Again

[Minkster]

Hi Group!

I got divorced nearly four years ago and
would read posts here, they helped me
understand what i thought i was not able to.

I then met a wonderful woman who turned me round.
She showed me i could love, trust and above all.......
BE HAPPY.

We were all set, she loved me, she kept telling me
just how much i meant. We started buying a house.
Then, one night, i was woken up. Told "i can't do this."
She walked out of my life, telling me the situation
reminded her of her past marriage,,,,,you see, she was
badly abused by her ex, in ways i could never repeat here
or anywhere.
I tried to understand, tried to let her know i understood.
I think i overdid it, she soon asked me to stop calling her.
I tried, but the need to just hear her voice was all
consuming. She was very hurt by past memories that our
committment to eachother had stirred. I was hurt that she
couldn't or even wouldn't tell me if i was still loved or wanted.
I wanted to know those things. She said move on, but when
asked if she wanted me to meet another, she said NO. After a
while she said she still loved me and cared, even missed me.
But, when pressed to see if we could start again, given a little
time and space i was unable to for the first few weeks........
She wouldn't answer.

Now she has changed her numbers, told me she'll call
mid july............when i sent her an email telling her just
how much she meant to me and that i would wait for
her for as long as it took.........................It was ignored.

Don't know why i am writing this. All the feelings i had before
have smacked me in the face. I am now having counselling, on
Anti-D's, don't want to go anywhere or see anyone. I sit and
cry like a baby.
It's been two months, i am in a state. I know these things pass.
But it's hell in the eye of the storm.

Never thought i would feel this crushing grief ever again.

If u read this, thanks

[Xenos]

Quote: " When you go to a woman, always take the whip with you "
" from Nietsche ". Not to be literally taken.
You can never give a woman 100% of your self.
Once she has you in her pocket she will crush you.
Sad but truth.
Love is within your own heart. It has not much to do with her.
Meet a woman who loves and cherish you and be with her so long it is so.
Never run after her or beg her.
If she acts like a child treat her like a child.
As a man you can not afford the luxury of un responsible behavior.
Women can.
Love your self and her and demand the same from her.
" A woman is a short time thing " . From: Louis Armstrong.

Between man and woman it is always a power game. Sad but truth.

[NUNIA]

"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message
news:b92p69$rq9$1...@sparta.btinternet.com...

hey buddy,when are you going to learn?
woman are not to be trusted with your heart.
stop setting yourself up.
it is not worth it.
hell,it only took me 20-odd years to figure it out-but now I am WAY WISER!

[Temily]

Hi Minkster..

I'd say your finance was feeling smothered and that's why she changed her
numbers in the end....it's not your fault, she obviously has commitment
issues and can't commit due to this..

I'd suggest you send her a 'goodbye' letter saying you understand how she
feels, you realise how much she wants and needs to move on..and you have
finally accepted that she wanted the relationship over and now you are also
moving on in your life and will not contact her again.

Then, use all the courage you have and DO NOT WRITE OR CALL OR CONTACT HER
IN ANY WAY.

Remember that saying, "If you love someone, set them free, if they come
back, they're yours, and if they don't, they never were."

IF she comes back to you....she will in her own time. If she
doesn't...you'll know it just was not meant to be.

Believe me - this will work.

Any other action on your part will be percieved as harrasment, stalking or
obsessive behaviour..and that will definately turn her away FOREVER.

Your choice - what do you want? To give it a shot and see if she does come
back OR be considered a needy clingy, obsessive person in her eyes?

Temily

PS I know it's hard - your pain will feel as if it will never go, but one
day, the monkey will be off your back. I promise that :-)

"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message
news:b92p69$rq9$1...@sparta.btinternet.com...

[Roger B.]

Its a shame, but you chose someone who had problems
which you could not overcome. How often do we fall
for the line, "Love conquers all?" Sorry, but it don't.

Now, all you are is needy and desperate. It happens to
the best of us. You have two choices: (a) Continue as
you are, or (b) take your life back and move on. [Rog']

"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote...

[Denise F. Hayden]

You know this grief is survivable. The problem is that while you may know
that, it sure as hell doesn't FEEL that way. So, just take it a day at a
time, visit here and rant and post......it will pass in time. My only bit of
advice....stay uninvolved with women for a while. Take this time for a lot
of self-examination and evaluation.

