Sex lives of herpes sufferers
Gene Gunn
are dating someone who is infected with the genital herpes virus.
My ex-girlfriend and I are considering getting back together. While we were
apart she became infected with HSV-2. I am curious about how couples work
around the problem of one partner being infected and the other not.
Obviously condom usage and other standard precautions are necessary but I'm
wondering how others have dealt with the idea of possibly becoming infected
and still having sex.
I have gathered quite a bit of information about the disease and have heard
estimates of becoming infected during non-outbreak period is around 1:100.
Does this sound about right?
Any information would be helpful. Thank you in advance.
MARYGMARY
medications.
Love,
Mary
><HTML><PRE>Subject: Sex lives of herpes sufferers
>From: "Gene Gunn" <gg...@tampabay.rr.com>
>Date: Sun, 12 September 1999 09:17 PM EDT
>Message-id: <6hYC3.5690$lU4....@newse2.tampabay.rr.com>
></PRE></HTML>
RAIA06
>apart she became infected with HSV-2.
I was just wondering how you reacted when she told you that she had this. I am
about to go through the same situation and would like to know your reaction. I
realize that everyone is different but I would like to hear your situation.
thanks
miguel ferrer
Right now in there is a vaccine under test for people in your situation, only 1
infected, being the female a little harder to detect when she is having an
outbreak, the use of
condom is mandatory.
regards
M
> I have a question for those of you who are suffering from this disease or
> are dating someone who is infected with the genital herpes virus.
>
> My ex-girlfriend and I are considering getting back together. While we were
karen
statistics to judge the chance of your contracting HSV. Even if it was 1 in
100, you just may be the 1!
Since there is no way to tell if there is asymptomatic shedding going on the
best thing to do is to always consider the person contagious and act
accordingly.
Suppression may be a route for you to consider.
K
ENG3432
>>apart she became infected with HSV-2.
Just wanted to share my experience. I'm infected and my partner is not. We
have been together for two years now, and as far as we know he hasn't become
infected. Yes, my having herpes occasionally causes interference in our sex
life, but it isn't anything that is overly bothersome. If I'm having an
outbreak, we don't have sex. I'm on suppressive therapy, so I very rarely have
an outbreak. I'm having one now actually, but its been 8months since my last
one. We are careful most of the time. By that I mean he wears a condom. But
I wouldn't be honest if I said he wore one all of the time. He does wash after
sex, as I've heard this can help keep one from becoming infected should there
be active virus on the skin.
So, it is possible to have a sexual relationship with someone who is infected
and not become infected yourself. You have to be careful and realize that
there is a risk involved. However, you must also considered that there is a
risk involved any time you partake in sex. You may be having sex with someone
who is infected and not know it, yadda, yadda, yadda. There are no absolutes.
But that's life! If you have any other questions feel free to ask.
Jennifer :-)
Cynthia F.
out there know?
Besides, if it's in research, it'll take ages before it filters down to
the open market.
Don't hold your breath.
Cynthia
miguel ferrer wrote:
>
> Right now in there is a vaccine under test for people in your situation, only 1
> infected, being the female a little harder to detect when she is having an
> outbreak, the use of
> condom is mandatory.
> regards
> M
>
> > I have a question for those of you who are suffering from this disease or
> > are dating someone who is infected with the genital herpes virus.
> >
> > My ex-girlfriend and I are considering getting back together. While we were
DaveyBoy
Has to do with either anti-body introduction, mutant HSV virus (cannot
replicate), or "dead" virus parts....
Cynthia F. <jelman...@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message
news:37DD59E4...@worldnet.att.net...
GUYonphone
<gg...@tampabay.rr.com> writes:
>My ex-girlfriend and I are considering getting back together. While we were
>apart she became infected with HSV-2. I am curious about how couples work
>around the problem of one partner being infected and the other not.
>Obviously condom usage and other standard precautions are necessary but I'm
>wondering how others have dealt with the idea of possibly becoming infected
>and still having sex.
>
Well, I hate to be a wet blanket...but have YOU been tested? Without a blood
test it's impossible for you to know if you're one of the over 2/3rds of herpes
infected folk that don't know they're infected. So, before you do ANYTHING
about whether to *risk it* or not, find out if it's even a risk. You COULD
already have genital herpes (yeah, yeah, I know...you don't have herpes because
you've never had symptoms...but see, very few of the infected folks that don't
know HAVE had symptoms--that's why they don't know. Seriously! So, get a
herpes blood test pronto).
