Categories of Women You Will Find Online
Tom Elliot
http://home.comcast.net/~modonahue/matchcom/
Categories Of Women You Will Find On-Line:Your Guide to the Unavailable
and/or Undesirable.
Let me ask you guys a difficult question: if you could approach any
woman you wanted to approach in public, would you have even wasted a
single minute or dollar to contact any of the women you met through
match.com? Girls whom you would never approach in a bar, club, coffee
house, bookstore, mall, grocery store, museum, etc., but comprise
99.9999% of the girls on line, and somehow you end up across the table
from them on a lunch or coffee date, thanks to Match.com, Eharmony,
Yahoo, et al. All of these on-line dating sites are nothing more than
clearance bins for crappy women. Read ‘em and weep.
The Fat Chick
Do I need here explain? "A few extra pounds", if "a few" means anywhere
from 20-70, that’s "a few extra pounds" in the on-line world.
Interestingly, many of them describe themselves as "curvy" despite the
fact there are no clear boundaries between their chest, gut and ass. In
my old neighborhood we called these girls "loafs" because they were
thick, soft, curveless and white like a loaf of bread.
The Super-Fat Chick
"Huggable" or "Heavyset". Bottom line is that they are so big that they
are a health hazard to themselves. Emotionally and physically, you are
better off dating a heroin addict, and the latter probably has a better
chance at living to see 40.
The Anorexic Chick
They describe themselves as "slender", but when you meet them you see
that their cheeks are sunk in and their clothes hang on their body. Much
less common than fat or super-fat, but still, they’re out there with
deceptive pictures just like their fat and super-fat colleagues.
The Angry Divorcee
Are you her lousy cheating no-good husband who ran off with his
secretary? No, you sure aren’t, but don’t let that stop her from
displacing all of her anger from his misdeeds onto you. Run for your
life from this one, with your balls protected.
The Bankrupt Gold Digger
She’s pulling 25k as an administrative assistant or 35k as a
schoolteacher, but don’t let that stop her from wholeheartedly expecting
that she be paired with a corporate lawyer who makes 150k. Who else but
a six-fig exec is qualified to quench her outrageous college and credit
card debts, which are many and ever expanding. She’s declared bankruptcy
at least once, but goes to the most expensive health club in town in
order to meet rich men. Certainly you don’t expect her to take
responsibility and stop spending, do you? No, she’s firmly convinced
that for some odd reason she "is entitled" to the good life, on your tab
of course.
The Nobody’s-Good-Enough-For-Me Girl
She’s been on Match.com for at least a year and can’t find anyone "good
enough". She is in love with a fantasy; she’s stuck in junior high.
Hopefully you are not good enough for her to choose you to waste your
time and money for an evening.
The Too Busy Girl
She’s working 60-80 hours a week and/or getting her MA or PHD after work
and somehow can’t find a man. Wow, imagine that! One woman from match
who was working full time and just started a PhD (no, it was not in the
profile) told me on our first (and only) meeting: "It’s not going to
work if you’re the needy type". I guess that, to her, "needy" means that
you "need" to see her more than once a week for two hours. To their
credit, most "too busy" girls hint about their schedules in their profile.
The Emotionally Unavailable Damaged Goods Girl
It may have been her parents’ ugly divorce, maybe it was her dad’s
abusive alcoholism, maybe it was because Uncle Henry inappropriately
touched her while she was age 10 to age 13. Maybe it was some sort of
combination of these scenarios. Maybe it was none of the above, but God
knows it was something that screwed her up. Either way, she hasn’t even
begun to deal with her deep-seated crap like a mature, responsible
adult. So just your putting your arms around her is enough to push any
amount of buttons, and all of those buttons are ‘OFF’ buttons. Outside
of the on-line world, these women are often perfectly paired with closet
gays who find it convenient to be with a woman who is not
"touchy-feely", "mushy" or "overly affectionate".
The "I’m Gorgeous" (No, You’re NOT) Girl
She thinks she’s too hot for anyone she’s met thus far. Yeah, only
problem is she’s average. Nothing wrong with average, and confidence is
good, just as long as you don’t think you’re gorgeous when you’re average.
The Good Ol’ Fashioned Bitch
Angry, axe-wielding, acid-bearing, bent on vengeance, passive aggressive
and demanding…you better run, you better hide. Run man, run!!!
The Seeking Safe Shelter Girl Type 1
She’s dated abusive "alpha male" types for so long that she wants a man
who is safe, predictable, controllable, and docile and hopefully, will
give her a comfortable living. She will grow bored and go into
adrenaline withdrawal from the ‘nice-guy’s’ lack of abuse (which is
excitement in her sick world), eventually resenting then dumping the
financially well-seated nice guy.
The Seeking Safe Shelter Girl Type 2
Divorced, suburban, with bills, kids, bills and kids. Little to no time
for dating and can’t go away on roadtrips or vacations because of little
league, soccer, Awana, scouts, tutoring, karate, dogs, cats, ballet,
PTA, swim lessons, church board, etc etc etc. She’s looking for a knight
in shining armor with a shining armored checkbook to pay for shit,
babysit and chauffeur as needed.
The Cheapskate
She’s not a slave to fashion, that’s for sure. She has money but does
not spend more than five dollars of it on hair or clothes. She looks
frumpy and haggard and think she looks "natural". One woman I met went
around constantly congested, always blowing her nose, because she was
too cheap to buy her medication, which her allergist had pleaded with
her to take. She also used a pliers to squeeze the last bits of
toothpaste from the tube. Why don’t they put these things in their
profiles? Because you would turn and run like the wind, and they know it.
Living With Mom Girl
Still lives with parents. Good luck getting her out overnight. Curfew is
merely implied if not stated…yuck!
The Never-Goes-Out Girl
She doesn’t go to the movies, she doesn’t go to the beach, she doesn’t
go out with the girls, she stays in all the time playing with her kitty.
She is about as exciting as watching paint dry with old people at Iowa’s
annual Haircut tournament. She would have never had a chance before
match.com, but now she’s just waiting for an opportunity to waste your
time, energy and money. Yawn!
Wicca/Vegan/Hippie Girl
Any chick who worships the Goddess, L Ron Hubbard, Krishna, the earth,
the cosmos, angels, etc is probably about as attractive to you as she is
to me, and that is not at all. And a vegan doesn’t eat milk or egg
products for Christ’s sake! How do they live? And they don’t eat honey
either. Why? Because it’s "cruelty to bees". I am not making this shit
up. Vegetarians, I can understand and hang with, but vegans should just
keep to themselves. Hippie girls, this is not Europe, so please shave it
off.
THE PAINFUL TRUTH—WHAT CATEGORY DO YOU FIT INTO DUDE? WHY ARE YOU ON-LINE?
The Healthy, Educated, Successful, Normal, But Tragically "Nice" Guy
(comprises as much as 95 percent of chronically single men).
Men like to have a good, dependable friend. It’s fine if you’re
predictable, dependable and nice to your male friends, your clients or
your grandma, but do women ever tell you you’re so "nice"? I hope you’re
insulted when they do, because women hate nice guys. Never mind what
they say they like and want. THE IMPORTANT THING IS WHAT THEY ACTUALLY
RESPOND TO AND WHAT THEY ACTUALLY DO!!! And women HATE nice guys. HATE
THEM!!! Can you read? They HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE nice guys!!! There
are many on-line articles and many books about how to kill the nice guy
within you. Do it now! Go to a therapist if necessary. Stop being so
goddamned nice today!!!
coorslte
>/snip/
>
> The Too Busy Girl
>
> She’s working 60-80 hours a week and/or getting her MA or PHD after work
> and somehow can’t find a man. Wow, imagine that! One woman from match
> who was working full time and just started a PhD (no, it was not in the
> profile) told me on our first (and only) meeting: "It’s not going to
> work if you’re the needy type". I guess that, to her, "needy" means that
> you "need" to see her more than once a week for two hours. To their
> credit, most "too busy" girls hint about their schedules in their profile.
>
But during those two hours each week you will have great sex. ;-)
ba...@psyber.com
I cannot believe the photos that are posted on the Yahoo online dating
emails I receive. Sheesh! Some of the forty-something women look
well over 50! Additionally, about 70% of the photos I'm receiving are
rather remarkable. I cannot see, for the life of me why anyone would think
these are "good representations" of the people they are.
I also get a kick outta the ones where you can see their "ex's" arm around them
and they've done a crude cropping of the photograph to get them out of
the picture rather than simply taking another digital photo of themselves.
