Re: Where is Everybody?
MrWigglesworth
> On Sep 8, 4:16 pm, "JimSummers"
>
> <ProudlyenteringthepostSolitaryFraud...@texasclown.org> wrote:
> > No Wigglesworth?
>
> > No troll?
>
> > No Antares?
>
> > No Bernd?
>
> > No Darkfalz?
>
> I've been busy with life stuff. Specifically, my stressful job. I'm
> tired of the job, tired of the industry, and tired of my life. So, in
> a radical effort to shake things up, I'm thinking of pursuing a PhD
> and retreating into the comfort of an ivory-tower academic job. I
> already took my GRE and did very well on it. However, since I'm no
> longer interested in computer science, I'll have to do my PhD in
> something I have no background in--such as psychology or business.
> Thus, I'm spending my days college-surfing, looking a field I can get
> into without too much prior knowledge.
My parents always pushed me to get an MBA, but frankly I'd rather eat
my own head. I figured you had got a girlfriend and disappeared.
Antares
> On Wed, 10 Sep 2008 00:45:35 -0700 (PDT), Antares
>
>
>
>
>
> <antaresonwhe...@gmail.com> wrote:
> >On Sep 9, 2:32 pm, "JimSummers"
> ><ProudlyenteringthepostSolitaryFraud...@texasclown.org> wrote:
> >> >No.
>
> >> I platonically "dated" that Indian woman for >about 2 months, and then she
> >> moved to Phoenix.
>
> >> Did you want to have sex with her?
>
> >Sure, but not enough to actively pursue it. She just wasn't very
> >attractive to me.
>
> >She was hyper-social, in that clannish Indian way--always telling
> >stories about her second cousin twice removed, or the traditional
> >dances at her sister's wedding. Also, she had a zillion friends--she'd
> >talk about, say, her two "great friends" from San Francisco that she
> >makes an effort to meet at least once a year. Or about her good friend
> >from Wisconsin. Or her slew of good friends in Phoenix. Frankly, I was
> >feeling lost in all that crowd. I just don't trust extraverts, is what
> >it comes down to.
>
> >Also, she was talkative, but a lot of it was just boring what-I-did-
> >today stuff--detailed accounts of shopping trips, or what she cooked
> >for dinner. I would try to shift the conversation onto cultural lines,
> >or political, or books/art/music. Nada. She wasn't even interested. In
> >a sense, she helped demystify women for me; I now know that even an
> >educated, intelligent woman can be very boring!
>
> >She also didn't seem particularly into me. This was the confusing
> >part... she *did* actively try to meet with me a lot (we got together
> >2-3 times a week), but then she didn't seem that interested in *me*
> >per se, just in me as an "activity partner." As I said, she was hyper-
> >social. If she was a shy chick who made an effort to see me, I'd be
> >far more encouraged, because at least I'd have signs of genuine non-
> >platonic interest.
>
> >She wasn't very romantic. Maybe because she was an engineer. Or it
> >could be an Indian thing. I asked her a lot of questions about her
> >life... which she was very happy to answer. But she showed little
> >reciprocal interest in me.
>
> >We did a bunch of "romantic" things, is the funny thing. We sat
> >together on the beach at night once. Afterward, we had pizza together
> >at a seaside Greek pub. But at no point did things get really
> >romantic.
>
> >Bottom line, I just wasn't attracted to her. Now, I make no excuses
> >for being a wuss--if she had come onto *me* physically, I'd have
> >happily boinked her. So clearly the willingness was there. But her low
> >attractiveness to me just wasn't sufficient to motivate me to take the
> >huge (for me) step of initiating anything.
>
> >Overall, I played the sickening role of Nice Guy (what else?), but on
> >a grander scale than ever before. At some point--actually, it was
> >during that "romantic" night on the beach--I somehow blurted out a
> >confession that I had never been in a relationship before (it somehow
> >flowed from the conversation). She seemed surprised. Then I started
> >feeling resentful towards her, for eliciting that humiliating
> >confession. And I also felt despair. I was a lot quieter for the rest
> >of the night.
>
> >Before she left for Phoenix, she repeatedly urged me to come see her.