>I have gathered quite a bit of information about the disease and have heard
>estimates of becoming infected during non-outbreak period is around 1:100.
>Does this sound about right?
>
For guys who are uninfected and are intimate with an infected female partner
the "chances" are around 5% a year of getting infected. That's a figure I read
on http://www.viridae.com for a couple that abstains during known outbreaks and
uses condoms the rest of the time (the "chances" are higher if the guy has
herpes and the female doesn't). Your "chances" of exposure would logically
decrease (and so the "chances" of getting a transfer would be less than the
above percentage) if the infected partner is on suppression therapy and
maintains the level of dosage as is recommended--due to the fact that fewer
known outbreaks and less asymptomatic shedding would be occuring(but I don't
think that's been backed up by studies yet). However, if you happen to be
unlucky, it only takes one time at the wrong time--and you need to accept that
fully. The 5 out of 100 that can get it while still being careful will get it
100%. Follow?
>Any information would be helpful. Thank you in advance.
When you get right down to it, there are many worse things than genital
herpes--being without someone you love because of herpes, IMHO, is one of them.
Hang in there
-G
Marla
can you have a long lasting future with this person. Yes you can get
herpes with her having a outbreak or not, so you have to decide if you
love her enough to deal with it without making her feel bad when you do
get it, just decide you will accept her herpes and all because now
herpes is a part of her life and she has to deal with it and if you want
to get laid so do you. So is it all about getting laid wear a condom,
but if it is about love who cares. You will develop immunities to it
and the outbreaks lessen in severity the longer you have it. It is bad
but it is worse for her. I admire her for telling you up front she
sounds like a nice woman well worth a once a year break out to me.
Yoshi2Me
condom is not 100% effective and that it doesn't cover the entire genital area.
So, even with a condom there is still a small chance that he could get herpes.
MHO,
Yosh
>Subject: Re: Sex lives of herpes sufferers
>From: Marla rai...@flash.net
>Date: Wed, 15 September 1999 04:10 PM EDT
>Message-id: <37DFC4...@flash.net>
We are, each of us, angels with one wing, and
we can only fly by embracing one another.
Lucian de Crescenzo
karen
herpes.<
Ha, even with a condom sleeping with me would be a big chance!!!! Depends
on the location, right?
K
TPA
you realize that if you feel the need to be so helpful you can address some
of these responses to the poster privately dont you.... i know you have the
answer to all questions, and in some sense are the oracle of delphi for the
group.......but man o man, you are to much
have you ever considered that when you answer every single question you see
you fatigue the sense others may have to try to help thereby making the
group more universal and helpful?
please consider this as i am sure you are trying to be helpful..but you are
being a boor dear...and yes i know there are about 4 or 5 other lil hens in
here that will cluck to your side
just MHO
ps...don you wish i had replied to you privately?
:)
MARYGMARY <mary...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:19990922214710...@ng-fi1.aol.com...
> Hi Karen,
> I wanted to add that even with the depending on the location thing it can
> change locations anytime at all and just because the dight of eruption is
in
> one place also does not mean that you could not be shedding from another
some
> other time. It travels through the nerve paths and can occur anywhere in
the
> "boxer short area". I have had what I think to be outbreaks in three
different
> areas. Two I knew were herpes and one I wasn't totally sure of. They
> consisted of the Labia, the vagina, and the perianal
area.........so.........
>
> Love,
> Mary
>
> >Subject: Re: Sex lives of herpes sufferers
> >From: "karen" 10242...@compuserve.com
> >Date: Fri, 17 September 1999 02:01 PM EDT
> >Message-id: <7rtvh3$k9v$1...@ssauraab-i-1.production.compuserve.com>
MARYGMARY
MARYGMARY
here with MHO at the end of the thread Canvassing opinions. Some Docs are
right on the top of my shit list in life. I had one sew my gland for
lubrication inside of me after my episiotomy with my son and tell me it was no
big deal till I had emergency surgery for it three years ago and went all those
years withought it not knowing what they had done and had pain with sex.......
Would this be in retaliation for MHO? Not that I give a rat's tail.
Love,
Mary
MARYGMARY
why you are such a horses petute. This wouldn't be one of the people who left
because everyone was tired of their trouble making and now they are back with a
new name would it????????
There are plenty of other people here who respond to many many posts and I am
grateful to have them around to learn from.
The Oracle of Delphi? At least I don't behave like an Orifice. You sound like
a woman hating bottom dweller to call the people here who try to help lil hens.
I don't give a shit if you write to me privately or openly you don't bother
me. You don't even have the balls to use a name TPA.
