Opinions Please - First Perception of Tall Women (or tired of being mistaken for a man)
Tori Rollings
I am a 30 yo female 6'1"+ and am sick of being mistaken for a man when
I go into stores. The situation is usually this: I walk into some
store (doesn't matter what the product is) with my husband, even ... a
sales person will approach me and ask: "May I help you sir?" I am
usually so flabergasted (spelling?) that all I can do is blurt out:
"That's MAAM".
I usually get mistaken for a man about 3 times a year. The most
frustrating time this happened was at a department store this
Christmas. I was buying a gift from the kitchen department and there
were 3 sales clerks standing around a register. I took my purchase up
to the counter and the one running the cash register asked: May I
help you SIR. I did the same thing I always do and blurted out That's
MAAM (or I am a Woman ... thankyou very much ... or somehting like
that). The sales woman actually denied that she said sir and started
giggling which prompted the others to begin laughing, also. Needless
to say, this was very humiliating and degrading.
I am very interested to find out if any other women have had the same
or similar experiences.
jaasper
at that store. I simply left it at the counter and headed for customer
service and filled out a complaint. After working for many years in
retail I find that behavior completely unacceptable! I did the same
at a department store when I overheard a shoe department clerk making
fun of my shoe size.
Correcting people politely is all one can do. I refuse to change the
way I dress and wear my hair, but I also try not to let it bother me
too much. It happened much more when I was a kid and in High School so
I guess I got used to it!
Janet
Mary Meyer
writes:
>Hi,
>
>I am a 30 yo female 6'1"+ and am sick of being mistaken for a man when
>I go into stores. The situation is usually this: I walk into some
>store (doesn't matter what the product is) with my husband, even ... a
>sales person will approach me and ask: "May I help you sir?" I am
>usually so flabergasted (spelling?) that all I can do is blurt out:
>"That's MAAM".
>I am very interested to find out if any other women have had the same
>or similar experiences.
>
I'm a 45 yo woman, 5'10" and I've had this happen to me many times. It
doesn't seem to matter that my hair is about 6" below my shoulders, my
makeup and earrings go unnoticed, I too am mistaken for a man. I just
give the clerk a shocked look, they feel really stupid about their
error and apologize. I think they just notice a tall person approach,
and before really looking up from their work, assume the tall person is
a man. When I'm in riding gear and on my motorcycle with a helmet, I
can understand the error, but not when I'm in street clothes. I don't
take it personally, the person in error is just unobservant.
Mary Meyer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Consultant - Bay Area Safety Services - Safety & Preparedness
Motorcycle Rider Instructor
Emergency Preparedness Trainer
KF6BNC
sherri kangas
have short hair. It also happened to me when my hair was really
long, so I think my height has more to do with their misperception
than my other physical characteristics.
Most recently I was in a Starbucks and the guy behind the counter called
me sir. Like most people who call me sir, he was embarassed when he
realized his mistake. When it happens to me I ignore it and continue on
with my business. I figure it's not worth getting upset about and is no
reflection on me.
freezelandfreida
In article <4lbell$u...@trellis.wwnet.com>, trol...@wwnet.com says...
>
>Hi,
>
>I am a 30 yo female 6'1"+ and am sick of being mistaken for a man when
>I go into stores. The situation is usually this: I walk into some
>store (doesn't matter what the product is) with my husband, even ... a
>sales person will approach me and ask: "May I help you sir?" I am
>usually so flabergasted (spelling?) that all I can do is blurt out:
>"That's MAAM".
>
>frustrating time this happened was at a department store this
>Christmas. I was buying a gift from the kitchen department and there
>were 3 sales clerks standing around a register. I took my purchase up
>to the counter and the one running the cash register asked: May I
>help you SIR. I did the same thing I always do and blurted out That's
>MAAM (or I am a Woman ... thankyou very much ... or somehting like
>that). The sales woman actually denied that she said sir and started
>giggling which prompted the others to begin laughing, also. Needless
>to say, this was very humiliating and degrading.
>
>or similar experiences.
>
see these harnessed boulders sticking (literally most times) in their face? While I admit
that they are not huge...more like mini-boulders...they, nonetheless, are right there. Of
course, it doesn't help that my voice is rather low also. This happens to me a lot more
often than 2 or 3 times a year. My standard response is "Pardon me?" Most people
catch on and apologize. Then there are the few bozos...
Sheryl Coppenger
In article <4lmbp0$5...@news.citynet.net>,
freezelandfreida <freezela...@citynet.net> wrote:
>>
>YES, YES, YES! I am only 6' tall, but all my life I have been called sir. Can people not
>see these harnessed boulders sticking (literally most times) in their face? While I admit
>that they are not huge...more like mini-boulders...they, nonetheless, are right there. Of
>course, it doesn't help that my voice is rather low also. This happens to me a lot more
>often than 2 or 3 times a year. My standard response is "Pardon me?" Most people
>catch on and apologize. Then there are the few bozos...