I have used the Yahoo site with limited success I'll admit but the "keeper
to throw it back" ratio approaches < 10%.
b.
saulgoode
some ways it really is. But that doesn't mean socially acceptable
people don't go online. For instance, my fine-ass ex sister-in-law met
her husband online. She's a normal hot-chick, blonde and petite, MBA
and a VP in a large company (i.e. loaded and smart), witty and
sociable, and in fact I hit on both her and her sister the night I met
my future wife -- so I DID talk to them in a bar.
You never know what you'll get. Don't go fishing and complain about the
fish you catch, b/c it's probably the bait, not the lake.
- Saul
Tom Elliot wrote:
<cut>
m_eL
Picky picky.
I think the author of this is gay.
Doug Laidlaw
>
> http://home.comcast.net/~modonahue/matchcom/
>
> Categories Of Women You Will Find On-Line:Your Guide to the Unavailable
> and/or Undesirable.
>
> Let me ask you guys a difficult question: if you could approach any
> woman you wanted to approach in public, would you have even wasted a
> single minute or dollar to contact any of the women you met through
> match.com? Girls whom you would never approach in a bar, club, coffee
> house, bookstore, mall, grocery store, museum, etc., but comprise
> 99.9999% of the girls on line, and somehow you end up across the table
> from them on a lunch or coffee date, thanks to Match.com, Eharmony,
> Yahoo, et al. All of these on-line dating sites are nothing more than
> clearance bins for crappy women. Read ?em and weep.
>
> The Fat Chick
>
> Do I need here explain? "A few extra pounds", if "a few" means anywhere
> from 20-70, that?s "a few extra pounds" in the on-line world.
> Interestingly, many of them describe themselves as "curvy" despite the
> fact there are no clear boundaries between their chest, gut and ass. In
> my old neighborhood we called these girls "loafs" because they were
> thick, soft, curveless and white like a loaf of bread.
>
> The Super-Fat Chick
>
> "Huggable" or "Heavyset". Bottom line is that they are so big that they
> are a health hazard to themselves. Emotionally and physically, you are
> better off dating a heroin addict, and the latter probably has a better
> chance at living to see 40.
>
> The Anorexic Chick
>
> They describe themselves as "slender", but when you meet them you see
> that their cheeks are sunk in and their clothes hang on their body. Much
> less common than fat or super-fat, but still, they?re out there with
> deceptive pictures just like their fat and super-fat colleagues.
>
> The Angry Divorcee
>
> Are you her lousy cheating no-good husband who ran off with his
> secretary? No, you sure aren?t, but don?t let that stop her from
> displacing all of her anger from his misdeeds onto you. Run for your
> life from this one, with your balls protected.
>
> The Bankrupt Gold Digger
>
> She?s pulling 25k as an administrative assistant or 35k as a
> schoolteacher, but don?t let that stop her from wholeheartedly expecting
> that she be paired with a corporate lawyer who makes 150k. Who else but
> a six-fig exec is qualified to quench her outrageous college and credit
> card debts, which are many and ever expanding. She?s declared bankruptcy
> at least once, but goes to the most expensive health club in town in
> order to meet rich men. Certainly you don?t expect her to take
> responsibility and stop spending, do you? No, she?s firmly convinced
> that for some odd reason she "is entitled" to the good life, on your tab
> of course.
>
> The Nobody?s-Good-Enough-For-Me Girl
>
> She?s been on Match.com for at least a year and can?t find anyone "good
> enough". She is in love with a fantasy; she?s stuck in junior high.
> Hopefully you are not good enough for her to choose you to waste your
> time and money for an evening.
>
> The Too Busy Girl
>
> She?s working 60-80 hours a week and/or getting her MA or PHD after work
> and somehow can?t find a man. Wow, imagine that! One woman from match
> who was working full time and just started a PhD (no, it was not in the
> profile) told me on our first (and only) meeting: "It?s not going to
> work if you?re the needy type". I guess that, to her, "needy" means that
> you "need" to see her more than once a week for two hours. To their
> credit, most "too busy" girls hint about their schedules in their profile.
>
> The Emotionally Unavailable Damaged Goods Girl
>
> It may have been her parents? ugly divorce, maybe it was her dad?s
> abusive alcoholism, maybe it was because Uncle Henry inappropriately
> touched her while she was age 10 to age 13. Maybe it was some sort of
> combination of these scenarios. Maybe it was none of the above, but God
> knows it was something that screwed her up. Either way, she hasn?t even
> begun to deal with her deep-seated crap like a mature, responsible
> adult. So just your putting your arms around her is enough to push any
> amount of buttons, and all of those buttons are ?OFF? buttons. Outside
> of the on-line world, these women are often perfectly paired with closet
> gays who find it convenient to be with a woman who is not
> "touchy-feely", "mushy" or "overly affectionate".
>
> The "I?m Gorgeous" (No, You?re NOT) Girl
>
> She thinks she?s too hot for anyone she?s met thus far. Yeah, only
> problem is she?s average. Nothing wrong with average, and confidence is
> good, just as long as you don?t think you?re gorgeous when you?re average.
>
> The Good Ol? Fashioned Bitch
>
> Angry, axe-wielding, acid-bearing, bent on vengeance, passive aggressive
> and demanding?you better run, you better hide. Run man, run!!!
>
> The Seeking Safe Shelter Girl Type 1
>
> She?s dated abusive "alpha male" types for so long that she wants a man
> who is safe, predictable, controllable, and docile and hopefully, will
> give her a comfortable living. She will grow bored and go into
> adrenaline withdrawal from the ?nice-guy?s? lack of abuse (which is
> excitement in her sick world), eventually resenting then dumping the
> financially well-seated nice guy.
>
> The Seeking Safe Shelter Girl Type 2
>
> Divorced, suburban, with bills, kids, bills and kids. Little to no time
> for dating and can?t go away on roadtrips or vacations because of little
> league, soccer, Awana, scouts, tutoring, karate, dogs, cats, ballet,
> PTA, swim lessons, church board, etc etc etc. She?s looking for a knight
> in shining armor with a shining armored checkbook to pay for shit,
> babysit and chauffeur as needed.
>
> The Cheapskate
>
> She?s not a slave to fashion, that?s for sure. She has money but does
> not spend more than five dollars of it on hair or clothes. She looks
> frumpy and haggard and think she looks "natural". One woman I met went
> around constantly congested, always blowing her nose, because she was
> too cheap to buy her medication, which her allergist had pleaded with
> her to take. She also used a pliers to squeeze the last bits of
> toothpaste from the tube. Why don?t they put these things in their
> profiles? Because you would turn and run like the wind, and they know it.
>
> Living With Mom Girl
>
> Still lives with parents. Good luck getting her out overnight. Curfew is
> merely implied if not stated?yuck!
>
> The Never-Goes-Out Girl
>
> She doesn?t go to the movies, she doesn?t go to the beach, she doesn?t
> go out with the girls, she stays in all the time playing with her kitty.
> She is about as exciting as watching paint dry with old people at Iowa?s
> annual Haircut tournament. She would have never had a chance before
> match.com, but now she?s just waiting for an opportunity to waste your
> time, energy and money. Yawn!
>
> Wicca/Vegan/Hippie Girl
>
> Any chick who worships the Goddess, L Ron Hubbard, Krishna, the earth,
> the cosmos, angels, etc is probably about as attractive to you as she is
> to me, and that is not at all. And a vegan doesn?t eat milk or egg
> products for Christ?s sake! How do they live? And they don?t eat honey
> either. Why? Because it?s "cruelty to bees". I am not making this shit
> up. Vegetarians, I can understand and hang with, but vegans should just
> keep to themselves. Hippie girls, this is not Europe, so please shave it
> off.
>
> THE PAINFUL TRUTH?WHAT CATEGORY DO YOU FIT INTO DUDE? WHY ARE YOU ON-LINE?
>
> The Healthy, Educated, Successful, Normal, But Tragically "Nice" Guy
> (comprises as much as 95 percent of chronically single men).
>
> Men like to have a good, dependable friend. It?s fine if you?re
> predictable, dependable and nice to your male friends, your clients or
> your grandma, but do women ever tell you you?re so "nice"? I hope you?re
> insulted when they do, because women hate nice guys. Never mind what
> they say they like and want. THE IMPORTANT THING IS WHAT THEY ACTUALLY
> RESPOND TO AND WHAT THEY ACTUALLY DO!!! And women HATE nice guys. HATE
> THEM!!! Can you read? They HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE nice guys!!! There
> are many on-line articles and many books about how to kill the nice guy
> within you. Do it now! Go to a therapist if necessary. Stop being so
> goddamned nice today!!!
