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Change of heart
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Aimee Harms
Sep 7, 1998, 3:00:00 AM9/7/98
to
I do not know if anyone remembers me?? I have been not keeping up 2
date with ASED for awhile. I needed a break from it because I found it
somewhat depressing for me. I slowly been recovering from bulimia and
anorexia. I was an all american runner and I was tired of not using my
lalent. It is like having a BMW and not driving it. I had to fuel my
body and tune it up. I started to think of food as my friend instead of
my foe. It medicates my body. Every bite of food I intake I think of how
it is going to make me stronger and help all my organs function. I was
severely anorexic...thinking than the thinner u r the faster u
go....that is what my h.s. coach used to always say.. I was near death
several times...paramedics knew me. I have gained 15 pounds since and
started up the running again.Currently training for a marathon. I eat
what I burn and more. I always think when I run...:"HOW THE HELL COULD I
HAVE WASTED 10 YEARS OF MY PRECIOUS LIFE??" Well...I am trying to put
that behing me and being thankful for each day of recovery...some days
are harder than others. I think of this eating disorder as something
that made me a stronger person...I learned alot about my self during my
self destructive days. I have truned to a positive drug noe...eating
right and running...gives me a high...and I am learning to love myself
again. Listen ASED....I have been a real stubborn shit through my whole
Ed thingy. Running marathons seems like a breeze to me than getting rid
of an ED! But I tell you what...I am going to beat this excrutiating ED
to the finish line!! I know you all can recover!!! PLEASE THINK HARD
AND GET BACK ON THE RIGHT TRACK. LIFE WILL BE SO MUCH EASIER..TRUST
ME!!! IT MAY SEEM IMPOSSIBLE NOW...BUT YOUR THINKING WILL CHANGE..DO NOT
THINK NEGATIVE..POSITIVE THINKING DOES WONDERS!
date with ASED for awhile. I needed a break from it because I found it
somewhat depressing for me. I slowly been recovering from bulimia and
anorexia. I was an all american runner and I was tired of not using my
lalent. It is like having a BMW and not driving it. I had to fuel my
body and tune it up. I started to think of food as my friend instead of
my foe. It medicates my body. Every bite of food I intake I think of how
it is going to make me stronger and help all my organs function. I was
severely anorexic...thinking than the thinner u r the faster u
go....that is what my h.s. coach used to always say.. I was near death
several times...paramedics knew me. I have gained 15 pounds since and
started up the running again.Currently training for a marathon. I eat
what I burn and more. I always think when I run...:"HOW THE HELL COULD I
HAVE WASTED 10 YEARS OF MY PRECIOUS LIFE??" Well...I am trying to put
that behing me and being thankful for each day of recovery...some days
are harder than others. I think of this eating disorder as something
that made me a stronger person...I learned alot about my self during my
self destructive days. I have truned to a positive drug noe...eating
right and running...gives me a high...and I am learning to love myself
again. Listen ASED....I have been a real stubborn shit through my whole
Ed thingy. Running marathons seems like a breeze to me than getting rid
of an ED! But I tell you what...I am going to beat this excrutiating ED
to the finish line!! I know you all can recover!!! PLEASE THINK HARD
AND GET BACK ON THE RIGHT TRACK. LIFE WILL BE SO MUCH EASIER..TRUST
ME!!! IT MAY SEEM IMPOSSIBLE NOW...BUT YOUR THINKING WILL CHANGE..DO NOT
THINK NEGATIVE..POSITIVE THINKING DOES WONDERS!
HAPPY HUGS!
Aimee :o)
Karenn1973
Sep 7, 1998, 3:00:00 AM9/7/98
to
Aimee... I remember you, I think you were still here when I started posting
(for the second time around) ANYWAY... I think it is SO wonderful that you
were able to turn your negative ED into a positive! That's great. I think the
key to a lot of us is thinking that food is not our enemy, but medicine, just
as you have. I struggle with it everyday, but when I was recovering the first
time, I found this to be helpful. In fact, I put a little placecard in front of
my chair at the dinner table that said "Food is Medicine"... "Food is Fuel".
Just that little saying helped me a lot. NOW... different story. I need more
than a placecard! Oh well.. I think it's wonderful that you have started to
find peace within your ED AND that you posted such a wonderful positive post to
ASED! Good for you!