Denise

"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message
news:b92p69$rq9$1...@sparta.btinternet.com...

[NUNIA]

"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message
news:b92p69$rq9$1...@sparta.btinternet.com...

[Rambler]

"NUNIA" <NU...@BUSSINESS.NET> wrote in message
news:UM6ta.65660$i46....@fe02.atl2.webusenet.com...
<sni . . .i . . . i . . . .i . . . ip>

> hey buddy,when are you going to learn?
> woman are not to be trusted with your heart.
> stop setting yourself up.
> it is not worth it.
> hell,it only took me 20-odd years to figure it out-but now I am WAY WISER!

Older, wiser, but still posting messages twice. Bifocals are off then I
guess.

Rambler

[Rambler]

"NUNIA" <NU...@BUSSINESS.NET> wrote in message

news:Nt8ta.44992$fM2....@fe07.atl2.webusenet.com...
><snip . . i . . .ip>

> hey buddy,when are you going to learn?
> woman are not to be trusted with your heart.
> stop setting yourself up.
> it is not worth it.
> hell,it only took me 20-odd years to figure it out-but now I am WAY WISER!

And this would be by the time you got to be 20?

Rambler

[NUNIA]

"Rambler" <iam.removes...@yahoo.removespam.com> wrote in message
news:b93bqm$p...@imsp212.netvigator.com...

so-that makes you what?12?
>

[NUNIA]

"Rambler" <iam.removes...@yahoo.removespam.com> wrote in message

news:b93bt2$n...@imsp212.netvigator.com...

ya,that's it keep assuming oh stupid one.
every once in a while my isp goes a little nutty.
your just asking for it,aint ya?
keep pushing me ya mental midget, I will focus my attention on you.

[Minkster]

These words seem to ring a little.
Wish i had the same strenth as some of you at the moment.

"Xenos" <BaB...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:3EB4F3A3...@hotmail.com...

[Minkster]

Thanks Temily!
Nothing but common sense in what you say there.
I gave her committment because that is what she wanted,
she kept telling me that i was the one for her, that she wanted me
and all that good stuff. Made me secure, made me feel like i SHOULD
let go.

I wish i had the strength to write her that note, but her words keep
ringing in my ears.........about giving her time. And then i think of
the times my words of warmth are ignored. I am confused.

I know i should let her go out of my mind, it's been 10 weeks after all.
Suppose i'm just not ready to send it.

Thanks for the advice, i really appreciate it!

"Temily" <tem...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:D87ta.1905$_o4....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

[Minkster]

"Roger B." <rcblin...@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
news:8m7ta.39867$q41....@fe10.atl2.webusenet.com...

> Its a shame, but you chose someone who had problems
> which you could not overcome. How often do we fall
> for the line, "Love conquers all?" Sorry, but it don't.
>
> Now, all you are is needy and desperate. It happens to
> the best of us. You have two choices: (a) Continue as
> you are, or (b) take your life back and move on. [Rog']
>
>

Thanks for repling Roger!

I feel very needy and desperate at the moment.
She's on my mind most of the time unless i manage
to get sleep. Everything keeps going through my head.
Thoughts rushing for an outlet that usually ends in the
same tears that are consuming me as i write.

The advice that has been given to me on this
group, is so......common sense. Just can't
seem to see it from here.

I'll try to take my life back, not sure how, but i'll try

Thanks Mate!

[Minkster]

Denise.

I want to RANT!! I want to speak to her.
I want to be heard, but i somehow know it'll do no good.

Your'e right, it sure as hell don't feel like
i'll get out of this, even tho' i know i will.

It's been a great sunny weekend here where i live.
The kind that we used to head off on.

The hardest part is not knowing where she, who
she's with, are her problems still affecting her.

I'll never know why she felt she had to completely
reject me, she told me it was not because of me,
but her........cop out or the truth? Who in hell knows.

Thanks for your words

"Denise F. Hayden" <dfha...@iquest.net> wrote in message
news:hc8ta.51$T4....@news.iquest.net...

[Minkster]

> hey buddy,when are you going to learn?
> woman are not to be trusted with your heart.
> stop setting yourself up.
> it is not worth it.
> hell,it only took me 20-odd years to figure it out-but now I am WAY WISER!
>
>
>

Thing is Nunia, i never set myself up.
It took me so long to let her know she was right.
So long because i had already been hurt in divorce.