Did my reinforcing what Karen had to say and adding to it bother you somehow as
I see you cut and pasted it?
I have many people from the group that write to me privately, some that
dickheads like you drove off who still need support, but who are afraid to put
themselves in the way off such viciousness, or who have been attacked the way
you are attacking me, but I prefer to write on the group to newbies openly and
not privately so that if my information should be inaccurate it can be
corrected and all opinions can be open for discussion...so......does TPA stand
for take part asshole or shut up? I wish you would. You don't even know me.
You are right I feel a need to help and as to why I think It should be obvious
but maybe not to someone like you who I have never seen any help here from at
all. I got plenty here and this place helped make me feel like I could still
have a normal life with Herpes and if I can share that at all I try. Besides I
LIKE IT! I get a real laugh sometimes like now....you made me a celebrity. I
get to see my name at the top of a post------hahahaha
You can keep changing your Isp too if you want but I am pretty sure I know who
this is so why don't you curl up with your slovenly self and clean your
apartment and stop worrying about me?
Love,
mary
M.L.S.
>you realize that if you feel the need to be so helpful you can address some
>of these responses to the poster privately dont you.... i know you have the
>answer to all questions, and in some sense are the oracle of delphi for the
>group.......but man o man, you are to much
>have you ever considered that when you answer every single question you see
>you fatigue the sense others may have to try to help thereby making the
>group more universal and helpful?
>please consider this as i am sure you are trying to be helpful..but you are
>being a boor dear...and yes i know there are about 4 or 5 other lil hens in
>here that will cluck to your side
>just MHO
If you don't like it, pal, you can ignore her posts, can't you? That
isn't beyond you, is it?
Mary? Pay no attention to these idiots. Keep on postin'. K?
LOL(ove)
Mike
M.L.S.
On Wed, 22 Sep 1999 21:39:20 -0500, "TPA" <t...@innocent.com> wrote:
>you are a friggin nut woman
And that makes you . . . what? Jealous of Mary's ability to knock out
more than one post at a time? Her willingness to take the time (on
one of her rare days off) to lend support to others (the support I
KNOW is soundly and roundly appreciated)? She hasn't posted for over
a week, so what's your problem with her trying to catch up? If she
had posted a few posts a day over that week it would have amounted to
more posts than you see today. Would that have been a problem for
you, too?
>you realize that if you feel the need to be so helpful you can address some
>of these responses to the poster privately dont you.... i know you have the
>answer to all questions, and in some sense are the oracle of delphi for the
>group.......but man o man, you are too much
If only you knew how many people Mary DOES answer via email. As far
as her posts here, this is a public forum and she can respond to as
many or as few posts publicly as she sees fit. You don't seem to have
a problem with the contents of her posts, or else I'd see you arguing
her on the merits. So, it's pretty obvious you must be a slow reader
or something, or don't have the mental agility to skip over that which
irks you.
>have you ever considered that when you answer every single question you see
>you fatigue the sense others may have to try to help thereby making the
>group more universal and helpful?
So your own empathy is fatigued by someone else being helpful? Sounds
like you are the one with the problem.
>please consider this as i am sure you are trying to be helpful..but you are
>being a boor dear...and yes i know there are about 4 or 5 other lil hens in
>here that will cluck to your side
Then killfile her. And anyone else whose support offends your shallow
sensibilities. Sounds to me like you are reading the wrong group, so,
if you don't like Mary and the other "lil hens" why don't you just
unsubscribe altogether. I dare say you won't be missed.
>just MHO
Which you should have kept to yourself.
>ps...don you wish i had replied to you privately?
Don't you wish you had counted to ten and then found a thread that you
could respond to with some herpes related content and/or support?
In other words, fuck off.
Mike
Yoshi2Me
It was too quiet and peaceful for too long...this was bound to happen as
someone so put it nicely for us *before*.
Quite frankly....you haven't posted in a while and I was starting to worry
about you. Oh well ... same ol peeps continue to pick on the ones that are
helpful to others yet they have nothing supportive to say about anybody or
anything.
Just ignore it.
=)
Yosh
Yoshi2Me
nicely put there Mike!
=)
Yosh
PS ignore them.... They will dig there own little hole..... they can't be happy
unless they are stirring the !@#$ up eh?
:::sigh:::
rhys
info that "might" be of use to others not actually posting, but lurking
here. you have jumped on the back of one of these(you are not "responding"
to any question) and are using it as an avenue of attack. the whole point of
this newsgroup is to reach out to as many people as possible, even the ones
you don't know are reading here.
