Nov 21, 2017, 9:45:34 AM11/21/17
It's amazing how something as simple as preparing a holiday meal can be easily ruined by a passing thought of my disgusting exwife.
Here I was, minding my own business. I pulled the turkey out of the sink, where is had been thawing for quite some time.
I placed it on the counter top and began the task of cooking up some stuffing.
After the stuffing was ready, I placed it on the counter next to the waiting turkey.
There I was, faced with a predicament which had bestowed me many years before.
I stood there with a large spoonful of stuffing. As I carefully began spooning in the breadish treat, I was immediately reminded of my ex.
A gash this size, I had only seen once before.
After completely filing the birdly beast, I was overwhelmed by the similarity this unfeathered creature had taken to my long gone but not unmeddling exwife. The lumps and texture were so much like the nightmares of the past.
I couldn't help myself.
I dropped my trousers, pulled out my chick.
I had to know for sure.
Was this bird that much like my ex?
As I took several smooth strokes, unable to touch the sides, I realized, YES, this is EXACTLY what my ex was like.
Quickly, I yanked up my slacks and ran to the closet.
Out I pulled my trusty 357 and my golf clubs.
I beat the stuffing out of that turkey, shot it twice and went on to enjoy my thanksgiving knowing that in my own special way, I had just gotten a little piece of revenge from my greedy CUNT EX.
I hope you have lots of leftovers. I do.