It feels like she chased me until i gave in,
then she lost it............

[JustMeHere]

I'm sorry you are hurting. You're right, in the eye of the storm, knowing
these things will pass brings little comfort. You also know that life goes
on, and that you WILL be alright. Protect yourself while you are in this
vulnerable state, and take care.

Best wishes,
Ann C

"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message
news:b92p69$rq9$1...@sparta.btinternet.com...

[Minkster]

I wish i knew how to protect myself!
Everything hurts........................
I know i will be alright, i know it.
But where i am hurts like hell.

Thanks for your words

"JustMeHere" <don'tbo...@nomail.com> wrote in message
news:Zpcta.27962$8e7.1...@twister.austin.rr.com...

[Xenos]

I learnt by making mistakes first.
I had last year a short relation to a woman who was lying to me, making false promises and was somehow able to steal my heart. I was then phoning her, asking to reconsider but to no avail.
My new girlfriend through me out yesterday. She was accusing me falsely and was screaming it me then she was calling a taxi and forced me to take my stuff with me.
Then she was sending me text messages some hours later. I did not answer them it first.
This morning she called me but I did not answer the phone.
 I did not beg her to give me a second change.
I accepted the fact that it is over. At midday she was asking fore forgiveness and saying that she was a stupid cow. Then she asked me if I could visit her." She needs my hugs and I could sleep over night at her place ".
I did not go to her place. This time I did listen to my guts.

[inky]

In article <8m7ta.39867$q41....@fe10.atl2.webusenet.com>, "Roger B." <rcblin...@bellsouth.net> wrote:
>Its a shame, but you chose someone who had problems
>which you could not overcome. How often do we fall
> for the line, "Love conquers all?" Sorry, but it don't.

My feelings too, Roger. Far too often it seems that people think that having
a SO will solve all their problems. It doesn't. We have someone to share our
ups and downs with, but it's unfair to expect a spouse to "fix" everything in
our life. People like that go into a marriage expecting something that just
isn't going to be and it's doomed from the start. Expecting a spouse to be
the cure-all to all the ills in a person's life is unrealistic. It's still
important to reach out to others and within ourselves for answers, not lay it
all upon the spouse.

Anyway, to the OP, maybe this was for the better for now. Who knows what may
happen when some time passes. good luck.

[inky]

In article <b93k3r$kgs$1...@titan.btinternet.com>, "Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote:
>I wish i knew how to protect myself!
>Everything hurts........................
>I know i will be alright, i know it.
>But where i am hurts like hell.

I'm so sorry you're hurting...
I'd offer you a cyber ((hug)) but those don't work all that well.
Take care of yourself.

[Minkster]

OH GOD!
My ex wife just walked out the damn door.
She turned up in tears.......The guy she left
me for turned out to be a rhinestone instead
of a glittering diamond type thing.
She wanted advice, christ, from me of all people.
i think i realised something, but i'm not sure what.

The one i long for called me, just to see how i was
doing. Told her i was fine, a little bruised but fine.

Now i am a little less tearful, i showed no signs of upset.
Told her i'm trying to move on and get some good in
my life..........oh i think i did some good for myself.
T'was so good to hear her voice though.

Inky, even cyber hugs CAN help.
This has been a very strange 24 hours, glad you guys are
here........i have been going back over my posts and yours. Thanks!

Thanks group!!

"inky" <nob...@no.nothing> wrote in message
news:0Udta.616$eJ2.249@fed1read07...

[Minkster]

Saucer of milk?

"Rambler" <iam.removes...@yahoo.removespam.com> wrote in message

news:b93bqm$p...@imsp212.netvigator.com...

[Denise F. Hayden]

Thank God she walked out the door..........

Denise

"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message

news:b94a46$ftf$1...@sparta.btinternet.com...

[Strontium]

"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message

news:b94a46$ftf$1...@sparta.btinternet.com...

> OH GOD!
> My ex wife just walked out the damn door.
> She turned up in tears.......The guy she left
> me for turned out to be a rhinestone instead
> of a glittering diamond type thing.
> She wanted advice, christ, from me of all people.
> i think i realised something, but i'm not sure what.

