what's the meaning of life?
Titanium
What's the meaning of life, especially when you live like a robot and
find no reason to do anything except eat, sleep, and work?
Previously, I used to wake up at 6, get to work by 8, and then head for
home by 6 at night. Nobody ever talked to me except for supervisors. I
never ate at my company. At work, it was just me, my computer, and my
lab space. Nobody would have known if I died one day and never showed
up for work, despite perfect attendance. At home, it was again just me
and my computer, except I also ate, did home maintainence, and paid off
bills. In my social/personal life, I get my annual physical checkup and
go shopping for necessities. I hated my job and the company and life
was so boring. Life felt like a task but I didn't realize how everyone
else were always together, having fun, getting married, getting a
raise, and were so happy. I ditched my job.
I now went back to live with my parents and entered dental school.
Clinical procedures and lab work are difficult but I'm getting the hang
of them and I'm slowly improving with time. Somewhat like in the past,
I get up at 6, get to school by 8, and then head for home at 8 in the
evening. I sit all by myself in lecture, work alone in lab, never eat
in the school cafeteria, and bring my own instruments to the clinic and
never ask anyone for favors. And then when I get back home, my parents
ask "so how was school? Learn anything new today?" And I'm like "yeah,
it was alright" and head straight to my room, close the door, and mind
my own business. It's the same old everyday.
Again, like in the past, I don't why I'm so boring and mundane while
everyone else at school are always having fun and so much to talk about
with each other. And, no, they don't usually talk about exams,
patients, or graduation requirements; they talk about parties,
engagements, tango, vacations, etc., all of which I have no relevance
to. I'm the only one in school without a friend. My classmates don't
talk to me or look at me ( except for this one girl. I don't know why
she stares at me but it's either because I'm a freak or so that she can
somehow 'hurt' my self-esteem for her emotional benefit. I know she has
a boyfriend or is married,and thus can't be doing this out of
relationship interest. So sometimes I feel like telling her to "take a
hike and beat it." )
My classmates talk to me only when I have instruments that they either
lost or were too lazy to bring. They end up getting some from me and I
later have to go searching for them to get them back. No one usually
talks to me but they occasionally do talk about me and I recently
realized that they think I'm "quiet, boring, strange, psycho, neurotic,
selfish, obnoxious, unapproachable, and have no feelings."
As for my clinical experience, pediatric patients are terrified of me.
Adolescent patients don't like me and adults generally don't see with
the enthusiasm that they have with my classmates. But all isn't lost,
as most geriatric patients tell me that they are comfortable with me,
since I seem like a "nice, honest, thorough, and hard-working" future
dentist. One grandmother even got me a present for Christmas. ( this is
all nice but I don't know why I feel like a loser ) But, one week ago,
the little self-esteem I had was crushed when I had a 35 yr old male
patient who preferred a female dental student treating him instead of
me. Even during an operative procedure, he kept turning his head
whenever a female dental student was in vicinity. I know that this
might not have been personal but my ego was so sensitive at that time
that I felt depressed for the whole weekend.
Why is it that everyone else are naturally finding it easy and fun? My
life is so boring, depressing, and is so bland. What was the whole
purpose of my life to begin with? Is it so that I can live to work or
study? One thing for sure is that we live to eventually die. So if
there's no meaning to life, why did God have to make us go through this
anyway?
Pervus
"Titanium" <seaga...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1135283460.0...@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
What a well-written post. My heart goes out to you. You're a natural
loner. So am I. The difference between us is that I now really _don't care_
what all those extrovert so-called 'normal' people out there are thinking
about me! As a result I'm relaxed around them and consequently they feel
relaxed around me. So on the whole they won't judge me or gossip behind my
back.
Or sometimes, if I'm in a slightly weird withdrawn or eccentric mode maybe
they feel a little afraid of me! But I don't care. It's they who are now
doing the caring and feeling insecure, since they can tell I'm totally
secure and at ease with who I am, however unusual.
It's simple really. Simply be totally secure in who you really are and
relax. Try smiling in a friendly fashion back at that girl too, then you'll
have the upper hand with her. She'll see that, and react either by stopping
her staring in embarrassment or making friends out of respect.
The situation you are describing is very common, particularly in training
situations where social cliques tend to form. I've had my fair share of it,
but it's all in the past now. The key is to _believe in yourself_ and be
interested in others.
Once it's "to hell with what others think" combined with a new friendly and
outgoing demeanour, people will queue up to get to know you and will make
your life much more interesting.
Pervus
William P
@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
> Why is it that everyone else are naturally finding it easy and fun? My
> life is so boring, depressing, and is so bland. What was the whole
> purpose of my life to begin with? Is it so that I can live to work or
> study? One thing for sure is that we live to eventually die. So if
> there's no meaning to life, why did God have to make us go through this
> anyway?
You keep doing the same things, you keep getting the same results. If you
don't like the results, you need to try radically different things,
especially those that are painful and uncomfortable. If you expect God to
sort it out, good luck with that.
In your case, you'd do well to completely change and rethink the way you
deal with people, and it's going to hurt like hell. Or you can do nothing.
Unknown
wrote:
>What's the meaning of life, especially when you live like a robot and
>find no reason to do anything except eat, sleep, and work?
I don't believe there is a meaning to life. One day you exist, then
you die; what happens in between is filler. What you or "fate" fills
it with depends upon many circumstances.
>
>Previously, I used to wake up at 6, get to work by 8, and then head for
>home by 6 at night. Nobody ever talked to me except for supervisors. I
>never ate at my company. At work, it was just me, my computer, and my
>lab space. Nobody would have known if I died one day and never showed
>up for work, despite perfect attendance.
Welcome to the world of work. Regardless of what Hollywood says, the
average workplace is not full of good looking single people, who are
brilliant at their jobs, and where everyday is a new fun-filled
adventure.
