Real Surrealists
Nikolaus Maack
more. They smear the bloody snot on passers by. They use a fork to pick
their nose -- did I mention that? A fork. Pull the nostril open wide
with one hand, jam the fork up there with the other.
Not no plastic fork, not a stainless steel fork. This is stainable steel.
Gotta order these forks from Mexico, ten at a time, they only come in
sets of ten. Ugly gray battleship metal turns rust red over time from
snot and blood.
Real surrealists like the fork up there, and sometimes don't bother to
pull it out, leave it stuffed up their nose, walk around like that. One
fork up each nostril, sometimes, and they walk around the city streets,
daring people to say something. Eyes squinting a challenge at everyone.
Little kid yells out, "Hey, why you got dem two forks up your nose?"
Sneer, "It's art, kid."
"It's STOOPID art, then."
The surrealist blinks, blinks, blinks, blinks, blinks.
"Uh...."
Nik
--
Face The Art of Faces Being Faced
The Nik Maack Art Gallery
http://members.xoom.com/gotnik/
dale houstman
Nikolaus Maack <ac...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA> wrote in message
news:86l1lb$abp$1...@freenet9.carleton.ca...
I smell idiot. OLD idiot. Oh - it's Nik the Irrelevant. Just when you think
the world's puked out another hairball it turns out its just this fatigued
Canadian tripe...
Nikolaus Maack
to do to draw out Dale is use the phrase "Real surrealists are X". Works
every time. I suggest if you find yourself bored at home on a dreary
Tuesday afternoon, you do the same. Watch the little red flecks dance
across Dale's pupils and his brow furrow into a sullen washboard. It's
fun.
"dale houstman" (dm...@mindspring.com) writes:
> I smell idiot. OLD idiot. Oh - it's Nik the Irrelevant. Just when you think
> the world's puked out another hairball it turns out its just this fatigued
> Canadian tripe...
Stick a fork up this boy's nose -- he's done.
dale houstman
john adams <gala...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20000125201011...@ng-cg1.aol.com...
> >real surrealists - non.exit.sense> news:86l8mp$dig$1...@freenet9.carleton.ca...
>
> > ... use the phrase "Real surrealists are X". Works
> > every time. I suggest if you find yourself bored at home on a dreary
>
> Same old broken 45
Easy quiz: who is the DULLEST surrealist?
Nik Maack.
DMH
mr_punch
john adams
Same old broken 45
Nikolaus Maack
> Easy quiz: who is the DULLEST surrealist?
> Nik Maack.
So now you admit that I am in fact a surrealist. That's progress.
Mags
Elephants are not camels.
fluffy...@prodigy.net
Surrealists. They know it in their elephant true green camel dreams.
>
> So now you admit that I am in fact a surrealist. That's progress.
>
> Nik
>
> --
> Face The Art of Faces Being Faced
> The Nik Maack Art Gallery
> http://members.xoom.com/gotnik/
>
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
dale houstman
Mags <mk...@is9.nyu.edu> wrote in message
news:Pine.SOL.4.21.000126...@is9.nyu.edu...
> hm.
>
> On 26 Jan 2000, Nikolaus Maack wrote:
>
> > "dale houstman" (dm...@mindspring.com) writes:
> > > Easy quiz: who is the DULLEST surrealist?
> > > Nik Maack.
Even surrealists make mistakes: I meant who is the DULLEST
non-surrealist?
Better?
DMH
Mags
Mr. Bean
Ok, what's the prize?
Mags
Elephants are not camels.
dale houstman
> I have the answer:
> Mr. Bean
>
part with the organ that houses his intelligence.
And really: you can't tell me Mr. Bean is Duller than Tom Brokaw (for
instance)?
Try again...