I know that feeling, well. Make sure that you take the lesson from it.
And, it is not the bitter lesson that some others (I will not name names) in
this group would have you believe. Keep this phrase, in mind: "Fool me
once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me". I've had my ex banging on
my door, after Mr. Wonderful turned out to be a jerk. I'm just very
thankful that is was well after I came to grips with who she is. And,
knowing such, would never in a million years take her back. I may have not
moved on, completely. But, well enough to not be burned by that individual,
again.

[Minkster]

Oh yes..............
I have not seen her for weeks, only to pick
up and drop off my son.

"Denise F. Hayden" <dfha...@iquest.net> wrote in message

news:19ita.64$T4....@news.iquest.net...

[Minkster]

"Strontium" <ab...@your.isp.com> wrote in message
news:TYOcnXaNUuj...@giganews.com...

>
> "Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message
> news:b94a46$ftf$1...@sparta.btinternet.com...
> > OH GOD!
> > My ex wife just walked out the damn door.
> > She turned up in tears.......The guy she left
> > me for turned out to be a rhinestone instead
> > of a glittering diamond type thing.
> > She wanted advice, christ, from me of all people.
> > i think i realised something, but i'm not sure what.
>
> I know that feeling, well. Make sure that you take the lesson from it.
> And, it is not the bitter lesson that some others (I will not name names)
in
> this group would have you believe. Keep this phrase, in mind: "Fool me
> once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me". I've had my ex banging
on
> my door, after Mr. Wonderful turned out to be a jerk. I'm just very
> thankful that is was well after I came to grips with who she is. And,
> knowing such, would never in a million years take her back. I may have
not
> moved on, completely. But, well enough to not be burned by that
individual,
> again.
>

I think we are of the same mind.........I am still taking
stock of it all.............02:15 here, and only now am i
becoming annoyed at her sudden arrival.
This is gonna sound hateful.......BUT......kind
of gives me a luke warm glow knowing the woman
that cleaned me out emotionally and financially,
now knows a little of my pain.
Still, she's the mother of my son...........

To admit to not having fully moved on, takes a
big man. I wish you well Stronters!

What a weird 24hrs i've had

[bbqstain]

"NUNIA" <NU...@BUSSINESS.NET> wrote in message
news:Nt8ta.44992$fM2....@fe07.atl2.webusenet.com...
>

At least he tried. Trust is a 2 way street ... love doesn't exist without
trust ... she opened his eyes for all the right reasons ... sounds like you
yourself have yet to do that ... life is a risk ... until you overcome the
fear and take the risk, your experiences will always shoot you in the foot
... or heart ... its all about attitude ... I believe everything happens for
a reason and the sooner you accept that there is a really good reason why
things have happened to you as they have, the sooner you will be enjoying
your so-called life again. Its all about the choices you make.

[Strontium]

"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message

news:b94eal$lgg$1...@sparta.btinternet.com...

>
> "Strontium" <ab...@your.isp.com> wrote in message
> news:TYOcnXaNUuj...@giganews.com...
> >

<snip>

> > I know that feeling, well. Make sure that you take the lesson from it.
> > And, it is not the bitter lesson that some others (I will not name
names)
> in
> > this group would have you believe. Keep this phrase, in mind: "Fool me
> > once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me". I've had my ex
banging
> on
> > my door, after Mr. Wonderful turned out to be a jerk. I'm just very
> > thankful that is was well after I came to grips with who she is. And,
> > knowing such, would never in a million years take her back. I may have
> not
> > moved on, completely. But, well enough to not be burned by that
> individual,
> > again.
> >
> I think we are of the same mind.........I am still taking
> stock of it all.............02:15 here, and only now am i
> becoming annoyed at her sudden arrival.
> This is gonna sound hateful.......BUT......kind
> of gives me a luke warm glow knowing the woman
> that cleaned me out emotionally and financially,
> now knows a little of my pain.
> Still, she's the mother of my son...........

I know, exactly, what you mean. One of the things that I told mine was that
she would NEVER understand what I went through. Which, oddly enough, is
very true. I won't go into the reasons. But, I'm sure you can garner some
gist of it. She may have a taste of it. But, being the type of person she
has proven to be, leaves me with the knowledge that she won't. It's
perfectly natural to feel, at least some, glee that the ex has gotten
come-uppance. And, in my true form, I quote Sublime:

"It all comes back to you, you're bound to get what you deserve. Try and
test that, you're bound to get served..."

