There is this thing that parents do: doat on their offspring, letting this
warp their abandoned sense of a wider kinship with e.g. people (the
bleeders). Unsuddenly it's family, it's all Auntie This and Grandma That and
oh Cousin Behind the Shed it's just a phase. I think that I may be letting
"childfree" get to me in occult ways. I can't hardly be doing with what used
to be Family but I spend all my allotted slow seconds wishing I could be
allowed to meet someone who was even a bit like me in a family resemblance
sorta way. I.e. belonged to the Great Worldwide Bradybunch of people who are
basically clueless. Is that too fuckin' much to ask? I just want to meet
someone who doesn't know everything already! Someone with whom you could
Find Stuff Out Together. Perhaps other people have that when they grow up,
and get over it. Perhaps this is the wrong age to be wantin' to know stuff.
I dunno.
I just am tired of all these bristling Carmelite rifles. They paint you over
with glazed indifference like nail-varnish remover. They are not even joyous
about the damage they do. I duck behind my ramparts, hide and skulk in my
rented flat terrace, keep them at bay, but it's hard to enjoy sandbagging
yourself in when the only enemy is the sea of conforumity, the see! the
sphinctertightening inconscience that makes the green parakeets that beeline
their way around the town seem awake in comparison. See, they're not even
being malicious in wearing that stuff, just ovine. Imagine a whole nuclear
war of strike and counterstrike conducted far in the future when the humans
have all disappeared. Simply, the computers have been left switched on and
the machinery, jolted, whirrs into action. Bang! Well, that's what this war
of lusts is in evolutionary terms. It's just a preprogrammed chess game, no
consciousness left in it, and those who choose to add some in, like as
Arguiñaño his parsley, get "poor show" shusshed at them.
Don't want to go out.
Must.
--
So lately, as the old family scruples start to wear off (family a couple of
countries away, no communication, nothing remotely identifiable as umbilical
left) it gets harder to resist the pull of the Cheap Ticket. The plan is
simple. Save up, fly to Bogotá, then Barrancabermeja, then get (cleanly,
with luck) done in, rolled into a roadside ditch, picked clean over
successive days by the gavilanes. No fuss, no waste, no mess, an
ecologically devout end not exempt of poetry. The somewhat cheaper
alternative would be to head for S_ as per every few years, renew
acquaintance with Mar, bail out of it for a few days (Mar knows how -.
that's why I met her), then finally when money/drugs run out execute,
wearily, the old 2001 plan involving empty building, whisky, beam... Reasons
for not getting round to this are fewer practically by the day these days,
were it not for this distracting stuff about rooftops and peaches and oh I
dunno, someone called Meursault, and the goddess' maddening ambivalence.
It seems a little, well, undignified to be staying alive due to bad
eyesight, inertia and a spotty mirror.
Or a short memory.
Sometimes you think about zoos, and how they seem not to care that a
particular animal is unfit to live in the World Of Today. "Oh, we'll have
that! it looks so sweet in cages..." Whereas no-one is concerned that the
species of e.g. Inappropriately Tired Males in Their 40s is skirting
extinction, perhaps because it isn't and never will be - we're just, like
sperm whales, too far apart ever to actually meet. I keep telling myself
that there are so many redundant copies of me around, sniffing in garbage
bins in Seoul, that I can almost feel their pain from here. To put it
another way, I do NOT have to write my autoerotography.
Chump Chops <fi...@stesubstitute.com> escribió en el mensaje de noticias
iiXAc.50305$S7.4...@twister.auna.com...
> Gotta head to Barcelona
> Arguiñaño [sic] his parsley, get "poor show" shusshed at them.
Yes?
You been sleeping..???
No way: I stayed up praying you'd but out before you reached Depression;-):)
C
--
>Don't want to go out.
>
>Must.
...and how was it then?
> Is that too fuckin' much to ask? I just want to meet
> someone who doesn't know everything already! Someone with > whom you
could
> Find Stuff Out Together.