>At home, it was again just me
>and my computer, except I also ate, did home maintainence, and paid off
>bills. In my social/personal life, I get my annual physical checkup and
>go shopping for necessities. I hated my job and the company and life
>was so boring. Life felt like a task but I didn't realize how everyone
>else were always together, having fun, getting married, getting a
>raise, and were so happy. I ditched my job.
What I have heard, and have been told, is that in order to have a
somewhat normal life (ie: having fun, getting married, getting a
raise) it helps to not think too deeply about anything. Especially, do
not think about the "meaning of life." Life just is.
Of course, I understand where you are coming from as I have been
searching for the meaning of life for decades now, and I am not any
closer to the answer than I was when I was a hopeful, less jaded
teenager.
>I now went back to live with my parents and entered dental school.
>Clinical procedures and lab work are difficult but I'm getting the hang
>of them and I'm slowly improving with time. Somewhat like in the past,
>I get up at 6, get to school by 8, and then head for home at 8 in the
>evening. I sit all by myself in lecture, work alone in lab, never eat
>in the school cafeteria, and bring my own instruments to the clinic and
>never ask anyone for favors.
School is like work, except you don't get paid. If you never
socialized with people at work, I highly doubt you will socialize with
people at school. You are who you are, as the crappy old saying goes
"wherever you go, there you are."
>And then when I get back home, my parents
>ask "so how was school? Learn anything new today?" And I'm like "yeah,
>it was alright" and head straight to my room, close the door, and mind
>my own business. It's the same old everyday.
There has to be more to life than this, eh?
Perhaps that is why most people try so hard to fill their lives with
things and relationships, to fill that void where you start thinking
about the reason behind living. Unfortunately, for shy people (I
include myself in that group, however, I admit I lean closer to the
hermit side of shyness), it is not that easy to fill your life with
things and relationships.
>Again, like in the past, I don't why I'm so boring and mundane while
>everyone else at school are always having fun and so much to talk about
>with each other. And, no, they don't usually talk about exams,
>patients, or graduation requirements; they talk about parties,
>engagements, tango, vacations, etc., all of which I have no relevance
>to.
Some people are extroverts, and others are not. You are not an
extrovert, and more than likely will never be one. It seems to me that
once a group of people peg you as "shy" or "quiet" you never seem to
be able to overcome that label. I suppose that most normal people
would tell you to just go up and talk to your fellow students,
unfortunately, those fellow students more than likely do not want to
talk to you, and why subject yourself to trying to make conversation
with people who prefer to not converse with you?
>I'm the only one in school without a friend. My classmates don't
>talk to me or look at me ( except for this one girl. I don't know why
>she stares at me but it's either because I'm a freak or so that she can
>somehow 'hurt' my self-esteem for her emotional benefit. I know she has
>a boyfriend or is married,and thus can't be doing this out of
>relationship interest. So sometimes I feel like telling her to "take a
>hike and beat it." )
I have no friends either. The older you get, the less friendships
become important. However, I do have my sister that I hang out with.
Do you have any brothers or sisters? Sometimes family members are more
understanding and in the end make better friends.
As to that girl that stares at you, just give her a wide smirking
smile and see what she does. When I was in high school, many, many,
years ago, this senior boy with an afro (heh, it was the eighties)
used to stare at me and make kissing noises to me, his friends used to
laugh and laugh, as I was the shy girl in school. I eventually, became
immune to his boring form of harrassment, and just stared at him with
a blank look (no emotion). Eventually his friends found my reaction to
be too boring, and he stopped his harrassment.
Like all people, the boy with the afro was just filling his time. I
think he ended up going to jail ten years ago. Who says the best ones
are taken?
>
>My classmates talk to me only when I have instruments that they either
>lost or were too lazy to bring. They end up getting some from me and I
>later have to go searching for them to get them back. No one usually
>talks to me but they occasionally do talk about me and I recently
>realized that they think I'm "quiet, boring, strange, psycho, neurotic,
>selfish, obnoxious, unapproachable, and have no feelings."
Oh well, they have the right to their own opinions. Isn't it strange
that everyone is so for diversity of physical characteristics,
ethnicity, race, religion, but when it comes to diversity of
personality, that is not allowed. Everyone must be an extrovert, loud,
and sociable.
I was voted the "quietest" in my high school senior year.
I always wondered why they didn't have a title for the "loudest." I
suppose there would be too many people to pick from.
>As for my clinical experience, pediatric patients are terrified of me.
>Adolescent patients don't like me and adults generally don't see with
>the enthusiasm that they have with my classmates. But all isn't lost,
>as most geriatric patients tell me that they are comfortable with me,
>since I seem like a "nice, honest, thorough, and hard-working" future
>dentist. One grandmother even got me a present for Christmas. ( this is
>all nice but I don't know why I feel like a loser ) But, one week ago,
>the little self-esteem I had was crushed when I had a 35 yr old male
>patient who preferred a female dental student treating him instead of
>me. Even during an operative procedure, he kept turning his head
>whenever a female dental student was in vicinity. I know that this
>might not have been personal but my ego was so sensitive at that time
>that I felt depressed for the whole weekend.
You can always get a job working as a dentist in a nursing home. My
sister once worked as a dental hygientist in a nursing home, she said
the job wasn't too bad.
As to the 35 yr old male who preferred a female dental student, well
that is a no brainer. It had nothing to do with you (as you stated).
Again, people are people, and unfortunately, you have to live amongst
them to earn a living (ugh).
>Why is it that everyone else are naturally finding it easy and fun?
I have no answer there, except some people are not as prone to
depression as others. I find drinking helps me, a glass of sherry
everynight before I go to bed helps to drown my sorrows.
>My
>life is so boring, depressing, and is so bland. What was the whole
>purpose of my life to begin with? Is it so that I can live to work or
>study?
I don't believe life is solely to work or study. Ted Kaczynski, the
unabomber had his theory about modern man and his quest for meaning in
life. Many other people and philosophers have their own theories.
>One thing for sure is that we live to eventually die. So if
>there's no meaning to life, why did God have to make us go through this
>anyway?