In my mind, there are two different kinds of people. Those that love,
fully, and unselfishly. And, those that love based on need and 'fair
weather'. You don't have to ask me which one my ex was. I was the one
trying to kill myself, for over a year, while she was off on a sail boat in
the Caribbean... But, I digress :) The past belongs right there, in the
past :)

>
> To admit to not having fully moved on, takes a
> big man. I wish you well Stronters!

You, too dude. Keep a chin up. It's not an easy road. But, you will get
through. You will get by, with the help of friends, family, and even
strangers. I lurked on this newsgroup, for well over a year. It has not
been a cure-all. In fact, in the early stages it just plain hurt to even
see someone else telling their story. I was too damned steeped in my own
pain. But, eventually, I came to realize that I gained something from it.
I hope you do, too.

>
> What a weird 24hrs i've had
>
>

Don't worry, it get's weird-er.

[Rambler]

"NUNIA" <NU...@BUSSINESS.NET> wrote in message

news:nAbta.56386$U94....@fe06.atl2.webusenet.com...

Oops. Quake. Now I'm scared. Single focus eh?

naw, too easy.

Rambler

[Strontium]

"bbqstain" <bbs...@unknown.com> wrote in message
news:zGjta.64538$U94....@fe06.atl2.webusenet.com...
>
<snip flamewar>

>
> At least he tried. Trust is a 2 way street ... love doesn't exist without
> trust ... she opened his eyes for all the right reasons ... sounds like
you
> yourself have yet to do that ... life is a risk ... until you overcome the
> fear and take the risk, your experiences will always shoot you in the foot
> ... or heart ... its all about attitude ... I believe everything happens
for
> a reason and the sooner you accept that there is a really good reason why
> things have happened to you as they have, the sooner you will be enjoying
> your so-called life again. Its all about the choices you make.
>
>
>

Hear! Hear! Learning to make wiser choices, is what it is all about. Some
learn, early. Some, like me, don't learn until we are lying on the couch
with tons of sleeping pills and White Russians doing projectile stunts from
our stomaches and landing all over our shorts... (okay, maybe just me).

Yet, I quote, again:

Limp Bizkit - "Life is a lesson. You learn it, when you're through."

[Exray]

Minkster, one of the things under the surface here is a matter of who you
use to determine your own worth as a person. Do you use yourself, your own
standards, or do you use the views others have of you?

In real life, of course, most people do a combination of these. From time
to time the balance between the two seems to tilt heavily one way or
another, and those strike me as very unhealthy times.

You've empowered this woman, this one you long for, as the arbiter of your
value as a person. I think your sense is that if she viewed you as she
should, then she'd rush back to you, that this nightmare wouldn't be
happening. I think your sense is that she sees something awful in you that
she won't or can't reveal and that you don't see in yourself.

Not easily done, but you have to begin to restore the balance, to disempower
her as one whose judgment of you is deeply integrated into your own judgment
of yourself, and to move that power toward where it belongs, in your own
sense of your own value.

[Minkster]

Well she phoned again this morning.
Told me she loved me, missed and cared about me.
BUT.........oh and it's a biggun!!
She is not IN love with me.

Time to move on methinks.......................
Gaaaad it hurts, it hurts like F*****G hell!!!!

Thanks for reading people!

Minkster!

"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message

[inky]

In article <b961r1$9ao$1...@sparta.btinternet.com>, "Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote:
>Well she phoned again this morning.
>Told me she loved me, missed and cared about me.
>BUT.........oh and it's a biggun!!
>She is not IN love with me.

how classic.

>
>Time to move on methinks.......................
>Gaaaad it hurts, it hurts like F*****G hell!!!!

I think that you're right. I'm sorry, this must be painful.
Stick with this group, there's good support here and people who understand
your pain.

[Minkster]

Thank you inky.

[Roger B.]

"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote...

> Well she phoned again this morning.
> Told me she loved me, missed and cared about me.
> BUT.........oh and it's a biggun!!
> She is not IN love with me.

-------------
Translation: See, I'm so kind hearted and caring.
I'm not bad. I'm really a good person 'cuz I care.
IOW, this isn't about you or how you feel. Rather,
its her attempt to avoid feeling bad.. about herself.

You now have an opportunity to remake your future.
I suspect that in time, you'll actually find that you
turn out to be a better person for it... I think that I
did. [Roger]

[bbqstain]

Well said Roger.

"Roger B." <rcblin...@bellsouth.net> wrote in message

news:1Hzta.1417$QX....@fe02.atl2.webusenet.com...