What a beautiful wish. Never thought of that dimension of
craving ... but as you said it, wham - it was there ;-)
> and get over it. Perhaps this is the wrong age to be
> wantin' to know stuff. I dunno.
Why? Wrong age? It's never the wrong age. What's wrong
with age? Wrong or right - nothing but perceptions.
Age? Mere biology. There's more to life, innit?
Sumi
I didn't go to Barcelona in the end. Rang someone I thought might have
a copy of Cambridge and the tapes. Sorted. *morphs momentarily into
two old ladies* "And thank you for asking" *reverts to ugly
middle-aged nowhere-man* So anyway today it's two loads of washing,
piles of ironing, clean bathroom, guitar practice, finish eating
toblerone and half melon in fridge, investigate why video not working,
and possibly go out for walk along by the quarry this arvo and pick
some convolvulus. Yersel'?
> > Find Stuff Out Together.
>
> What a beautiful wish. Never thought of that dimension of
> craving ... but as you said it, wham - it was there ;-)
>
> > and get over it. Perhaps this is the wrong age to be
> > wantin' to know stuff. I dunno.
>
> Why? Wrong age? It's never the wrong age. What's wrong
> with age? Wrong or right - nothing but perceptions.
> Age? Mere biology. There's more to life, innit?
>
> Sumi
What a charming way of writing you have.
I wish you could come along to work tomorrow and tell my Ecuadorean
Cleaner that thing about age being mere biology. It would sound better
coming from you.
Can't you get yourself chatting a bit with her
and asking her the things in a by-the-way-mode that
you would like to know from her?
Or is it too complicated in a world like yours
to get into some small talk with an Ecuadorean little beauty, and find out
the things you must know, hm?
What can you lose? Nothing. You can't lose what you don't have. You can
only win. Maybe she likes being talked to
in a friendly way. She can't look inside your head and
she can't see the turmoil in there ;-)
So wish you good luck, just make a friendly move,
ask her a few things, get into talking, meohmy,
is that so difficult?
Good luck once again
Sumi
Depression, CA? Is that 24 hours from Tulsa?
CA would definitely be it: more psys there than inhabitants:)
Hm. I wonder if they all smoke...Porbably just after work:)
C
--
There is a bar not far from here given over to a "Peña" (football team
supporters' club). I used to go in there sometimes at lunchtime as
they did quite a good spaghetti. There was a nice-looking barmaid
there. One day when I was paying for my spaghetti I said quite
casually, trying to make it sound like just idle conversation, "do you
work here every day?". She froze in what appeared to be panic. Then
she gave me a very angry look and said "why do you want to know?"
I swore then that I would never again ask anyone a question IRL unless
I could prove, with diagrams if necessary, that the question was
relevant and needful.
I may have nothing to lose from a personal angle, but I don't like the
idea of frightening people or spoiling their day or giving them
nightmares.
Same with that cleaning girl. She might be used to certain
advances, dunno, most pretty girls are, and develop
initial mechanisms of defense. Just be subtle and show
the friendly side, strike up conversation, even if feeling
rejected by whatever bodytalk.
Hehe, if I remember.... I even did not dare look in the direction of the
man I fancied when I was young :-(
I thought it was improper - eek, was I screwed up!
And I thought none of the guys liked me - in fact it
was me myself that was blocking without knowing the mechanisms.
The misinterpretation of facial expression and body talk
is a big obstacle sometimes.
Hm, a concrete experience years ago: I stayed in London at
a friend's friend for a couple of weeks. That guy made
some wonderful breakfast every day, baked bread, etc.
but as soon as I got up he was off for jogging. I always had
breakfast alone because my friend did not get up before noon. That guy was
one of those men I thought would always be beyond reach for me, and so I
guessed he did not like my presence. Years after my stay, my friend told
me he had
told her he fancied me all the time and would have liked
nothing more than be in bed with me. Wham. That was it.