Well, if you believe in God, than perhaps it is to go to a greater
place after you die (such as heaven). Myself, life seems to be random,
with no big purpose. As you said, all humans eventually die, and most
are forgotten as soon as the last shovel of dirt is dropped into the
grave.
I am just passing the time until it is my time (whether that be sooner
or later).
pug
If you can't say anything nice...
http://home.earthlink.net/~crpbx66/
crfan
"Titanium" <seaga...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1135283460.0...@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>
life is to glorify God or in other words to live as good a life as you can.
It doesn't seem as though you like people very much. How are you going to
deal with all the different personalities that are going to come through
your office in the form of patients? Are you going to be able to show
empathy for their conditions? How are you going to deal with people in pain
that are very grouchy? Are you going to be able to be happy putting
yourself in that position every day?
Titanium
crfan wrote:
> >
> Hi, You brought up God so i'll tell you that the Bible says the meaning of
> life is to glorify God or in other words to live as good a life as you can.
> It doesn't seem as though you like people very much. How are you going to
> deal with all the different personalities that are going to come through
> your office in the form of patients? Are you going to be able to show
> empathy for their conditions? How are you going to deal with people in pain
> that are very grouchy? Are you going to be able to be happy putting
> yourself in that position every day?
When I was mentioning 'God', I wasn't necessarily referring to
Christianity. ( although I am somewhat of a believer and do go to
church occasionally. ) I just wanted to know
As you might have inferred, I don't like mankind and I don't have any
sympathy for society.
But I don't always feel the same for an individual. In heart, I'm not a
shallow, narrow-minded person that likes to hide in a dark corner. I
earnestly enjoy helping others. I am capable of loving and I have lots
to give to a person. I am straightforward and would always hear both
sides of a story before making any judgements. I'm very receptive to
the feelings of others and I sometimes try to accommodate their
feelings more than mine.
Then again, I can't help the fact that I don' t share the interests
that many people apparently have. People have a tendency to walk all
over me and take advantage of me whenever the opportunity is there. I
can't make long-term friends ( people seem to get annoyed or upset with
me for some reason and my friendships end up being short-term ) and I
can't fit into social groups. And, yes, my personality is introverted
and a quiet one, especially when I don't have anything to talk about. I
realize that there's really something about me that is lacking or
dysfunctional because my problematic patterns were the same in all
walks of life.
phy
>> Once it's "to hell with what others think" combined with a new
>> friendly and outgoing demeanour, people will queue up to get to know
>> you and will make your life much more interesting.
>>
>> Pervus
>
> great post!
But i think the outgoing extroverted part is where most people around her
get lost. people around her wannna think about stuff too much and be
afraaid that they made a bad impression. is it a mental illness? or just a
clucterfuck in their branebox?
-phy
phy
news:Xns9734A1A0EAF8wi...@207.35.177.135:
> In your case, you'd do well to completely change and rethink the way you
> deal with people
You tel him what to do but you don't give advice about how. follow up
please. i am listening.
-phy
phy
> Welcome to the world of work. Regardless of what Hollywood says, the
> average workplace is not full of good looking single people, who are
> brilliant at their jobs, and where everyday is a new fun-filled
> adventure.
most people aare ugly and hard too look at. butt you have to anywaay.
mosstly my job is waay boring so today i spent 10 of my 12 hours cleaning
up after the other thrree people. i shoulda spent those times thinking
bout what way i could sabotage them to make their shift worser but i
dinna had it in me. instead i said to my relief duud. 'this is alla you
gotta do' i got you set up. that is why everone else foxes the next guy
cuss they get tired uv being a doormat. mutthha betta half my place
halfwaay clean at least. if it aint you all peeps gottagonna hear a raant
on giftmas dday.
phy (dammm them kaanuckistanians know how to brew soome sshiit.)
crfan
Normally i know better than to mention God, i apologize for my assumption.
It was narrow minded of me.
i replied because i can see how being in a profession where you are forced
to be in close proximity to so many different people on a daily basis
could/would be taxing for someone that doesn't especially like people.
Titanium
1k2...@invalid.com wrote:
>
> As to that girl that stares at you, just give her a wide smirking
> smile and see what she does.
Yeah, I think I can get what you're trying to say but wouldn't it be
better just to ignore her? I already have a poor public image and I
don't want to make it worse by embarassing her.
Besides, I'd rather be with women older than me. The younger ones
apparently don't like "nice, honest, and quiet" guys and seem too
shallow. If the attraction is there, I don't mind if the older woman
has kids or had 50 boyfriends in the past. My only concern is whether
or not I would be seen as being "good enough" for her.
> Well, if you believe in God, than perhaps it is to go to a greater
> place after you die (such as heaven). Myself, life seems to be random,
> with no big purpose. As you said, all humans eventually die, and most
> are forgotten as soon as the last shovel of dirt is dropped into the
> grave.
>
> I am just passing the time until it is my time (whether that be sooner
> or later).
Wow. Since I brought this up, I'm not worthy of saying it but that is
like one of the most depressing remarks I've heard around here. I know
it's tough when life doesn't seem to going the way you want it and
seems to be a meaningless "phase." But sometimes I can't help but
re-think if my perception of life as a worthless, meaningless journey
is wrong. I personally get second thoughts when I see immigrants
working difficult night shifts in blue-collar jobs, trying to earn that
extra dollar for their families. I get the same thoughts when I see
animals competing for food and going about their natural instincts to
prepare for the following season. Given how all living things struggle
so hard to live, I keep thinking that there must be something precious
and meaningful about life. ( just maybe )
bisho...@yahoo.com
coordination to be a dental student it doesnt make sense that you dont
have friends unless you are unusually ugly. look at keith richards .
there are tons of ugly people do well.
Pervus
"phy" <phy...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:Xns9734EBF938F3...@69.28.186.121...
> But i think the outgoing extroverted part is where most people around her
> get lost. people around her wannna think about stuff too much and be
> afraaid that they made a bad impression. is it a mental illness? or just
a
> clucterfuck in their branebox?