[Casey]

Minkster said for all posterity...

> Well she phoned again this morning.
> Told me she loved me, missed and cared about me.
> BUT.........oh and it's a biggun!!
> She is not IN love with me.

This is never a good development.

> Time to move on methinks.......................

Yep. It sounds she pretty much told you that.

> Gaaaad it hurts, it hurts like F*****G hell!!!!

It really does. Been there, done that.

Now your life is up to you. She's taken herself out of the
picture. If you really make an effort to dig yourself out of
this, you can. And eventually you'll look back and be proud of
yourself for having done it.

Casey

I started with nothing. I still have most of it.

[Rambler]

"Roger B." <rcblin...@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
news:1Hzta.1417$QX....@fe02.atl2.webusenet.com...

Yep, very well said. The "I love you but I am not in love with you" is a
classic comment. Wish that somebody had said the above to me ("It is her
attempt to avoid feeling bad about herself") because it would have saved me
a couple of months of going, "What in the h*ll did she mean by that ?!?!)

Rambler

[Casey]

Rambler said for all posterity...

My humble opinion is that it usually means, "Warning: since I just
told you I'm not in love with you, even a dumbass should realize
that we have no future."

[Rambler]

"Casey" <c...@cox.netremove> wrote in message
news:uHBta.28453$3n5....@news2.central.cox.net...

Seeing as I didn't realize it, guess that means I am not a dumbass. I knew
I could squeeze honey out of a lemon if you just gave me long enough.

Rambler

[Minkster]

"Casey" <c...@cox.netremove> wrote in message
news:uHBta.28453$3n5....@news2.central.cox.net...

How right you are!
My back is turning and i'm moving on!

[bbqstain]

"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message

news:b96se3$5na$1...@hercules.btinternet.com...

>
>
> How right you are!
> My back is turning and i'm moving on!
>
>

You Go Boy!!! ;-D

[Roger B.]

"Rambler" <iam.removes...@yahoo.removespam.com> wrote ...
>
> "Casey" <c...@cox.netremove> wrote ...
> > ... even a dumbass should realize...

>
> Seeing as I didn't realize it, guess that means I am not a dumbass.

-----------------------
You mean, "not [even] a dumbass."
Well, many of us have BTDT. The person in whom we've placed
our faith, trust, hopes, dreams and desires, morphs into a distant
stranger before our eyes. Its difficult to grok. Our universe
changes and we are strangers in a strange land (nod to Heinlein).
We want a rope to grab onto, but its not there from the one we
counted on. Its always gonna be hard to accept. [Rog']

[Casey]

Minkster said for all posterity...
>

> "Casey" <c...@cox.netremove> wrote in message

> > My humble opinion is that it usually means, "Warning: since I just

> > told you I'm not in love with you, even a dumbass should realize
> > that we have no future."
>
> How right you are!
> My back is turning and i'm moving on!

Good, since it seems you have no choice. Doing otherwise is
refusing to accept reality.

Reality bites (ah, a movie title), but ignoring reality is even
worse.

[Rambler]

"Roger B." <rcblin...@bellsouth.net> wrote in message

news:YFDta.9842$IJ4....@fe05.atl2.webusenet.com...

Grokking. Man, it's been a while to that one. Loved that book. Actually
read a ton of Heineken, I mean Heinlein, when I was a kid.

>
>
>

[Casey]

Rambler said for all posterity...
>

Yep, I did too. I liked his books.

You've probably seen this quote before, but I've always thought it
was rather interesting:

"Fulfillment in life is loving a good woman and killing a bad man."
- Robert Heinlein

Casey

[NUNIA]

"Fulfillment in life is loving a good woman and killing a bad man."
- Robert Heinlein

better yet-just killing a bad woman!

[Minkster]

Thank heavens other people have felt this way.
It helps

I slept last night.

"Roger B." <rcblin...@bellsouth.net> wrote in message

news:YFDta.9842$IJ4....@fe05.atl2.webusenet.com...

[Rambler]

"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message

news:b97jph$s4q$1...@hercules.btinternet.com...

> Thank heavens other people have felt this way.
> It helps
>
> I slept last night.

You slept! I am so f'ing envious. I have, for some reason, stopped
sleeping. Woke up this morning because I was having a dream that my eldest
was in tears, 12,000 miles away.