>
Happens to me too, and not only is there the factor of ignoring the "boulders"
but my voice is very high. I also have a very girlish, "baby-faced" look
and my hair averages shoulder length or longer. Some people are just idiots,
what can you do? But I think a lot of people only half-look and go by
height they perceive out of the corner of their eye. Those folks always
get embarrassed and correct themselves.
My look runs to jeans and T-shirts, no makeup. Currently I live near a
largely-gay part of town and occasionally will run into a group of drag
queens that not only tower over me but make me feel incredibly dowdy. :-)
I think they're very cool, but it's a very strange feeling. And sometimes
in that neighborhood if I get addressed by the wrong word or if I get
a lot of scrutiny I wonder if someone thinks I'm a guy in drag because of
my height. Sometimes I have the urge to say, "Look, if I were a guy I
would be much better turned out." :-)
"We're all born naked, the rest is drag." -- RuPaul
--
Sheryl Coppenger SEAS Computing Facility Staff she...@seas.gwu.edu
The George Washington University (202) 994-6853
Karen Ann Metivier Carreiro
sherri kangas (gta...@xnet.com) wrote:
: This has also happened to me many times. I'm also 6' 1" and currently
I'm short by this group's standards (5'12", thank you :-) but I
*constantly* am referred to as "sir" or "gentleman". I recently was in
Cambridge, MA at a conference, and am sitting at a table in the hotel
lounge with my husband. I'm definitely not "dressed to the nine's", but
wearing a silk pantsuit, with associated ecoutrements, and the waiter
"whisks" by our table stating, "I'll be with you gentlemen in a minute."
One grrr from me...
Well, the waiter heads back to our table about 10 minutes later, and my
husband places the order: "The lady will have a Tanqueray and tonic with
lime, and I will have a Jamison's on the rocks." The waiter replies:
"I'll get them for you gentlemen in a flash."
Second grrr from me...and the last drinks we had at the hotel bar for the
evening.
--Karen
--
=======================================================================
Karen A. Metivier Carreiro The George Washington University
email: meti...@gwis2.circ.gwu.edu Public Policy Ph.D. student
URL: http://gwis2.circ.gwu.edu/~metivier Science & technology field
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Research Associate
Institute for Computer and Telecommunications Systems Policy
2020 K Street, N.W. Suite 324, Washington, D.C. 20052
URL: http://www.seas.gwu.edu/seas/ictsp/
voice: 202-994-5515 fax: 202-994-5296
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rosalind Hengeveld
Sheryl Coppenger wrote:
> My look runs to jeans and T-shirts, no makeup. Currently I live near a
> largely-gay part of town and occasionally will run into a group of drag
> queens that not only tower over me but make me feel incredibly dowdy. :-)
> I think they're very cool, but it's a very strange feeling. And sometimes
> in that neighborhood if I get addressed by the wrong word or if I get
> a lot of scrutiny I wonder if someone thinks I'm a guy in drag because of
> my height.
I am a regular poster at soc.support.transgendered, a newsgroup for
transsexuals - not to be confused with drag queens - and other transgendered.
One of our other regulars posted a message about this thread going on here.
She suggested this thread may teach us that if a male-to-female transsexual
thinks she "gets read" (transgender lingo for being mistaken for a man), it may
be nothing else than her height that does it.
On the other hand, my own impression in the transgender community is that sheer
height (up to, say, 6'3" or 1.90m) is not the worst thing to make one being
taken for a man, but that things like a deep voice, a heavy neck, a square
lower jaw are worse.
With 5'11" or 1.81m, I do not feel too tall at all.
> Sometimes I have the urge to say, "Look, if I were a guy I
> would be much better turned out." :-)
I'll double that smiley. Nice how people in two support newsgroups can learn
from each other.
--
Rosalind Hengeveld
tere
On 24 Apr 1996 13:10:19 GMT at sherri kangas <gta...@xnet.com> wrote:
>~..................... the guy behind the counter called
>~me sir. Like most people who call me sir, he was embarassed when he
>~realized his mistake. When it happens to me I ignore it and continue on
>~with my business. I figure it's not worth getting upset about and is no
>~reflection on me.
good for you. they are only human too. if i feel fiesty, i say
something like "having a bad day?" and they look up and realize their
mistake. sometimes i wonder if they say "could i help you , little
girl" if i were less than normal height.
tigger the tall texan
Terry McT.
jaasper wrote:
>
> I've had that scenario happen before, and I did not make the purchase
> at that store. I simply left it at the counter and headed for customer
> service and filled out a complaint. After working for many years in
> retail I find that behavior completely unacceptable! I did the same
> at a department store when I overheard a shoe department clerk making
> fun of my shoe size.