>
_Unless_ one is clinically depressed or unwell, I think anyone can 'take a
holiday' from the way they normally are, for say 10 minutes, by pretending
to be someone more outgoing , smiling, and focussed outward rather than
inward. Then see how they feel at the end. They might just decide to extend
the experiment...
Lordie I'm now beginning to sound like some sort of cooked-up 'life
therapist'.... trying to help though :-/
Pervus
LisatheSequel
>
> Hi, You brought up God so i'll tell you that the Bible says the meaning of
> life is to glorify God or in other words to live as good a life as you can.
> It doesn't seem as though you like people very much. How are you going to
> deal with all the different personalities that are going to come through
> your office in the form of patients? Are you going to be able to show
> empathy for their conditions? How are you going to deal with people in pain
> that are very grouchy? Are you going to be able to be happy putting
> yourself in that position every day?
He'll be doing it as a dentist or doing it at the counter at
McD's. The difference is the $$$.
Pervus
"pug" <1k2...@invalid.com> wrote in message
news:43ab5c09...@207.69.154.205...
> What I have heard, and have been told, is that in order to have a
> somewhat normal life (ie: having fun, getting married, getting a
> raise) it helps to not think too deeply about anything. Especially, do
> not think about the "meaning of life." Life just is.
>
True. Though to some of us, pondering the meaning of life can be quite
fascinating and adds greatly to the quality of our (internal) lives. The
fact we never arrive, there's always a horizon beyond the next horizon,
makes it even better! It's rare though to find someone who can share your
journey.
> unfortunately, those fellow students more than likely do not want to
> talk to you, and why subject yourself to trying to make conversation
> with people who prefer to not converse with you?
Yeah, when there's some negative momentum already going, it'll take
persistence, guts, and a bit of time to work on. People's memories fade
remarkably quickly though.
> Isn't it strange
> that everyone is so for diversity of physical characteristics,
> ethnicity, race, religion, but when it comes to diversity of
> personality, that is not allowed. Everyone must be an extrovert, loud,
> and sociable.
>
Great point !!! This seems to be embedded in the popular culture. Maybe
it makes us better consumers or something.
>
> Well, if you believe in God, than perhaps it is to go to a greater
> place after you die (such as heaven). Myself, life seems to be random,
> with no big purpose. As you said, all humans eventually die, and most
> are forgotten as soon as the last shovel of dirt is dropped into the
> grave.
Sure, the hardware decays, but the software could be run on again any time,
any place...
Pervus
Unknown
wrote:
>> As to that girl that stares at you, just give her a wide smirking
>> smile and see what she does.
>
>Yeah, I think I can get what you're trying to say but wouldn't it be
>better just to ignore her? I already have a poor public image and I
>don't want to make it worse by embarassing her.
Then ignore her, I suppose she will eventually tire of you if you pay
her no mind.
>Besides, I'd rather be with women older than me. The younger ones
>apparently don't like "nice, honest, and quiet" guys and seem too
>shallow. If the attraction is there, I don't mind if the older woman
>has kids or had 50 boyfriends in the past. My only concern is whether
>or not I would be seen as being "good enough" for her.
Ignore younger women and concentrate on finding an older woman.
If your only concern regarding a potential relationship is whether or
not you are seen as "good enough", then it shouldn't be too hard for
you to find the "right" gal. Good enough for most females has a lot to
do with a male's earning potential. After you graduate you should make
lots of money, which is a great starting point when conversing with
the fairer sex.
As to your statement that you don't mind if the older woman has kids,
honestly, I never understand why a single male with no kids would want
to be with a female (old or young) who has children by another man
(especially if that man is still walking on this planet). Too much
baggage to deal with in my humble opinion. I would think you would
deserve more than someone's leftover. But that is just me...
>> Well, if you believe in God, than perhaps it is to go to a greater
>> place after you die (such as heaven). Myself, life seems to be random,
>> with no big purpose. As you said, all humans eventually die, and most
>> are forgotten as soon as the last shovel of dirt is dropped into the
>> grave.
>>
>> I am just passing the time until it is my time (whether that be sooner
>> or later).
>
>Wow. Since I brought this up, I'm not worthy of saying it but that is
>like one of the most depressing remarks I've heard around here.
'tis true...I swear.
I was walking in the cemetery where my father is buried about a month
ago (OK, perhaps that is not the best place to meet people), and as I
was walking reading the various headstones, it dawned on me that of
the hundreds and hundreds of stones, only perhaps 5-10% were kept up
and had fresh flowers placed near them. This is a relatively "new"
cemetery where the oldest stone is from the 1930's; most stones are
from people who died from 1960 and later.
I purposely strolled to the edges of the cemetery where the most
neglected stones were, and surprisingly, many were not as old as I
assumed they would be. One stone was for a man and his wife who had
both died in the 1970's. Their stone was hard to see as it was covered
with moss and the grass had grown up around the edges of the stone
(this type of stone or marker was the type that is placed flat on the
ground, like the military markers).
I thought to myself, "When was the last time someone purposely came to
look at this stone? Are these two people still lingering in a living
person's memory, or have they been forgotten, as have the millions and
millions of people who have died throughout humankind's time on this
earth?" (yes, I really thought that, call me a freak).
I just finished putting together a photo album of my family's history
from 1941 to the present and I realized that I very rarely ever think
of my grandparents (who are all deceased), and I have no idea what
sort of life they lived, or wanted to live. I suppose a person's life
is really only truly interesting to himself. Therefore, once a person
dies, the life that that person so struggled to keep, goes with
himself to the grave.
Of course, one can say that if you have children, a piece of you
continues on through them. I suppose that is true in the genetic
sense. But again, as to a person's specific life and actions during
that life, that person's life as most people's lives, will not be
remembered after death.
If that is depressing, so be it.
> I know
>it's tough when life doesn't seem to going the way you want it and
>seems to be a meaningless "phase." But sometimes I can't help but
>re-think if my perception of life as a worthless, meaningless journey
>is wrong.
Perhaps this is where having "faith" in God comes in.
