Social anxiety, how can I take control of my life back?
BardCat
I've had social anxiety and depression for a long time, and only
recently have I truly realised it and its effects, and since then have
made many efforts, and succeeded in some parts.
But the real problem now is how to get away from the isolation which I
live in, that is to always be on my computer, because I don't know
what else there is.
Going for a walk is bs, that's not the kind of answer I'd expect.
I want to do things which involves people, and not my PC.
I'd like to go to school, finish high school (I had to leave because
of my "condition", the anxiety was unbearable and I couldn't succeed),
even though I've tried in the past, now I think I could be able to
succeed.
Basically, I've forgotten how to live. After maybe 5 years of having
close to no social contacts, only playing games and internet stuff,
and developped an expensivedrug habit, I don't know what else to do.
I've moved out of my mother's house a year ago, and it helped, but I
still do the same thing here, take drugs and play games. The
difference is that my mom isn't here, and I have some room mates...
Help! How can I stop this computer crap and do something
constructive?!
ps.: drugs = marijuana
Mickey Maschke
stuff. As to playing games. I might suggest that you take up chatting online
in various programs and make some friends there. I use a program called
Virtual Places chat where the user has avatars that represent them, and they
have gestures that they can use when they send a message in the chat room.
The user can share files avatars and gestures. It's really a great service
for people to meet new people and make friends. It's a subscription service
of just $10 per month to keep out the spammers. It really is a nice place to
chat. I'm usually there when I'm done with my journal updates in the
morning. I suggest that you try some of these chat programs, and Virtual
Places is an excellent place to start, easy to use and it's a stand alone
program. You can get the program and investigate the service at
http://www.vpchat.com/ .Best of luck. If you have any questions or want to
contact me, my web site below has all the information. I wish you the best.
--
Take care,
Mickey Maschke
The Moon List: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/themoonlist/
My Personal Web Site: http://windgate.info/
"BardCat" <sp...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:8b443b6c.04052...@posting.google.com...
Katz Heitmann
> Well, ganga is nothing serious these days. So try not to sweat the small
> stuff. As to playing games. I might suggest that you take up chatting online
> in various programs and make some friends there. I use a program called
> Virtual Places chat where the user has avatars that represent them, and they
> have gestures that they can use when they send a message in the chat room.
> The user can share files avatars and gestures. It's really a great service
> for people to meet new people and make friends. It's a subscription service
> of just $10 per month to keep out the spammers. It really is a nice place to
> chat. I'm usually there when I'm done with my journal updates in the
> morning. I suggest that you try some of these chat programs, and Virtual
> Places is an excellent place to start, easy to use and it's a stand alone
> program. You can get the program and investigate the service at
> http://www.vpchat.com/ .Best of luck. If you have any questions or want to
> contact me, my web site below has all the information. I wish you the best.
>
Good advice.
Help! How can I stop this computer crap and do something
> constructive?!
Drugs are a problem if it is expensive for you it's also dangerous. It
can get you into situations you don't like with people you don't want
anything to do with. The computer may be a way to get out of your
isolation and get to know people. Be careful there are some wackos out
there on line. They usually pretend to like you and come after you.
If you are underage tell everyone you're 18 or above to avoid any
troubles with people who want to boff children and don't give any more
details than the city or region you live in to anyone they may be a
pred. bookmark this page www.cyberangels.org they're great if you get
into a bind with a pred or you can always post if you having problems or
go to links on Phazenet I usually hang out there it's kind of the ghetto
of the irc be careful if you are from an affluent area it's a little
weird but it grows on you if you survive. I'll eventually get around to
taking care of it or refer you to someone else.
I got a few friends on DALnet too they're pricks some of them but #AA is
alright. Tell Cara Orien2 sent you and about your little problem and
they'll offer you help. You need a client either pirch or mirc if you
don't already have one. You'll get used to the irc and wonder why you
were ever afraid of it.
You can hide from them once someone teaches you how and pick up on
trouble before it happens.
webgiant
> Hello,
>
> I've had social anxiety and depression for a long time, and
> only recently have I truly realised it and its effects, and
> since then have made many efforts, and succeeded in some
> parts. But the real problem now is how to get away from the
> isolation which I live in, that is to always be on my computer,
> because I don't know what else there is.
