20 degrees?
rif...@afn.org : "I'm a lawyer."
Jeff The Riffer : "Honest?"
Drifter... : "No, the regular kind."
Homo Postmortemus :
Uncle Don Ross
Alistair J. R. Young <ava...@arkane.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
>Give it to him.
>Just make sure the account called 'root' isn't the *real* root account. :)
Ba-bing, ba-bing...
[off to make some minor... 'adjustments' to my systems]
--
--
Uncle Don Ross dr...@world.std.com
any doctor can tell you that racial superiority is not a question of skin
color; it is a question if navel orientation. innie's are clearly superior.
Geoff Depew
>Eric Pederson (er...@bofh.org.uk) wrote:
>: Ack! Admin for an ISP? After reading a.s.r for as long as I have? I have a
>: hard enough time being civil to lusers at my current (and past) jobs. And
>: my lusers are allegedly-clueful developers and techs.
>:
>: Take calls from lusers about Win95 and Netscape?
>:
>: * DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, DANGER *
>Been there. Done that. Be afraid... Be *very* afraid...
Been there, done that, got out while I still had a shred of sanity
left. So what do I do now?
Admin a WinNT network for what's basically a temp agency. I swear,
sometimes I wonder what the hell I did in my past life...
Geoff Depew
>On Mon, 04 Mar 1996 21:54:42 GMT, er...@bofh.org.uk (Eric Pederson)
>wrote:
>>>Maybe...I need a techsupport/admin type...
>>
>>Ack! Admin for an ISP? After reading a.s.r for as long as I have? I have a
>>hard enough time being civil to lusers at my current (and past) jobs. And
>>my lusers are allegedly-clueful developers and techs.
>>
>>Take calls from lusers about Win95 and Netscape?
>>
>>* DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, DANGER *
>Oh, it's not so bad.
>*twitch*
>Just look at it as a way to educate people.
>*shudder*
>And think of the challenge when you get one who just bought the first
>computer he's ever used...Yesterday.
>*tremble*
>So what if he can't tell the difference between a monitor and a modem?
>You can show him the light.
>*oh god! Not him again!!*
>And what will be your reward after many years of service as tech
>support?
>A lifetime supply of prozac, lithium, and phenobarbitol, plus a nice
>room with soft rubber wallpaper.
>Hmmm.
>(Ned rereads his post and....)
>AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
>Down, not across.
Let's sing now to those noble little BASTIONS of bringing technology
to the People!
"We love you, Compaq, oh yes we do...
And we love Packard Bell, Ooh ooh ooh ooh
And when we think of them, it makes us SPEW....
Oh Compaq guys.... FSCK YOU!"
I did Tech Support Over The Phone for A Web Browser. I'd rather bleed
out my eyes than configure another Win95 Dial Up Notworking for a
brain-dead luser.
Why do I hate Compaq so much? Because they install web browsers on
their Win95 systems... and don't install Dial Down Notworking, and
DON'T GIVE THEM THE ORIGINAL DISKS! FSCKING SNOTNOSED PUNKS!
>** Tell the users you love them. say it with flowers.**
> **Send them a Triffid**
(I like this. Can I steal it?)