the stoners bible (correction)
th narrator
+++
kylie minogue
"still standing"
come on windows
you can do better than that
+++
just got back from th girl's bike shop
"bicycle shop"
thank you jennifer
got a knobbie for th 24 inch unicycle
just waitin for th fuckin weather to coopereate
fuckin hot ok
summer is here
time for some drugs
+++
"gotta straighten th nephews wheel tonight"
i aint doin it in th heat
gotta strip th rubber off it
+++
got some nice sidewall
lugs
th concrete dividers are lookin vaguely less threatening
where are those fuckin drugs s?
+++
"the land surfer lives"
+++
snow white petroleum jelly
"ok i'll be quiet"
+++
lo-tel
"teenager of the year"
sorry th sound's on th blink
ya get that
+++
"cheap format"
+++
beta
+++
little brother
got a dog collar
for tallow
one of those
aniti barking collars
had a few complaints
she's a noisy bitch
ok she's a big black noisy bitch
was readin th pamphlet
not once
does it say
we shock th fuckin dog with electricity
they call it a
correction
come here mate
i just wanna apply a little correction
if it aint cruel for dogs
it aint cruel for politicians
am i right or what ?
+++
tell me th truth ya cunt
apply th correction
should of bought him a ballgag for xmas
+++
alright santa
i'm only gunna ask this one more time
where's my fuckin bike ?
right give him another one
+++
shut up
or i'll attach it to yur nipples ya wet prick
+++
"give it to th wet prick"
now now jennifer
+++
"girls like to hurt boys, it's fun"
+++
red hot chilli peppers
"higher ground"
+++
flexibility is up
"i'll say"
quiet you
+++
i dont remember that bein in front of my nose before
"doin yur party trick for th xmas party ?"
pends how out of it i get
+++
i'll have sidewalls again
+++
reminds me
i need a shave
+++
kylie minogue
"obsession"
+++
are you on high rotation kylie ?
+++
"<<< smile >>>"
dont touch that
+++
"i wasnt goin to"
"dont know where it's been"
+++
personally
i prefer a girl
who's just come out of a
lesbian relationship
they taste better
well for a little while
+++
"yummie"
+++
the stoners bible frequently gets things wrong
wouldnt it rip ya ?
+++
pass th fuckin bong
+++
ya marryin that thing man ?
+++
i've already given a unicycle away this xmas
and i already bought these folks
one
what am i gunna bring xmas day ?
+++
golden earring
"Radar love"
+++
do it to me baby
+++
and chrissies birthday drinkies
on th 27th
i'm about booked out
+++
"kuta lady would dig radar love"
+++
car's still runnin good
found another fuckin vacuum leak
turn off th motor
leave th fan on
in th face
and it was defaultin to
demist
hmmm
i got a vacuum leak
+++
"shoulda tapped jane's head"
yeah alright ya crass little bugger
holdin all her guts up is it ?
"massive vacuum"
+++
"hey wiz"
fuck off
+++
tomorrow is th one year anniversary
of jane throwin me in th street
we bag her tomorrow ok
+++
"and i said she had a back that looked like"
"nicole kidman's"
"jeez"
+++
"she did have radar love"
i know lots of fuckin witches ok
+++
"we goin to th edge of th island ?"
patience little one
+++
"ok big one"
+++
get out of morticia's mind will ya ?
+++
ac dc
"girls got rhythm"
+++
aint arguin
+++
jump up and down morticia
+++
used my guitar as a drum in yesterdays jam
+++
got a big fat basey sound
hit it hard
+++
pre paid drugs
+++
lend money to your drug dealer
+++
so fine
+++
be all mine
hey
has th hash landed ?
+++
"i ordered it off my sexy drug dealer"
kuta
+++
as long as i tell her husband
that he's pretty too
i'm pretty safe
+++
i'm th wrong sex
+++
garbage
"queer"
+++
joshie and i
like to play with our homosexuality
which fucks th girls off
why not
you;re all doin it
+++
will i ride
in th fortitude valley this week
and have a gay guy
root th pole im leanin
on
i dunno
***
last one
was out there enough
+++
can i have a pass out now ?
+++
i was just ridin around
flyin on my unicycle
not my fault it makes nice abs
+++
ah hi mate
+++
you;re a bad boy
+++
im gunna hang off this pole
"such a girl"
+++
i was on a wheel
freaked me out
was stoned outta my gourd
+++
"fuckin cyborg"
ya become one with th wheel
"i know who i wanna become one with"
+++
she has to pick up th unicycle first
doesnt she ?
+++
"land surfer dude, how th fuck are ya ?"
good man
"i'm a girl"
big clitoris
sorry
+++
radiohead
"Creep"
+++
"As long as it gets wet"
"who fuckin cares ?"
+++
you're in a mood
"had a good night"
+++
i prefer th acapella version
"typical singer"
+++
if i find another vacuum leak i'm gunna go spare
"ok wiz"
behave falcon
or i'll smack ya
and we might see jennifer over xmas
i'll let her walk on yur bonnet again
i kept one off th wreck
+++
fuckhead
he put th bicycle lock
back on th two bicycle choppers
like i'd just go for a ride
on one of th girls bikes
markie and i
will have a go
at puttin th ute sides
on th back of th trandem (goodies bike)
and finish th conversion (utility solo)
maybe take it for a ride
past th xmas lights
bugger th front brakes
+++
at least it's a cool girls bike
+++
love buyin rubber for my unicycle
"better than buyin rubber for th dick"
let's not go there
+++
my second wife
loved frontin sex shops
tryin to buy rubber to fit it
elizabeth hannan
yeah
+++
"bitch"
+++
got her rocks off
+++
so sue me
they dont how to look after my body
what incarceration ?
and maybe
ya get a whack out of my pension
fuck i'm scared
+++
U2
"new years day"
+++
no ya fuckin wont
ya bitch
+++
do re mi
"man overboard"
+++
bye
+++
thanks windows
very dry
+++
whoops
+++
hey libby
i had two girlfriends
at th beginning of th year
bit after
round there
and they both thought i was fuckin karen too
that is
cum down fuck me later eyes
funny thing was
they knew about each other
and i was fully honest
about who i'm screwin
+++
"morticia wasnt though "
"fuck everything that moves"
"or push it"
she's calmed down a bit
they all do
+++
"didnt go down well with jane"
shoulda worn rubber
+++
"i offered"
+++
"i found a place"
+++
nirvana
"where did you sleep last night ?"
+++
"nowhere"
+++
ah good
+++
"i can suck my own dick"
"who cares ?"
+++
(correction)
"yow"
+++
i can hear a shower calling me
fuck it's hot
sorry
hope th snow's treatin ya nice
like i fuckin care
.
.
.
wiz
+++
p.s.
what th fuck are you doin down there ?
+++
regurgitator
"blubber boy" riding th wave of fashion
+++
fuck that
+++
why are ya still standin ?
get on th fuckin bed and do as yur told
.
.
.
.
.
.
"sorry wiz"
"i was just stretchin..."