Stuff your opinion back in your shorts and try to be of some help here as
well OK??
rhys
TPA <t...@innocent.com> wrote in message
news:upgG3.4307$QJ.2...@typ11.nn.bcandid.com...
> you are a friggin nut woman
>
some
> of these responses to the poster privately dont you.... i know you have
the
> answer to all questions, and in some sense are the oracle of delphi for
the
>
> have you ever considered that when you answer every single question you
see
> you fatigue the sense others may have to try to help thereby making the
> group more universal and helpful?
>
are
> being a boor dear...and yes i know there are about 4 or 5 other lil hens
in
> here that will cluck to your side
>
>
> ps...don you wish i had replied to you privately?
>
karen
ignore the person and they'll get bored and go home!
K
GUYonphone
You keep at 'em! Don't pay no nevermind to someone who posts only deranged
babble and yet never helps anyone here. We know where YOU'RE comin' from...and
we know where this twerp is comin from. All the people who need support from
this board would much rather hear from you.
Hang in there
-G
MARYGMARY
Thanks Guy and all.
Love,
Mary
>Subject: Re: MARYGMARY, why ya buggin' ?
>From: guyon...@aol.com (GUYonphone)
>Date: Fri, 24 September 1999 12:25 AM EDT
>Message-id: <19990924002536...@ngol08.aol.com>
PASTEL22
I suggest you always use a condom. Once you get it you think about it all of
the time unless you are busy working or something. Don take any chances.
It can be a living hell a walking nightmare if your relationship does not work.
MARYGMARY
I think that this is a very personal choice. There are a whole lot of us that
it is not a living hell for. As a matter of fact Herpes is VERY managable for
most people. There are the exceptions to this but with time most people find
even harsh symptoms to be lessened. I almost never think about it although I
participate a lot in this group It almost never crosses my mind throughout the
day that I have it, of course with the acceptions of the infrequent outbreaks
that I have had...then I fel it and think about it when my jeans crunch the
wrong way. I think that if someone is not very new to Herpes and still finds
that they are obsessed with having it then they should consider self
examination of their opinions of themselves and the stigmas attached to this
thing. Possibly even therapy if they still can't get a handle on it. It is
just a virus. I am sorry if you are having problems dealing with the whole
thing but you can find much support here and on other groups if you keep coming
back to help you learn to deal with it.
Love,
Mary
><HTML><PRE>Subject: Re: Sex lives of herpes sufferers
>From: past...@aol.com (PASTEL22)
>Date: Sat, 25 September 1999 06:40 AM EDT
>Message-id: <19990925064054...@ng-ff1.aol.com>
></PRE></HTML>
M.L.S.
<snips>
>i dont mean to stifle MARYGMARY (completely), but i have worked in a
>professional group help situation before and any time one person becomes a
>"prominent" voice, it deprives other from the sense thay they may have
>something to contribute.......it tends toward clanishness. I think 90% of
>the stuff she says would be better said in private, and i think if you think
>about what this NG is here for honestly, you and some of the others would as
>well
I, on the other hand, like the "prominence" (and I'm not so sure that
that is what it is) of Mary's voice. Not only is she helpful,
informative, and supportive, but she sets an example for the rest of
us in how to be helpful, informative, and supportive. And if she is
prominent, she is no way dominant and she eschews clannishness. She
welcomes any and all for corrections, amplifications, additions,
commiserations, etc. And most of all, she immeasurably enjoys posting
here. She likes helping people. She likes the feedback she gets (for
the most part.) She likes getting to know people and has made many
close friends here. Hers is a kind, calm, often humorous voice, and
if anything, she posts too irregularly and not often enough.
>so since this is a universal forum, i suggest that it have the feeling of
>more varible contributers and less single source.
I believe that more lurkers have found the strength to post here
BECAUSE of Mary's example than there are posters who refrain from
posting because Mary has covered all the bases. For one thing, Mary
doesn't cover all the bases. She frequently asks more questions than
she answers. She's still learning about the H, still assessing what
it means in her own life, still drawing support from this group, and
trying to offer the same in return.
It is up to other posters to chime in and expand the variety of
contributions. Stifling Mary or anyone else is no guarantee that new
posters will appear. The way this group seems to work is that people
show up feeling distraught, read a while, absorb as much information
as they need, figure out it's not the end of the world eventually, and
then proceed onward with their lives. There are only a handful of
people here that have been through all that and still hang around
trying to be helpful and supportive. All of them are valuable
contributors in their own right, each adding his or her own brand of
info and support.
