I paddled out in the Rivermouth where the wind was howling cross shore.
Rode waves into the Cove where it was more offshore and somewhat
sheltered by the big point. Sets to 1.5x head high. Sectiony. Some soft
takeoffs, others were air drops depending on whether the chop and short
period stuff was your friend or not. Lots of paddling to deal with the
wind and longshore current. High sparkle factor. I saw a dolphin, and
threw sticks with a friendly dog on the beach for a while, but no
SURF_DOPE.
Checked the consignment racks at two of my local surfshops on the ay
home and noticed that the wind had swung around and was now blowing
offshore at Freak Street. I suited up again, drank lots of water in
lieu of a snack, made a long walk from the Plan C parking lot, and
paddled out in front of the shithouse.
Shifty peaks. Lots of paddling against the longshore current. Some fun
waves! Long, slopey faces with massive combing spray blowing off the
tops. Faith-based takeoffs into blinding spray. I had to really hunker
down when riding to get any speed against the wind. The inside Freak
Street sections were downright gorgeous at times. Green, green, backlit
lips, golden manes combing 40 feet in the air, and steep hollow
sections if you could get them. Relentless longshore current in there
made it really hard to hold position. Sweet runs through speedy
sections with big sweeping cutbacks on soft shoulders.
Feasted on Thanksgiving leftovers when I got home. I brined the bird
before roasting over charcoal and hickory chips. Great smoky, salty
flavor. The apple pie was superb. The folks at Cooks Magazine were
really onto something when they figured out how to precook the apples
without causing them to get soggy. It makes such a difference.
Swell is supposed to hold through tomorrow. We'll see what the wind
does.
AwooOOOO!!!
Surfer Bob
Surf was good on Wednesday and Thurs. Swell stayed
in the rideable range (2-3 ft) through Friday morning, but the
wind was wrong, by then.
-----------------------
Chexter
"Who the hell needs Sigfried and Roy?
We've got Preston and Fraudd!!"
Dude, this is alt.surfing, you can't hold out on the recipe! What's
this newsgroup coming to...
I surfed a very secluded spot (now includes a security guard to match
the old locked gate) Saturday evening from 2:30 to sunset. Clean,
clear crisp day, much like those Granny Smith's in the aforementioned
pie. With air clarity, Monterey looked to be a stones throw away, and
Moss was close enough to touch.
Swell moved from Friday's W direction to a lower period NW and wasn't
wrapping all the way in. But with 5-10 knot offshores, crowd control
in place, leashless longboards in tow, it was a quality afternoon of
tip-time. I don't know the guy, but wanted to be like Dane Perlee,
easily pulling 10's and super elevated fives the whole length of the
wave. Insane to watch. Great visuals with the small fans out the back
and super clean peelers streaking across the horizon.
I settled for a post-sesh oat toffee cookie and
double-nonfat-mocha-with-whip at the Coffeetopia and drooled over my
surf-mate's apple-cinnamon turnover with powdered sugar on top. It
looked luscious and was the last one...but he wouldn't hand over a
taste
.
Gioni
> I surfed a very secluded spot (now includes a security guard to match
> the old locked gate) Saturday evening from 2:30 to sunset. Clean,
> clear crisp day, much like those Granny Smith's in the aforementioned
> pie. With air clarity, Monterey looked to be a stones throw away, and
> Moss was close enough to touch.
>
glad you got some.
i received a call in the afternoon from my nephew who was looking for
surf around carmel. i figured with the onshores here, he missed the sc
bay opportunity for shelter and offshores. i told him he might as well
head a little further south to the big rivermouth. thats usually a hit
or miss spot, but hopefully he found something.
> leashless longboards in tow, it was a quality afternoon of
> tip-time. I don't know the guy, but wanted to be like Dane Perlee,
> easily pulling 10's and super elevated fives the whole length of the
> wave. Insane to watch. Great visuals with the small fans out the back
> and super clean peelers streaking across the horizon.
>
so how'd you do on the toes-over-nose thing?
are you doing real fives, cheater fives, 10's or more?
gotta work on the dead animal poses for next lb contest season too ;-)
but seriously, good to start with max nose time.
lp
snipped the rest as it just makes me hungry.
From the looks of it the attempted Fall California WSD has become
something of a Food Reporting Contest, rather than a day of surfing by the
worldwide alt.surfing community. Where were the cute cheerleaders?