It's an important step when you finally realize that the stupid
clerk's opinions and comments aren't something you should feel hurt
over. The clerk is there to *serve* you. If he or she treats you
badly, management must hear about it. I've had idiots tell me that I
had duck feet (what the heck are duck feet?) and that I settle for
whatever orthopedic looking shoes they could scratch up. Another
favorite of mine is when a clerk in a clothes store makes a big deal
about telling me that nothing they have will fit someone as *big* as
me. Early on (teenage years), these sorts of events would crush me.
I'm not certain when the change occurred, but now I immediately go and
raise serious cain in the customer service department when the staff
treats me in a rude manner. They are getting paid to be polite to me.
In my crochety old age (33), I've decided not to accept anything less.
>
> Correcting people politely is all one can do. I refuse to change the
> way I dress and wear my hair, but I also try not to let it bother me
> too much. It happened much more when I was a kid and in High School so
> I guess I got used to it!
>
I get called "sir" by accident with a fair regularity, even though I
have a particularly feminine haircut and a generally feminine manner
of dressing. People just halfway glance, see a tall person and assume
it's a man. I smile and politely correct them. Usually, the person
is really embarrassed. It doesn't bother me (it did in my teens, of
course), but as you said it's important to correct the person.
Perhaps when a tall, still-sensitive, teen comes along, the person
won't make a quick assumption and hurt the kid's feelings.
Terry
Terry McT.
Sheryl Coppenger wrote:
>
> My look runs to jeans and T-shirts, no makeup. Currently I live near a
> largely-gay part of town and occasionally will run into a group of drag
> queens that not only tower over me but make me feel incredibly dowdy. :-)
> I think they're very cool, but it's a very strange feeling. And sometimes
> in that neighborhood if I get addressed by the wrong word or if I get
> a lot of scrutiny I wonder if someone thinks I'm a guy in drag because of
> would be much better turned out." :-)
>
This is hilarious and *so* true. On Sundays in the French Quarter
(New Orleans), you'll see quite a few drag queens out and about,
dressed to the nines. Most of these men look incredibly good (a few
appear to be beginners). They also spend much, much, much more time
on their appearance than does the average woman out walking at the
same time. On a hot New Orleans Sunday afternoon, there is no way on
Earth I'm wearing stockings, heels, and full makeup. :)
Terry
Dan Terp
>Sheryl Coppenger wrote:
>> My look runs to jeans and T-shirts, no makeup. Currently I live near a
>> largely-gay part of town and occasionally will run into a group of drag
>> queens that not only tower over me but make me feel incredibly dowdy. :-)
>> I think they're very cool, but it's a very strange feeling. And sometimes
>> in that neighborhood if I get addressed by the wrong word or if I get
>> a lot of scrutiny I wonder if someone thinks I'm a guy in drag because of
>> my height.
I remember once shopping in Victoria's secret for a gift for my then
girlfriend (6') and found a lacy chamise I thought she would like.
When I asked if the item came in tall, the woman looked at me,
6'-3" , beard and hiking boots, and said " we have nothing in YOUR size, sir"
I guess I never pictured a guy my size in drag, but I guess the saleslady did!
Dan
Michelle Steiner
In article <Dan.109....@blue.planet.net>, D...@blue.planet.net (Dan
Terp) wrote:
>I guess I never pictured a guy my size in drag, but I guess the saleslady did!
At the 1994 Castro Street Halloween party in San Francisco, there was a
6'8" (plus heels) drag queen dressed as a bride. She was beautiful.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Michelle Steiner | ...and then the day came when the risk |
| ste...@best.com | to remain tight in a bud was more |
| http://www.best.com/~steiner |painful than the risk it took to blossom.|
| | --Anais Nin |
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Susan Mudgett aka little gator
Terry McT. (tam...@usl.edu) wrote:
: badly, management must hear about it. I've had idiots tell me that I
: had duck feet (what the heck are duck feet?) and that I settle for
: whatever orthopedic looking shoes they could scratch up. Another
"Duck feet" is not always intended as an insult. My husband, who is
tall, and I who am short both have them so it isn't height related.
Duck feet are wide at the forefoot(the part in front of the arch) and
narrow at the heel, a shape which makes it hard to fit shoes to. My
husband has EEEE width forefeet and D width heels. He has trouble
finding shoes to fit him because in additon to the unusual shape he
needs size 14. Since my feet take a women's 7 or a boy's 5, I have
more options but it still takes some searching to find shoes I can
wear.