AOL and Second Wives Club
stef...@pa2.microserve.com
I agree with Jean in regards to the Second Wives Club on AOL--very rarely
are financials discussed in this area and most of the problems discussed
here are about vindictive wives not following their visitation
obligations. For example, last week was visitation week. My s.o. arrived
to pick up the youngest child and she wasn't there. On a hunch, he went
to the babysitter's house and ran into mom arriving there, ready to take
the child to a class with her without notifying the father in advance. We
are documenting each of these items in preparation for our modification
of custody case and we have a folder jammed packed full of instances like
this. The Second Wives Club shares tips and techniques for dealing with
these problems both emotionally, rationally and legally. Stephanie
-------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
Boatinlady
Thank you very much for your support.
I'm a 2nd wife, but also a first wife. Most of the 2nd wives and I are
not the mean dragons we are made out to be!!!!
We are normal people, in love with a man who's been married before.
Sometimes the first wife doesn't want the divorce. Soooo,
she will be vindictive to the end, and use her children to hurt their
father.
We, as 2nd wives discuss everything. From Child support to visitation to
going to court with our new husband. We try to be supportive of our
husbands and their ex-wives. Sometimes the ex makes that impossible.
The reason for Sapper's post in the first place was because he told one of
the 2nd wives that if she were checking into his financial situation, she
would soon be an ex-wife. Most of us 2nd wives responded to his post by
telling him that he wouldn't be a husband in the first place.
He apparently didn't like our posts, and sent us nasty e-mails. He also
signed some of us up on Mailing Lists. He has been reported to his online
server. I do hope he reads this post. I hope he realizes that none of us
meant anything personal by what we posted!!!! We just didn't understand
his need to keep everything secret. If you marry someone don't you think
it's your right to know everything about what you may be getting into?????
The 2nd Wives board on AOL is closing today. It's because of people who
do things to us that have happened recently. I do hope that Sapper and
everyone else that posted against us, realizes that we are people too. We
are just trying to cope!!!!!
Boatinlady
sapper6
> this. The Second Wives Club shares tips and techniques for dealing with
> these problems both emotionally, rationally and legally. Stephanie
>
> -------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
> http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
>
Stephanie, I don't think you have read the Second Wives lately, as
recently they are just about the most bitter people I know. Thier most
recent series of rants had to do with the accountability of Child Support
Payments. They actually expected the First Wife to list and account for
all the money sent each month.
This plus the attempts by them to totally demonize the first wife shows
that they have a serious problem, one of not being able to deal with the
first wife. The though of getting used goods is apparently too much for
them. The reason the goods are used are always the first wifes fault. One
woman actually is trying to help her Husband who has been accused of child
molestation get full custody of the children. I am not saying he did it.
I am saying that it bear's some looking into. Perhaps he is indeed
innocent, as he has not been convicted. However, I don't think I would
help that person get full custody untill I knew for sure. Also I certainly
would not have any kids with them.
Of course that is just my opinion. I could be wrong.
Garrish850
Geez Sapper,
I've been reading posts in this folder for ages, most second wives are
thrilled to be in their current marriage, regardless of the difficulties
and expsenses that may have come as a major surprise to them. It is not
at all uncommon that an ex who was previously ok to deal with changes in
the extreme when her ex marries again. I've met some very understanding,
supportive women on this board and will miss their encouragement and
insight.
Just want to thank everyone who offered tips, support and understanding in
a very difficult situation.
It is my personal theory that Snake aka Sapper is a bitter first wife
infiltrator who set out to ruin a good thing - whatcha think everyone?
Stephen Lajoie
sapper6 <sap...@snakebite.com> wrote in article
<01bc9c55$6626bfe0$5776d9ce@patrickj>...
>
> > this. The Second Wives Club shares tips and techniques for dealing
with
> > these problems both emotionally, rationally and legally. Stephanie
> >
> > -------------------==== Posted via Deja News
====-----------------------
> > http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
> >
>
> Stephanie, I don't think you have read the Second Wives lately, as
> recently they are just about the most bitter people I know. Thier most
> recent series of rants had to do with the accountability of Child
Support
> Payments. They actually expected the First Wife to list and account for
> all the money sent each month.