--------------------------------------
Rod Rodgers
"Fiant Intumesco!"
http://www.rodNDtube.com/
>From the looks of it the attempted Fall California WSD has become
>something of a Food Reporting Contest, rather than a day of surfing by the
>worldwide alt.surfing community. Where were the cute cheerleaders?
Where is your report? Mine is coming soon.
Cute cheerleaders? OK, cute cheerleaders are never a bad thing.
What? You eat grumpy flakes for breakfast this morning or what, brah? A
surf event is scheduled on Thanksgiving weekend and you are whining
about food content? Maybe you should move to a nation where
Thanksgiving is not observed, Gestapo Breath. You might need more REAL
milk with your grindage.
http://www.riptionary.com/cgi-bin/ripsearch.pl?query=grindage&stpos=0&stype=and
RTFFAQ. Surf content precedes food content and also generally exceeds
it in length. If this is in any way unclear, Foon will explain to you
the importance of food content in a proper surf report.
Where did you surf on WSD fall 2005? And what did you eat?
Surfer Bob
Then lp wrote:
> seriously, you got a link?
No link unless you subscribe to their online magazine. I'm too cheap
for that and I'm not going to transcribe the whole article from the
mag, but here's the skinny: The basic breakthrough is an understanding
of how pectin behaves when heated. Heat it too much and it breaks down
and apples get soggy. But heat it just a little and apples cook but
pectin remains intact and slices stay firm. The magic zone is like
120-140degF for about 20min. So you make your pie by your favorite
recipe, but cook the apples, spices, and sugar in a thick bottomed pan
for 20 minutes or so. They say discard the juice and just pout the
apples in the piepan, but I think it's wack to throw away all that
great juice. I add a little bit of corn starch (mixed in apple juice so
it doesn't clump) at the end to thicken up the juice, then add the
whole shebang. Fill up your pie, top crust on, bake.
The apples do not then shrink when baking, so you get a great pie
without a big air gap under the top crust. Try it- it works really
well!
Mmmmmm...
Surfer Bob
> roc...@rodndtube.com wrote:
>> From the looks of it the... Fall California WSD has become
>> something of a Food Reporting Contest, rather than a day of surfing by the
>> worldwide alt.surfing community.
>
> What? You eat grumpy flakes for breakfast this morning or what, brah? A
> surf event is scheduled on Thanksgiving weekend and you are whining
> about food content? Maybe you should move to a nation where
> Thanksgiving is not observed, Gestapo Breath. You might need more REAL
> milk with your grindage.
> http://www.riptionary.com/cgi-bin/ripsearch.pl?query=grindage&stpos=0&stype=and
I thought surfer grindage was something a surfer boy does with a blue
crush chick.
Duuuude! This is the alt.surfing in the 21st Century. Scan the article
and save it to MS Word or just post it as is. Food is important! He is
very important!
Following Steve the Mind's lead, I will reinvent *my* WSD to coincide with
the Winter Solstice Day, on Wed, Dec. 21, 2005.
Gam... just for you:
http://www.gokuta.com/event_pix/sg-cheerleaders-5.jpg
If I tell you how to make dakind apple pie just like mine, my pie might
get *hella zooed.*
http://www.riptionary.com/cgi-bin/ripsearch.pl?query=zoo&stpos=0&stype=and
Zig heil!
Surfer Bob
I thought that was bump and grindage, Mein Fuehrer. But a reliable (?)
source informs me that the correct surferly term is spadework.
http://www.riptionary.com/cgi-bin/ripsearch.pl?query=spadework&stpos=0&stype=and
SB
> Following Steve the Mind's lead, I will reinvent *my* WSD to coincide
> with the Winter Solstice Day, on Wed, Dec. 21, 2005.
>
Uh..hem......Only *I'm* allowed to do that! You have no power to decree
personal WSDays. As the keeper of the vote, that power rests solely
with me. Now, when the current term expires in 2006, you are welcome to
be the keeper of the new vote (if there is one), and the torch of
self-decreeing power *might* be passed to you. However, you must
conduct such a vote only with the upmost level of integrety and ethical
standards. I'm not so sure you're capable of that! Until that happens,
any personal WSD declared by you is null and void and shall not be
considered for possible bestowment of the thermos. It will certainly be
considered and enjoyed as a possible example of fine surf prose, but as
a means of WSD attribution?....NOT!