I told you about the time I went looking for a 65-year-old chick...
"Desperate and dateless," they were.
Yes, 95 per cent of single men are happy and educated. The rest congregate
on soc.men and post to ASM.
Doug.
--
ICQ Number 178748389. Registered Linux User No. 277548.
Who does the best his circumstance allows
Does well, acts nobly; angels could no more.
- Edward Young.
Rog'
> 95 per cent of single men are happy and educated.
> The rest congregate on soc.men and post to ASM.
And likely fat, bald, drool, and watch TV's with aluminum
foil on rabbit-ear antennas in rusted-out double-wides. ;-)
Slightly Graying Wolf
I hope they at least wash the aluminum foil after they take it off the top
of the TV dinner, before they put it on their heads!
John
Bill in Co.
And drink Buds all day.
Rodney M.
Aw c'mon you guys are too hard on the OP. He's one funny dude!:
Wicca/Vegan/Hippie Girl
Any chick who worships the Goddess, L Ron Hubbard, Krishna, the earth,
the cosmos, angels, etc is probably about as attractive to you as she
is to me, and that is not at all. And a vegan doesn't eat milk or egg
products for Christ's sake! How do they live? And they don't eat
honey either. Why? Because it's "cruelty to bees". I am not making
this shit up.
ROTFLMAO! C'mon, anyone who knows a Vega/Wiccan/Hippie freak can
appreciate that beautiful descripttion. So he's flippin' nuts - but I
say he deserves a literary award :-)
Nearl J Icarus
>ROTFLMAO! C'mon, anyone who knows a Vega/Wiccan/Hippie freak can
>appreciate that beautiful descripttion. So he's flippin' nuts - but I
My ex is/was a neopagan wiccan wannbe and I'm the Last of the Flower Children.
I'd be a vega if it weren't for BBQ sauce. Everything has a right to live,
except cows, pigs, and chickens. (or anything else you can eat with BBQ on
it). I wouldn't make that good of a vega. The only green veggie I'll eat are
string beans/peas.
shinypenny
Categories Of Men You Will Find On-Line:Your Guide to the Unavailable
and/or Undesirable.
> The Fat Chick
>
> Do I need here explain? "A few extra pounds", if "a few" means anywhere
> from 20-70, that's "a few extra pounds" in the on-line world.
> Interestingly, many of them describe themselves as "curvy" despite the
> fact there are no clear boundaries between their chest, gut and ass. In
> my old neighborhood we called these girls "loafs" because they were
> thick, soft, curveless and white like a loaf of bread.
The "Stocky" Dude
Describes himself as "athletic." Still has his high school football
trophies on the fireplace mantel. You know the type, we call these men
"tires" because of the squishy mass that congregates above his belt. He
pats his tub and boasts that they are muscles, but the only thing he's
lifted in years is a t.v. remote and a bottle of Bud. Hey, but we gals
can accept a guy like that - even view the tire affectionately as "love
handles" and tell ourselves he's cuddly as a bear. Except he won't go
out with us, because he believes he deserves no less than a cheerleader
type who's got not an ounce of flab on her because she spends hours in
the gym each day.
> The Angry Divorcee
>
> Are you her lousy cheating no-good husband who ran off with his
> secretary? No, you sure aren't, but don't let that stop her from
> displacing all of her anger from his misdeeds onto you. Run for your
> life from this one, with your balls protected.
The Sad-Sack Divorcee
Recently dumped, he spends the entire date crying in his beer and
telling you how much he loves his ex-wife, who's done him wrong. Why is
he on a date with you? Because his buddies told him he should go out
and get laid. You spend the date consoling him and reassuring him he
is, indeed, still a catch. Everytime you try to change the
conversation, he turns it back to his ex, "Sigh... my ex loves romantic
moonlit walks too... and did I mention you sorta look like her? The way
you smile? Your smile is almost as pretty as hers!" You may even end up
giving him free therapy, coaching him on how to win his wife back.
Then, because you spent so much time falling for his sad-sack bait and
attempting to dress him up and build his confidence, he reacts with
anger when later you gently deflect his offer to come in for a
"nightcap." He sneers at you, "You're a bitch just like my ex - you're
***all*** bitches!"
> The Bankrupt Gold Digger
>
> She's pulling 25k as an administrative assistant or 35k as a
> schoolteacher, but don't let that stop her from wholeheartedly expecting
> that she be paired with a corporate lawyer who makes 150k. Who else but
> a six-fig exec is qualified to quench her outrageous college and credit
> card debts, which are many and ever expanding. She's declared bankruptcy
> at least once, but goes to the most expensive health club in town in
> order to meet rich men. Certainly you don't expect her to take
> responsibility and stop spending, do you? No, she's firmly convinced
> that for some odd reason she "is entitled" to the good life, on your tab
> of course.
The Flashy-no-substance Dude
Pulls up in a sports car, the "chick magnet" type. Smells real nice,
like expensive cologne, and dresses snappily. He continually alludes to
his fast-paced, lucrative career and incessantly name drops. When he
indicates he's in the same line of work as you, and even worked for the
same big-name company once, he suddenly gets all shifty-eyed and
quickly cuts off your questions, "Oh! Then you must know so-and-so
too??" Later, you find out he never worked for the company. In fact, he
is perpetually unemployed and living with his mom.
> The Nobody's-Good-Enough-For-Me Girl
>
> She's been on Match.com for at least a year and can't find anyone "good
> enough". She is in love with a fantasy; she's stuck in junior high.
> Hopefully you are not good enough for her to choose you to waste your
> time and money for an evening.
The Pick-up Artist
This guy's approach is to send the same identical email to every woman
on match.com, and hope that someone will be desparate enough to bite.
The email says something like, "Wow! You're Hot and I'm imagining all
sorts of things I'd like to do to your body." He is amazed that nobody
responds. He chalks it up to "women with a stick up their ass thinking
they're too good for anyone."
> The Too Busy Girl
>
> She's working 60-80 hours a week and/or getting her MA or PHD after work
> and somehow can't find a man. Wow, imagine that! One woman from match
> who was working full time and just started a PhD (no, it was not in the
> profile) told me on our first (and only) meeting: "It's not going to
> work if you're the needy type". I guess that, to her, "needy" means that
> you "need" to see her more than once a week for two hours. To their
> credit, most "too busy" girls hint about their schedules in their profile.
The Not-Too-Busy to Cheat on My Wife Guy
Spends his workday cruising match.com for someone who is "married, but
looking." He won't bother sending email too long - he prefers IM. He
will ping you all day long at work, even after you tell him you're not
interested in married men. He will tell you that he loves his wife, but
alas, the sex has long dried up. He is looking for an "arrangement,"
someone who wants to meet for sex over lunchtime. He thinks if he
pesters you long enough, you'll change your mind.
> The Emotionally Unavailable Damaged Goods Girl
>
> It may have been her parents' ugly divorce, maybe it was her dad's
> abusive alcoholism, maybe it was because Uncle Henry inappropriately
> touched her while she was age 10 to age 13. Maybe it was some sort of
> combination of these scenarios. Maybe it was none of the above, but God
> knows it was something that screwed her up. Either way, she hasn't even
> begun to deal with her deep-seated crap like a mature, responsible
> adult. So just your putting your arms around her is enough to push any
> amount of buttons, and all of those buttons are 'OFF' buttons. Outside
> of the on-line world, these women are often perfectly paired with closet
> gays who find it convenient to be with a woman who is not
> "touchy-feely", "mushy" or "overly affectionate".
The Downlow Guy
He's your dream guy, until you discover his profile is posted not just
under MFW, but also under MFM. When you confront him about this, he
shrugs and says, "Hey, I'm not gay or anything like that. But I'll take
sex anyway I can get it. What can I say?"
> The "I'm Gorgeous" (No, You're NOT) Girl
>
> She thinks she's too hot for anyone she's met thus far. Yeah, only
> problem is she's average. Nothing wrong with average, and confidence is
> good, just as long as you don't think you're gorgeous when you're average.
The "I deserve a hottie" guy
He will only date hotties with perfect plasticized figures and
Barbie-doll good looks. Nothing wrong with that, except that he hates
women, especially Barbie-doll types who continually reject him IRL. He
is not interested in a relationship anyway, he just wants to f*ck them
and show them who's boss for once.
