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SuperCalousFragileMysticPlaguedWithHalitosis
Jun 10, 2022, 4:57:12 PM6/10/22
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I posted here, saying had serious email probs on usual accoutns.
Letting David know in particular.
Howver, I see today that my post never showed up.
hmm.
Been sleeping my life away...Not sure if pot covid as in long trrm effects, or if due to something else.
ÙÙHad much pin, abdomen, thught reated to stomach or bile duct blockage due to stones aybe, then felt more acute and localised abs erhaps kisney stone(s).
whatvr the ce, could not mve save min, absolute essential to survive for many weeks..so sleep at least -when ain allowed that is, made time ass....
so much to catch up on. too much in fact, and am back to "how on earth to prioritize what??" when ll becomes urgent.
It.s been very very grey all sring -abd winter, except mybe a total of what, 8 days if even so. Rain again ad again....So much humidity, flies multiplied like hell.
Dunno if some building neighbour left fr holidays with a windw opened r broken, but gawd!
Like fruit fies...in fact d some all winter, even big reg flies if ess of thise, wondering howcome they did nt freeze and die outdoors, and thinking mybe the building pusger grew pot n a ton of menure, becase one day, walking out of common corridor, I noticed like 12 big flie, in february, trying to escape outdoors, clngng to the building glass doors leadubg to the exterior prking lot.
It eemed to keep to that, fruit fles and the rare 2-3 vig ones to rid of in winter, but by spring, it became maddening.
In the last days, I noticed a decrease, so I figure whatever the cause, smeone had taken action.
Or was it my homemade tras alone helping the entire dsrn building, I dunno...
Trick I use: snce they seem fr the mini (baby?) ones to hng arund pipes (kitchen sink, washroom bathtub essentially), I take 2 old cups, white inside seems to attract them more, and ut a bit of dishliquid in those then fill them with hot water, which attracts them more than cold. Idea is to make the soap FOAM way over the top of cup, as high as possible.
For some reason, the small onesseem to not see the foamy part, ad land in it and die instantly.
I HATE kiling anything...but gt to be me or them so maddening they were: breathing them in nse, mouth, gettng some in eyes, ears, I thiught I never would see the end of it...Still nt sure I will if decrease is clearly there....
Only saw one just now in pc room, where airco unit figured also attracted them due to its removing humidity from house, and them attracted to any liquid or humidity. NRMALLY would have been fighting with them with both hads teying to get a free hnd to typ, so clearly is better, if been using my dish liquid soap r weeks no-stop.
Also fiund out they hate he smell of peppermith, so I use a drop on index to rub on hair and arms tp be left in darn peace.
Wish I had more peppermint essential oil left, to put some in water in a sray bottle.
The resn I think whoever is responsibe took action is that the few big flies were so so fast, was near impossible to kill them, until last 2-3 days..as if half dead by then, very slow they became, compared to flies on steroid beore. I kid you not, never saw such flies in my life...even tne tiny ones were so so darn fast! eyes many times faster than our usual canadian flies. Theefore I call them "chineese" flies;-). Imported with lord knows what where...or made as if on steroid for the wether allowin them i super multiply...qMD STARVE, BEING TOO MANY, HREFRE SOOO fast nd agressive.
annyin to death!
Every time I walked by siink, I wuld add water to rause foam again and add water again or dishliquid after throwing dead ones out. Lately, even some of the few aduktor regular size fles died in foam. Yay!
Anyway....
I fear chemical sprays due to pets, specially birds...
Plus am on a severe budget again, trying to prioritize between food and stuff to buy, as in "can create flie killing stuff, but nt toilet paper, so...let,s find a home made stuff against flies and buy toilet paper.mpft. that bad it s until civil servants get to my income tax return -hoping accountant gt it rifht this time around -abd my old age monthky check, late almost 2 yrs now...
ùFor now, rent an bills are priority and trying to stretch it for 2 mnths more, f some bills might have to wat 2 mnths whe run ut of pooreconomis left...nt enough fo food.
In the meantime, sibblngs are sxtill doSis 2 nd 4 ing their fight n court agaist this and that in mom's will...so I just ebded up lettin them fight each other since there is no way to be sure one is more honest than he other....Different motvatios, different reasons each have, but none o the being REALLY about rspecting mom's will.