Later,
Steve
Slam dunk ........
Rico wrote:
> Slam dunk ........
And God:
(smiled)
So I say:
Amen, Mind! Rod, you had that coming.
SB
You've been spending too much time on the riptionary. Too much nasal salt
water???
Come on, Rico, where is your grandiose WSD report??? Let's see the thermos
in NE!!!
I'm not coming, but apparently YOU are!
Keep trying boys... we have like what, 5 WSD doh-doh reports for the
purported Fall California WSD? For a WORLD surfing day???
The little blond hitler boy speaks!
http://www.rodndtube.com/gp/gp2002/pics/original/P9150133.JPG
The rebel force carries on :)
You're crankin' on all eight cylinders tonight Rodski .
Homey don't do Novembers anymore . LOLZ !!
>Keep trying boys... we have like what, 5 WSD doh-doh reports for the
>purported Fall California WSD? For a WORLD surfing day???
Rod, what exactly is your problem with this? Granted, you didn't surf
so you would not post a report but why exactly do you care enough to
make a stink of it? (no really, I am asking).
SC/Gam, what exactly is your problem with free and open discussion? Stink
it up with YOUR report... bring on the Californy WSD Fall 2005 reports (is
that ALL there is?).
> Homey don't do Novembers anymore . LOLZ !!
Now THAT is a sweet Fall WSD 2005 report ;)
Straight from the heart Rod . ;)
>SC/Gam, what exactly is your problem with free and open discussion? Stink
>it up with YOUR report... bring on the Californy WSD Fall 2005 reports (is
>that ALL there is?).
Rod, nothing is wrong with "free and open discussion."
It's perpetual whining that is the problem.
There you go again, whine, whine, whine! Why do you keep whining about
this. Your report was much better. I'm looking for all the others!
>On Mon, 28 Nov 2005, Surfer Bob wrote:
>
>>
>>> "SteveM" <steve...@verizon.net> wrote in message
>> (Laid down the law and whacked Rod's peepee, and schooled him with
>> masterful moral authority deftly wielded with wry humor)
>>
>> Rico wrote:
>>> Slam dunk ........
>>
>> And God:
>> (smiled)
>>
>> So I say:
>> Amen, Mind! Rod, you had that coming.
>>
>> SB
>
>I'm not coming, but apparently YOU are!
>
>Keep trying boys... we have like what, 5 WSD doh-doh reports for the
>purported Fall California WSD? For a WORLD surfing day???
It wasn't exactly flat at Pipe on Turkey Day. Neil got red meat.
http://www.hisurfadvisory.com/sesh/new6/sesh642.htm
_g
>On Tue, 29 Nov 2005, The Supreme Court wrote:
>
>> rod wrote:
>>
>>> SC/Gam, what exactly is your problem with free and open discussion? Stink
>>> it up with YOUR report... bring on the Californy WSD Fall 2005 reports (is
>>> that ALL there is?).
>>
>> Rod, nothing is wrong with "free and open discussion."
>>
>> It's perpetual whining that is the problem.
>
>There you go again, whine, whine, whine! Why do you keep whining about
>this. Your report was much better. I'm looking for all the others!
>
Hey, Sully, where'd you put that sippy cup?
_g
>On Mon, 28 Nov 2005, SteveM wrote:
>
>> roc...@rodndtube.com wrote:
>> It will certainly be considered and enjoyed as a possible example
>> of fine surf prose, but as a means of WSD attribution?....NOT!
>>
>> Later,
>> Steve
>
>The little blond hitler boy speaks!
Rod, you have my vote for ASKOTY.
_g
One possibility is that Rod is clinically depressed.
---------------------------------------------------------
http://www.mentalhealth.com/book/p40-sad.html
!!The similarity of symptoms between SAD and atypical depression
prompted studies of the clinical overlap between the two diagnoses.
Pande et al [6] found high seasonality scores in 30 patients with
defined atypical depression: 63% had seasonality scores in the range
of SAD or 'subsyndromal' SAD. Conversely, Terman and Stewart [7] also
found high rates of cardinal symptoms of atypical depression (mood
reactivity and rejection sensitivity) in a cohort of SAD patients.!!