In some states, the person receiving the child support has to
account for it. If I received child support, I'd have to account
for it. It's a legal thing. States differ. Expecting people to
follow the law doesn't make one a "bitter" person.
> This plus the attempts by them to totally demonize the first wife shows
> that they have a serious problem, one of not being able to deal with the
> first wife.
Well, that friction tends to exist for various reasons. A "second wife"
not being able to "deal with the first wife" is not, in and of itself,
a personality problem.
> The though of getting used goods is apparently too much for
> them.
I once new a woman who, when going from boyfriend one to
boyfriend two, was called by a third party as "used goods"
and was quite irate about it. It is pretty offensive to
refer to people as "used goods", isn't it?
> The reason the goods are used are always the first wifes fault. One
> woman actually is trying to help her Husband who has been accused of
child
> molestation get full custody of the children. I am not saying he did
it.
> I am saying that it bear's some looking into.
The ol' guilt by accusation game. Guilty until proven innocent.
Maybe in France, but not in most English speaking countries.
> Perhaps he is indeed
> innocent, as he has not been convicted. However, I don't think I would
> help that person get full custody untill I knew for sure. Also I
certainly
> would not have any kids with them.
>
> Of course that is just my opinion. I could be wrong.
ROTFL!
Stephen Lajoie
Garrish850 <garri...@aol.com> wrote in article
<19970729214...@ladder02.news.aol.com>...
[snip]
> It is my personal theory that Snake aka Sapper is a bitter first wife
> infiltrator who set out to ruin a good thing - whatcha think everyone?
I think threads about people and not people's situations is not
very productive.
Steelmind
sapper6 <sap...@snakebite.com> wrote:
>>Thier most recent series of rants had to do with the accountability of
Child
>>Support Payments. They actually expected the First Wife to list and
account for
> >all the money sent each month.
"Stephen Lajoie" <laj...@eskimo.nospam.com> writes:
>In some states, the person receiving the child support has to
>account for it. If I received child support, I'd have to account
>for it. It's a legal thing. States differ. Expecting people to
>follow the law doesn't make one a "bitter" person.
I use Quicken Deluxe on my computer and have categories for child support
and medical payments that the fathers reimburse to me. That way, if there
is any question about when or if a payment was made, with a push of a
button I can print a report. I don't believe it's something I have to do
because of a legality, it just saves a lot of headaches. Don't see
anything offensive about that.
Barbara
Boatinlady
Lajoie,
It was stated..........
>[snip]
>
>> It is my personal theory that Snake aka Sapper is a bitter first wife
infiltrator who set out to ruin a good thing - whatcha think everyone?
You answered.........
>I think threads about people and not people's situations is not
>very productive.
I can agree to a point. Name calling and generally being nasty is not the
way to get first wives and second wives to get along. I am a first wife
and 2nd wife. I understand the frustration of being on both sides of the
fence!!!!!!
What I DO NOT agree with is that Sapper/Snake/Patrick or whatever he/she
calls themselves seems to be bitter against the 2nd wives board on AOL.
If Sapper is not a 2nd wife, why was he/she so intent on slamming every
one of us. To the point of signing me up to two different mail lists!!!
I have the e-mails to prove that Sapper is getting exactly what he/she
deserves. Nothing more. If you would like............I'd be glad to
forward one to you so you can judge this person for yourself.
Please do not be hasty in your judgement of the 2nd wife untill you know
the reason behind the post from Garrish850. She, along with many others,
has received nasty e-mails, etc., etc.
I'm not going to go into detail here. All I can say is that WE, as second
wives, are not the bitches that Sapper tells everyone we are!!!!!!!! BUT
we are also not going to stand for harrassment of any type by
anyone!!!!!!!!
Boatinlady