Sis no 2 seems at times to think like me, then gets in total rage saying only "us girls should get anything". I fear she s not realizing maybe wgat ss no 4, whom she named administrator abd who is the one taking will contestation to court, nit reaizing hw the affirmations in sis no 4's court dpcuments are asking bro totally disinherited. Of course he took 160,000 from mom,s account. But allowing him to inherit is share AND askiing the court to order substracted the 160,000 he took could aje sense tome. Sis no 2 then ss tgus s exactky wa "they", i.e. she abd sis no 4 intend to do.ut when I try and tell her or ask her if she even read the dmands made by sis bo 4 to desinherit br totally, she dies nt get it...The ast time, se syed silent a srt moment and aditted se dd nit even read ss no 4's court demabds ab *maybe sge should*.
àIn the meantime, ss no 1 git upset to see sus no 4 was mde admn with sis no 2, while a ublic curatr had suggested after taling to each of us separateky, sis no 3 to help sis no 2. Not ss no 4. Nore, mom had listed 3 names as possibe excotors, first sus no 2, scnd, ss no 1 bd last sus no 3. Never mentioning me or sis no 4 as curator. In my case, I suspect bo there insisted nit me, due to his assaulting me way back and fearng rtaliation. Wrongo but whatever. Mom also knew I wa very sick, so. No prob there w me. But sis no 4 was never listed, probably or her nevr seein mom since dad died and mom inherited from dad, which gt ss no 4 to never speak to mom again...nr to me, as I was the ony girl who refused to contest dad,s will, inding it nirmal he left all to his wife, doh, plus finding my ssters strange in ther motivations to contest dad,s wsill, findun them caring re fir mney han fir mom.
So...Sis no 1 joined w bro to cntest his being desinherited. I replied as asked by Justice that I contested the will contestatio. But if sis no 1 bro ad I seemed aiming atrespecting mom'swill,sis no 1 would chnge sides each x days...and wanted me to pay ther attrneys on will inheritance wch I had made ckear from day 1 I would not do. fact ss no 1, known by me o be money hungry, and living over her means, alwys findng wys to get money somehow, including ff famly,s back, sid attorneys of hers and bro evaluatd at 10,000 the contesting the contestation, saying her two adukt kids were ready to back her up to 25000. Latershe tripped in her lies abd it was backing herfor 10...ermm..15...20..erm "i mean 25,000", adding tat threfir, bro shoukd pay her back 25,000 and me 25,000 bd a nephew oon will who is nit ony nit contesting but decining nheritnce, nt wanting involved in darn feud, 3,00. I went "In other wrds, attorneys ask 10,000 so far, so you want twice 25,000 plus 3 thou, s a total of 53,m000 thst bo and I ND NEPHEW wolul pay you fir a profut on our baxk of...43,000??? N D wgat's nephew ever git t do with ths? helread dclnd heritance of gra grand dad's land, as dd his two siters11 All that because of fear f feuds! ".
And all tgs when she made i clear she was going to curt to defend bro,s rights **and not mine8, frm the start. Thing being bro nhis farm house and is i 3 r 5 acres, no one will let e know:), but would he not want it r not be entitled for soe reasin then mom named me s the one inheriting house nd acres I guess.
But so bro and sis no 1 want to fight for bro to have....s do I if heas to pa bavk the 160,00, which he could on his shar o rest of fam and a mountain oce sold as demmded by mom, profits shadequally among 6 living sibblings ad a sxvrnth share dvided between the thre adut kids of oldest bro who passed away.
Sis no 2 in my opinion and given the way se expressed it, seems furious that mom id not give her more thsn thr others for having takn caeof hr medical file and poinyments. Sheis hurt by it too, and tat part I can understand. But a soe poit she old me se abd sis no 4 would tajke some pay f theur work, where I told her was illegal unless shewas a kw rofssionl to do so. It is even specified in wil, actually.
I also sarted wondring about bro having used 160,000 from mom on top f anoer 100,000 orwas it 135,000 for renovation of the far house. àSis was having bro build 6 reng units n a big house sh bought. Sis kep askig mom for money fo house ad hersl claimng poor. If I borrowed from mom, I gve back ach penny and an prove it with adking my bank t find the check I made mom. Bro DOeS know it was all paid back. I can also show my bank book to pove it.
but sis no 1 had bboroed 10,000 from mom claimng poor..and went n a summer long trip wit her grNDSON GROUGHOUT USA n hotels d so on. Poor m foot. She clamed many times to me she paid mom back, but moe recntly she ws mumbling bits ND OT AKNG LOGCAL SENTNCES WHEN I ASKED LOOKNG HR IN the yes. was somethingg about 4000 se pad on bros hadwar store rdi d shesid, qwhrshe mumbld she askd sis no 2 if that was kay abd countng herSTORISWER also othr mmbld amounts reimbused to br, not mom, in such oddways.