> The Good Ol' Fashioned Bitch
>
> Angry, axe-wielding, acid-bearing, bent on vengeance, passive aggressive
> and demanding...you better run, you better hide. Run man, run!!!
The Soc.Men Whiner
Angry, axe-wielding, acid-bearing, bent on vengeance. They been done
wrong and it doesn't matter who you are, they'll see evil if you have
breasts. You're the bitch who cheated on them. The bitch that raped
them in court. You're not just a bitch, you're a fem-nazi bitch. You
aren't even an individual, you're an entire society that's done him and
his buds wrong, wrong wrong. (Hint: you know you're on a date with one
of these types if they only order tea with dinner).
> The Seeking Safe Shelter Girl Type 1
>
> She's dated abusive "alpha male" types for so long that she wants a man
> who is safe, predictable, controllable, and docile and hopefully, will
> give her a comfortable living. She will grow bored and go into
> adrenaline withdrawal from the 'nice-guy's' lack of abuse (which is
> excitement in her sick world), eventually resenting then dumping the
> financially well-seated nice guy.
The ASF Dabbler
He got sick of being a chump, so he studied up on alt-seduction-fast
techniques. He pretends he's the alpha-male type just to get your
attention. Actually, underneath his game, you do see he truly is a nice
guy who craves a relationship just as much as you do. So you play along
with him. You have a great date, with a fabulous good night kiss at the
end. You are all warm-and-fuzzy thinking you've finally found a catch,
figuring he'll relax and drop the ASF b.s. as the relationship develops
and gains more confidence that you're truly interested in him. Then you
log on to ASF the next morning and find out he's posted a "date report"
on you for all 3 million lurkers to view. Only, he's lied in it, making
up stories about the wild sex you didn't have together. You're
disappointed and crushed that a grown man would stoop to such
locker-room antics.
> The Seeking Safe Shelter Girl Type 2
>
> Divorced, suburban, with bills, kids, bills and kids. Little to no time
> for dating and can't go away on roadtrips or vacations because of little
> league, soccer, Awana, scouts, tutoring, karate, dogs, cats, ballet,
> PTA, swim lessons, church board, etc etc etc. She's looking for a knight
> in shining armor with a shining armored checkbook to pay for shit,
> babysit and chauffeur as needed.
The ASF Pro
This guy is an ASF master. You don't know what it is, but you just
sense you're being played. The thing is, he is good - really good! He
says everything you want to hear. He listens to you. Knows when to push
and when to pull away. You find yourself falling for his smooth moves,
melting under his charms, despite yourself. You contemplate a roll in
the hay with him - why not? But there is that coldness behind his eyes.
Inside, he has no soul. Chills run down your spine, but not the good
kind. It dawns on you this guy is a major sociopath. He probably rips
the wings off butterflies, and tortures cute little puppies. Maybe he
has dead women buried all over the place. You get yourself out of there
as fast as you can, relieved that you narrowly escaped!
> The Cheapskate
>
> She's not a slave to fashion, that's for sure. She has money but does
> not spend more than five dollars of it on hair or clothes. She looks
> frumpy and haggard and think she looks "natural". One woman I met went
> around constantly congested, always blowing her nose, because she was
> too cheap to buy her medication, which her allergist had pleaded with
> her to take. She also used a pliers to squeeze the last bits of
> toothpaste from the tube. Why don't they put these things in their
> profiles? Because you would turn and run like the wind, and they know it.
The Stuck in High School Guy
He's no slave to fashion, that's for sure. His closet is filled with
clothes he's worn since high school. They're threadbare and moth-ridden
at this point, and "someday" he'll fit back into those size 32 waist
pants again. He'll show up in a baseball cap, Van Halen tee shirt,
sneakers, and ratty jeans to go to your company black-tie event. His
favorite refrain is, "Hey, if they can't accept me for me, then I don't
want nothing to do with them!" No biggie, except that he expects YOU to
dress really nice for him, and rolls his eyes whenever you just want to
lounge in your comfy old sweats. He'll remark, "Hey honey, just put in
some rollers in your hair while you're at it? Sheesh, don't you have
any dignity? You used to dress up for me all the time! How do you
expect me to get it up for you if you dress like that???"
> Living With Mom Girl
>
> Still lives with parents. Good luck getting her out overnight. Curfew is
> merely implied if not stated...yuck!
The Cradle Robber
Only dates women 10-20 years younger than him. Is completely surprised
to discover his current hottie not only lives with her parents, but
that job during the day is not a job... she's still attending high
school!
> The Never-Goes-Out Girl
>
> She doesn't go to the movies, she doesn't go to the beach, she doesn't
> go out with the girls, she stays in all the time playing with her kitty.
> She is about as exciting as watching paint dry with old people at Iowa's
> annual Haircut tournament. She would have never had a chance before
> match.com, but now she's just waiting for an opportunity to waste your
> time, energy and money. Yawn!
The Never-Goes-Out Guy
His profile is a clue: he enjoys "cuddling on the sofa with my
sweetie." This means he's got satellite t.v. and spends all his hours
glued to endless sports shows. No sport is boring to him. He will
cuddle with you while watching, but beware - he expects you to be the
one to get the beer out of the fridge and bring him his doritos when he
gets hungry. Or maybe he's the guy who spends hours glued to the
internet. You think you've got a catch because while you're dating he
constantly emails and IM's you. Then when you move in together, the
only time you talk to him is when he's online in the bedroom, and
you're online somewhere else in the house.
> Wicca/Vegan/Hippie Girl
>
> Any chick who worships the Goddess, L Ron Hubbard, Krishna, the earth,
> the cosmos, angels, etc is probably about as attractive to you as she is
> to me, and that is not at all. And a vegan doesn't eat milk or egg
> products for Christ's sake! How do they live? And they don't eat honey
> either. Why? Because it's "cruelty to bees". I am not making this shit
> up. Vegetarians, I can understand and hang with, but vegans should just
> keep to themselves. Hippie girls, this is not Europe, so please shave it
> off.
The Upstanding Christian
You think you've met a stable, honest guy for a change. You admire his
dedication to his church. You happily accept his invitation to attend
services on Sunday with him. He believes in marriage, death-do-us-part,
and fidelity. But dig down deeper, and you discover that he's looking
for a certain type of wife. An obedient wife, one who doesn't think for
herself, and will quit her job when the babies come. You have your clue
when he quotes from the bible about Jezebel and hands you a tissue so
you can wipe the lipstick off your face. If you proceed into marriage
with him, you discover he views having sex is a "wifely duty," even the
day after giving birth. You don't need to enjoy it - and it's better if
you don't. You're expected to perform your duty while just lying there.
If you seem to enjoy it too much, or attempt to initiate sex yourself,
then he'll berate you for being a sinner and start shutting you up in
the house, or making you wear ponytails, so you don't tempt other men.
> THE PAINFUL TRUTH-WHAT CATEGORY DO YOU FIT INTO DUDE? WHY ARE YOU ON-LINE?
>
> The Healthy, Educated, Successful, Normal, But Tragically "Nice" Guy
> (comprises as much as 95 percent of chronically single men).
Oh, is that all the types there is? And I'm just getting started!!
There's also...
The Stalker Guy
The Guy who Insists You Want Children, when you don't
The Guy who Sends you his photo from 20 years ago
The Self-Absorbed Guy
and on and on and on.....
jen
shinypenny
shinypenny wrote:
> Categories Of Men You Will Find On-Line:Your Guide to the Unavailable
> and/or Undesirable.
>
>
Oh, and I forgot to add my *all-time* favorite (based on real-life
experience!!)
The Save-the-World Guy
Interesting, intelligent guy who claims he's getting his pHD. You write
long thoughtful emails back and forth, and are impressed with his
writing style; he's definetly Mensa material! Then he offers to send
you his pHD thesis. It's a long-rambling but well-written and
freakishly logical missive about how the world is becoming dumber and
dumber, due to dumb people procreating faster than smart people. His
proposed solution: Mensa-types such as himself have a duty to
impregnate as many women as possible, to boost the world's IQ scores.
This is necessary for survival of the species. Then he emails you to
tell you that he'll "be flying into your neck of the woods next weekend
- how about dinner?" You suddenly think to look more carefully at his
profile. Turns out he's posted a NATIONAL ad. He's 800 miles away from
you. And he's coming to your town.... to spread his superior semen!