---------------------------------------------------------
SAD sucks and it shows up this time of year.
_g
Thanks for your vote of confidence. BTW... when did people here become so
over the top PC and easily offended... and forget about the meaning of
!!!!!! or ;) At least SteveM knows better (unless he decides to run the
ASKOTY campaign). I may have to consult with _Flek next week on these
matters ;)
>>There you go again, whine, whine, whine! Why do you keep whining about
>>this. Your report was much better. I'm looking for all the others!
>>
>
> Hey, Sully, where'd you put that sippy cup?
The Sippy isn't a perennial, where names get
added on like the Thermos. It's individually
awarded, and individually crafted:
Rod's has a leash:
http://www.sippyleash.com/home3.jpg
Congratulations, Rod, take a bow!
Mike
LOL! I will task Foon to secure me a grow lamp that can be affixed to my
automobile. He will be providing me some therapeutic assistance tomorrow
night I believe.
> There you go again, whine, whine, whine! Why do you keep whining about
>this. Your report was much better. I'm looking for all the others!
I'm not exactly sure I ever engaged you on this issue before. Perhaps,
I did but I really do not remember. Not worth remembering, really. It's
kind of farking stupid.
Either way, I suppose you have to actually surf to post a report.
> BTW... when did people here become
> so over the top PC and easily offended... and forget about the meaning
> of !!!!!! or ;)
Ya
>At least SteveM knows better (unless he decides to run
> the ASKOTY campaign).
Nah, I think I could best serve AS by reviving my
ascii-interpretation-ability seminars. Keys points of it may include,
but are not limited to:
-- You TOO can learn to rise above the gimmicks and cutsie 'net
conventions and recognize humor and/or joking without the need for ;)
<lol> :-) etc. to hold your hand.
-- You TOO can say, "Yeah, there was a time when I just couldn't make it
without my daily fix of ;) , :-) , <lol> , or =:^0,
but now I just read everything as if it was one huge implied <insert
smiley face here>
-- You TOO can say, "It's only the 'net, it's only the 'net"
-- You TOO can learn how to explain "How I stopped worrying and learned
to love the emoticonless 'net"
-- You TOO can vow to surf the waves before you surf the 'net, so the
result will be that anything you read can't help but be viewed through
the perspective of that poo-eatn' grin on your face, and everythings cool.
*BUT*, the coup-de-gras (or however the heck that's spelled...or even if
it's used in the right context?), of this seminar will be......
MAKE MORE HUMOR, NAAAAAAOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!
Then again, these seminars were, and apparently still are, failures and
utterly futile.....Nevermind.
Later,
Steve
Surf is a proven cure. The stuff under the grow lamp ain't a bad
start.
_g
I am simply lost for ;) :) :( ;( :P or whatever. <---------<g>
Are you suggesting that Shaft NEVER surfs?!
>
> LOL! I will task Foon to secure me a grow lamp that can be affixed to my
> automobile. He will be providing me some therapeutic assistance tomorrow
> night I believe.
>
Ummmm.....Is it just me, or does this seem to fall under the proverbial
"Too Much Information" category??
Later,
Steve
Has Roderick been officially nominated and put into the running for
ASKOTY 2005? I see all the signs of an escalating meltdown in progress:
100+ posts per day, overuse of exclamation points, tantrum-like quality
to posts (possibly fueled by large quantities of Guinness), and an
awarding of the AS sippy cup! Congrats Rod! :)
-jw (no stranger to meltdowns...)
>Ummmm.....Is it just me, or does this seem to fall under the proverbial
>"Too Much Information" category??
This is Rod's way of suggesting I buy him a beer tonight at an inconveniently
located slacker bar we sometimes go to (he likes to check out the Goth chicks)
since he'll be shoving off to Florida and Puerto Rico over the next few weeks.
If he's in the run for ASKOTY I don't think he'll be able to sustain in the home
stretch. A latecoming dark horse with pure pedigree and a nose for the
finishline could make a sweep. He's got much too much on his plate to dig in and
spew. But I've got plenty of Rodpics to post while he's gone to keep his flame
alive.
fpponooninny
>SteveM says...
>
>>Ummmm.....Is it just me, or does this seem to fall under the proverbial
>>"Too Much Information" category??
