We broke up
Monica Poon
net for 2 years said goodbye to me because he can't handle anymore of
my depression and sadness (I have health problem) and his landlord's
daughter who is living under the same roof with him get close with
him. They slept together :~~~(((( Although we haven't meet in person,
I do feel deeply for him and I love him very much. We talked on the
phone a lot of times. My heart broke. This is my FIRST love. I feel
like I am coming to an end. I have nothing to live for. I don't want
to lose him. WHY THE WORLD IS SO CRUEL TO ME?
Monica
Cheryl
> I feel
>like I am coming to an end. I have nothing to live for. I don't want
>to lose him. WHY THE WORLD IS SO CRUEL TO ME?
Monica,
First, let me tell you how sorry I am for what you are going through! I want
to try to give you some words of hope and encouragement. Please believe that
the world is not being cruel to you! I don't want to sound like I'm making
light of your feelings, because I know they are real and deep. But these
things are all a part of life, as much as they hurt! You have YOURSELF to live
for! And you sound like a very caring, loving person! So don't give up on
that, even tho HE did.
And since HE DID give up on that, then please tell yourself he's not worth it!
If he's been with someone else, you deserve someone who will respect you and
love YOU and be faithful to YOU. Like I said, you sound like a very loving
person, and you deserve to be with someone who will recognize that and
appreciate it! So, even though right now you feel like you don't want to lose
him, ask yourself what is it you don't want to lose? Is it HIM, or is it an
image you have OF him?
Another thing I want you to believe is this.....people will hurt you only if
you let them. Don't let this guy get you down! Don't let him destroy you or
your life! YOU HAVE CONTROL, of yourself if nothing else! There IS someone
out there for you, I promise you! It's very possible this guy was NOT the one.
And if you say this was your "first" love, well that's always the hardest.
Losing love is what hurts most. But I swear there WILL be others! I'm almost
40 and it took me until almost 2 yrs ago to finally find MY true love. You
need to take care of yourself and don't let this guy (or any others for that
matter) let you ruin who you are!!
The old saying "if you love someone, let them go. If they come back, they're
yours forever. If they don't, they never were" is SOOO true! I just recently
went through that with my SO, I "let him go" and he came back (and fairly
quickly I might add!). So if you let this guy "go" and he doesn't come back,
he's not worth having! You deserve THE BEST and don't settle for less!
Hang in there, and vent here if you need to! Just keep telling yourself what a
wonderful person you are, because YOU ARE!!
Cheryl
Mom to Matt, UC Class of 2000
Julie Gates
I don't normally bother replying to posts, but yours just hit me and I felt
like I had to say something.
First of all, I know life probably seems really tough right now. I know it
feels like nothing is going your way, like you have lost a purpose for
living because your online love has abandoned you, but you have your life to
live for, not his.
You seem like a genuine, caring lady and if this chap can't see it, it is
his loss, not yours. You deserve much better than for him to give up on you
like this, and it is for this reason you can move on and you can find
someone much better, who deserves you and who truly loves you.
I have also been through some pretty rough times, but I have come through
them to be the strongest I have probably ever been. The rule to remember is
to first love yourself and be happy with who you are, and then you can deal
with anything that gets in your way. If this happens to be a man who doesn't
realise how lucky he is, so be it.
There really is someone out there for you, you just haven't found him yet.
But until you do, you must concentrate on yourself and making you happy for
who you are. Find an interest you enjoy, pursue it, maybe meet a man through
that. Just do anything that makes you feel good. And you must remember that
you are the owner of your mind and body, so therefore you can do anything
and be anything you want.
Sorry I've gone on, but I just have to try and get it across that it isn't
the end of the world and the pain you are feeling, no matter how strong, is
a part of life and it will make you stronger. I promise! :-)
Take care of yourself,
Jules
"Monica Poon" <mon...@q-net.net.au> wrote in message
news:38f95e71...@news.q-net.net.au...
> Yesterday was a history of my life. The man I've been seeing on the
> net for 2 years said goodbye to me because he can't handle anymore of
> my depression and sadness (I have health problem) and his landlord's
> daughter who is living under the same roof with him get close with
> him. They slept together :~~~(((( Although we haven't meet in person,
> I do feel deeply for him and I love him very much. We talked on the
> phone a lot of times. My heart broke. This is my FIRST love. I feel
lonely guy
having an LDR with for almost 2 years told me that, while I was
recovering from a major surgery (brain tumor), she decided to
start screwing around with another guy and other girls too! The
worst part about it was that she was a virgin before that, and we
were saving ourselves for each other until the next time we would
have met (we met once before, last year).