I ow wondered if the 160,000 or part of it at ladt, would not ave been used bt sis no 1, getting bro to accept some payments of sorts, as shepaid him by the hour fir hiswork at her hous buld8ng 6 rebtal unita for her profit..nd making bro think tisor that n her mone6y gaes, promising him some, mabe makng him realize mom would nt always be there and howthe woulhe py bills and taxes on the farm?
whicy would explaIn why se wana to .deFEnd bros rihGts .nd not mIne", i.e. in that hey all agree: th4y want bro not to have it, but also make sur I te can not hfve it eite, wntng to sell it ll to get moe money to divid mongst themslves.
plus I lened frm is no 2 tat the tory behind the 4000 sis no 1 ould havee rimbused "mom" by aying 4000 n one of bros hRDWARE Credit cd was that bro had to dclare bankruptcy...so...bro ould have offerd sis no to add sme f hr bills to the bankryuptvy. hre, sqeze me, but that is a way o thinkig sis no 1 qould have, not bro. she is like a pro finding how to pay ds or make othwrs pay tem fr her...vry trik monywis sh is.
so all this makes me wner if th 160000 wa ot usd to help did no 1 buld her rtal units and her wn home she bouht....on to of what she borrowed fm mom and never reimbused.
Si o 2 topped elping me with errans n o afte se sae I wanted momù,s will to be respecte. To mr, if bro gets house, so be it. I in fcat fnd rdiculou id no 3 an 4 a nting bro to nherit nothing an owe 2650,000 wen he ha nafa...instead of letting him inherit but demnd cout h reimbuses te 160,000 offc nheritance.
Sis no 1 hadd tartedgelping mr desite m aaying NO, aaftr ss no 3 stoppef.
i did not an do not want thei hlp. becaus a clase mom mad sys hat ungil sll eill srttlef an distribute, anone lakin nessities among h children should be seen to and paid all needs for full enjoyment of lif, inlung laiure even.
ghen thihnk boh sis no 2 anf could each or oth aim at prsenting their bills and more han thoe ùi would havee ben helped iwth, to take more from will on fl ret4nse.
ùltly, haf hug frud wth sis no 1 for hr sonstant lie. am allic o lies, makd me bcomr a real ba volcno. d old h to not l to mr...and se did three timd ghat I kow of on top of th 4,000 thing mntioned here and othr lie, but lie directy to me or about me, times in a wk r to. ùthr thitd onr jusst made it strke thre. I neve e myelf TH angry ever. she really had the bukdt. but she shod totl dfespise of me, no respct at all, calo0mnies, tv, hih ùi alwY KNEW HER ABLE OF WHICH WAS EHY I REFUSED HR HELP TO STAT WITH. HN I AE SHE BUILG PITTY TORIEDS OFOR HO HE HELPED ME, DESCRIBING ME HR ONE USING HER...EEW.....
I stoppef all exchange with her.
i am sure she blakrne me resl bad to bro where bro oud asily believe het and not m. urless to even try...o hav not tlkef to bro eie ince. Sis no 4 dd not talk to mr since ad,s will I refusef toontst, in 96-97.
liike h ould not tlk to mom nymore eithe....
she di not even go to the funerlals.
sis no 2 I talk to but avoi all topis elatin to ill since weeks/months.
She mks ommdnts at times abouy mom hich ho shr is still vsry uêt t mom for not hsving givrn he more than thr othes...het attitude and bhaviout mak me see ùi was righ abou he in past....but nevt susêced how she can remove all hr values and principle or a pile of money....thn get th tah and tk back hd valu and principles after, nt vrn teitching or having a conscince glitch...in hat is like dceased bro was....
oddly. if sis no 2 like all sibblings made fun of m sying mom told me once ùi as aunt alic's natural child , did no 2 eic talked to me about Alicee saying things about hr lifr, which she nevr did before, which felt clealy to mr a an attept to mk me eel ùi wad alic's and not mom, erhaps with het aiming t removing m from will. but leally a told her,r no dffren at all. so tough luck on that one.