>
>This is Rod's way of suggesting I buy him a beer tonight at an inconveniently
>located slacker bar we sometimes go to (he likes to check out the Goth chicks)
Get him a Coors Light, but, careful with the pull tab.
>since he'll be shoving off to Florida and Puerto Rico over the next few weeks.
>If he's in the run for ASKOTY I don't think he'll be able to sustain in the home
>stretch.
Just when he charged ahead by a nose, he's dropping out of the race?
Give him more beer!
_g
Tooooo much ascii interpretation or interpolation or extrapolation... he
knows what beers I like :)
> On 30 Nov 2005 06:14:20 -0800, Foon <fo...@removenewsguy.com> wrote:
>
>> SteveM says...
>>
>>> Ummmm.....Is it just me, or does this seem to fall under the proverbial
>>> "Too Much Information" category??
>>
>> This is Rod's way of suggesting I buy him a beer tonight at an inconveniently
>> located slacker bar we sometimes go to (he likes to check out the Goth chicks)
>
> Get him a Coors Light, but, careful with the pull tab.
What brand is the space needle cups of suds? Looks like that one pointed
out by Chexster is a higher quality cork popper.
>> since he'll be shoving off to Florida and Puerto Rico over the next few weeks.
>> If he's in the run for ASKOTY I don't think he'll be able to sustain in the home
>> stretch.
Yep, but I will be hanging with these right of right friends of mine, not
to mention a planned encounter with the politically uncategorical "is the
world still flat Flek?"
> Just when he charged ahead by a nose, he's dropping out of the race?
> Give him more beer!
Been too sober and without waves... isn't that ALWAYS the problem???
No. But the truth HURTS so badly.
Nonetheless, kudos to G for picking Ophelia 50 days in advance... why
weren't you in the contest???
> _g
Deep bow, slowly. Stepping slowly backwards as the curtains come down.
Encore?
Have any photos of Rod hitting on the Goth chicks? That could
constitute ASKOTY material, if properly worked up.
"Hey baby! Come here often?"
<SPLASH!> "Get lost, weird old dude!"
Surfer Bob
>Have any photos of Rod hitting on the Goth chicks? That could
>constitute ASKOTY material, if properly worked up.
>
>"Hey baby! Come here often?"
>
><SPLASH!> "Get lost, weird old dude!"
hmmmmmm, Rod and the Goths. Could be my next photo exercise. How to "light" Rod
to hide his age yet highlight all the depressing black the goth chics wear. On a
related note, while in Whimington NC recently we happened into a chain store
called World Market which is trying to out pier Pier One. Our checker was a
sweet young thing wearing shorts and a tank top, about age 20, with just about
every available patch of skin inked in technicolor tribute to cartoons. Only 5
piercings i could see but one was a bar through the bridge of her nose. This in
the bible belt of Noff Cahlina where they still have blue laws.
-Foon
Two words: cake makeup!
> ...every available patch of skin inked in technicolor tribute to cartoons....
Wow. Imagine feeling strongly enough about *cartoons* to etch them onto
every inch of your body. She takes her irony seriously!
> ..one was a bar through the bridge of her nose...
Ouch...
> ...the bible belt of Noff Cahlina...
...would probably remember the Old Testament prohibition against
tattoos. Leviticus 19:28
" 'Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on
yourselves. I am the LORD.
Shocking. Shocking. OTOH, Jesus has absolutely nothing to say about
tattoos. I wonder how God feels about tattoos of Jesus? I know a
Christian minister who has them all over.
Surfer Bob
Duuude... that simply isn't how it is! No Gothies here... that is REALLY
Foonie's thing.
http://surfasc.org/reports/2003/0426-7dmv/original/P4260027.JPG
http://rodndtube.com/rodtemp/jr_rod-2.jpg
> Foon wrote:
>> hmmmmmm, Rod and the Goths. Could be my next photo exercise. How to "light" Rod
>> to hide his age yet highlight all the depressing black the goth chics wear.
>
> Two words: cake makeup!
Nah... Foon forgets that he naturally lightens me up!
Ahem ....
http://surfasc.org/reports/2003/0426-7dmv/original/P4260027.JPG
Full body contact there buddy .....
Looks like you're sporting wood .
You bad boy !
roc...@rodndtube.com wrote:
> Nah... Foon forgets that he naturally lightens me up!
You should probably try for perky goth then.