So both of us did not have the faintest idea what was going on in each
other's head and maybe certain department lower down. On the contrary,
both of us thought we were rejected.
Well, I was too young then, anyway ;-) Maybe scared, dunno.
As to this:
> I may have nothing to lose from a personal angle, but I
> don't like the idea of frightening people or spoiling
> their day or giving them nightmares.
Hmmmm, I don't want to be impolite towards you, nevile,
but don't think you are THAT important to people
that a simple question can frighten them or spoil their
day or give them nightmares. You ain't no monster, are you?
So why the hell should you bother people?
Best remedy: During a clear night go outdoors and ramble
under the stars, enjoy the freah air and the wonderful
feeling of being enveloped by darkness, and moreover, the eternal truth
that puts everything back in its little
dimensions: Feel the universe above your head and the endless space
beyond, bring to your mind that each of those glittering spots is a sun
like ours and yet so far .....
feel your own nothingness in this world as the tiny entity
you really are ..... hmm, then you think gratefully: God thanks I'm
unimportant and so are my troubles and sorrows.
Hehe, the other day you dare do things and tell things ...
hmm, all's unimportant, anyway, so you are relaxed as you can be ;-)
Just relax. The stars will tell you how ;-)
Sumi x
Not insulted at all. As you say, it's kind of what you expect.
> It's part of her job to block off guys. On the other hand,
> why shouldn't you have tried to take up small talk. Many guys interpret
> neutral body talk as negative. I guess
> you did not answer her question, did you?
Yes. The rest of the conversation went like this:
"Why do you want to know?"
"Oh... just curiosity...."
(silence)
THe problem then becomes what to say to reach beyond the pause. IOW,
I'm just not very good at small talk, as a creative art. I only ever
really learned to say "nice weather we're having" or "what dreadful
weather we're having," which works in the UK (since that country
actually does have weather) but not in Spain (which only has a
"climate"). You can hardly say "what a Mediterranean climate we're
having".
> Her apparent angriness and freezing is just part of the game, didn't you
> know? If you had gone on conversing
> and given her the feeling it was just friendly interest,
> I bet she would have answered you.
I don't think it was a "game", I think it was meant to convey that
further questions/conversations would NOT be welcome. These are things
you can tell.
That was intentionally exaggerated for comic effect. I don't actually
think I would give anyone nightmares, as such (unless they saw my
feet). I do think it's possible to "bother" people (mildly) with
inappropriate and clumsy attempts at conversation.
>
> Best remedy: During a clear night go outdoors and ramble
> under the stars, enjoy the freah air and the wonderful
> feeling of being enveloped by darkness, and moreover, the eternal truth
> that puts everything back in its little
> dimensions: Feel the universe above your head and the endless space
> beyond, bring to your mind that each of those glittering spots is a sun
> like ours and yet so far .....
> feel your own nothingness in this world as the tiny entity
> you really are ..... hmm, then you think gratefully: God thanks I'm
> unimportant and so are my troubles and sorrows.
> Hehe, the other day you dare do things and tell things ...
> hmm, all's unimportant, anyway, so you are relaxed as you can be ;-)
>
> Just relax. The stars will tell you how ;-)
>
> Sumi x
That's a very nice sentiment.
> "sumire" <sumire_...@nospam.yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message news:<3439b4c218f3710c...@localhost.talkaboutsupport.com>...
>> Hey nevile, your skin is too thin, as we say for
>> people that are so sensitive as you are.
>> That barmaid did not mean it personal - guess why,
>> barmaids usually have to cope with lots of advances.
>> So why should you feel insulted by her being defensive.
>
> Not insulted at all. As you say, it's kind of what you expect.
>
>> It's part of her job to block off guys. On the other hand,
>> why shouldn't you have tried to take up small talk. Many guys interpret
>> neutral body talk as negative. I guess
>> you did not answer her question, did you?