So...trik and lines and feud...I prfer to slep and rest, ad anyway ccan not fo more tha my bdst to sutvive...
no hlp at all. none frm kmiddo who fou8nd it too had --and it IS haf, sill in his ae, rcelling hundrefs of miles to help me get garbages ou and do roeri an erand....and too ..monry mindd ftom id no 2. sis no 3 id help me in past ib many real occSIONS WAY BEFOE EVRN DAD die. But I aldo hd potte a ttern in het of helping popl h se a they got sik and sik, inhop maybe to inhrit ltet. ùi hought ùi ead ooo bad for thinking o, but lookng at ho she reactef bogh eith mom and fas will, and hoe she alo scte wih snoyhet suny.d will, kpn my prt saying aui ed her fr he visited er and mad her presents, -i did too an nevet on itt cossed my mind uti ùb oef mr anythingù1 In fact I mis aui ùb n moe thsn my aunt who might har bern my nturl mom 9r not, go figure;00
I also now know hy ds no 2 acted as she did thr lat few years...k worrying fo het mntl sttr an mbe her mixing mrfs hst madr he loor bit....snd sct acko. ùbut now puzzl pice gall togeyhet ad I lùned h haf mo, will ssince mom .GOT HOSPITALISEÙ...SHR GOT FUTIOUD T M OM THERFORE HER JALUSY FITS, HR CNTROL ANF REMOVGING MY NAMR AS ONR OF MOM, NAATURAL HLPER ANF MAKI9N IT MPOIBLE OR ME TO VRN SEE MOM fter sd got the eill. mot likrly upet I MIGHNT GRT A HOU AND HR NOTHING MORE..F IN FACT SHE GOT WHAT SHE ASKEF FOÙ; MOMÙ BEDOOM set. anpyhet tory behind tht onr but anywy...she got upset whn ùi eminfet het mom did give he something moreù; he beoom set. shee was lik spittgin ohn it hen...shr wanted more cdrly, ad it conirmed my wonering if she helped thoe she felt sick an icke n hope to ay he hand on some inancial tahnks in their will.....liikr aunti ùbù and mom...and pehaps aimn at me too...
qhst got ne raging maf wityh si no 2 as her trying to talk me into going to an lf flks home .fo not bng bl to tak car o0f myself". There I sw an attempt at trying to ma me pass for tot;;y incompetent o temove me frm testifyijng or from will...tht plus uddrbly plsying gamra a la talking to m about my auntnt posibly nstul mom ehil h alays dned and made me pass f insame to say hat mom told me so when 15.
ayway.
ot will b yars I figure. coud be up to tn years by hich tim half f us will be dead anyay.
o...i mdt proriye oilet pspet ove inscticide and hoe f go to remembet me soon.
each side hinkinh I am o yhe othe' side, i end up again the target o hiton the hf morally. I NED YHST LIKR PIL OF OLD WATET IHN HR FCR ON A OLD WINTER DY. ÙMPFT.
MIGHT DIR OF HUNGET OR TRESS. hart and boy rebellng. but...will atn honrst.
still no dign of mom fom above..but might as qell she sees nonr of this and i jut happy i jhope where she is.
s had her wrngs. kids did not grow up this wy from a akdt jack boc;-ù0. but sh lso0 had supe fatastic stuf about het and enduref o mch, sh deserves paradis, just like dad does, as violent as hee ould be, fr hvibg lve war post truma and never havig been gelpe wa ignoe in those ays.
I know no onr will red this. ùuse from a lifetm of bing ignored so bah. but will maybe help s mmory hrlper later....if ven I can re read my yos. right hand lately gettng number as well at times, if so fsr nt a bad as left ne.
cats and bids doing kay f I wonder how ùi eill feed thrm. but I ko they WILL be fed. vn if itt mans eatin wrines for nother year LOL;0 P NON T ALL;
Tsitswah budguee seems a bit bettert latrly. sems he missed m and did not reconize me ll hat ime ith madk on whrn I took care of them not wnting hrm ick with covid.
bozo the cat fnally seems to have ended hid dsrhhe, if not inding hi the right food again (shorags evywhre) coul men back to i ll.
o would kill o ppr towrl to help clen th messes..and need to get some for that anyway..f it mens less food, as must be done and must th up on hous chore.
need another recall of vovi 19 vaccin and yet so fsrit mak me slep even more...,n m sleep;ing my life away!
Hpe you8t lif is nicer...
ory9ing about dvid and how he is doing oneting hat become of dav..and ou7r ùnflùd frin too....
WIsh thE dude using this ng to ell med would get l,ost.
AQ HE POBABLY WSHES I DO...BUT JNE MORE SO USE TO gang bullying, bah:):)
be wll ll an if some ever one ay re me..please re,e,be me a a goof honst erson, go I will be so to then end, nah.
;
and remember; my email is not workig. secially themedot one.w is seeminly pnly wokng fr auoated mesage a laspam. id a apprl ^rrob, b ut no timr or mon ry to grt in yheit gimmik thing for now yo hvr iy fixed.
later
Letting David know in particular.