Darkly,
SB
Who's the creepy old dude in the jumpsuit?
You have the wrong search image, Rodrigo. *This* is the goth surfer
girl you are looking for:
http://community.webshots.com/photo/515826584/515831595UlCEOQ
> http://rodndtube.com/rodtemp/jr_rod-2.jpg (
June 2005)
It's amazing what a gut can do in two years.
Now where the hell are my POINTS!!??
So true... where there was 4, now there is 1, lol!
Excuse me. That's a warmup ensemble if you please.(you should see the purple one
when he does his Fresh Prince of Arbutus thing) And those girls loved that
creepy old dude after his waxing demonstration, wetsuit adjustment advice and
impromptu surf lesson. I don't know how he does it. I did ask them to "lean in"
to make sure they got in the shot :)
-Foon
Doh!
Where's the link to 'Doh!'
http://www.gotwavs.com/cgi-bin/tvmp3s.cgi?Simpsons=32dohs.mp3
http://www.gotwavs.com/cgi-bin/tvwavs.cgi?Simpsons=32dohs.wav
Mmmmm... "Doh" nuts!
Surfer Bob
They got these new things called "wetsuits".
Have you heard of them?
Took you long enough to find that post my little hemorrhoid .
Just another sad day in AS...
Tell you what... you can stay on the NG. You are entertaining
at times... just don't try to impersonate a surfer.
Right.....that's *your* job, after all.
Along with your other vocation,
impersonating a human being.
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Tony
Which fratboy are you?
Shaft's for real, dude.
He wrote FOOD on the thermos.
One letter every two point five months.
Okay , as long as you don't either .
Took him that long, to figure out how to spell it.
-------------------------------------
Chexter
"Who the hell needs Sigfried and Roy?
We've got Preston and Fraudd!!"
Looks like I got 4 frat boys on this thread.
Just need doc to collect the whole set!
Pathetic.
You haven't an inkling.
Thats the thing w/frat boys. When you talk to one,
the others show up.
It's about time you showed up, frat boy.
Things getting a little slow for you too, this time of yr?
Aren't you the guy who doesn't surf in january?
http://tinyurl.com/dz2xk
Well yes you are!
Try to remember who you are... I do.
I just love the fantasy world you've concocted about the N.E. crew .
I don't care if you have problems with myself not living up to your hard
ass standards .
Surfing is not my raison d'etre ; it's something I've done for fun forty
years now . I feel sorry for you if it's yours 'cause you too will get old .
I have other interests too ; I guess you don't ; that makes you one
dimensional , also makes me sorry for the children you have fathered .
I'm pretty sure you've never surfed N.E. in January ; especially C.C. ; I
have ; I don't anymore .
Get back to me when you're chasing 60 about surfing here in Jan . I figure
that will be in about 20 years .
I could probably write your response to this post too .
You're boring and predictable .
Where there's one fratboy, there's more!
> Surfing is not my raison d'etre
Then why are you on alt.surfing calling out ppl for not surfing?
> it's something I've done for fun forty
> years now . I feel sorry for you if it's yours 'cause you too will get old .
> I have other interests too ; I guess you don't ; that makes you one
> dimensional , also makes me sorry for the children you have fathered .
> I'm pretty sure you've never surfed N.E. in January ; especially C.C. ; I
> have ; I don't anymore .
Or december, or november, or febuary, or march, or april....
Don't blame me cause you live in a frozen hellhole...
> Get back to me when you're chasing 60 about surfing here in Jan . I figure
> that will be in about 20 years .
>
> I could probably write your response to this post too .
> You're boring and predictable .
But you can't put me or the booze down, tweeco!
No , I won't dance with you anymore sweetcheeks .
What do you expect, Rick? He's simply a clueless, hypocritical
punk. Contradicts himself in the same thread.
I see his 'fantasies' about other people as a sad indication of
the greater, more grandiose fantasy he's constructed about
himself.
-----------------------------------
Yeah , I'm tired of fucking around with what is essentially a shallow puddle
of santorum .
Rico wrote:
> "The Checkered Demon" <checkyd2000(at)yahoo.com> wrote in message
> > I see his 'fantasies' about other people as a sad indication of
> > the greater, more grandiose fantasy he's constructed about
> > himself.
> >
Why didn't you say so, honey?
Put your grubby little elf hands around my waste and lets dance!