DMH
Ed
surrealism by pounding live mics into power-grinders and blowing up
shit on stage. They've set more than a few places on fire too. Banned
from more bars & clubs around the world than any other band ever! The
Haters are the ultimate outsiders drunk on decay! No music here. Just
NOISE!!! That's all that fucking counts!
http://www.idrive.com/haters/web/
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Mags
Mags
On Wed, 26 Jan 2000, dale houstman wrote:
Elephants are not camels.
elag
Nikolaus Maack wrote:
>
> "dale houstman" (dm...@mindspring.com) writes:
> > Easy quiz: who is the DULLEST surrealist?
> > Nik Maack.
>
Nikolaus Maack
oppress the masses. We must actively eliminate humour. All of this will
be explained in my latest tract, which I am currently working on. I'll be
sure to post the more formal version once it is completed. I think Dale
Houstman might appreciate the tract a great deal, as I think he lives his
life based on such principles.
The premise is that humour involves the bearing of ones teeth in a sort of
happy snarl. One person is pointed at and is marked as somehow
"different" or "lacking". Everyone in the group "laughs" -- that is,
snarls happily. The one considered different is chased from the group via
this "comedy".
In modern times, the sitcom uses this to oppress the masses. For example,
in FRIENDS we find a cluster of happy, thin, healthy, souless consumers.
Each week some sort of "deviance" takes place. One of the FRIENDS
characters moves away from the norm. This is "funny". Everyone laughs at
the person until, by the end of the show, the character moves back into
the fold, once again returning to "normal".
This pattern -- repeated endlessly in almost every sitcom -- encourages
the watcher to understand that deviance of any kind from the norm is
funny. Different is funny. Laugh at anyone who doesn't follow The Rules.
Given this state of affairs, all humour must be eliminated. No one must
laugh. We must all walk around frowning, dressed in black, contemplating
death and the politics of despair. It is especially important not to
laugh at ourselves, as this will lead to isolation, schizophrenia, and
ultimately our own deaths.
Nik
PS.
Just kidding.
Nikolaus Maack
> http://www.idrive.com/haters/web/
I'm looking at this webpage, and a few semi-random thoughts come to mind:
1) All cults need jargon. Even if you're going to use jargon as a joke,
it still becomes jargon. Just ask a subgenius all about this -- they make
up words and concepts as a form of comedy, and people memorize the terms
and take them seriously anyway. That's kinda depressing, but also funny.
There's got to be a way around this. (Maybe making up jargon with
definitions that change based on some random element -- like the weather
or a roll of the dice?) Xylowave, kettleday, anti-time, polywave,
transexpansion numeral unit, etc. Please don't expect me to take this
seriously, or even enjoy it. Then again, there's something to be said for
this kind of deadpan comedy. If that's what it is.
My personal bias is showing. Oh well.
2) ADDING TO THE PROBLEM BY ALL MEANS POSSIBLE and LIFE IS NO TIME TO BE
PRACTICAL are great slogans. Insane slogans such as these always draw
people in, especially when they look like they might make sense, but
probably don't.
3) The idea of a "Tattoo of Nothing" -- a tattoo artist making a tattoo
without using ink -- is incredibly catchy. But most of the performances
seem loud, irritating, destructive, and pointless. In other words, they
sound like fun. I would never go to one in a million years. I'm
surprised that a group founded on destruction and entropy can last so very
long and be so prolific.
4) Some of your intellectual gibberish and joking is quite catchy. From
THE FUSE:
"All answers are all equally correct.
"However, an answer will not always be workable.
"What makes an answer workable, or not, is the contect it is enacted
within. The accuracy of an answer is completely dependent on the personal
aesthetics involved in any given debate. An answer only remains workable
for those who are sensitive and agreeable to the aesthetics with which the
answer was fractionated from. An answer is a byproduct of the act of
definition."
Nice. I'm going to go over these texts later and give them more of my
attention. How odd that, being founded on entropy, there are some
interesting ideas that seem strangely "constructive" in here.
5) Definitely an URL worth checking out, and keeping an eye on. Thanks
for posting it.
6) Listening to industrial music (www.stitch.com) while reading this
webpage was probably a bad idea.
Nik