Howver, I see today that my post never showed up.
hmm.
Been sleeping my life away...Not sure if pot covid as in long trrm effects, or if due to something else.
ÙÙHad much pin, abdomen, thught reated to stomach or bile duct blockage due to stones aybe, then felt more acute and localised abs erhaps kisney stone(s).
whatvr the ce, could not mve save min, absolute essential to survive for many weeks..so sleep at least -when ain allowed that is, made time ass....
so much to catch up on. too much in fact, and am back to "how on earth to prioritize what??" when ll becomes urgent.
It.s been very very grey all sring -abd winter, except mybe a total of what, 8 days if even so. Rain again ad again....So much humidity, flies multiplied like hell.
Dunno if some building neighbour left fr holidays with a windw opened r broken, but gawd!
Like fruit fies...in fact d some all winter, even big reg flies if ess of thise, wondering howcome they did nt freeze and die outdoors, and thinking mybe the building pusger grew pot n a ton of menure, becase one day, walking out of common corridor, I noticed like 12 big flie, in february, trying to escape outdoors, clngng to the building glass doors leadubg to the exterior prking lot.
It eemed to keep to that, fruit fles and the rare 2-3 vig ones to rid of in winter, but by spring, it became maddening.
In the last days, I noticed a decrease, so I figure whatever the cause, smeone had taken action.
Or was it my homemade tras alone helping the entire dsrn building, I dunno...
Trick I use: snce they seem fr the mini (baby?) ones to hng arund pipes (kitchen sink, washroom bathtub essentially), I take 2 old cups, white inside seems to attract them more, and ut a bit of dishliquid in those then fill them with hot water, which attracts them more than cold. Idea is to make the soap FOAM way over the top of cup, as high as possible.
For some reason, the small onesseem to not see the foamy part, ad land in it and die instantly.
I HATE kiling anything...but gt to be me or them so maddening they were: breathing them in nse, mouth, gettng some in eyes, ears, I thiught I never would see the end of it...Still nt sure I will if decrease is clearly there....
Only saw one just now in pc room, where airco unit figured also attracted them due to its removing humidity from house, and them attracted to any liquid or humidity. NRMALLY would have been fighting with them with both hads teying to get a free hnd to typ, so clearly is better, if been using my dish liquid soap r weeks no-stop.
Also fiund out they hate he smell of peppermith, so I use a drop on index to rub on hair and arms tp be left in darn peace.
Wish I had more peppermint essential oil left, to put some in water in a sray bottle.
The resn I think whoever is responsibe took action is that the few big flies were so so fast, was near impossible to kill them, until last 2-3 days..as if half dead by then, very slow they became, compared to flies on steroid beore. I kid you not, never saw such flies in my life...even tne tiny ones were so so darn fast! eyes many times faster than our usual canadian flies. Theefore I call them "chineese" flies;-). Imported with lord knows what where...or made as if on steroid for the wether allowin them i super multiply...qMD STARVE, BEING TOO MANY, HREFRE SOOO fast nd agressive.
annyin to death!
Every time I walked by siink, I wuld add water to rause foam again and add water again or dishliquid after throwing dead ones out. Lately, even some of the few aduktor regular size fles died in foam. Yay!
Anyway....
I fear chemical sprays due to pets, specially birds...
Plus am on a severe budget again, trying to prioritize between food and stuff to buy, as in "can create flie killing stuff, but nt toilet paper, so...let,s find a home made stuff against flies and buy toilet paper.mpft. that bad it s until civil servants get to my income tax return -hoping accountant gt it rifht this time around -abd my old age monthky check, late almost 2 yrs now...
ùFor now, rent an bills are priority and trying to stretch it for 2 mnths more, f some bills might have to wat 2 mnths whe run ut of pooreconomis left...nt enough fo food.
In the meantime, sibblngs are sxtill doSis 2 nd 4 ing their fight n court agaist this and that in mom's will...so I just ebded up lettin them fight each other since there is no way to be sure one is more honest than he other....Different motvatios, different reasons each have, but none o the being REALLY about rspecting mom's will.