>raggin me isnt going to make this any better of a place. letting everyone
>feel like they're sharing their experience and hope is............
So, like, go for it.
Mike
MARYGMARY
Where are all your constructive posts to the newbies here who are scared. I
personally don't like you focusing your b.s. on me I am far from the focus of
this group. There are plenty of others who post regularly here for years and I
have seen them attacked too. I didn't really understand that kind of hatred
directed at one person or another before. When I first came here I thought that
the person must be doing something really wrong. Now I see that it is the true
cakling hens that do almost nothing that are really doing it and want to be the
center of attention but aren'
t capable of doing it by truly helping. They have to be "it" or nothing but
mean and troublemakers. I honestly believe that these posts are coming from the
same people with different names....They are even trying to recruite privately
to different groups away from here....how sick is this shit? I watched them
beat the crap out of Yoshi over and over for nothing. And I even rushed to
their defense because I saw them as my saviors when my life was falling
apart(so I thought at the time). What has she done but actually DO something
and not just talk about it??????????????? I do not want to become the next
focuson of this group. It is bullshit. We are not here for that I am here
because I like it and because I have little in my life outside of work and my
family. Most people I know party a lot or work a lot and so when the day ends
or I have free time I come here to try to add something.....what the
fuck....focus on the newbies if you care so much about the quality of the
group. When I see a post I look at the question, then read the responses. If I
think that I can add info that has been left out I do. If it is well said I say
well said or just go on. None of us can write a book to each question and we
can all add a new angle or some factor that may have been left out like don't
forget not to touch your eyes. Some things are news to me and I try to get
informed about them so I can pass the knowledge on or use it for myself. I
skip posts that are well answered and some are so poetically so that anything I
would say would be lame......There are times I read something and say out loud
even...where's guy? and there he is, or where's Yoshi, and there she is....or
different people who have different areas of being able to help. I just know
they can say the right thing and there they are. There are newer members that
I have said where are they they will know the answer to this one...like our new
Denavir who is great, or old faithful uk med member, everyone has something to
add and I certainly couldn't take that away from them if I tried all day and
night. I just try to give a little warmth and compasion and bit of info my
small mind has gathered and maybe be able to tell someone I can empathize or
relate. Who the fuck am I??? Nobody. I just try when truthfully I should be
working all night and day every day and night. This is one of my only breaks
from that. If you are trying to hurt me for some strange reason it is
working...o.k. I hope you are happy. I will not go away though so you are
wasting your time. I know who I am and I have been through worse in my life
then you could ever say or do to sway me. I feel like I have found a little way
in my life to help people, something I have always wanted to be able to do. I
have always wanted my life to mean something and I always thought the only
thing that was ever important was helping others and Herpes has led me to
something I can do in some little way that is at my fingertips every night no
matter how small it is or how unappreciated by you in between trying to survive
and make a living.....so I'm sorry if you want to hate me. I don't even know
you and yet you judge me
Book Report by Mary
><HTML><PRE>Subject: Re: MARYGMARY, why ya buggin' ?
>From: "TPA" <t...@innocent.com>
>Date: Sun, 26 September 1999 01:55 PM EDT
>Message-id: <A6tH3.162$J66....@typ11.nn.bcandid.com>
>
>i am not babbling
>
>i am serious, i respond to any number of ppl privately. and i have posted to
>the group as a whole in the past
>
>where i am coming from? what does that mean?
>
>i dont mean to stifle MARYGMARY (completely), but i have worked in a
>professional group help situation before and any time one person becomes a
>"prominent" voice, it deprives other from the sense thay they may have
>something to contribute.......it tends toward clanishness. I think 90% of
>the stuff she says would be better said in private, and i think if you think
>about what this NG is here for honestly, you and some of the others would as
>well
>
>so since this is a universal forum, i suggest that it have the feeling of
>more varible contributers and less single source
>
>raggin me isnt going to make this any better of a place. letting everyone
>feel like their sharing thier experience and hope is............
>
>
>GUYonphone <guyon...@aol.com> wrote in message
>news:19990924002536...@ngol08.aol.com...
>> Hey Mary!
>>
>> You keep at 'em! Don't pay no nevermind to someone who posts only
>deranged
>> babble and yet never helps anyone here. We know where YOU'RE comin'
>from...and
>> we know where this twerp is comin from. All the people who need support
>from
>> this board would much rather hear from you.