I experienced some of same emotions you say you have, like not
wanting to let her go at first, and the fear of falling back into
a bottomless pit of depression. But I've decided I don't want to
go there again, so I'm resisting it by reminding myself that
she's a complete IDIOT for what she's done and I deserve better
than that, I deserve better than HER. She's ruining her life with
the stupid choices she's making, and I have to accept I can't
save her, because if I do she'll just pull me down with her.
The world can be a cruel place, especially if you're in the wrong
place at the wrong time. The world is cruel to itself, by nature,
I think. So you have to change your cirumstances and move on to a
safer place. That's the hardest part, because you feel like if
you move on a piece of you will go missing, and leave a black
hole in its place forever. I don't know what I can say about
that, other than just take it one day at a time. I'm still
struggling with that, myself.
Monica Poon wrote in message
<38f95e71...@news.q-net.net.au>...
Monica Poon
is the most caring person I ever know. I am only 19 years old. Before
he said goodbye to me, he told me he will be happy if he knows I am
happy. When I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) -
www.pcosupport.org in Dec 1998, he was always here for me giving me
advices and comforting me. He listened to me and went through the hard
time with me (he sometimes don't even sleep till the morning-time
differences between Malaysia and UK).
I always scare that no one can accept me. I have a lot of problems cuz
of the PCOS. I am overweight, I am hairy (hairy on the parts girl dun
supposed to have), I am infertile and in high risk to get heart
disease, cancer and diabetes. If I tell guys I have all these, they
would have gone forever. For me, I think I am a burden to others. I'm
fraid I won't live long enough. I want to settle down and try to have
my own family. I want to enjoy this life with the ones I loved before
anything bad happen to me or time runs short (you see I am always a
negative person).
It's really hard for me to accept the fact that he is gone now. He
said we can 'remain friends' but I don't know if this will do good to
me. The pain is so much to bear. Now I don't even care of my own
health.
Monica
Megan
>I always scare that no one can accept me. I have a lot of problems cuz
>of the PCOS. I am overweight, I am hairy (hairy on the parts girl dun
>supposed to have), I am infertile and in high risk to get heart
>disease, cancer and diabetes. If I tell guys I have all these, they
>would have gone forever. For me, I think I am a burden to others. I'm
>fraid I won't live long enough. I want to settle down and try to have
>my own family. I want to enjoy this life with the ones I loved before
>anything bad happen to me or time runs short (you see I am always a
>negative person).
>
I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles... I can kinda identify with you on some
of those issues. I don't have PCOS.... but I have Neurofibromatosis Type 2
(NF2), which causes benign tumors to grow from the nerves, particularly the
brain and spinal cord. I was teased as a child because I was different (even
tho i didnt find out why i was different til a few years ago). Thankfully I
have a fiance who really cares about me. I get depressed at times... and worry
about being a burden (both from pouring my troubled heart out to him and what
may lie in the future). Believe that the right one is out there for you too...
Megan <3
Brian Kendig
>I always scare that no one can accept me. I have a lot of problems cuz
>of the PCOS. I am overweight, I am hairy (hairy on the parts girl dun
>supposed to have), I am infertile and in high risk to get heart
>disease, cancer and diabetes. If I tell guys I have all these, they
>would have gone forever. For me, I think I am a burden to others. I'm
>fraid I won't live long enough. I want to settle down and try to have
>my own family. I want to enjoy this life with the ones I loved before
>anything bad happen to me or time runs short (you see I am always a
>negative person).
So you're overweight -- exercise! Getting regular exercise, even just
taking walks a few times a week and keeping your diet within moderation, can
make a tremendous difference in your appearance and your mood. Not that
there's anything inherently wrong with being overweight, aside from the
health risks. I'm overweight, and it hasn't been a problem in the
relationships I've been in, because these relationships have been based on
something deeper than looking like Hollywood starlets. Besides, some of the
nicest, cuddliest, and even sexiest people I've known have been overweight.
So you're hairy -- I'll bet a lot of women suffer from that and hide it!
You can shave regularly, or even go to one of those hair removal doctors.
So you're infertile -- I know a lot of guys who would consider this a plus,
actually. ;) Sex often with a greatly reduced risk of an unexpected
pregnancy! And when you're ready for children, you can see a doctor about
it, or consider adopting, which is a noble cause in itself.
So you're at high risk for future health problems. So what? Do the best
you can do with the life you've got now, live life to the fullest, carpe
diem! Maybe you'll get hit by a truck before the end of the year, or maybe
you'll live to age 89. You *don't* want to look back at age 88 1/2 and wish
that you had taken a chance when you were younger.
Monica, I don't see anything inherently wrong with you. I actually see a
lot of good in you -- you're obviously a very well-spoken, caring person
with a lot of love to give. Nothing you've said makes you unloveable, and
I'd say you've got a much better chance at a happy, fulfilled life than
someone with a perfect body, an IQ of 80, and a mean streak.