Sis no 2 seems at times to think like me, then gets in total rage saying only "us girls should get anything". I fear she s not realizing maybe wgat ss no 4, whom she named administrator abd who is the one taking will contestation to court, nit reaizing hw the affirmations in sis no 4's court dpcuments are asking bro totally disinherited. Of course he took 160,000 from mom,s account. But allowing him to inherit is share AND askiing the court to order substracted the 160,000 he took could aje sense tome. Sis no 2 then ss tgus s exactky wa "they", i.e. she abd sis no 4 intend to do.ut when I try and tell her or ask her if she even read the dmands made by sis bo 4 to desinherit br totally, she dies nt get it...The ast time, se syed silent a srt moment and aditted se dd nit even read ss no 4's court demabds ab *maybe sge should*.
àIn the meantime, ss no 1 git upset to see sus no 4 was mde admn with sis no 2, while a ublic curatr had suggested after taling to each of us separateky, sis no 3 to help sis no 2. Not ss no 4. Nore, mom had listed 3 names as possibe excotors, first sus no 2, scnd, ss no 1 bd last sus no 3. Never mentioning me or sis no 4 as curator. In my case, I suspect bo there insisted nit me, due to his assaulting me way back and fearng rtaliation. Wrongo but whatever. Mom also knew I wa very sick, so. No prob there w me. But sis no 4 was never listed, probably or her nevr seein mom since dad died and mom inherited from dad, which gt ss no 4 to never speak to mom again...nr to me, as I was the ony girl who refused to contest dad,s will, inding it nirmal he left all to his wife, doh, plus finding my ssters strange in ther motivations to contest dad,s wsill, findun them caring re fir mney han fir mom.
So...Sis no 1 joined w bro to cntest his being desinherited. I replied as asked by Justice that I contested the will contestatio. But if sis no 1 bro ad I seemed aiming atrespecting mom'swill,sis no 1 would chnge sides each x days...and wanted me to pay ther attrneys on will inheritance wch I had made ckear from day 1 I would not do. fact ss no 1, known by me o be money hungry, and living over her means, alwys findng wys to get money somehow, including ff famly,s back, sid attorneys of hers and bro evaluatd at 10,000 the contesting the contestation, saying her two adukt kids were ready to back her up to 25000. Latershe tripped in her lies abd it was backing herfor 10...ermm..15...20..erm "i mean 25,000", adding tat threfir, bro shoukd pay her back 25,000 and me 25,000 bd a nephew oon will who is nit ony nit contesting but decining nheritnce, nt wanting involved in darn feud, 3,00. I went "In other wrds, attorneys ask 10,000 so far, so you want twice 25,000 plus 3 thou, s a total of 53,m000 thst bo and I ND NEPHEW wolul pay you fir a profut on our baxk of...43,000??? N D wgat's nephew ever git t do with ths? helread dclnd heritance of gra grand dad's land, as dd his two siters11 All that because of fear f feuds! ".
And all tgs when she made i clear she was going to curt to defend bro,s rights **and not mine8, frm the start. Thing being bro nhis farm house and is i 3 r 5 acres, no one will let e know:), but would he not want it r not be entitled for soe reasin then mom named me s the one inheriting house nd acres I guess.
But so bro and sis no 1 want to fight for bro to have....s do I if heas to pa bavk the 160,00, which he could on his shar o rest of fam and a mountain oce sold as demmded by mom, profits shadequally among 6 living sibblings ad a sxvrnth share dvided between the thre adut kids of oldest bro who passed away.
Sis no 2 in my opinion and given the way se expressed it, seems furious that mom id not give her more thsn thr others for having takn caeof hr medical file and poinyments. Sheis hurt by it too, and tat part I can understand. But a soe poit she old me se abd sis no 4 would tajke some pay f theur work, where I told her was illegal unless shewas a kw rofssionl to do so. It is even specified in wil, actually.
I also sarted wondring about bro having used 160,000 from mom on top f anoer 100,000 orwas it 135,000 for renovation of the far house. àSis was having bro build 6 reng units n a big house sh bought. Sis kep askig mom for money fo house ad hersl claimng poor. If I borrowed from mom, I gve back ach penny and an prove it with adking my bank t find the check I made mom. Bro DOeS know it was all paid back. I can also show my bank book to pove it.
but sis no 1 had bboroed 10,000 from mom claimng poor..and went n a summer long trip wit her grNDSON GROUGHOUT USA n hotels d so on. Poor m foot. She clamed many times to me she paid mom back, but moe recntly she ws mumbling bits ND OT AKNG LOGCAL SENTNCES WHEN I ASKED LOOKNG HR IN the yes. was somethingg about 4000 se pad on bros hadwar store rdi d shesid, qwhrshe mumbld she askd sis no 2 if that was kay abd countng herSTORISWER also othr mmbld amounts reimbused to br, not mom, in such oddways.