> I personally get second thoughts when I see immigrants
>working difficult night shifts in blue-collar jobs, trying to earn that
>extra dollar for their families. I get the same thoughts when I see
>animals competing for food and going about their natural instincts to
>prepare for the following season. Given how all living things struggle
>so hard to live, I keep thinking that there must be something precious
>and meaningful about life. ( just maybe )
Perhaps there is, and perhaps there isn't a precious, meaningful
reason to life. Who is to say? No one has truly ever come back from
the dead (unless you believe in Jesus, but that is another story...)
and explained to the world the meaning of life on this Earth.
It is depressing when you want to believe in some meaning to humankind
and animalkind's struggle on this planet, but no real hard evidence
shows that the struggle up to death has any specific purpose. Of
course one can say that the struggle itself is the meaning.
Anyway, I will leave more of my pathetic, nonsensical philosophizing
about life for alt.misanthropy. Good luck in school, I am sure you
will find some sort of meaning to this thing called "life."
void *
> that everyone is so for diversity of physical characteristics,
> ethnicity, race, religion, but when it comes to diversity of
> personality, that is not allowed. Everyone must be an extrovert, loud,
> and sociable.
Damn, I was thinking *exactly* the same thing recently and was waiting for
an opportunity to express it. You beat me to it! Likewise you're always
hearing about being a teamplayer, etc, etc. Seems like the more "valuing
diversity in the workplace" is touted about the more they want you to have
gone through a cookie cutter.
marasu
> What's the meaning of life, especially when you live like a robot and find no reason to do anything except eat, sleep, and work? ...
> What was the whole purpose of my life to begin with? ... if there's no meaning to life, why did [we] go through this anyway?
There isn't really any meaning to life. Life is a gift; do with it what
you will.
void *
>
> What's the meaning of life, especially when you live like a robot and
> find no reason to do anything except eat, sleep, and work?
>
> Previously, I used to wake up at 6, get to work by 8, and then head for
> home by 6 at night.
Sounds like my life, basically. Except for different times of course.
> I never ate at my company.
Did you ever get any mocking from your coworkers about that?
Mad Mambo Master of Macedonia
@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
>
> What's the meaning of life, especially when you live like a robot and
> find no reason to do anything except eat, sleep, and work?
>
>
It wasn't till I was over 35 that I felt like I started to live again, for
the first time since I was a young child. Perhaps in part because I just
gave up on trying to prove that I was worthwhile.
--
As for the pastor, after four days of listening to science experts
dismantling the case for intelligent design, he was unimpressed. "They're
babblers," said the pastor, the Rev. Jim Grove, who leads a 40-member
independent Baptist church outside of Dover. "The more Ph.D.'s you get, it
seems like the further away from God you get." (NY Times, 10-2-05)
Mad Mambo Master of Macedonia
news:1135283460.0...@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
> As for my clinical experience, pediatric patients are terrified of me.
> Adolescent patients don't like me and adults generally don't see with
> the enthusiasm that they have with my classmates. But all isn't lost,
> as most geriatric patients tell me that they are comfortable with me,
> since I seem like a "nice, honest, thorough, and hard-working" future
> dentist. One grandmother even got me a present for Christmas. ( this is
> all nice but I don't know why I feel like a loser ) But, one week ago,
> the little self-esteem I had was crushed when I had a 35 yr old male
> patient who preferred a female dental student treating him instead of
> me. Even during an operative procedure, he kept turning his head
> whenever a female dental student was in vicinity. I know that this
> might not have been personal but my ego was so sensitive at that time
> that I felt depressed for the whole weekend.
Obvious point: Try anti-depressants and find a therapist. They *can*
help. All that guy's behavior meant was that he isn't a homosexual.
Also, if you get on well with elderly folks, that's going to be a good
niche market for you in the future. I may be wrong but I think most
doctors don't really like working with elderly patients very much.
For me, Paxil isn't a miracle cure, but it does stabilize my mood, and I
generally don't sit around and mope over real or imagined slights.
My niche seems to be "special" children & adults; I don't know why
exactly but there's a mutual liking there. Which in a way is good,
because most people either burn out or they don't like it in the first
place so there's a demand for people in that field.
marasu
> > What's the meaning of life, especially when you live like a robot and find no reason to do anything except eat, sleep, and work?
Mad Mambo Master of Macedonia wrote:
> It wasn't till I was over 35 that I felt like I started to live again, for the first time since I was a young child. Perhaps in part because I just gave up on trying to prove that I was worthwhile.
When you e-say 'worthwhile', do you mean 'worthwhile to others', or did
you feel as if you had to prove it to yourself as well?
Mad Mambo Master of Macedonia
>
> It's simple really. Simply be totally secure in who you really are and
> relax. Try smiling in a friendly fashion back at that girl too, then
> you'll have the upper hand with her. She'll see that, and react
> either by stopping her staring in embarrassment or making friends out
> of respect.
>
>
Good advice.
Mad Mambo Master of Macedonia
> You keep doing the same things, you keep getting the same results. If
> you don't like the results, you need to try radically different
> things, especially those that are painful and uncomfortable. If you
> expect God to sort it out, good luck with that.
>
Shoot first and ask questions later!
Mad Mambo Master of Macedonia
news:1135357577.3...@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com:
Is there a difference?
lm
<ne...@newb.com> wrote:
>"Titanium" <seaga...@hotmail.com> wrote in news:1135283460.086476.179660
>@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
>
>>
>> What's the meaning of life, especially when you live like a robot and
>> find no reason to do anything except eat, sleep, and work?
>>
>>
>
>It wasn't till I was over 35 that I felt like I started to live again, for
>the first time since I was a young child. Perhaps in part because I just
>gave up on trying to prove that I was worthwhile.
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is me. And I still have doubts but I do not do things to win
other people over anymore. Mostly.
And it really did take me that long, and finding something that was
more powerful than my fears.
lm
crfan
"Mad Mambo Master of Macedonia" <ne...@newb.com> wrote in message
news:Xns97355C8B7F...@70.169.32.36...