ACKKKKKKKKK! *Plonk*
jen
saulgoode
JEN!
You outdid yourself, Ms. Shiny. Incredibly well-written, which I'd
expect no less from the editor-in-chief.
- Saul
-Calliope- wrote:
> OMG, that's hysterical! lol..(but GROSS!)
>
> --
> Cal~
>
> calliope 123 at gmail dot com
shinypenny
saulgoode wrote:
> There's a lesson we can all take away from Jen's post: DON'T MESS WITH
> JEN!
>
> You outdid yourself, Ms. Shiny. Incredibly well-written, which I'd
> expect no less from the editor-in-chief.
Thanks!
My intent, of course, was to demonstrate that neither gender has the
corner on dating woes. The world is simply full of nutty,
less-than-desireable people of *both* genders.
I think it was you that said something about how women shouldn't post a
profile, but instead enjoy turning the dating game around, and use
online services to be able to ask out men instead of waiting to be
asked? I agree and that's how I approached my online forays. I learned
quickly that it must suck to be a man always doing the asking.
Rejection is no fun no matter what gender you are, and even when you
turn the table, it's still feels like you're looking for a needle in a
haystack. That one nice guy in a sea of freaks, weirdos, and downright
scary dudes.
With that said, if you are persistent, can maintain a good sense of
humor, and the sociopath doesn't first murder you and roll your
Glad-Trash-Bag-Encased body into the river, it is possible to find some
good people out there!
jen
WhansaMi
"shinypenny" <shinype...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1122217881....@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>
> Categories Of Men You Will Find On-Line:Your Guide to the Unavailable
> and/or Undesirable.
<snip> Extremely well done, Jen!
Sheila
Cheryl
Jen, you've missed your calling... Really, ya have! Those were great!
Cheryl
saulgoode
> saulgoode wrote:
> > There's a lesson we can all take away from Jen's post: DON'T MESS WITH
> > JEN!
> >
> > You outdid yourself, Ms. Shiny. Incredibly well-written, which I'd
> > expect no less from the editor-in-chief.
>
>
> Thanks!
>
> My intent, of course, was to demonstrate that neither gender has the
> corner on dating woes. The world is simply full of nutty,
> less-than-desireable people of *both* genders.
>
> I think it was you that said something about how women shouldn't post a
> profile, but instead enjoy turning the dating game around, and use
> online services to be able to ask out men instead of waiting to be
> asked? I agree and that's how I approached my online forays. I learned
> quickly that it must suck to be a man always doing the asking.
Yeah, that's my suggestion to online dating. Be the hunter and enjoy
it.
It doesn't suck, really, but you do need to learn how to take
rejection. I went out with one girl who had been a pageant queen all
her life. She said if it taught her nothing else, it taught her how to
handle rejection gracefully. Imagine being told onstage, in front of
family, friends, and strangers, that you're not as pretty as you think
you are -- i.e. you're a pageant queen. Tough gig.
I do like being approached, tho. Asking and successfully receiving has
some satisfaction, but it's another gratification entirely to have a
stranger nod at you and say you're cute, even as a stone-hearted man.
> Rejection is no fun no matter what gender you are, and even when you
> turn the table, it's still feels like you're looking for a needle in a
> haystack. That one nice guy in a sea of freaks, weirdos, and downright
> scary dudes.
>
> With that said, if you are persistent, can maintain a good sense of
> humor, and the sociopath doesn't first murder you and roll your
> Glad-Trash-Bag-Encased body into the river, it is possible to find some
> good people out there!
GOOD LORD JEN! That's a horrible image! TMI.
Here, let me edit the editor:
> With that said, if you are persistent and can maintain a good sense of
> humor, it is possible to find some
> good people out there!
- Saul
>
> jen
the Danimal
> My intent, of course, was to demonstrate that neither gender has the
> corner on dating woes. The world is simply full of nutty,
> less-than-desireable people of *both* genders.
You'd think it would take a lot of work to fill the world with nutty,
less-than-desirable people. But actually I find doing my part quite
easy. I only make it look difficult. Or, perhaps, difficult to watch.
> I think it was you that said something about how women shouldn't post a
> profile, but instead enjoy turning the dating game around, and use
> online services to be able to ask out men instead of waiting to be
> asked? I agree and that's how I approached my online forays. I learned
> quickly that it must suck to be a man always doing the asking.
> Rejection is no fun no matter what gender you are, and even when you
> turn the table, it's still feels like you're looking for a needle in a
> haystack. That one nice guy in a sea of freaks, weirdos, and downright
> scary dudes.
Well, what sort of people would you expect to use online dating
services?
Obviously, you would expect a large percentage of them to be people
who have trouble meeting and attracting people in real life.
Everybody has access to real life already. It doesn't cost any
money; or at least it doesn't cost any more than you are already
paying. Each of us has a lifetime membership in real life.
So real life is what everybody tries first when they
attempt to find whatever sort of relationship(s) they want.
Only when real life fails does someone shift to Plan B.
Anybody who is desirable has no problems meeting and attracting
people in real life. It's not really that tough to do, as long
as nature and nurture provided the right equipment.
When you go online, you are cutting most of those people out, the
people who do well in real life. I.e., most of the people you
would find attractive.
A large percentage of the people you will meet online probably
have various kinds of attractiveness flaws that are so immediately
obvious as to be a handicap in real-life meetings and hookups
with people like you.
> With that said, if you are persistent, can maintain a good sense of
> humor, and the sociopath doesn't first murder you and roll your
> Glad-Trash-Bag-Encased body into the river, it is possible to find some
> good people out there!
I think you are being unduly pessimistic. Even if a sociopath does
murder you, you could still find some good people. Of course you
won't be able to appreciate the handsome police officer or coroner
who processes your remains. But you will have "found" them, in a
sense. Keep looking on the bright side of life! Or death, as
appropriate.
The definition of "good (enough)" obviously varies, as I'd bet
a large percentage of the men you reject as hopelessly undesirable
have hooked up or will hook up with other women.
There are only a few people who really are unattractive to everyone.
They are naturals for online dating services (what else can they
try?). Of course not everyone who resorts to online dating is
that unattractive.
As you learned by taking the aggressor role, some men find you
attractive
while others don't consider you worth even one date.
Sometimes it has to do with a person's alternatives. For example, two
men might find you comparably attractive, and attractive enough to
date,
but one of them rejects you because he is already dating one or more
women he considers even more attractive.
But a lot of it is just baffling. I have never begun to understand
why most women are just plain indifferent toward me, at best, while
some tiny percentage behaved as if they thought I was the cat's
pajamas or something.
In any case, maybe you can increase your chances of finding someone
you consider "good" by defining what you mean by "good" as accurately
as you can. The Thomas Edison approach (try EVERYTHING until you find
something that works) can succeed---it worked for Thomas Edison a
few times, famously---but it's not efficient.
You have listed some examples of what you don't want. But what
do you want?
-- the Danimal
DrLith
>(Hint: you know you're on a date with one
> of these types if they only order tea with dinner).
OMG, ROTFPIMP! jen, you really ought to warn us ladies to take a
bathroom break before reading this far!
> Oh, is that all the types there is? And I'm just getting started!!
> There's also...
>
> The Stalker Guy
>
> The Guy who Insists You Want Children, when you don't
>
> The Guy who Sends you his photo from 20 years ago
>
> The Self-Absorbed Guy
>
>
> and on and on and on.....
That was worth the price of admission!
DrLith
> On Sun 24 Jul 2005 07:55:00p, DrLith wrote:
>
>
>>>(Hint: you know you're on a date with one of these types if they only
>>>order tea with dinner).
>>
>>OMG, ROTFPIMP! jen, you really ought to warn us ladies to take a
>>bathroom break before reading this far!
>>
>
>
> Perhaps there are medical reasons why someone can't have things like wine
> or whatever. (This is the case with me, btw.. due to medical reasons, I
> can't/shouldn't be drinking alcohol, so I order tea, mostly) Perhaps the
> guy has similar medical reasons?
I suspect you did not read the "men as providers" thread through to its
sordid conclusion.
Bill in Co.
> On Sun 24 Jul 2005 08:36:28p, DrLith wrote:
>
>> I suspect you did not read the "men as providers" thread through to its
>> sordid conclusion.
>
>
> marked a ton of crap as 'read'.. that thread being one of them.
Excuses, excuses, excuses. More excuses! Pffffft!