I ow wondered if the 160,000 or part of it at ladt, would not ave been used bt sis no 1, getting bro to accept some payments of sorts, as shepaid him by the hour fir hiswork at her hous buld8ng 6 rebtal unita for her profit..nd making bro think tisor that n her mone6y gaes, promising him some, mabe makng him realize mom would nt always be there and howthe woulhe py bills and taxes on the farm?
whicy would explaIn why se wana to .deFEnd bros rihGts .nd not mIne", i.e. in that hey all agree: th4y want bro not to have it, but also make sur I te can not hfve it eite, wntng to sell it ll to get moe money to divid mongst themslves.
plus I lened frm is no 2 tat the tory behind the 4000 sis no 1 ould havee rimbused "mom" by aying 4000 n one of bros hRDWARE Credit cd was that bro had to dclare bankruptcy...so...bro ould have offerd sis no to add sme f hr bills to the bankryuptvy. hre, sqeze me, but that is a way o thinkig sis no 1 qould have, not bro. she is like a pro finding how to pay ds or make othwrs pay tem fr her...vry trik monywis sh is.
so all this makes me wner if th 160000 wa ot usd to help did no 1 buld her rtal units and her wn home she bouht....on to of what she borrowed fm mom and never reimbused.
Si o 2 topped elping me with errans n o afte se sae I wanted momù,s will to be respecte. To mr, if bro gets house, so be it. I in fcat fnd rdiculou id no 3 an 4 a nting bro to nherit nothing an owe 2650,000 wen he ha nafa...instead of letting him inherit but demnd cout h reimbuses te 160,000 offc nheritance.
Sis no 1 hadd tartedgelping mr desite m aaying NO, aaftr ss no 3 stoppef.
i did not an do not want thei hlp. becaus a clase mom mad sys hat ungil sll eill srttlef an distribute, anone lakin nessities among h children should be seen to and paid all needs for full enjoyment of lif, inlung laiure even.
ghen thihnk boh sis no 2 anf could each or oth aim at prsenting their bills and more han thoe ùi would havee ben helped iwth, to take more from will on fl ret4nse.
ùltly, haf hug frud wth sis no 1 for hr sonstant lie. am allic o lies, makd me bcomr a real ba volcno. d old h to not l to mr...and se did three timd ghat I kow of on top of th 4,000 thing mntioned here and othr lie, but lie directy to me or about me, times in a wk r to. ùthr thitd onr jusst made it strke thre. I neve e myelf TH angry ever. she really had the bukdt. but she shod totl dfespise of me, no respct at all, calo0mnies, tv, hih ùi alwY KNEW HER ABLE OF WHICH WAS EHY I REFUSED HR HELP TO STAT WITH. HN I AE SHE BUILG PITTY TORIEDS OFOR HO HE HELPED ME, DESCRIBING ME HR ONE USING HER...EEW.....
I stoppef all exchange with her.
i am sure she blakrne me resl bad to bro where bro oud asily believe het and not m. urless to even try...o hav not tlkef to bro eie ince. Sis no 4 dd not talk to mr since ad,s will I refusef toontst, in 96-97.
liike h ould not tlk to mom nymore eithe....
she di not even go to the funerlals.
sis no 2 I talk to but avoi all topis elatin to ill since weeks/months.
She mks ommdnts at times abouy mom hich ho shr is still vsry uêt t mom for not hsving givrn he more than thr othes...het attitude and bhaviout mak me see ùi was righ abou he in past....but nevt susêced how she can remove all hr values and principle or a pile of money....thn get th tah and tk back hd valu and principles after, nt vrn teitching or having a conscince glitch...in hat is like dceased bro was....
oddly. if sis no 2 like all sibblings made fun of m sying mom told me once ùi as aunt alic's natural child , did no 2 eic talked to me about Alicee saying things about hr lifr, which she nevr did before, which felt clealy to mr a an attept to mk me eel ùi wad alic's and not mom, erhaps with het aiming t removing m from will. but leally a told her,r no dffren at all. so tough luck on that one.