> >Then, she continued calling me a lot from Phoenix. But she was even
> >more boring over the phone. So I started not returning her calls, and
> >now we've lost touch.
>
> >I put my chance of dying a virgin at 75%.
>
> Why do you say that ? Now you know that there are women that are
> attracted to you. Maybe the next one will not be boring.- Hide quoted text -
Like I said, I don't even know if she was attracted to me. Frankly,
she was so hypersocial (she spent maybe 60% of her spare time
socializing) that it was hard to detect any sincere interest on her
part. She was smiley, laugh-y, chatty with every person on the planet.
busyloner
She was constantly calling you (even when she learned that you where
inexperienced) and she wanted you to see her in Phoenix and you say
she was not attracted to you ?! What did you need as a proof ? That
she raped you ? It's obvious she was attracted to you, maybe not as a
boyfriend, but as a male friend - it's obvious that she has many
friends. And if you're alone it's as important to have female friends
as having a girlfriend because you will feel less alone and sometimes
it can help you finding a girlfriend.
JimSummers
inexperienced) and she wanted you to see her in Phoenix and you say
she was not attracted to you ?! What did you need as a proof ? That she
raped you ? It's obvious she was attracted to you, maybe not as a
>boyfriend, but as a male friend
I disagree, I think she did want him as a boyfriend but he wouldn't
initiate the necessary moves to make that happen. I don't think he even
tried to have sex with her. I think he flatly refused to initiate anything
sexual. Maybe he didn't find her attractive enough.
--
Message posted using http://www.talkaboutsupport.com/group/alt.support.shyness/
More information at http://www.talkaboutsupport.com/faq.html
DeadRodentTyping
0016d1...@b30g2000prf.googlegroups.com:
> Sorry, Antares but i am a woman that lot of guys dreaming
> me as their partner forever where my heart design into one guy only.
>
> Nil
Ummmm...what?
--
Migraine I have.
Rifftrax (Revenge of the Sith).
DeadRodentTyping
5ba171...@1g2000pre.googlegroups.com:
>
> I happen to know of some fields that are incredibly "hot" right now;
> that's the only reason I'm considering academic life. I would only go
> somewhere where the job prospects are good.
>
>
I think psychology is overcrowded. Maybe neuroscience, which you could
probably do without getting a bio. degree.
Nil
<DeadRodentTyp...@alreadydead.edu> wrote:
> Nil <janila...@gmail.com> wrote in news:f10c7c2f-56e4-4dbf-b198-
> 0016d17d3...@b30g2000prf.googlegroups.com:
>
> > Sorry, Antares but i am a woman that lot of guys dreaming
> > me as their partner forever where my heart design into one guy only.
>
> > Nil
>
> Ummmm...what?
>
> --
> Migraine I have.
> Rifftrax (Revenge of the Sith).
Did i surprise?
Nil
JimSummers
No troll?
No Antares?
No Bernd?
No Darkfalz?
--
JimSummers
JimSummers
of the job, tired of the >industry, and tired of my life.
What happened with all of those women you were dating? Did you finally
have sex with one of them?
Nil
They are really keep silent that would possible this
group dying.
Nil
Antares
>
> No troll?
>
> No Antares?
>
> No Bernd?
>
> No Darkfalz?
I've been busy with life stuff. Specifically, my stressful job. I'm
busyloner
You remind me of Titanium when he had a job in EE and decided to
become a dentist and ended with $300000 of debt. Having a PhD at your
age in something that you have no background and searching for a job
afterward will be very difficult.
Antares
<ProudlyenteringthepostSolitaryFraud...@texasclown.org> wrote:
> >I've been busy with life stuff. Specifically, my stressful job. I'm tired
>
> of the job, tired of the >industry, and tired of my life.
>
> What happened with all of those women you were dating? Did you finally
> have sex with one of them?
No.
Antares
> On Mon, 8 Sep 2008 18:56:25 -0700 (PDT), Antares
>
>
>
>
>
> <antaresonwhe...@gmail.com> wrote:
> >On Sep 8, 4:16 pm, "JimSummers"
> ><ProudlyenteringthepostSolitaryFraud...@texasclown.org> wrote:
> >> No Wigglesworth?
