OT: Housekeeping tips
Kathleen
1: It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the
door from the inside.
2: If it walks out of your refrigerator, let it go!
3: The best mini-vac for an after meal clean up is the dog.
4: Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.
5: Never make fried chicken in the nude.
6: Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to
choke the vacuum cleaner.
7: You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have
to start all over again.
8: If guys were suppose to hang clothes up, door knobs would be
bigger.
9: My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
10: Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
11: Simplify . . . hire a maid.
12: My second favourite household chore is ironing. My first being
Hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
13: I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
14: I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his
house.
15: Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the
bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points
out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and
exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"
16: When writing your name in the dust on the table, omit the date.
17: If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on
the coffee table and insist that "THIS is where Grandma wanted us to
scatter her ashes..."
18: Instead of repainting, simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall
with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as
you say, "Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident...
I haven't had the heart to clean it... "
19: Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups
of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags
in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself
onto the couch, and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't get
anywhere . . . I think I'll take a break and check my E-mail!"
susan joyce wood
Sue
Lemming
>Perfect reminders for this time of year:
>
>1: It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the
>door from the inside.
That's probably just Igor having a nap.
>2: If it walks out of your refrigerator, let it go!
I normally catch them and give them to Clambo.
>5: Never make fried chicken in the nude.
300wpm, I hope you are reading this.
--
Lemming
Curiosity *may* have killed Schrödinger's cat.