Have you considered working at a hospital, perhaps with people who are
coping with PCOS? I'll bet a lot of people could benefit from hearing how
you've coped with the disease.
Meanwhile, if there's something that bothers you about your life, see if
there's anything you can do to fix it... and if there's not, then don't fret
about it! You're a sensitive nineteen-year-old with a lot of heart, not a
bedridden seventy-year-old with emphyzema. I believe that the love of your
life *is* out there somewhere, and someday, maybe in a year, maybe in
twenty, you'll meet him. :) Until then, enjoy your life, live it to the
fullest, get out there and meet more people in your day-to-day life! :)
By the way -- have you ever heard the song 'Everybody's Free To Wear
Sunscreen'? It was a hit in America last year, and I think it applies to
your situation. :) You can find a RealPlayer version of the music video on
'http://hollywoodandvine.com/bazluhrmann/index.html'.
--
____ |\/| Brian Kendig
\ /\ / ..__. brian at enchanter net You are in a maze of twisty
\/ \__\ _/ http://www.enchanter.net/ little passages, all alike.
\__ __ \_ Be insatiably curious.
\____\___\ Ask "why" a lot.
sknod
happening to you is normal and not the exception. To find out
what was really wrong email me both of your month day and year
birthdates and I'll analyze that relationship for you free. don
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Monica Poon
You need me and that bastard birthdates??
Oh well then, my birthdate is 18 Feb 1981 and that bastard is 18
August 1967
Monica
Cheryl
>that bastard
There ya go, Monica!! LOL!!! I always believe in calling a spade a spade!
Good for you! Don't let his guy get you down! And listen....I used to think
the same thing about myself as you did, that under my circumstance who would
want me. I don't have health problems as you do, BUT I have been married twice
and I have four kids, along with working 60+ hours a week. What man in his
right mind would want to get involved with someone like that? What man, I ask?
The RIGHT man!! And I found him. YOU can too, and you will! You are still
young (I know you're tired ofh hearing that!!). I believe finding that right
person takes time. You WILL find him. Just keep believing in yourself and
believing you are special, and other people will pick up on that, and your
soulmate will be "drawn" to you. I promise. I just wish I could tell you
when! :) Take some time and work on yourself, and when G-d feels you are
ready, he will send you your soulmate.
Hang in there, girl! I have TONS of faith in you!! :)
Monica Poon
I like that old saying. I think it's so true. My ex-bf come back to me
(after a week he said goodbye to me). He asked for forgiveness. He
said he wasn't in any relationship with that girl and it was a one-off
and he don't feel for her. He know I was hurt and sad and he felt so
bad about that. He wants me to be happy. He said we have shared too
many things together and he still care and feel for me.
He also said he is being true to me and we're part of each other.
It's been 2 years I'm with him and approaching 3 years in this
September. I still love him but I dunno if I want to give us a chance.
Can you give me advies??
Monica
>The old saying "if you love someone, let them go. If they come back, they're
>yours forever. If they don't, they never were" is SOOO true! I just recently
>went through that with my SO, I "let him go" and he came back (and fairly
>quickly I might add!). So if you let this guy "go" and he doesn't come back,
>he's not worth having! You deserve THE BEST and don't settle for less!
>
>
Tristan Hones-Gatling
i am on my lunch break so i wont be back on untill about 5 pm eastern time.
little about me. 18 just recently joined to army 7 months ago..in a rocky
relationship. well i nead to get back to work.
tristan
GG4you4170
Just my two cents. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Sounds hard but I really
think it's true.
Vicki and David
Illinois and Australia
"Sometimes the heart can see what the eyes can not."
GG4you4170
Welcome to the group. If you are here for support. YOU GOT IT! We are looking
forward to hearing from you.
Cheryl
>Just my two cents. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Sounds hard but I
>really
>think it's true.
>
I have to agree here with that one. I've been with a cheater, and they cheat
for a reason. Regardless if they come back or not, you will always have that
doubt. And everyone deserves to be in a relationship that has no doubts
hanging over your head. A good indication of whether you should continue a
relationship or not is if there is doubt. My motto has always been....when in
doubt, don't. Ok, I've not always been able to follow it! But man, when I
haven't I've screwed up big time!
sknod
supposed to feel this way. Find out how they go through what you
are going through without it bothering them. don
Mary
>supposed to feel this way. Find out how they go through what you
>are going through without it bothering them. don
You take things and turn it to your advantage. I never said that she should not
feel upset. Any break up is upsetting. She may come here and vent and cry all
she wants that is why we are all here. She just doesn't need to have a reading
as to why they broke up. The distance got to them its that simple. And please
read my signature.
Mary
"Don't cry because it's over... smile because it was"
"Distance makes the love seem sweeter --
even if it doesn't seem so at the time."