>
> Yes. The rest of the conversation went like this:
>
> "Why do you want to know?"
> "Oh... just curiosity...."
> (silence)
Oh deary deary me! Tsk tsk tsk! What one says is (words to the effect of):
Because such a beautiful young lady as yourself must surely have some
glamourous, secret, /other/ occupation, which us mere mortals can only
dream of, and which must surely (as surely can be!) involve things far
more interesting and exotic than spagehetti!
Well, it works on British waitresses. Maybe the Spanish ones have all had
a humourectomy?
(NB, this is the typical Monster Approach, which while guaranteed to get
a giggle, is also guaranteed to fail to pull...)
> THe problem then becomes what to say to reach beyond the pause. IOW, I'm
> just not very good at small talk, as a creative art. I only ever really
> learned to say "nice weather we're having" or "what dreadful weather
> we're having," which works in the UK (since that country actually does
> have weather) but not in Spain (which only has a "climate"). You can
> hardly say "what a Mediterranean climate we're having".
Yes, and in the UK we only have weather, rather than a climate... As to a
creative art, well, you know, there's impressionism, surrealism,
modernism, post-modernism, realism.. etc etc etc - you seem like a
cultured man, pick your style of creativity for the occasion. In this
adventure you have two stupendous advantages, viz: a) you don't actually
believe you will succeed, hence have nothing to lose, and b) you are
British.
>> Her apparent angriness and freezing is just part of the game, didn't
>> you know? If you had gone on conversing and given her the feeling it
>> was just friendly interest, I bet she would have answered you.
>
> I don't think it was a "game", I think it was meant to convey that
> further questions/conversations would NOT be welcome. These are things
> you can tell.
Yes, but, well, you can... you know, you can... negotiate...
>> Same with that cleaning girl. She might be used to certain advances,
>> dunno, most pretty girls are, and develop initial mechanisms of
>> defense. Just be subtle and show the friendly side, strike up
>> conversation, even if feeling rejected by whatever bodytalk.
>>
>> Hehe, if I remember.... I even did not dare look in the direction of
>> the man I fancied when I was young :-( I thought it was improper - eek,
[snip]
>> them or spoil their day or give them nightmares. You ain't no monster,
>> are you? So why the hell should you bother people?
>
> That was intentionally exaggerated for comic effect. I don't actually
> think I would give anyone nightmares, as such (unless they saw my feet).
> I do think it's possible to "bother" people (mildly) with inappropriate
> and clumsy attempts at conversation.
So, as in usenet, In Real Life do!
>> Best remedy: During a clear night go outdoors and ramble under the
[snip again]
>> Just relax. The stars will tell you how ;-)
>>
>
> That's a very nice sentiment.
And a good useful one :-)
Mosnter
--
I am the sexiest man in the UuuuKaaaayy
All the girls love me
And I will never grow Ooollldd
I am the sexiest man in the UuuKaaaay!
Hm. I agree that this kind of thing, when spoken by a Little Monster,
would be just the ticket. I can't imagine myself saying something like
that. I would probably sound as if I'd just memorised it from a book
called "1001 ways to score with waitresses". Some people just look the
part and others, not, is what I've always thought. I look like a
clumsy, tonguetied idiot, so feel a kind of obligation not to
disappoint people on that score.
> (NB, this is the typical Monster Approach, which while guaranteed to get
> a giggle, is also guaranteed to fail to pull...)
Perhaps you need to ask more direct questions? (Hey, this "giving
advice" thing is easy!)
> > THe problem then becomes what to say to reach beyond the pause. IOW, I'm
> > just not very good at small talk, as a creative art. I only ever really
> > learned to say "nice weather we're having" or "what dreadful weather
> > we're having," which works in the UK (since that country actually does
> > have weather) but not in Spain (which only has a "climate"). You can
> > hardly say "what a Mediterranean climate we're having".