So...trik and lines and feud...I prfer to slep and rest, ad anyway ccan not fo more tha my bdst to sutvive...
no hlp at all. none frm kmiddo who fou8nd it too had --and it IS haf, sill in his ae, rcelling hundrefs of miles to help me get garbages ou and do roeri an erand....and too ..monry mindd ftom id no 2. sis no 3 id help me in past ib many real occSIONS WAY BEFOE EVRN DAD die. But I aldo hd potte a ttern in het of helping popl h se a they got sik and sik, inhop maybe to inhrit ltet. ùi hought ùi ead ooo bad for thinking o, but lookng at ho she reactef bogh eith mom and fas will, and hoe she alo scte wih snoyhet suny.d will, kpn my prt saying aui ed her fr he visited er and mad her presents, -i did too an nevet on itt cossed my mind uti ùb oef mr anythingù1 In fact I mis aui ùb n moe thsn my aunt who might har bern my nturl mom 9r not, go figure;00
I also now know hy ds no 2 acted as she did thr lat few years...k worrying fo het mntl sttr an mbe her mixing mrfs hst madr he loor bit....snd sct acko. ùbut now puzzl pice gall togeyhet ad I lùned h haf mo, will ssince mom .GOT HOSPITALISEÙ...SHR GOT FUTIOUD T M OM THERFORE HER JALUSY FITS, HR CNTROL ANF REMOVGING MY NAMR AS ONR OF MOM, NAATURAL HLPER ANF MAKI9N IT MPOIBLE OR ME TO VRN SEE MOM fter sd got the eill. mot likrly upet I MIGHNT GRT A HOU AND HR NOTHING MORE..F IN FACT SHE GOT WHAT SHE ASKEF FOÙ; MOMÙ BEDOOM set. anpyhet tory behind tht onr but anywy...she got upset whn ùi eminfet het mom did give he something moreù; he beoom set. shee was lik spittgin ohn it hen...shr wanted more cdrly, ad it conirmed my wonering if she helped thoe she felt sick an icke n hope to ay he hand on some inancial tahnks in their will.....liikr aunti ùbù and mom...and pehaps aimn at me too...
qhst got ne raging maf wityh si no 2 as her trying to talk me into going to an lf flks home .fo not bng bl to tak car o0f myself". There I sw an attempt at trying to ma me pass for tot;;y incompetent o temove me frm testifyijng or from will...tht plus uddrbly plsying gamra a la talking to m about my auntnt posibly nstul mom ehil h alays dned and made me pass f insame to say hat mom told me so when 15.
ayway.
ot will b yars I figure. coud be up to tn years by hich tim half f us will be dead anyay.
o...i mdt proriye oilet pspet ove inscticide and hoe f go to remembet me soon.
each side hinkinh I am o yhe othe' side, i end up again the target o hiton the hf morally. I NED YHST LIKR PIL OF OLD WATET IHN HR FCR ON A OLD WINTER DY. ÙMPFT.
MIGHT DIR OF HUNGET OR TRESS. hart and boy rebellng. but...will atn honrst.
still no dign of mom fom above..but might as qell she sees nonr of this and i jut happy i jhope where she is.
s had her wrngs. kids did not grow up this wy from a akdt jack boc;-ù0. but sh lso0 had supe fatastic stuf about het and enduref o mch, sh deserves paradis, just like dad does, as violent as hee ould be, fr hvibg lve war post truma and never havig been gelpe wa ignoe in those ays.
I know no onr will red this. ùuse from a lifetm of bing ignored so bah. but will maybe help s mmory hrlper later....if ven I can re read my yos. right hand lately gettng number as well at times, if so fsr nt a bad as left ne.
cats and bids doing kay f I wonder how ùi eill feed thrm. but I ko they WILL be fed. vn if itt mans eatin wrines for nother year LOL;0 P NON T ALL;
Tsitswah budguee seems a bit bettert latrly. sems he missed m and did not reconize me ll hat ime ith madk on whrn I took care of them not wnting hrm ick with covid.
bozo the cat fnally seems to have ended hid dsrhhe, if not inding hi the right food again (shorags evywhre) coul men back to i ll.
o would kill o ppr towrl to help clen th messes..and need to get some for that anyway..f it mens less food, as must be done and must th up on hous chore.
need another recall of vovi 19 vaccin and yet so fsrit mak me slep even more...,n m sleep;ing my life away!
Hpe you8t lif is nicer...
ory9ing about dvid and how he is doing oneting hat become of dav..and ou7r ùnflùd frin too....
WIsh thE dude using this ng to ell med would get l,ost.
AQ HE POBABLY WSHES I DO...BUT JNE MORE SO USE TO gang bullying, bah:):)
be wll ll an if some ever one ay re me..please re,e,be me a a goof honst erson, go I will be so to then end, nah.
;
and remember; my email is not workig. secially themedot one.w is seeminly pnly wokng fr auoated mesage a laspam. id a apprl ^rrob, b ut no timr or mon ry to grt in yheit gimmik thing for now yo hvr iy fixed.
later
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