Hi, What level will you be teaching? My experience as a special ed kid was
not a positive one. We were completely segregated from the other students
in elementary school and then thrown into the mix in highschool. Most of us
were woefully unprepared.
Mad Mambo Master of Macedonia
Sounds like you were in a learning-handicapped class. I don't think I
could do that. I've subbed in a few and it's a pure hell from my
perspective. I'd rather be a prison guard.
LisatheSequel
What was that thing? (if you don't mind telling)
crfan
Classes. They taught us the skills needed in the event we went totally
blind. So i learned Braille and typing they provided us with large type
text books. i believe learning disabled is something else.
Richard Veaye
- The Flathers Family.
lm
I needed to be successful at work and socially and emotionally because
I was bringing up my boys on my own.
lm
Mad Mambo Master of Macedonia
Oh, sorry...Learning Handicapped is like being in a prison without bars
(well so is high school, period). And you have to scream you're bloody
head off at the kids every 5 seconds.
So you've always had poor vision?
--
As for the pastor, after four days of listening to science experts
dismantling the case for intelligent design, he was unimpressed.
"They're babblers," said the pastor, the Rev. Jim Grove, who leads a
40-member independent Baptist church outside of Dover. "The more Ph.D.'s
sttp
before I decided to reply, so I apologize if anything I say has ben
said already.
If what you're saying is you WANT to change and be more like those
extroverted people, the first thing to do is to eliminate clinical
depression as a source of your problems. If your seratonin and other
brain chemicals are out of whack (no offense, I've been there!!), and
you try to radically change the way you deal with people or view the
world, you're "pissing into the wind" as they say, the results of your
little experiment for change will not be good, and you may go deeper
in. Not fun.
If you're just shy like a lot of the rest of us on here (I'm a
long-time lurker, and somewhat "reformed" shy-aholic, BTW), and
consider it freakin' annoying but not necessarily pathological, and
have mostly learned to deal and live with the way you are (even though,
yes, it can often be more lonely and depressing than the extrovert
lifestyle), the thing to do, and it IS HARD, is try to relax, not worry
so much about the impression you'll make and what others will think,
and be yourself. Think of these two little nuggets of wisdom I've
heard/read from various sources: 1) people will view you the same way
you view yourself; 2) people will view you the way they believe you
view them. I believe these are both absolutely true. Use these ideas as
a kind of catalyst in your "experiment," but don't be too obsessive
over "what everyone thinks of me." Like anything difficult, it is
easier said than done, of course, but it CAN be done.... You're
obviously smart, you write well, and must be at least somewhat
articulate, and i'm positive there must be MANY more positive traits
too. Focus on these things about yourself, and soon, to the extent your
problems are related to a negative self-image, you may find that they
start to go away. To the extent they are just social skills not yet
learned, my experience as a human being (heheh!) tells me that, as an
adult, you'll need a fundamental change in attitudes and self-concept
to fix those in any meaningful sense, but this is also very doable. See
the meaning of life discussion below. ;-) The third thing is empathy,
or social "common sense," but I have to say, from your post, it doesn't
sound like you lack those. Is it "simply" a self-comfort and behavioral
habit kind of thing?
As to the meaning of life... HAH! If you only knew how MUCH time I've
spent wondering about things like that. First, I'm 35, and abandoned
standardized religion long ago, because I believe all of it,
ironically, places too much importance on man and our dreadfully short
and cosmically insignificant lives. (The very things religion accuses
science of doing, in other words, religion does a better job of!!) I
have always been much more attracted to and uplifted by the worldview
that springs from knowledge of science. Go read Carl Sagan's "Cosmos"
or some other book on science and cosmology (few are as eloquent as
Sagan's, though), and I guarantee you you'll never feel smaller in both
the spatial and temporal dimensions. But... not "small" in a depressing
way. More in the way of, "well, I may as well try to have some fun and
enjoy this great gift of consciousness while I still have it." It may
be just the kind of lift you need to start NOT caring as much about
everything, to start NOT being so concerned about what others think,
and just being yourself.... What I mean is, and bear with me here, if
it is true that there are more stars in the universe than grains of
sand on all the world's beaches (it is!), and that a human lifetime is
about 1/1,000 of a second when the age of the Earth is compressed to a
24 hour day (it is!), then you may find the "ah, fuck it, none of this
matters anyway!" attitude that naturally follows somewhat
reinvigorating. ;-) Just enjoy yourself, try not to care as much about
how your life stacks up vs.the "happy" people's, and just try to do
some good while you're here. Not to get too cosmic, but I believe that
when you're more comfortable with your place in the universe and the
fact that we CANNOT know the meaning of all of this, your newfound
comfort and relaxed attitude will show, and the things you seem to
desire, more social interaction, etc., will probably follow.
And BTW, if it could ever be really known, I think we'd find that most
other people are NOT as happy and having as much fun as we often think.
I believe MOST people think most others are happier and having more fun
than themselves; it's probably a natural part of the human psyche, some
kind of evolutionary baggage related to how perceived competition feeds
into our drive for survival, the best mate, etc.... Causes more trouble
than it's worth in the modern society though, heheh. So maybe try not
to compare yourself to others so much. (And if you ever actually find a
way to accomplish this, please e-mail me the secret. ;-)
Hope you find something useful somewhere in all that. Some of those
things really helped me.
Scott
crfan
Yeah.
Mad Mambo Master of Macedonia
Sorry about that, no disrespect intended.
crfan
Real Ketchup
> What's the meaning of life, especially when you live like a robot
> and find no reason to do anything except eat, sleep, and work?
[...]
> Why is it that everyone else are naturally finding it easy and fun?
> My life is so boring, depressing, and is so bland. What was the
> whole purpose of my life to begin with? Is it so that I can live to
> work or study? One thing for sure is that we live to eventually
> die. So if there's no meaning to life, why did God have to make us
> go through this anyway?
I am sure there is plenty in life that you would be able to enjoy, but
loneliness and excess work can take the fun out of anything -- even
solitary pleasures for which you have time.