>
> Yes, and in the UK we only have weather, rather than a climate... As to a
> creative art, well, you know, there's impressionism, surrealism,
> modernism, post-modernism, realism.. etc etc etc - you seem like a
> cultured man, pick your style of creativity for the occasion. In this
> adventure you have two stupendous advantages, viz: a) you don't actually
> believe you will succeed, hence have nothing to lose, and b) you are
> British.
And that is an advantage how?
In this country, the only referents most (young) people have for
"British" are (a) football hooligans (cf. Portugal, recently) and (b)
a Northern European people who, along with the Germans, have the
hilarious (sic) habit of wearing sandals with socks on the beach. Oh
yes, and perhaps also (c) lousy food. So "I am British" = "I have no
sense of [dress] style, am a bad loser in sports and can't cook".
That's an a attractive proposition?
> >> Best remedy: During a clear night go outdoors and ramble under the
> [snip again]
> >> Just relax. The stars will tell you how ;-)
> >>
> >
> > That's a very nice sentiment.
>
> And a good useful one :-)
>
Sumire is a poet at heart.
>> > Yes. The rest of the conversation went like this:
>> >
>> > "Why do you want to know?"
>> > "Oh... just curiosity...."
>> > (silence)
>>
>> Oh deary deary me! Tsk tsk tsk! What one says is (words to the effect of):
>>
>> Because such a beautiful young lady as yourself must surely have some
>> glamourous, secret, /other/ occupation, which us mere mortals can only
>> dream of, and which must surely (as surely can be!) involve things far
>> more interesting and exotic than spagehetti!
>>
>> Well, it works on British waitresses. Maybe the Spanish ones have all had
>> a humourectomy?
>
> Hm. I agree that this kind of thing, when spoken by a Little Monster,
> would be just the ticket. I can't imagine myself saying something like
> that. I would probably sound as if I'd just memorised it from a book
> called "1001 ways to score with waitresses". Some people just look the
> part and others, not, is what I've always thought. I look like a
> clumsy, tonguetied idiot, so feel a kind of obligation not to
> disappoint people on that score.
>
>> (NB, this is the typical Monster Approach, which while guaranteed to get
>> a giggle, is also guaranteed to fail to pull...)
>
> Perhaps you need to ask more direct questions? (Hey, this "giving
> advice" thing is easy!)
Umm, find the balance point between my approach and your? That "sweet
spot" - oh it would be sweet too...
Today's cafe conversation went like this:
(Me) How are you today, beautiful Lyn?
(Lyn) (giggle) Oh fine, how are you?
(Me) All the better for seeing your lovely self of course
(Lyn) ?
(Me) Coffee please
(Lyn) That will be [some extortionate amount]. Hope you enjoy it!
(Me) All the more for it's having been made by your fair hand :-)
(Lyn) (giggle)
>> cultured man, pick your style of creativity for the occasion. In this
>> adventure you have two stupendous advantages, viz: a) you don't actually
>> believe you will succeed, hence have nothing to lose, and b) you are
>> British.
>
> And that is an advantage how?
In the archaic sense, the, you can't rob me, I'm British, sense of course!
> In this country, the only referents most (young) people have for
> "British" are (a) football hooligans (cf. Portugal, recently) and (b) a
> Northern European people who, along with the Germans, have the hilarious
> (sic) habit of wearing sandals with socks on the beach. Oh yes, and
> perhaps also (c) lousy food. So "I am British" = "I have no sense of
> [dress] style, am a bad loser in sports and can't cook". That's an a
> attractive proposition?
But you don't have to /tell/ them! Anyway, (I believe) a lot of
foreigners have this quaint romantic notion of Britishness...
>
>> >> Best remedy: During a clear night go outdoors and ramble under the
>> [snip again]
>> >> Just relax. The stars will tell you how ;-)
>> >>
>> >>
>> > That's a very nice sentiment.
>>
>> And a good useful one :-)
>>
>>
> Sumire is a poet at heart.
She is, indeed :-)
Monster