Smoker's Geek Code: A proposal
dan...@cableinet.co.uk
This is a proposal for a new smoker's geek code. The proposal is a
semi-serious one for a code which will provide a lot of information about a
smoker, to be added to the signature file for posts, or maybe incorporated
into a meter reading. This is only a first draft, it would be nice if other
people contributed their ideas and suggestions, and turn this into a
humourous, witty, incisive, informative and useful code. All contributions
gratefully appreciated and credited to the contributor.
Besides, it's something to do, isn't it?
A typical code might look like this:
Danny, Y+ S- Q+ NT- C+,15 sm2
explanations of the codes are as follows:
How long smoked for:
Y---- I smoked one once
Y--- I smoked for under a week
Y-- I smoked for under a month
Y- I smoked for under a year
Y I smoked for over a year
Y+ I smoked for over a decade
Y++ I smoked for over 2 decades
Y+++ I smoked all my life
Y++++ My first words were "Got a match?"
How serious a smoker were you?
S+++ Spare a cigarette, mate?
S++ I once spent 100 dollars on a cigarette lighter
S+ I panic if I can't feel the pack in my pocket
S I never leave the room without my cigarettes
S- I could eat a meal in the no-smoking section of the restaurant
S-- I could wait until I got home
S--- Cigarettes, shmigarettes
When I quit
Q+++ I'm an OF
Q++ Less than a year ago
Q+ Less than a month ago
Q Less than a week ago
Q- After the next one
Q-- Just thinking about quitting
Q--- All this talk of cigarettes makes me want to take it up
Ho the quit is going (NT = Nervous Tension)
NT+++ AAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!
NT++ I quit within the last 24 hours
NT+ Within the last week
NT I'm starting to get used to the lack of nicotine
NT- Hey, this is easy!
NT-- Why did I ever start?
NT--- I'm an OF
(Alternative:
NT+++ I am cj
NT++ I am cJ
NT+ I am CJ
NT I am ceejay
NT- I am CeeJay
NT-- I am CEEJAY)
How many did I smoke?
C++++ I sleep-smoked; cigarette companies would go bust if I quit
C+++ I smoked in the shower
C++ I miss the middle 10 minutes of a film; I'd miss a bus in order to
have a smoke at the bus stop
C+ I smoked when I felt like it
optionally followed by the number smoked per day e.g.
C+,15
C I smoked socially
C- I only smoked other people's cigarettes
C-- I only breathed in other people's second hand smoke
C--- I live in an oxygen tent
What did I smoke?
sm0 a pipe
sm1 I rolled my own
sm2 cigarettes
sm3 cigars
sm4 industrial waste
Any other ideas, anyone?
Danny
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Dana S.
Danny;
Have a bit of time on our hands, do we?
Best to you;
Dana S.
1 month, 4 days, 4 hours. 1406 cigarettes not smoked, saving $143.27. Life
saved: 4 days, 21 hours.
dan...@cableinet.co.uk
In article <6gvlid$s...@examiner.concentric.net>,
I'm reminded of the Monty Python 'nudge, nudge, wink, wink' sketch for some
reason.
No, no, no, no, no. Of course not. No, no, no. Nothing could be further from
my truth. Time on my hands? Me? No, no, absolutely not.........Yes.
Stewart Hymans
YES, yes, yes!
You forgot to ask Codem*n!!
How about these?
T*om: 12/60 %+ PBS tootle OAC ^=^
HUH!!
(I don't know what any of em mean yet (except one), but I' workin on it)
Here's another:
*nne: 61/2 **&* 38DD pdq 3X+ i8elvis
2@1
(I don't understand ANY of these.)
Stewart (HUH?)
Anne
Stewart Hymans wrote: Huh (Stewart was speachless)
Yeah well how about this:
++++++ hung like a horse
+++++ hung like Bill Clinton
+++ hung like a goat
++ hung like T*om
+ hung like an old Glen Fiddich
0 hung like....(fill in the blanks)
Best regards, Anne ( not hung at all)
PBirger
>This is a proposal for a new smoker's geek code. The proposal is a
>semi-serious one for a code which will provide a lot of information about a
>smoker, to be added to the signature file for posts, or maybe incorporated
>into a meter reading.
Danny, I have been thinking for some time now that it would be very very
helpful to be able to discern by reading a posters signature line WHEN he/she
began his/her quit and what method of quitting is being used. Patches? Zyban?
CT? SJW? These facts would be a lot of help in terms of how to reply to a
poster.
So now, how about getting serious about this geek code? It's a good idea!
Regards,
Penny
(1 day, 50 minutes short of 3 months as a non smoker)
dan...@cableinet.co.uk
In article <3533EBB6...@worldonline.nl>,
Nah, that should be:
8====== hung like a horse
8===== hung like Bill Clinton
8=== hung like a goat
8== hung like T*om
8= hung like an old Glen Fiddich
> hung like....(fill in the blanks)
(the last one is supposed to be the greater than sign; some newsreaders may
interpret it as coming from a previous post - it's not)
8=m= hung like George Michael
Paul Henry
In article <6gvfcf$jgh$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>, dan...@cableinet.co.uk
says...
> This is a proposal for a new smoker's geek code. The proposal is a
Brilliant !! I laughed lots and lots. My brain would hurt a bit having
to keep track of all those codes though. I see you have been in touch
with Michael (mike...@marshallnet.com) regarding his new meter...perhaps
he could arrange things so you could set your codes up automatically,keep
off the weeds,
regards
--
Paul
Bangor NI
remove _gotcha_ to reply
---
1m 4d 08:02 of fresh air, 884 not smoked ( Gasp !!! ) , £114.48 closer
to being rich, 3d 01:40 healthier
Mel
Wait Wait!
This is all getting WAY to complicated for my semi-foggy brain to
deal with!.................. and That is all I'm saying zipped my mouth to
prevent more
Mel
Attitude is gone think I'm becoming myself
FWD/ AFQ
Two weeks, 11 hours, 43 minutes. 217 cigarettes not smoked, saving $27.17.
Life saved: 18 hours, 5 minutes.
Steven 'GoofY' de Brouwer wrote in message
<892660216.27798.0...@news.demon.co.uk>...
>In alt.support.stop-smoking, pbi...@aol.com (PBirger) wrote:
>
snip
>Ex-Smoker for 10M 2W 5D, 19:11:59h (since 05/26/97, 15:00:00)
>Saved f 728.33 by not smoking 6474 cigs... Smooky!
>Life Saved: 22D, 11:30h CT AC+++ ++++++
>
>(ColdTurkey, read AllenCarr as preparation, hung like .... :)
>
>Kind regards cq. De groeten,
>
>GoofY
>-- SpamInfo at http://www.stack.nl/~goofy/Spam
>A world that's far away,
>where life is not unkind,
>the movie in my mind...
>
Steven 'GoofY' de Brouwer
In alt.support.stop-smoking, pbi...@aol.com (PBirger) wrote:
>helpful to be able to discern by reading a posters signature line WHEN he/she
>began his/her quit and what method of quitting is being used. Patches? Zyban?
>CT? SJW? These facts would be a lot of help in terms of how to reply to a
>poster.
Hey, that's why they invented meters :D