DrLith
> On Sun 24 Jul 2005 08:36:28p, DrLith wrote:
>
>
>>sordid conclusion.
>
>
>
> was wondering about that, because both I and often SO will order tea, but
> we're both diabetic, so we can't drink much, if any, alcohol. What's
> left, but tea, seltzer, or soda. We both usually pick tea.
>
> Perhaps I should look at the last few posts in that thread?
Basically, the poster known as "mark sobelewski" went out on a date--in
the evening, using a restaurant as a landmark, but in his defense he
says it was not agreed upon that they were going out for dinner. And
since he had already eaten, he only wanted tea, while his date ordered
dinner. To boot, he complained to the waitstaff and his date about the
high price of the tea and the way it was served (someone brilliantly
dubbed him the "tea nazi"--"no tea for you!") And he thought the girl
was the one with issues.
RMD
>But a lot of it is just baffling. I have never begun to understand
>why most women are just plain indifferent toward me, at best, while
>some tiny percentage behaved as if they thought I was the cat's
>pajamas or something.
There is no explaining "chemistry", it has a lot of factors which have
nothing to do with any particular persons characteristics. And what
appeals at one time, may not appeal at another time.
I find it's easy to like people and to like them as friends. There are
a lot less people who you might like to spend a lot of time with.
Probably way less you would like to actually be sexually intimate
with. And then there is living in the same house. Or sharing
finances...... Getting to be pretty tiny percentage now.....
Just because you don't find someone sexually attractive doesn't mean
they aren't a perfectly good person in all sorts of ways. Except there
isn't ever going to be a serious romantic relationship happening.
When I meet women, no matter how keen we both may seem on each other
in the first place, I don't expect that anything much will happen
after that. Somewhere in the "getting to know you" phase either they
or I will slide off the others radar. Despite this apparently low
success rate, I've never been alone for long unless I wanted a time
alone.
Still, some of the folk you meet are definitely pretty weird on closer
acquaintance, and that is putting it mildy! :)
Ross
(To get email address ROT 13)
ebff...@lnubb.pbz
Tai
<snip hilarious list>
>
> Oh, is that all the types there is? And I'm just getting started!!
> There's also...
>
> The Stalker Guy
>
> The Guy who Insists You Want Children, when you don't
>
> The Guy who Sends you his photo from 20 years ago
>
> The Self-Absorbed Guy
>
>
> and on and on and on.....
>
That was brilliant, Jen. I feel as if you should have been paid for it,
though!
Tai
Nearl J Icarus
>shinypenny wrote:
> Categories Of Men You Will Find On-Line:Your Guide to the Unavailable
> and/or Undesirable.
Thanks, that sure was entertaining and a perfect reply to... what you were
repling to. And more truthful thats for sure. Nice of them to supply the rope
you hung them with.
shinypenny
saulgoode wrote:
> Yeah, that's my suggestion to online dating. Be the hunter and enjoy
> it.
>
> It doesn't suck, really, but you do need to learn how to take
> rejection. I went out with one girl who had been a pageant queen all
> her life. She said if it taught her nothing else, it taught her how to
> handle rejection gracefully. Imagine being told onstage, in front of
> family, friends, and strangers, that you're not as pretty as you think
> you are -- i.e. you're a pageant queen. Tough gig.
Yep, ITA that learning how to take rejection is a valuable experience.
And all my experiments with online dating really have increased my
confidence as a result. Not just in the dating world - it has
influenced other aspects of my life as well. I'm more comfortable going
out on a limb at work, for example. Rejection doesn't mean there's
necessarily something wrong with *me,* or the other person, for that
matter. What a nice thing to discover!
> I do like being approached, tho. Asking and successfully receiving has
> some satisfaction, but it's another gratification entirely to have a
> stranger nod at you and say you're cute, even as a stone-hearted man.
Nod, and yes, you are cute! I saw your ASD pic and profile. When I was
in the market, your ad was just the type I might have responded to,
even without a photo.
> > Rejection is no fun no matter what gender you are, and even when you
> > turn the table, it's still feels like you're looking for a needle in a
> > haystack. That one nice guy in a sea of freaks, weirdos, and downright
> > scary dudes.
> >
> > With that said, if you are persistent, can maintain a good sense of
> > humor, and the sociopath doesn't first murder you and roll your
> > Glad-Trash-Bag-Encased body into the river, it is possible to find some
> > good people out there!
>
> GOOD LORD JEN! That's a horrible image! TMI.
Heh heh... that's just my weird sense of humor!
I found it always lightened things up if I joked with my dates about
how I was bringing along a Glad lawn & leaf bag and a roll of duct
tape, just in case I'd have to kill them and dispose of their body.
Most guys took this in the spirit it was intended, especially coming
from a petite gal like me, who couldn't roll a dead 180 lb body off a
bridge if she wanted to. :-)
jen
shinypenny
BP wrote:
> I'm gonna have to watch myself for awhile not to become this guy. Not
> that I want my stbx back; I'm happier now without her. But sometimes I
> still miss the life we used to have, with all of us living in one home
> and the kids not having to go back and forth - and way back in the
> distant past we actually were happy together, sometimes...
>
> I have started doing some IM chats with women I've met online, just
> for some companionship and to get used to talking with other women,
> something I have not done for a long time. Somehow the conversation
> always includes talking about my stbx, although I swear I never try to
> do that...
Well, I do hope you realize I was exaggerating for dramatic effect.
With that said, in my copious experience, there are TONS of freshly
divorced types out there online doing a version of this routine. And
yes, there was one in particular who did, indeed, compare my smile to
his ex's!!! And more than one that I ended up "counseling" just as I
would have if he'd showed up on ASD asking for advice.
Also, I'm pretty sure I was one of these types when I was freshly
divorced (except my musings about my ex were less-than-wistful)! It's
hard not to talk about it when the wounds are still fresh. Ack, my poor
dates. :-(
I did get to the point where I stopped going out with anyone who's
divorce was less than one year old. They may *think* they're ready for
a relationship, but they're not.
When I met DF (not online - a blind date), we agreed right up front not
to talk about our ex's on our first date. He and I both had been long
divorced. That was quite refreshing, not being asked the usual
questions, or exchanging depressing past history.
We did, of course, talk about it on later dates. It is important info
to know when you are thinking about getting serious with someone. You
do want to know why the relationship broke up, whether the person is
over it, and whether they've put any intelligent thought into their
contribution to the break-up. But you don't need to know all that until
after the first date, and before you've determined there's other more
positive experience, compatability, and chemistry.
> >Why is
> >he on a date with you? Because his buddies told him he should go out
> >and get laid.<snip>
>
> Heh. This is funny - because the two "buddies" who have given me that
> advice recently are both female! Not that I intend to take their
> advice, anyway - casual sex without any involvement has never worked
> out well for me, back in the days pre-marriage when it did happen
> sometimes. I guess I'm just wired to need more than that, to actually
> care about someone before getting into the sack.
Whether to get laid or just to get back out there, to boost confidence
that there is hope, I don't begrudge a person jumping back in the ring,
too soon or not. I just would caution that you're honest with yourself
and with others. It's okay to say, "I'm just dating around right now,
getting my feet wet, but I'm afraid I may not quite be over my divorce
and probably not ready for anything too serious just now." I respect
that sort of self-insight much more than the guy who presents himself
as ready to get remarried when the ink isn't even dry.
jen
Doug Anderson
jen:
Those were all pretty amsusing! Please tell me you are joking about
that last one!
Your DF should keep you waiting for two hours more often.
Doug
Doug Anderson
> On Sun 24 Jul 2005 07:55:00p, DrLith wrote:
>
>>>(Hint: you know you're on a date with one of these types if they only
>>>order tea with dinner).
>>
>> OMG, ROTFPIMP! jen, you really ought to warn us ladies to take a
>> bathroom break before reading this far!
>>
>
> I guess I don't get that? What's wrong with ordering tea with dinner?
Reread. She said _only_ order tea.
Then check out "men as providers" if you have the patience!
shinypenny
the Danimal wrote:
> shinypenny wrote:
> > My intent, of course, was to demonstrate that neither gender has the
> > corner on dating woes. The world is simply full of nutty,
> > less-than-desireable people of *both* genders.
>
> You'd think it would take a lot of work to fill the world with nutty,
> less-than-desirable people. But actually I find doing my part quite
> easy. I only make it look difficult. Or, perhaps, difficult to watch.
Hee hee...