Rambler

[inky]

In article <b97nk5$rk...@imsp212.netvigator.com>, "Rambler" <iam.removes...@yahoo.removespam.com> wrote:
>
>"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message
>news:b97jph$s4q$1...@hercules.btinternet.com...
>> Thank heavens other people have felt this way.
>> It helps
>>
>> I slept last night.
>
>You slept! I am so f'ing envious. I have, for some reason, stopped
>sleeping. Woke up this morning because I was having a dream that my eldest
>was in tears, 12,000 miles away.

Sleep? Is that something you can actually have without Xanax? (but be
careful, oxazepam will make you dream of pink rats that know the meaning of
the universe... xanax is definitely better than that)

[Rambler]

"inky" <nob...@no.nothing> wrote in message
news:TzJta.15911$eJ2.8681@fed1read07...

Hey, at least for me it is 4:30 in the afternoon. At 12:30 at night, you're
up late!

Rambler

[inky]

Yeah, i can't sleep. I hate the nights lately.

[Lomax]

In article <b97jph$s4q$1...@hercules.btinternet.com>, Rather...@out.com
says...

That's a damn good way of summing things up.

Fortunaly sleep has been coming easier these days.

EATING however, isn't. The D diet is quite effective.

[Minkster]

Wow!
I am sorry.

"Rambler" <iam.removes...@yahoo.removespam.com> wrote in message

news:b97nk5$rk...@imsp212.netvigator.com...

[Minkster]

Eating?
Well, since the 22nd February (when it all blew up)
i have lost two and a half stone .........For you non brits
out there, thats about 35 pounds. The stress diet, i
think they are calling it.
Some days i'll have just a roll and butter, few cups of
tea and little else. Still, feels good to have lost some
poundage.

"Lomax" <te...@noplace.et> wrote in message
news:MPG.19217c443...@news.tds.net...

[NUNIA]

"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message

news:b99518$q62$1...@titan.btinternet.com...

> Eating?
> Well, since the 22nd February (when it all blew up)
> i have lost two and a half stone .........For you non brits
> out there, thats about 35 pounds. The stress diet, i
> think they are calling it.
> Some days i'll have just a roll and butter, few cups of
> tea and little else. Still, feels good to have lost some
> poundage.

I dig the weight loss thing.
when my "better half" did me in,I did not eat for a month-no bull.
I drank lots of coffee and water during the day,and after work I drank booze
like a fish.
I eat ok now.
I lost alot of weight and cant seem to gain it back.

[Rambler]

"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message

news:b99518$q62$1...@titan.btinternet.com...

> Eating?
> Well, since the 22nd February (when it all blew up)
> i have lost two and a half stone .........For you non brits
> out there, thats about 35 pounds. The stress diet, i
> think they are calling it.
> Some days i'll have just a roll and butter, few cups of
> tea and little else. Still, feels good to have lost some
> poundage.

Yes, I did this too. And as Nunia said, good amount of booze as well.
However, really not healthy. Great that you lose the weight, because your
body clock is ticking over at double time. I, however, very quickly started
forcing myself to eat - would cook dinner and sit down at the table, even
though it all tasted like cardboard (and it wasn't my cooking, alright!). I
still lost the weight.

Hopefully, you'll get to a point where you begin to care about yourself and
you'll say, "I want to get rid of all the crap I've put on during the
marriage," and then you'll start focusing on yourself in a positive way.
That's when you begin to move, because you are getting on with *your* life.

Rambler

[Suzanne]

Rambler pondered a bit and then came up with...

<snip>

>
> Hopefully, you'll get to a point where you begin to care about yourself and
> you'll say, "I want to get rid of all the crap I've put on during the
> marriage," and then you'll start focusing on yourself in a positive way.
> That's when you begin to move, because you are getting on with *your* life.

WONDERFUL paragraph! This is what happened to me. I still have rough
days, but I can mentally feel the divorce leaving me.

--
Suzanne

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too
dark to read.
--Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)

[Minkster]

"NUNIA" <NU...@BUSSINESS.NET> wrote in message
news:G9Vta.927$F02...@fe03.atl2.webusenet.com...

Hey!
Well at least some good came of it........ :o)

[Minkster]

Hi Groupsters!