>
> Going for a walk is bs, that's not the kind of answer I'd
> expect. I want to do things which involves people, and not
> my PC. I'd like to go to school, finish high school (I had
> to leave because of my "condition", the anxiety was unbearable
> and I couldn't succeed), even though I've tried in the past,
> now I think I could be able to succeed.
I don't want to sound like I'm encouraging your condition, but
have you thought of trying one of the many online high school
diploma programs? If you could get your high school diploma,
you might have one less hurdle to getting into the outside
world. Lack of education can really depress a person and make
them less likely to want to be around other people.
> Basically, I've forgotten how to live. After maybe 5 years
> of having close to no social contacts, only playing games
> and internet stuff, and developped an expensivedrug habit,
> I don't know what else to do. I've moved out of my mother's
> house a year ago, and it helped, but I still do the same
> thing here, take drugs and play games. The difference is
> that my mom isn't here, and I have some room mates...
>
> Help! How can I stop this computer crap and do something
> constructive?!
Back in the early 1990s I decided to do something about
social phobia. This was not something which just came out
of the blue, it was in response to something a computer
friend was doing.
Back in the early 1990s, not many people had Internet access,
and the usual thing you did with a modem was call local
Computer Bulletin Board Systems. One person on at a time,
but you were only on for maybe an hour tops, and you left
public messages and private E-mail. There was a real sense
of community to the CBBSes (usually called just BBSes),
because everyone was local, with one or two exceptions (and
usually those were just a town or two away).
Anyway, there was one BBS, called the "Electric Bear BBS",
run by a guy who had a handle of "Electric Bear." His real
name was Ray, and one day he posted on the Electrc Bear BBS
that he would be having a regular Electric Bear Iced Tea
Social, every Wednesday evening, from 6pm until he felt
like going to bed. Every week he'd make a couple pitchers
of Iced Tea and serve it out all evening; occasionally he'd
make a big casserole and make it into a dinner party.
It still took a lot of effort just to walk through the door
of Ray's apartment, but I managed to go largely because
everyone at one of the Electric Bear Iced Tea Socials was
someone I already knew, at least from an intellectual
perspective. People who showed up were already on his BBS,
so we had "spoken together" frequently for months prior to
meeting in person. We talked, watched TV shows like
"Babylon 5" and "Red Dwarf", brought tasty desserts, and
generally socialized in the regular way.
This was a very important event in my life. I got my first
computer-related job through these contacts. I met my
future wife online and then through the Electric Bear Iced
Tea Socials (we were married in 1999). I started going to
movies with other people.
Eventually other BBS operators did their own BBS parties,
not as regular as the Electric Bear Iced Tea Socials, but
it made meeting these formerly "disembodied spirits" a
lot easier.
By 1996 the BBSes were dying off because of the Internet,
and also in 1996 all of my friends from the Electric Bear
Iced Tea Socials (and from the BBS parties) moved to
California or New York (most went to California). While
I was managing to get to Ray's apartment every week, the
thought of moving into a big city full of complete
strangers was too terrifying for words, so I stayed where
I was (in the MidWest).
Now I know only one friend other than my wife, dating back
to the BBSes, and I know very few other people. I have no
social clubs or groups which I frequent, and I don't have
any ties to any other organizations. Most online social
phobia organizations are national or international (like
this one), so there's no sense of local community.
So I got to thinking the other day, why not attempt to
re-create the BBS days? My wife works from home so our
second telephone line is tied up with her job, but I
could create an Internet BBS and then advertise it all
over town, to encourage the BBS to become a local
community rather than a national or international
community. Over time, I might be able to develop
contacts with other local people with social phobia,
perhaps developing into a social club once again.
If you have or can get a second phone line, consider
developing your own locally-dialled Computer Bulletin
Board System. A spare computer (even a 486 is adequate
for a Computer BBS based mostly on text-only messaging),
a modem (56k would be nice, but a cheap 28.8k modem
would work nicely), and one of the free BBS software
packages (check on the newsgroup alt.bbs for more
information), and you could create your own online
social club, with the intention of converting the
online social club into an in-person social club for
other people with social phobia.
Even if all you can do is some form of Internet BBS,
reserve your advertising to local-only, and you can
create your own local community to try to get contacts
with real people. With a local community of people you
already know in spirit, scheduling a group movie night,
or a day picnic, might be a lot easier and develop into
some real in-person friendships.
It worked once before for me, it might work again for
you and me.