xenu manifesto
xenu_maximus
Preamble:
Any good troll worth his salt has a manifestoe, it helps you understand
what his beef is. Thus is the purpose of my
manifestoe, it is to serve notice to those who need it that they will
have to reflect upon the peeves they ahve cause:
Introduction:
Usenet is a place of recreation, also a place to rant, for some a place
to lurk, other more, confused people seem to think it
is for spamming with k00kscreed, spamming in general or defining usenet
policy over which they have no authority, in this
form these would be net cops. Where you find trolls, you will find
netcops, and conversely, the opposite is true.
Why do I troll:
Because I can, usenet is a large, vast ocean of no man's land. Unless a
group is slated as moderated, it is inherently
UNmoderated, and although each group has it's own faq, which gives
posting guidelines and the like, the truth is, such a
doucment bears no real authority. People are still free to post as they
see fit, as well as apply killfiles as they see fit.
This fact is the first ostabcle to a netcop's flawed logic.
Items (Peeves of interest)
Liberals: Liberals will always be a peeve of priority, because the truth
is, they are far more deeply mired in their
bullshit dogma than most groups, anything liberal good, anything not,
must be part of a vast right wing conspiracy. They
blindly follow Michael Moore even though his treason is obvious. They
perpetuate the feminist Political Correctedness agenda
shamelessly, and are nothing without the cult of the victim and the
welfare dependency complex. Without victims to champion,
real or imagined, these people have nothing relevant in their lives.
Hypocracy is their calling card.
Right wingers: Equal airtime for equal evils, as the loonie lefties have
their twits, so does the Christian right, who has
spewed out no shortage of loons in their time, including such winners as
Jerry Fallwell who blamed 911 on the gay agenda.
(Hint: There is no gay agenda, just a bunch of people with inferiority
complexes who dont understand how reproduction works.)
These people are just as likely to attack, smear and undermine the
efforts of anything that is against them (Must be leftie),
and thus earn peevehood all on their own.
UFO Nuts: These guys are always fun, and in fact contribute some of the
better net k00ks out there on the circuit. John
Winston, Twonky among others. These are the guys who believe in tin foil
hats, Art bell and grey headed pheotus stealers.
Where they are, there will be k00kologists, and where they be, there is
trollin' to be done. It's like sharks to a frenzy.
PETA: Where to even begin, these are those eco terror funding losers
who believe every animal has the same rights
that you do, even liberals shy away from these freaks. The worst thing
about them, is although they will go to great lengths
to avoid admitting it, the ones who don't spread their views with
organized acts of arson, fund those that do. These are ELF
and ALF, and members of peta frequently have mutual memberships in both
organizations.
Yuppie Infestation: This is whats going on at least in my neighborhood.
You will someone sell a farm or have a parcel of
unused land where you could reasonably build maybe three houses, and this
will be strip mined and you will shove in a whole
culdasac, and the houses will be thrown up in record time, with the
crappiest particle board and then sold off at $300,000 to
yuppie breeder scum who start bagging out kids, cluttering what little of
a yard they have with kinder crap and polluting the
area with SUVs, cell phones, kinder crap and screaming brats. They then
try to take over the town and spread their virus to
the rest of the areas they don't infest.
Breeders: See above, these folks are not just parents, they are
breeders, this is what they live to do. Nothing is more
important, more special than their brats. they have entitlement on the
brain and the world revolves around either their kids,
or them, because they have kids, just ask them.
Suv Cell phone using scum: These are those clueless scum you see whenever
you drive anywhere. Driving a vehicle that is
way too big for them, guzzles gas at a rate that makes arabs salivate
and they just can't ever, ever be made to put that
infernal cell phone down. typical these vermin come in two forms, harried
breeders who can't drive because they are on their
phone or yelling at their fussing brats. Or they are some little twenty
two year bimbo who jsut cant part with her phone
because she'll be out of the loop until she gets home, god forbid.
K00Ks: This is too general a category to get into by any sense
of category, they are too numerous, but they all seem
to have a few things in common. First of which, hidden forces are out to
silence them as they sermonize usenet with their
secret knowledge. Normal folks call it k00kscreed, but to them, it is
life itself and only they can enlighten us. Many of
them actively try to stalk, drive offline and otherwise harass those who
dare disagree them, you know the normals.
Mens rights: These people are like namla members, they are for the
downtrodden, the oppressed, that poor little white
middle class male who doesnt want to stay married or pay the allimony and
child support that they own the missus, sorry, they
call them discards. They think they should have access to their kids but
shouldn't have to pay for it. Women that were raped
were "asking for it", and they quiet seem to be okay with women beating
to. Some of the k00ks that revolve around this farce
make false claims of being trial consultants while others show their
darker sides a bit too much. fair to say these folks
have spit out more than one stalker or loon. Pangborn?
Conversely there are more than a few feminists who go too far and
need to get over themselves and their lost cause as
well, so by the same above logic, I fail to see why they can't be
considered fair game well.
Smokers Rights: These are the people who among other things are
pushing the claim that smoking is a national civic
duty, and that they have the right to poison not just themselves but
those around them. Simply put, they don't, and because
they become increasingly belligerent in their rhetoric, they must be
trolled. They cry about smoking bans, but we have yet to
live in the righteous age where roving goon squads search homes for
cancer sticks and flush them, so I naturally dont see
what the big deal is.
Religion: Must be broken down by faith:
Catholicism and it's recovery: I say and it's recovery
because, let's face it, how many of you know "happy"
catholics? I would wager very few. Many are "recovering" from dealing
with abusive nuns and priests, or catholic school. It
seems that the catholic church has been much more important than the
catholic faith, figure out what I'm saying. And more to
the point, until the priesthood comes to grips with it's sex scandal and
FIXES it, it has no moral authority at all.
Mormons: Mormons are a farce, believing in a white salamander
and started by a guy on the run for
murder from vermont. Nuff said. False faith made by a false messiah.
Scientology: Yet another cult, even worse than the mormons,
because what church needs lawyers to survivor.
These scumbags try to get their tentacles into every available nook or
cranny that they can, and ruin people's lives. Anyone
who has a beef with sciencraptology has a point.
Atheists: Are simply idiots who have the ironic viewpoint of
believing in nothing sacred yet being very
much on their high horse. They have no moral authority and they believe
in n othing. They are whats wrong with America.
Conclusion: As you can see, there is more than a little bit of stuff
to work with here, so this is just the beginning, no
doubt there will be others who will reveal themselves. Itemize a list of
k00ks an kookologists alone would be an undertaking
of constant effort as the list of both never seems to be getting any
smaller. So in short, where there are k00ks, there will
be kookologists, and where there are those, there will be trolls, and
there, I will be.