Regarding loneliness, I have found that it evaporates quickly when
steady progress is made in the development of social skills. Even
while you are still more or less alone, if you have good reason to be
optimistic about the future you should find yourself much more able to
enjoy the present.
Real Ketchup
> If what you're saying is you WANT to change and be more like those
> extroverted people, the first thing to do is to eliminate clinical
> depression as a source of your problems. If your seratonin and other
> brain chemicals are out of whack (no offense, I've been there!!),
> and you try to radically change the way you deal with people or view
> the world, you're "pissing into the wind" as they say, the results
> of your little experiment for change will not be good, and you may
> go deeper in. Not fun.
More likely the cause of his depression is his situation, and changing
the situation will cure the depression. Of course this does not mean
the mechanism of depression is not serotonin-related.
Mad Mambo Master of Macedonia
news:87slshc...@jerkface.net:
The cause of his situtation is to some degree himself, and that is a very
hard thing to change. If it were easy, if all you had to do was grit your
teeth and buck up, people wouldn't take antidepressants. The sad thing
is this guy keeps posting this depressing stuff but won't seek
professional help.
Real Ketchup
> Real Ketchup <real_k...@jerkface.net> wrote in
> news:87slshc...@jerkface.net:
>
>> "sttp" <scottp...@hotmail.com> writes:
>>
>>> If what you're saying is you WANT to change and be more like those
>>> extroverted people, the first thing to do is to eliminate clinical
>>> depression as a source of your problems. If your seratonin and
>>> other brain chemicals are out of whack (no offense, I've been
>>> there!!), and you try to radically change the way you deal with
>>> people or view the world, you're "pissing into the wind" as they
>>> say, the results of your little experiment for change will not be
>>> good, and you may go deeper in. Not fun.
>>
>> More likely the cause of his depression is his situation, and
>> changing the situation will cure the depression. Of course this
>> does not mean the mechanism of depression is not serotonin-related.
>
> The cause of his situtation is to some degree himself, and that is a
> very hard thing to change.
Is it easier to change yourself or your outside situation?
> If it were easy, if all you had to do was grit your teeth and buck
> up, people wouldn't take antidepressants.
I'm not saying grit your teeth and buck up. More like: get a
girlfriend and an easier job.
> The sad thing is this guy keeps posting this depressing stuff but
> won't seek professional help.
Professional help is pretty lame. Its premise seems to be that you
should be happy no matter your situation, except while you are
grieving. (Anyway that is what the DSM says about depression). But
if you are completely and involuntarily alone, and have no interest in
solitary pursuits, then depression is the only appropriate state of
mind. (Of course the reason for this attitude is that the therapist
cannot pretend to help you with your outside situation, because there
are objective standards with which to judge his performance in that
regard).
Perhaps man can be happy on the rack, but it's surely better to loosen
the ropes than up the painkillers.
Mad Mambo Master of Macedonia
>> The cause of his situtation is to some degree himself, and that is a
>> very hard thing to change.
>
> Is it easier to change yourself or your outside situation?
>
When external circumstances are a result of poor social skills and a
depressed personality, one can be in quite a bind.
lisa
I'm glad you de-lurked.
>
> And BTW, if it could ever be really known, I think we'd find that most
> other people are NOT as happy and having as much fun as we often think.
> I believe MOST people think most others are happier and having more fun
> than themselves; it's probably a natural part of the human psyche, some
> kind of evolutionary baggage related to how perceived competition feeds
> into our drive for survival, the best mate, etc.... Causes more trouble
> than it's worth in the modern society though, heheh. So maybe try not
> to compare yourself to others so much. (And if you ever actually find a
> way to accomplish this, please e-mail me the secret. ;-)
Excellent and important point. There are so many ways of looking at
what you say above.
The people in the in-crowd, who never seem to have a care in the world,
may actually believe they're happier, where they may be totally
oblivious to reality that their life is falling down around their ears.
It will catch up with them, so don't begrudge them their desperate
grasping at what happiness they may have. They will have to deal with
those behind-the-scenes issues sooner or later, or be doomed to repeat
them infinitum.
Better to feel yourself as a worthy human being exactly as you are.
You are who you are for a reason. You are exactly where you need to
be. You may feel content until you start comparing yourself to what
may or may not be an illusion of others' greater happiness.
Something I see complicating my life--and what still hasn't been
resolved--is where experiences have guided me to a place I rationalized
where happiness could contentedly reside within and around me. Piece
by piece, I've put it together. I'm exactly where I wanted to be,
where I worked for years to be. But now that I'm here, in this place,
there is a part of me that is uncomfortable; a feeling that something
is missing or not quite right.
I think that much of it has to do with the way I was raised and the way
things played out through my marriage and then the post marital trauma
years. Through almost all of my life chaos, unhappiness, and
dysfunction have been constant companions. Piece by piece I've
adjusted the puzzle so it doesn't look like a Picasso anymore but more
like a Matisse. A comfortable room to listen to music and read a book
while listening to the sounds of the waves against the shore in the
background. Yet there is a part of me that remains ever-vigilant.
Like the SWAT team is going to bust down the door and sentence me to
the rack in the town square at any moment.
Chaos was a constant companion, like a dark cloud hanging over my head.
In retrospect, in many ways, I cultivated it. Since then I've drilled
7 holes in the cloud (ZZ reference for those who know the parable)
until Chaos died. It seems that I simultaneously miss and dread the
return of Chaos.
>
> Hope you find something useful somewhere in all that. Some of those
> things really helped me.
>
> Scott
It helped me, thanks. I know such things don't come but through
experience.
rgds,
lisa
William P
>> If it were easy, if all you had to do was grit your teeth and buck
>> up, people wouldn't take antidepressants.
>
> I'm not saying grit your teeth and buck up. More like: get a
> girlfriend and an easier job.
>
>> The sad thing is this guy keeps posting this depressing stuff but
>> won't seek professional help.