> > I think it was you that said something about how women shouldn't post a
> > profile, but instead enjoy turning the dating game around, and use
> > online services to be able to ask out men instead of waiting to be
> > asked? I agree and that's how I approached my online forays. I learned
> > quickly that it must suck to be a man always doing the asking.
> > Rejection is no fun no matter what gender you are, and even when you
> > turn the table, it's still feels like you're looking for a needle in a
> > haystack. That one nice guy in a sea of freaks, weirdos, and downright
> > scary dudes.
>
> Well, what sort of people would you expect to use online dating
> services?
Um, busy people, like me, who don't make it a practice to cruise local
bars on a frequent basis?
> Obviously, you would expect a large percentage of them to be people
> who have trouble meeting and attracting people in real life.
>
> Everybody has access to real life already. It doesn't cost any
> money; or at least it doesn't cost any more than you are already
> paying. Each of us has a lifetime membership in real life.
> So real life is what everybody tries first when they
> attempt to find whatever sort of relationship(s) they want.
> Only when real life fails does someone shift to Plan B.
>
> Anybody who is desirable has no problems meeting and attracting
> people in real life. It's not really that tough to do, as long
> as nature and nurture provided the right equipment.
I don't agree with this. I know too many desireable people who have
real problems meeting and attracting people in real life. It's a sheer
numbers and opportunity game. If you're past college and in the
workforce, if you spent years in a marriage surrounded by likewise
married friends, if you have custody of your children even part time
and spend your days in child-centric activities, if you have recently
moved to a new town, if you don't go to church, you simply have less of
an opportunity.
If you make it a policy not to date anyone in your workplace, as I do,
you've effectively eliminated a large number of potentials. And I make
it a policy for myself, because I'm in upper level management and it's
just not kosher for me to be flirting with coworkers - I've got a
business reputation I like to protect. I don't want anyone implying
that I got where I am today because I was dating someone higher up, or
have a sticky situation because someone who once worked for me got a
promotion, etc.
> When you go online, you are cutting most of those people out, the
> people who do well in real life. I.e., most of the people you
> would find attractive.
Most of the people I meet in real life, aside from the workplace, are
already happily married. That's because a large part of my free time
currently revolves around child-centric activities. At my children's
school, there are surprisingly few divorced parents. I will admit that
I have long had a big crush on one of my DD's teachers... he's so
adorable! But alas, he's married.
> A large percentage of the people you will meet online probably
> have various kinds of attractiveness flaws that are so immediately
> obvious as to be a handicap in real-life meetings and hookups
> with people like you.
Yes, but at least it is efficient to weed through all the chaff fairly
quickly.
The first time I did the online thing was on a dare. I'd just become
divorced, and had moved to a new town where I knew no one. Likewise, a
friend of mine had recently moved cross country and was interested in
trying out the online thing. He dared me to post a profile too. So I
did, and he and I had fun comparing experiences.
This was years ago when yahoo was free and there was no match.com. My
ad, with no photo, received 300 responses in one month. I spent a lot
of time writing email replies to everyone, because my friend had only
rec'd 7 responses and I knew how bad he felt when he would respond to
an ad and never hear anything.
It was pretty easy to weed through 300 responses and pare it down to
just 10 potentially promising ones. Those 10 I'd *never* have met IRL.
I went on 10 enjoyable dates. I'm still friends with a few of those
original ones. I ended up in a three-year relationship with lucky
batchelor #10, a guy who didn't share his photo with me until after
we'd been emailing for awhile. It was his great sense of humor, common
interests, and his intelligent writing style that attracted me to him.
Just because you're out there IRL and men are attracted to you at first
glance and you're attracted to them at first glance, doesn't
necessarily mean that those are the types of people that would hold
your interest for very long. You need opportunity to actually *TALK*
with people and get to know them, before determining if there is
chemistry and possibility.
> > With that said, if you are persistent, can maintain a good sense of
> > humor, and the sociopath doesn't first murder you and roll your
> > Glad-Trash-Bag-Encased body into the river, it is possible to find some
> > good people out there!
>
> I think you are being unduly pessimistic. Even if a sociopath does
> murder you, you could still find some good people. Of course you
> won't be able to appreciate the handsome police officer or coroner
> who processes your remains. But you will have "found" them, in a
> sense. Keep looking on the bright side of life! Or death, as
> appropriate.
You do know I was joking, right? ;-)
> The definition of "good (enough)" obviously varies, as I'd bet
> a large percentage of the men you reject as hopelessly undesirable
> have hooked up or will hook up with other women.
I don't doubt it. There's someone for everyone. And, I'm not perfect
myself. I have my quirks. The type of guy for me also has some quirks
and imperfections. I don't mind a little bit of dysfunction. :-)
> There are only a few people who really are unattractive to everyone.
> They are naturals for online dating services (what else can they
> try?). Of course not everyone who resorts to online dating is
> that unattractive.
>
> As you learned by taking the aggressor role, some men find you
> attractive
> while others don't consider you worth even one date.
Actually, the guys that rejected me did so because I *wouldn't* share
my photo at the drop of a hat. Personally, I prefer to hold off - at
least two emails - before sharing my pic. Why? I dunno. I just feel
weird flashing my photo and revealing my identity to strangers.
I never got rejected by someone who saw my pic, so I don't think I'm
unattractive. I guess the type of man who would interest me would be
polite enough, and respectful of my privacy, to spend a minimum of two
emails building a rapport before demanding a photo.
Of course, that goes both ways - when I did the online thing, I can't
say I *never* allowed myself to be drawn in by a stunning looking man
(ahem!), but I can say that I put a lot more emphasis on what he wrote
in his profile, than how he looked. And I paid a lot of attention to
those ads without pics. On purpose. The kind of guy that intrigues me
is the kind of guy who, like me, doesn't go around flashing his photo
online. Someone who shares my sense of privacy.
I was rewarded for that approach: the most fabulous "catches" I
discovered online where those that didn't post a photo!! I still
remember this one guy, who completely captivated me with his writing.
He kept me in suspense until our first date. Wow...... drop dead
gorgeous!!! We went on to have quite a romance. And another guy, also
never shared his photo before the first date... we dated a handful of
times but eventually went on to have a friendship (he wasn't quite over
his ex), but darn, he is good looking.
So just because someone doesn't post a photo, don't automatically
conclude that they're fat and ugly.
> Sometimes it has to do with a person's alternatives. For example, two
> men might find you comparably attractive, and attractive enough to
> date,
> but one of them rejects you because he is already dating one or more
> women he considers even more attractive.
The vast majority of men I met online were not dating anyone else. It's
a numbers game and men tend to outnumber women. Or, it could be because
the run-of-the-mill type of guy that appeals to the majority of women
(the one who writes cheesy things in his profile like, "Enjoys walks at
sunset") is simply not the type of guy that I would respond to.
> But a lot of it is just baffling. I have never begun to understand
> why most women are just plain indifferent toward me, at best, while
> some tiny percentage behaved as if they thought I was the cat's
> pajamas or something.
>
> In any case, maybe you can increase your chances of finding someone
> you consider "good" by defining what you mean by "good" as accurately
> as you can. The Thomas Edison approach (try EVERYTHING until you find
> something that works) can succeed---it worked for Thomas Edison a
> few times, famously---but it's not efficient.
>
> You have listed some examples of what you don't want. But what
> do you want?
Thanks for the offer to help, but I have already met my match. I'm
engaged. :-)
Ironically, we didn't meet online. We were a blind date setup by mutual
acquaintances. He was, however, doing the match.com thing, so it was
probably only a matter of time before we'd have met that way (I later
saw his ad, which he'd been using on a different service but had just
posted on match the week we were introduced. I definetly would have
picked it out of the lineup).
We figure it was simply destiny that we'd meet. He was living only a
mile away from where I was living. I doubt we'd met IRL because our
town is quite populated. We could've spent years in the same circle
just missing each other and never meeting. But he, like me, was on a
concerted "campaign" to meet someone and settle down. He was playing
the numbers game and going out on a lot of first dates.
Like me, in addition to using the online method, he'd told everyone he
knew that he was in the market, and what type of person he was looking
for. The people that set us up only really know us rather vaguely. They
simply knew that he was looking, and I was looking.... and the rest is
history!
jen
Zorra
"Doug Anderson" <ethelthelo...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:JqadnR_xHvX...@comcast.com...
>> I guess I don't get that? What's wrong with ordering tea with dinner?
>
> Reread. She said _only_ order tea.