>>
>> Hang in there
>> -G
>
>
></PRE></HTML>
Yoshi2Me
have to insist that sometimes it's better to say it and get it off your chest
than never to have said it at all!! It's the same people that keep complaining
over and over yet do not post to help others in any way shape or form. There
is no excuse. "I" wouldn't even be considered a good enough excuse not to post
in the goal of helping others. We have gone over and over about posts that are
off topic. Everybody has a choice. You don't like the post just let it go....
Or block the thread completely. E-mail is not always going to be a place to
talk about stuff whether it's off topic or on topic and quite frankly...I think
it helps for others to hear about the every day stuff that goes on so that they
can think that there are some people out there that are going through the same
types of things ... things that don't always have to do with herpes.
Remember, herpes isn't what makes us who we are...and what we go through isn't
always going to be about herpes. But...what draws people together is the fact
that we do have herpes and can discuss things that are either on topic or off
topic. Nobody is going to be able to please everybody. That's not what this
is all about ... so just let it go.
I never really understood any of the hatred that goes on. I don't understand
why there is so much hatred towards me.... I mean...really ... what in the heck
have I done here? Not a damn thing! Why? It's just a support group. We ALL
speak our minds and we are ALL here for support and understanding. ALL of us
whether you still post here or you don't post here any more. I mean it's
really pretty sad when people have to resort to "warning" others or making sure
that they don't talk to me because I am the BIG BAD Yoshi ... and then when
people do talk to me or respond to my posts or just whatever they have to be so
NASTY just because that person was nice to me. Why can't we all be nice to
each other? Why does this always have to go deeper and deeper to more hatred?
People claim that I am such a flame thrower....... I can't throw flames if
people can't catch them. Besides..... I can't throw anything worth a crap
anyway!
I could understand if I could hit a bulls eye or two ... but this crap towards
me is ridiculous. I couldn't hurt a fly and I certainly care about almost
everybody out there that could use the extra help or the extra ear to listen
to.
I do have a way with how I express myself and I will continue to do whatever
possible to try and HELP people when they need it ... that was something that I
didn't get when I was diagnosed with herpes. So, why waste so much bad energy
on hating me?
I believe that the posts are coming from people that would choose to live
negatively....I think somebody once said that people that caused trouble would
disappear because they wouldn't have anybody to fight with any more.... I have
seen this happen. Why can't we just all get along? Why? Because it might be
too easy I guess...who the hell knows.
Mary, I'm sick of the crap too.
Now it's you being picked apart and for absolutely NOTHING. Just like with me
earlier this month. It seems that it's people that have herpes that are trying
to help others are the ones that are being picked apart over and over and for
absolutely nothing. It's pretty sad.
I read the posts that I want to and I skip over the posts that I want to.
There is too much stubbornness going on and believe you me...I have tried on
more than one occasion to understand this hatred towards me and I have tried on
more than one occasion to try and come to an impasse at least with the people
in question but they would rather be hateful.
So...I quit trying. I would rather concentrate on people that are nice and
helpful anyway.
As Mary said.... "Who The HELL am I that YOU have to be so NASTY to me and FOR
WHAT?"
I come here every day when I can just about to talk to folks that have been
diagnosed with herpes or are affected in some way by this disease. I also come
here to be friends with others that have herpes too. It's nice.
You wouldn't believe how many people that don't have herpes but are with
somebody that does that have asked to speak with DS so that they could talk
about things related....... and all because I decided to share a little bit of
my personal life with folks out there so that they could see that a life
outside of having herpes is possible.
What the heck is wrong with that?
NOTHING.
I am not going anywhere so if you want to throw your sticks and your stones
keep throwing because I am here to stay and I don't care how nasty YOU GUYS
want to be with me. It's your choice and you know who you are...
Bitterness does not become anyone so maybe you could find it in your heart to
let go and just get on with it...
I'm sorry to Mary that they HATE me so much. It's a good thing nobody can see
what I look like eh?
I'm done.
Take Care,
Yosh
Free Your Mind.... Don't Be So Shallow..
MARYGMARY
Besides you are purdy. If they saw your pic they would just hate you
more...who's they anyway??? The peckerheads of the world? Their relatives were
in my shop today....lol
Love,
Mary
><HTML><PRE>Subject: Re: MARYGMARY, why ya buggin' ?
>From: yosh...@aol.com (Yoshi2Me)
>Date: Sun, 26 September 1999 11:09 PM EDT
>Message-id: <19990926230931...@ng-fa1.aol.com>
></PRE></HTML>
Yoshi2Me
{{{{{Mary}}}}}
What comes around goes around anyway..... I still believe in all that even
though it can be a nasty world out there...