>
> Professional help is pretty lame. Its premise seems to be that you
> should be happy no matter your situation, except while you are
> grieving. (Anyway that is what the DSM says about depression). But
> if you are completely and involuntarily alone, and have no interest in
> solitary pursuits, then depression is the only appropriate state of
> mind. (Of course the reason for this attitude is that the therapist
> cannot pretend to help you with your outside situation, because there
> are objective standards with which to judge his performance in that
> regard).
>
> Perhaps man can be happy on the rack, but it's surely better to loosen
> the ropes than up the painkillers.
Nicely said. Depression is a state of mind that people can have, and it
exists for a reason. (If we were equally happy all the time, nobody would
ever do anything and none of human civilization that you see around could
have happened.)
There are certainly times when depression can get out of hand and it
becomes a very non-useful state, and I'm definitely not against drug
treatments in some cases but the idea that it's okay to feel bad some of
the time, and that it can mean you should make things better for yourself
doesn't get any airtime.
Mad Mambo Master of Macedonia
> There are certainly times when depression can get out of hand and it
> becomes a very non-useful state, and I'm definitely not against drug
> treatments in some cases but the idea that it's okay to feel bad some
> of the time, and that it can mean you should make things better for
> yourself doesn't get any airtime.
Bullshit.
William P
news:Xns973A7F037B...@70.169.32.36:
> William P <will...@sympatico.ca> wrote in
> news:Xns973A73115C1B9wi...@207.35.177.134:
>
>> There are certainly times when depression can get out of hand and it
>> becomes a very non-useful state, and I'm definitely not against drug
>> treatments in some cases but the idea that it's okay to feel bad some
>> of the time, and that it can mean you should make things better for
>> yourself doesn't get any airtime.
>
> Bullshit.
Because...
sttp
neurotransmitter roles in depressive disorders would be a good
thing.... Still, no offense intended, but in my view saying that
changing the situation will "cure" the depression misses the point
about what depression is altogether. It seems as if you're saying
external circumstances cause depression, and the neurotransmitter
changes are simply a result of those external circumstances. I don't
believe that's accurate. Everything I've read and been told suggests
that the best way to think of depression is as a chemical
"susceptibility" - susceptibility to the symptoms of depression, which
can be brought on under circumstances that would NOT trigger that
response in the non-susceptible person. By its very definition,
depression is a disorder that has much more to do with a person's
perception of his or her situation than with the actual reality of that
situation. And that is the point; to a person suffering from clinical
depression (and not "just" a mild case), no amount of bettering the
outside situation makes the symptoms go away. That's perhaps the most
devastating feature of the disorder, and almost certainly the most
misunderstood. Many people with depression even appear to "have it
all," from the viewpoint of those around them. Sadly, I think
misconceptions about what clinical depression is and isn't will persist
as long as the disorder's name is entangled with a word ("depressed")
which in everyday usage just means someone's feeling a bit blue.... In
reality the disorder is so much more oppressive than that. Anyway, all
of this is why I told the original poster that, if he did in fact have
the disorder, he'd be wasting his time trying to change his
circumstances until he fixed that underlying problem first, and I stand
by that statement.
William P
@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
Given someone with depression, it could be that their brain is going
haywire in some sense.
Given someone with depression, whose circumstances clearly suck, and who
is missing basic human needs, I think there's a very non-trivial chance
that the depression isn't a mal-adaptation or whatever, but that it is
the kind that will get better when changing external circumstances.
(There's the point that drugs could help someone change their
circumstances, which is very true for some people.) But my quibbling on
this is just personal, because there was a time when my mom was getting
all paranoid about things I said and doctors were telling her that she
needed to convince me to get on medication, and I ended up okay with
drugs. (Whether I could have ended up okay more quickly with drugs, I
don't care so much.)
Mad Mambo Master of Macedonia
For starters, there's a well-known Twilight Zone episode with this them--
and EVERYONE has seen it.
And then there's that fat fuck Dr. Phil and his ilk that populate daytime
TV for the fat housewive category. And then there's plenty of self-
righteous cunts on those religious channels.
And those news magazine shows like 60 minutes & whatnot. And people who
don't watch any of those watch sports, and those people are always on
about hard work and that bullshit, and the luck of being born with talent
and not getting injured seems to me to be rarely discussed.
William P
> William P <will...@sympatico.ca> wrote in
> news:Xns973A9CD2814C8wi...@207.35.177.135:
>
>> Mad Mambo Master of Macedonia <ne...@newb.com> wrote in
>> news:Xns973A7F037B...@70.169.32.36:
>>
>>> William P <will...@sympatico.ca> wrote in
>>> news:Xns973A73115C1B9wi...@207.35.177.134:
>>>
>>>> There are certainly times when depression can get out of hand and
>>>> it becomes a very non-useful state, and I'm definitely not against
>>>> drug treatments in some cases but the idea that it's okay to feel
>>>> bad some of the time, and that it can mean you should make things
>>>> better for yourself doesn't get any airtime.
>>>
>>> Bullshit.
>>
>> Because...
>>
>
> For starters, there's a well-known Twilight Zone episode with this
> them-- and EVERYONE has seen it.
>
> And then there's that fat fuck Dr. Phil and his ilk that populate
> daytime TV for the fat housewive category. And then there's plenty of
> self- righteous cunts on those religious channels.
I'll confess I haven't heard much Dr. Phil because my nausea threshhold
isn't so high. He's such a chubby condescending uncompromising twat that
he makes me look balanced. But does he deliver the message that it's okay
to feel like a sack of tired shit some of the time? (Or even useful, or
even therapeutic?)
Mad Mambo Master of Macedonia
>
> I'll confess I haven't heard much Dr. Phil because my nausea
> threshhold isn't so high. He's such a chubby condescending
> uncompromising twat that he makes me look balanced. But does he
> deliver the message that it's okay to feel like a sack of tired shit
> some of the time? (Or even useful, or even therapeutic?)
>
>
All I'm really sure of is that he deserves a bullet in the head, just for
opening his mouth.