Yes, but she said _only_ order tea _with_ dinner. I can understand
why anyone who hadn't read the men as providers thread would be
confused. It should have been "only order tea _for_ dinner."
Not trying to nitpick, Jen. It was a hilarious post!
Zorra
Doug Anderson
> "Doug Anderson" <ethelthelo...@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:JqadnR_xHvX...@comcast.com...
> >> I guess I don't get that? What's wrong with ordering tea with dinner?
> >
> > Reread. She said _only_ order tea.
>
> Yes, but she said _only_ order tea _with_ dinner. I can understand
> why anyone who hadn't read the men as providers thread would be
> confused. It should have been "only order tea _for_ dinner."
I missed that. It is a confusing sentence if you haven't read
about Sobolewski's dating habits.
mark_so...@yahoo.com
Indeed! It is "basically" just me going out and not ordering
dinner and making a complaint about my tea. That's all there
is to it.
regards,
Mark Sobolewski
shinypenny
Yeah, I was typing too fast, and on an empty tummy. That shoulda been
"for" dinner.
jen
DrLith
> couldn't roll a dead 180 lb body off a
> bridge if she wanted to. :-)
That's what the hacksaw's for, sweetie.
Doug Anderson
Note to self: If Kath and I ever both find ourselves unattached,
_don't_ date her.
shinypenny
I thought of that, but then I couldn't find a "date" purse that was
large enough while also fashionable and trendy. :-)
jen
Robert Grumbine
shinypenny <shinype...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>
>DrLith wrote:
>> shinypenny
>>
>> > couldn't roll a dead 180 lb body off a
>> > bridge if she wanted to. :-)
And you know this how, exactly?
:-)
>> That's what the hacksaw's for, sweetie.
>
>I thought of that, but then I couldn't find a "date" purse that was
>large enough while also fashionable and trendy. :-)
Oh, dear. I'm not sure it's a good thing that I solved that
'problem' so quickly.
--
Robert Grumbine http://www.radix.net/~bobg/ Science faqs and amateur activities notes and links.
Sagredo (Galileo Galilei) "You present these recondite matters with too much
evidence and ease; this great facility makes them less appreciated than they
would be had they been presented in a more abstruse manner." Two New Sciences
DrLith
> In article <1122322848....@g49g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>,
> shinypenny <shinype...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>>
>>DrLith wrote:
>>
>>>shinypenny
>>>
>>>
>>>>couldn't roll a dead 180 lb body off a
>>>>bridge if she wanted to. :-)
>
>
> And you know this how, exactly?
> :-)
>
>
>>>That's what the hacksaw's for, sweetie.
>>
>>I thought of that, but then I couldn't find a "date" purse that was
>>large enough while also fashionable and trendy. :-)
>
>
> Oh, dear. I'm not sure it's a good thing that I solved that
> 'problem' so quickly.
What, the problem of where to discreetly store your hacksaw while out on
a blind date? I'd be interested to know what solution you came up with!
("Is that an 8" 20-pt ripcut dovetail saw in your pocket, or are you
just happy to see me?")
shinypenny
Robert Grumbine wrote:
> In article <1122322848....@g49g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>,
> shinypenny <shinype...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> >
> >
> >DrLith wrote:
> >> shinypenny
> >>
> >> > couldn't roll a dead 180 lb body off a
> >> > bridge if she wanted to. :-)
>
> And you know this how, exactly?
> :-)
If I tell you, I'd have to kill you. :-)
jen
shinypenny
DrLith wrote:
> What, the problem of where to discreetly store your hacksaw while out on
> a blind date? I'd be interested to know what solution you came up with!
>
> ("Is that an 8" 20-pt ripcut dovetail saw in your pocket, or are you
> just happy to see me?")
I bet alt.fashion would know!
jen
saulgoode
right down the crapper.
It trips me out, too. If you've never seen Very Bad Things, you should
see it so you can fully appreciate the hacksaw chide. There are
*always* options.
- Saul
Rog'
> Several years back, a man who frequented ASD was going to
> be in my area and wondered if we could meet for dinner. He
> seemed nice enough, so I thought, why not.. it's just dinner.
> <snip> ... this guy was so pissed off, accused me of lying to
> him and then said 'What, do you think I have duct tape and an
> axe in my trunk or something?'
ASD attracts all sorts of weirdo's. Sometimes, they're clever at
concealing the true nature of their weirdness, so it can be difficult
to tell whether any one of us an escaped lunatic or merely socially
inept, without first looking in the trunk. :-) =R=
shinypenny
Rog' wrote:
> ASD attracts all sorts of weirdo's. Sometimes, they're clever at
> concealing the true nature of their weirdness, so it can be difficult
> to tell whether any one of us an escaped lunatic or merely socially
> inept, without first looking in the trunk. :-) =R=
Hee hee.. I was wondering what that weird smell in my trunk was... but
don't worry, it wasn't any ASD/ASM guys. Just a bunch of soc.men. Heh
heh.
And they think we women are just out to castrate them! LOL!
jen
saulgoode
but awkward types, but you never know.
In any case, that anger thing sounds whacked. Maybe it's a good
practice to stand up the guy the first date and see how he takes it?
That's a thought... see how he handles it, either as man or soc.man.
- Saul
GGGNH wrote:
> In article <kQeFe.4279$h.4...@bignews6.bellsouth.net>,
> Good posting. I think Cal should be sure to avoid "all" personal and
> physical contact with any males who post here. :-)
>
> GGG
>
> --
> To contact me: GG...@yahoo.mail
Rog'
> I think Cal should be sure to avoid "all" personal and
>> physical contact with any males who post here. :-)
No, she should just look in their trunks first. ;-)
dizzy
<saulg...@cyber-rights.net> wrote:
>It doesn't suck, really, but you do need to learn how to take
>rejection. I went out with one girl who had been a pageant queen all
>her life. She said if it taught her nothing else, it taught her how to
>handle rejection gracefully. Imagine being told onstage, in front of
>family, friends, and strangers, that you're not as pretty as you think
>you are -- i.e. you're a pageant queen. Tough gig.
Oh, for Christ's sake. Not winning a beauty pageant can hardly be
called "rejection". Sheesh!
dwacon
"-Calliope-" <calliope...@removegmail.com> wrote in message
news:Xns969FBAC43...@207.69.189.191...
Watch out... it might bite!
---
She's Barefoot All Over!
http://tinyurl.com/4vo8x
saulgoode
dwacon wrote:
> "-Calliope-" <calliope...@removegmail.com> wrote in message
> news:Xns969FBAC43...@207.69.189.191...
> > On Tue 26 Jul 2005 06:36:24a, Rog' wrote:
> >
> >>> GGGNH wrote:
> >>> I think Cal should be sure to avoid "all" personal and
> >>>> physical contact with any males who post here. :-)
> >>
> >> No, she should just look in their trunks first. ;-)
> >>
> >
> > Heheh.. I like that idea..
>
>
> Watch out... it might bite!
I've read this "trunks" post several times and I just now get it.
Look in their "trunks"! Get it! HAHAHA! Wish I could find a girl who'd
search my trunks...
I'm dense.
- Saul
SpritE8
> You never know what you'll get. Don't go fishing and complain about the
> fish you catch, b/c it's probably the bait, not the lake.
>
>
> - Saul
>
Bald Geezer
news:1122217881....@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
> The Stalker Guy
>
> The Guy who Insists You Want Children, when you don't
>
> The Guy who Sends you his photo from 20 years ago
>
> The Self-Absorbed Guy
I think you should do these entries and finish the job. I for one would
like very much to read them.
You also forgot to include the one entry at the end that makes the whole
project worthwhile - the description of every single girl who isn't a good
catch. Then your essay will be just the same as the OP's, except written
for girls instead of guys.
Bald Geezer
@news.wss.yale.edu:
> Jen, you've missed your calling... Really, ya have! Those were great!
>
> Cheryl
Jen missed the obvious. If she'd taken the time to follow the links, she
would have seen that this was a scam to trick men into buying seduction
lessons. Those guys feed off men's cynicism and hatred for women, and the
primary porpose of that post was to fan the fire and drive more men into
the seduction camp.
By making her well written, but poorly thought through, comedy essay, Jen
also participated in the fanning of the fires, driving more men into the
cynical seducers camp. And driving more women into the "I hate men" camp,
too.
Rule #1 is "as long as it's not a porno, always click the attached link."
Jen's a good writer, but she'll never be a detective.