(for the second time around) ANYWAY... I think it is SO wonderful that you
were able to turn your negative ED into a positive! That's great. I think the
key to a lot of us is thinking that food is not our enemy, but medicine, just
as you have. I struggle with it everyday, but when I was recovering the first
time, I found this to be helpful. In fact, I put a little placecard in front of
my chair at the dinner table that said "Food is Medicine"... "Food is Fuel".
Just that little saying helped me a lot. NOW... different story. I need more
than a placecard! Oh well.. I think it's wonderful that you have started to
find peace within your ED AND that you posted such a wonderful positive post to
ASED! Good for you!
Take care.
Karen
Rnrchres
Sep 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM9/8/98
to
Hi aimee,
it is interesting that your post showed up at the time it did. I just
finished an excellent article ( alittle bit too general though) in the october
1998 edition of Running Times. The article was titled " Running on Empty" by
steven downes. It is funny how you used the example of the BMW, because the
article shows a picture of a cars gas gauge. RoE was basically about the
growing number of competitive runners who have anorexia and/or bulimia. It
stated the misconception that runners have that the less you weigh the faster
you can run. Of course if one is using her muscle as fuel than she wo'nt be
very fast for very long.
I too am a competitive runner (long distance) and am training for my first
marathon ( dec 6th, the california international marathon). I have ednos or
what is now being coined anorexia athletica. I am a compulisve exerciser and
fall into the problem of over training. I now realize this has been only
detrimental to my advancement in the sport ( had it not been for injuries
caused by excessive strain on the body, I would have run my first marathon
almost two yearas ago). I am wondering if you saw your performance level as
directly proportional to your weight loss or gain? In my own experience, my
performance fallows a bell curve. If I am at the normal weight my performance
is at its peak and if I get either to heavy or too frail my times start to
increase. I also think in the running community that eds can be easily hidden
since being ultra thin is acceptable and can always be attributed to the sport
and not a disorder? what do you think?
It is good to hear you are keeping with the positive mindset throughout your
recovery. Do you mind if I ask what made you stop your ed thoughts and
behaviour or at least made them less a threat? DId therapy help? Also how do
you confront the isuue of continuing to run while in recovery as it is in
itself a ed trigger ( at least for me and I also know Lara is dealing with this
problem right now as well). Keep up the good work
your running pal,
chrisitne
it is interesting that your post showed up at the time it did. I just
finished an excellent article ( alittle bit too general though) in the october
1998 edition of Running Times. The article was titled " Running on Empty" by
steven downes. It is funny how you used the example of the BMW, because the
article shows a picture of a cars gas gauge. RoE was basically about the
growing number of competitive runners who have anorexia and/or bulimia. It
stated the misconception that runners have that the less you weigh the faster
you can run. Of course if one is using her muscle as fuel than she wo'nt be
very fast for very long.
I too am a competitive runner (long distance) and am training for my first
marathon ( dec 6th, the california international marathon). I have ednos or
what is now being coined anorexia athletica. I am a compulisve exerciser and
fall into the problem of over training. I now realize this has been only
detrimental to my advancement in the sport ( had it not been for injuries
caused by excessive strain on the body, I would have run my first marathon
almost two yearas ago). I am wondering if you saw your performance level as
directly proportional to your weight loss or gain? In my own experience, my
performance fallows a bell curve. If I am at the normal weight my performance
is at its peak and if I get either to heavy or too frail my times start to
increase. I also think in the running community that eds can be easily hidden
since being ultra thin is acceptable and can always be attributed to the sport
and not a disorder? what do you think?
It is good to hear you are keeping with the positive mindset throughout your
recovery. Do you mind if I ask what made you stop your ed thoughts and
behaviour or at least made them less a threat? DId therapy help? Also how do
you confront the isuue of continuing to run while in recovery as it is in
itself a ed trigger ( at least for me and I also know Lara is dealing with this
problem right now as well). Keep up the good work
your running pal,
chrisitne
Bryan Gusdal
Sep 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM9/8/98
to
In article <35F3E765...@erols.com>, Aimee Harms <ai...@erols.com> wrote:
Hi Aimee,
Nice to hear from you again!! Wow, what a change of heart - that's
so good to hear - that you have been able to get a different (and
healthier) perspective on things, and are using that stubborn side of
yourself to your advantage. Impressive stuff!
Take care,
Bryan
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