Yosh
>Subject: Re: MARYGMARY, why ya buggin' ?
>From: mary...@aol.com (MARYGMARY)
>Date: Mon, 27 September 1999 04:30 AM EDT
>Message-id: <19990927043056...@ng-ft1.aol.com>
>
>Who gives a rat's ass?? Eh, Yosh?
>
>Besides you are purdy. If they saw your pic they would just hate you
>more...who's they anyway??? The peckerheads of the world? Their relatives
>were
>in my shop today....lol
>
>Love,
>Mary
karen
K
AJ
It's not fun - use a condom 100% of the time. Fuck.
Gene Gunn <gg...@tampabay.rr.com> wrote in message
news:6hYC3.5690$lU4....@newse2.tampabay.rr.com...
> I have a question for those of you who are suffering from this disease or
> are dating someone who is infected with the genital herpes virus.
>
> My ex-girlfriend and I are considering getting back together. While we
were
> apart she became infected with HSV-2. I am curious about how couples work
> around the problem of one partner being infected and the other not.
> Obviously condom usage and other standard precautions are necessary but
I'm
> wondering how others have dealt with the idea of possibly becoming
infected
> and still having sex.
>
> I have gathered quite a bit of information about the disease and have
heard
> estimates of becoming infected during non-outbreak period is around 1:100.
> Does this sound about right?
>
GUYonphone
writes:
>Well, that's what I thought too - and I just got it this morning, buddy.
>It's not fun - use a condom 100% of the time.
<snip>
Yeah, right. Maybe diagnosed this morning, or had your first outbreak this
morning, but you didn't get it this morning--or you wouldn't know you have it
yet.
And condoms aren't 100% safe when discussing ANY STD.
Hang in there
-G
MARYGMARY
>> Does this sound about right?
>>
I don't know of any estimates of non-outbreak tomes. Where are you getting
this info? Have you any documented sights? The averages I have heard are ten
percent per year and for men it is broken down to five percent per year
contagion rate. NOt one......
Love,
Mary
Puddin
>percent per year and for men it is broken down to five percent per year
This is for asymptomatic shedding right? If so, that averages out to be for
women 3.65 days of the year, and for men 1/2 of that. If you look at it that
way, it doesn't sound like much, but it doesn't come in intervals like days.
That means an hour here, 10 min. there, all adding up to be about 3.65 days per
year. I wish I could just pick my days! Okay let's see, no, not Valentine's
Day, not New Year's either, maybe Easter weekend, cause the family's all
around, and it seems kinda like sacrilidge to have sex during a religious
holiday! ROFLMAO!
Anyone picked their days?
Nan
DJCT61254
> I hope the excellent post of others will help you in your decision of how to
> tell. To me the most important thing is to be at ease with HSV yourself. As
> for me, I no longer think it is the BIG deal that I did when I first found out
> about it.
Great post ! I too became freaked out about herpes when I first found
out I had it. And with knowledge and support and time, I have come to
view herpes as just another of lifes nuisances. Finally!!
Deb
--
Posted via Talkway - http://www.talkway.com
Exchange ideas on practically anything (tm).
MARYGMARY
I'm not sure if you clipped that from something that I wrote but I believe that
that average is for contraction rates and I hate to say that although 3.6 days
sounds a lot better, that ten per cent per year would come out to 36.5 days, so
you would have to take off a lot more Holidays and even Make some up. How
about Martin Luther King day, or VD Day(valentines day)LOL.
Love Mary and Mike
>Subject: Re: Sex lives of herpes sufferers
>From: nhutc...@aol.com (Puddin)
>Date: Thu, 21 October 1999 12:57 AM EDT
>Message-id: <19991021005732...@ng-fe1.aol.com>
Puddin
>sounds a lot better, that ten per cent per year would come out to 36.5 days,
Oops....sorry! I seem to have misplaced my trusty calculator, and I didn't
have enough fingers and toes to count on! :) LOL Thanks for setting that
straight!
>VD Day(valentines day)LOL.
>
VD Day! I guess that's a really special days for us herpites! ROFLMAO!
Nan
eden
herpes. Any help about how to tell or reactions to expect
would be great. This guy is actually a doctor (well, in
his residency) but I figure that his reaction can be either
understanding and non-judgemental, or quite the exact
opposite. I have this whole little script in my head of
what I am going to say, but I keep worrying that I will
forget everything because I get too nervous.
* Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find releated Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping. Smart is Beautiful
GUYonphone
<lharris...@downer.com.invalid> writes:
>ALong with RAIA06, I too am about to tell someone about my
>herpes. Any help about how to tell or reactions to expect
>would be great. This guy is actually a doctor (well, in
>his residency) but I figure that his reaction can be either
>understanding and non-judgemental, or quite the exact
>opposite. I have this whole little script in my head of
>what I am going to say, but I keep worrying that I will
>forget everything because I get too nervous.
>
Good luck! When you look back on this one memory about 20 to 30 years from
now, you'll appreciate the effect it's outcome had on your life's journey.
Sometimes, going into it, we don't understand how things will shape up for us
in the future. But if we just do the best we can with what we've got we
usually continue to grow and prosper. Deep, eh?
Hang in there
-G
KRa1954785
Wow! I am in the same exact situation as you! I have herpes and have been
dating a resident now for about 4 months..I have procrastinated that
long..although we have not had sex yet...What to say is sooooooooo
difficult..I have practiced some many scenarios in my head..i don't think
what to say is the problem for me..I am having a problem of when to say
it...in the beginning of the nite, in the car, during dinner...such
decisions...the fact that he is a resident and i am a nurse worries me that
he will be judgmental..but then again, if he does, he does not really care
for me anyway...so we must move on...we must be confident!
MARYGMARY
I went through this too about how to tell and then I just found that I was
blurting it out non-chelantly when the guy tried something with me. I just
said I might love to but can't because I have Herpes and went on to explain it.
The persons being told said they didn't mind. I have since found someone who
also has HSV so it is a non-issue but I very much liked what Guy had to say.
Some of the things that happened in my life that seemed like the end of the
wold to me at the time were in retrospect the very best things that could have
ever happened to me but I could never have realized that at the time only years
later. I would just get it over and get it out of the way and let the chips
fall where they may. Whatever happens is bound to be for the best in the
longrun. I wish you both the best. When I first was diagnosed I went out and
got so drunk I barely knew my own name and was with someone and didn't say till
later as he didn't take no for an answer and it still drives me nuts that I
allowed this to happen even in that state. Just don't let that happen to you
it's not worth it. Any pain and shame you may fel about telling is mostly self
created and can't compare to the feelings you may feel if you don't or if you
allow this person to leave your life withought knowing how they would respond.
I have some regrets in my life but I would not want letting the love of my life
slip away to be one of them. Just tell in the best way you know how. I have
found reactions to be nothing like I built them up to be in my head but just
the opposite.
Love,
Mary
>Subject: Re: Sex lives of herpes sufferers
>From: kra19...@aol.com (KRa1954785)
>Date: Wed, 27 October 1999 04:51 PM EDT
>Message-id: <19991027165127...@ng-da1.aol.com>
Amelie925
tell. To me the most important thing is to be at ease with HSV yourself. As
for me, I no longer think it is the BIG deal that I did when I first found out
serious than HSV1 (cold sores) although society in the US views it as a stigma
attached to us. So, your attitude will probably be conveyed to him.
A few weeks ago someone from Europe was posting here. She couldn't understand
why those of us in the US think it is such as big thing since it isn't viewed
as such there. She thinks it is because we view every little thing as a big
crisis because of our media. Apparently, no one in the US thought much about
it until Time magazine devoted an entire issue to it along with a scary cover.
karen
herpes when I was diagnosed (my partner at the time had it) so it wasn't
much of a big deal for me...I actually told the dr. that's what I had and he
confirmed for me.
I have only had to tell once since then, and I did so in a conversation that
had nothing to do with the possibility of the person and I having sex....he
is an old friend and he was talking about his sexcapades in the past and I
asked him if he wasn't afraid of catching something...he said he always used
a condom....led to the "condoms don't always protect against herpes...you
could possibly have it...I do." We had a short conversation, with me
informing him of the nature of hsv and I offered him some websites but he
wasn't interested. I took that to mean no chance of us rekindling the old
fire, but a week later he proposed to me.
In this day and age EVERYONE has to have the STD talk...maybe just say that
you feel you are at the point where you should discuss that and then start
by asking about him....you never know what HE will say...then you can tell
about yourself. To me, putting things off makes it even more difficult
because I have more time to invent awful scenarios in my head!
The others are right, it is not a big a deal as society would have us
believe, and you need to feel that way...to be comfortable with it before
you discuss, because if you seem upset it will make it seem so much worse.
Good Luck!
K