>
> >> No troll?
>
> >> No Antares?
>
> >> No Bernd?
>
> >> No Darkfalz?
>
> >I've been busy with life stuff. Specifically, my stressful job. I'm
> >tired of the job, tired of the industry, and tired of my life. So, in
> >a radical effort to shake things up, I'm thinking of pursuing a PhD
> >and retreating into the comfort of an ivory-tower academic job. I
> >already took my GRE and did very well on it. However, since I'm no
> >longer interested in computer science, I'll have to do my PhD in
> >something I have no background in--such as psychology or business.
> >Thus, I'm spending my days college-surfing, looking a field I can get
> >into without too much prior knowledge.
>
> You remind me of Titanium when he had a job in EE and decided to
> become a dentist and ended with $300000 of debt.
I'm not likely to incur any debt as a PhD, since I would be fully
funded (or else not enrol). A dentist is a professional degree. It is
different from a PhD, which is a research degree and which
universities will generally fund.
> Having a PhD at your
> age in something that you have no background and searching for a job
> afterward will be very difficult
I happen to know of some fields that are incredibly "hot" right now;
JimSummers
I platonically "dated" that Indian woman for >about 2 months, and then she
moved to Phoenix.
Did you want to have sex with her?
MrWigglesworth
<ProudlyenteringthepostSolitaryFraud...@texasclown.org> wrote:
> No Wigglesworth?
>
> No troll?
>
> No Antares?
>
> No Bernd?
>
> No Darkfalz?
>
> --
> More information athttp://www.talkaboutsupport.com/faq.html
I'm still here. This group has been pretty boring lately, though.
Antares
>
> I platonically "dated" that Indian woman for >about 2 months, and then she
> moved to Phoenix.
>
> Did you want to have sex with her?
Sure, but not enough to actively pursue it. She just wasn't very
Antares
wrote:
My parents have certainly been pushing the PhD thing as well. I wonder
why it is that parents always want their kids to get a better
education.
Nil
The conclusion she is not the woman your looking for. And please be
reminded you in general women are so sweet with softhearted. I regret
on your comment just because the woman is an Engineer. Co'z as one
of them I am not what you think about women Engineer. As one and
only woman graduated out of 100. I don't ever feel and act like as you
concluded. Sorry, Antares but i am a woman that lot of guys dreaming
JimSummers
attractive to me.
She was hyper-social, in that clannish Indian way--always telling stories
about her second cousin twice removed, or the traditional dances at her
sister's wedding. Also, she had a zillion friends--she'd talk about, say,
her two "great friends" from San Francisco that she makes an effort to
meet at least once a year. Or about her good friend from Wisconsin. Or her
slew of good friends in Phoenix. Frankly, I was feeling lost in all that
crowd. I just don't trust extraverts, is what it comes down to.
Also, she was talkative, but a lot of it was just boring what-I-did- today
stuff--detailed accounts of shopping trips, or what she cooked for dinner.
I would try to shift the conversation onto cultural lines,or political, or
This was a great post, you seem to have learned a lot about women in the
past year. I found your confession to her of no previous relationships very
painful to read. Something I've noticed about shybies, that on a deep level
we want other people to know we are different because in a way it feels
like we've been through some kind of hellish war and we want other people
to give us some compassion, but at the same time the confession of being
different gives these normal social people the ammunition to feel superior
to us which is a blow to our pride.
Antares, you've made a lot of progress, you've pushed your limits,
you've grown as a person, I don't think you could ask anymore of yourself
than that. As far as shybies go you are one of the tough ones. I suspect
that you will reach your goal eventually.
busyloner
Why do you say that ? Now you know that there are women that are
JimSummers
attracted to you. Maybe the >next one will not be boring.
Nah, they are almost all like that, he's looking for types of women who
basically don't exist. Most women only talk about their friends and family
and the other women they are competing with, this political and cultural
stuff he's looking for in women just isn't there.
Women go to college to get a high paying job, they take no interest in
anything they've learned, it is simply of no interest to their ego, it is
merely a stepping stone to getting paid and rising in social status. He's
looking for women who REALLY internalize ideas and that is rare indeed.
Okay I'll correct that, IT IS THERE but it is primarily found in Jewish
women. He needs a Jewish girl, they seem to be the only females who are
politically active who are more like a man. A few years ago I was in a
class with a Georgian (from the Caucasus not the U.S. south) Jewish female
and she was just as politically combative and opinionated as any man. It
was quite impressive actually (and I'm not a fan of Jews by any means) how
she would challenge the professor and want to draw the entire class into a
debate, the rest of the females in class looked at her like she was from
Mars because they just want a passing grade and couldn't care either way
about these issues.
My uncle's Jewish wife is the same way, Jewish women like to discuss
politics and religion, the typical Christian White females or even Indians
or Asian females DO NOT.
Antares should date Jewish women if he wants intense discussions about
politics and religion.
Francogrex
<ProudlyenteringthepostSolitaryFraud...@texasclown.org> wrote:
> No Wigglesworth?
> No troll?
> No Antares?
> No Bernd?
> No Darkfalz?
It's been years since I've read or written in this group. This group
helped me through real tough times (and when I say helped me I'm not
talking about psychological support, but more about the fun reading
and interacting...). I just went back in the archives to my first
posts in this group aroung 2002. I remember Darkfalz, Wrybread, some
guy called Mathieu and a woman called kitzenary and Miss pantz and
some real freaky characters whose names I forgot etc... Those were the
good old times. Happy though to see some familiar names like Jim
Summers and the Putt King still around.
Antares
Yeah, it was bizarre how I painted myself into a corner that evening.
She talked about how people in relationships miss each other if
they're apart for months, and I said "I wouldn't know." However, she
misinterpted it to mean I wouldn't know about *being in a
relationship*. So she asked me point-blank if I had ever been in one.
I hesitated for about two seconds, during which time slowed down to a
crawl... I was like, "Do I tell?" And then I decided, screw it, I'll
just tell the truth.
> Something I've noticed about shybies, that on a deep level
> we want other people to know we are different because in a way it feels
> like we've been through some kind of hellish war and we want other people
> to give us some compassion, but at the same time the confession of being
> different gives these normal social people the ammunition to feel superior
> to us which is a blow to our pride.
That's very observant. I guess the ideal scenario would be for a woman
to accept that I've been shy all my life, and yet not think any less
of me for it. However, I'm probably dreaming. Either I lie to her
about my previous experience (and I'm not a big fan of that), or I
admit to being a loser. I guess I need to find a woman who likes
losers.
> Antares, you've made a lot of progress, you've pushed your limits,
> you've grown as a person, I don't think you could ask anymore of yourself
> than that. As far as shybies go you are one of the tough ones. I suspect
> that you will reach your goal eventually.
Thanks. Any progress on your end?
Antares
<ProudlyenteringthepostSolitaryFraud...@texasclown.org> wrote:
> >Why do you say that ? Now you know that there are women that are
>
> attracted to you. Maybe the >next one will not be boring.
>
> Nah, they are almost all like that, he's looking for types of women who
> basically don't exist. Most women only talk about their friends and family
> and the other women they are competing with, this political and cultural
> stuff he's looking for in women just isn't there.
>
> Women go to college to get a high paying job, they take no interest in
> anything they've learned, it is simply of no interest to their ego, it is
> merely a stepping stone to getting paid and rising in social status. He's
> looking for women who REALLY internalize ideas and that is rare indeed.
Eh, I've known lots of women who were heavily into books, art, etc.
(less often into politics). Unfortunately, those women are also the
pickiest! It's a catch-22. I'm only attracted to women who are smart
enough to know they can do better than me.
> Okay I'll correct that, IT IS THERE but it is primarily found in Jewish
> women. He needs a Jewish girl, they seem to be the only females who are
> politically active who are more like a man.
Oh, I love Jewish women. They are always smart and funny. However,
they are typically picky as well--see above.
> Antares should date Jewish women if he wants intense discussions about
> politics and religion.
I don't really *insist* on talking politics with a woman. I do want to
talk about something abstract, or more interesting than the mundane,
though. Talk about shopping trips just doesn't cut it.