Dunno if this is the start of things.........
But.
I didn't cry today! I didn't.
Even had a good day at work............
Had a couple of beers with some friends earlier tonight,
and actually enjoyed being out, laughing.......I have hardly
thought of her today.
Not getting too confident, but i feel so much better today.

What will tomorrow hold!?

[Strontium]

"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message

news:b9c3c4$9jh$1...@hercules.btinternet.com...

Good idea. It's hills and valleys, for some time to come. It's like a sine
wave. For those that don't know what that is... It's a wave that
represents a signal, be it sound, or any electromagnetic frequency. What
defines a wavelength is the distance between one top (hill) of a wave to the
next. The shorter the distance, the higher the frequency (the less time it
takes for that wave to travel to the next 'hill top'). With time, all waves
eventually lengthen. Gradually increasing the distance between each 'hill
top'. Hence, the valleys become less 'frequent'. In the end, it becomes a
straight line. No ups, no downs. Just level. What a nice place that would
be.

This is the way I like to analogize the process of heartbreak. Over time,
we find that the valleys become far and few, in between. It takes time and
lots of other things, though. I still have bad days. But, refer to my
analogy above...they are far and few, in between.

:)

>
> What will tomorrow hold!?
>
>

[Bill in CO]

Nice analogy, but a bit of a stretch... to wit:

What do you mean "the wavelength lessens with time"?
The wavelength, lambda = v/f, and that's it. (No "time lengthening" in
there).

[Strontium]

In real life, waves weaken (lengthen) over distance and time (due to things
like walls, air, natural dissipation of energy). Pick up an instrumental
chemistry or engineering physics book and read (try the section on wave
mechanics). This is why radio waves do not carry much farther than the
curvature of the earth, without the help of satellites.

In a vacuum, you are correct. I prefer to think that I am not in a vacuum.
We would all explode, if that were so.

"Bill in CO" <no...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:jTgua.61205$4P1.5...@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net...

[Strontium]

Oh, and by the by it's lamda = h * nu (where nu = 1/v and h is a constant)

"Strontium" <ab...@your.isp.com> wrote in message
news:dcidneW2t_x...@giganews.com...

[Strontium]

And yes, I typo'd...it's lambda.

"Strontium" <ab...@your.isp.com> wrote in message

news:0SudnTsz8eS...@giganews.com...

[Bill in CO]

From E&M theory (for electromagnetic waves):
Lambda (wavelength) = v/f (v = velocity of propagation, f = frequency)
I rest my case. Oh NO! How am I talking now? Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

[Lauri]

Yes! This is the start of things. :) This day will give you hope
the next time you have a dark day, because you'll remember today and
know that there will be more days like this. Pretty soon, days like
today will outnumber sad days, and won't THAT be great!

Lauri in WA
>

I like my email spamless

[Strontium]

You miss one point, Bill.

Lambda = h * nu (where h is a constant)

Disprove me, on that.

I really want whatever it is that you are taking, dude. That must be some
really good shit.

But, that is aside from your original argument that waves do not lengthen,
over time. I stated that, unless in a vacuum, that is not true. Now, how
are you talking? I would, really, like to know.

"Bill in CO" <no...@earthlink.net> wrote in message

news:sAiua.61405$4P1.5...@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net...

[Bill in CO]

Strontium wrote:
> You miss one point, Bill.
>
> Lambda = h * nu (where h is a constant)
>
> Disprove me, on that.
>
> I really want whatever it is that you are taking, dude. That must be some
> really good shit.
>
>
> But, that is aside from your original argument that waves do not lengthen,
> over time. I stated that, unless in a vacuum, that is not true. Now, how
> are you talking? I would, really, like to know.

They don't lengthen with time. Show me such an equation, with length in it.
(I'm not talking about relativity theory here, or anything ethereal like that).

As I said, the wavelength equation is *simply* Lambda = velocity (in the
medium, whatever the medium is) divided by the frequency. Lambda = v/f
That's all there is to it. Period. Meaning, if you give me the frequency
and the medium, I can tell you its wavelength, end of story. I'm talking
about *electromagnetic waves*. Sound waves may be a different matter.

[Suzanne]

Bill in CO pondered a bit and then came up with...

> >
> > I really want whatever it is that you are taking, dude. That must be some
> > really good shit.
> >
> >
> > But, that is aside from your original argument that waves do not lengthen,
> > over time. I stated that, unless in a vacuum, that is not true. Now, how
> > are you talking? I would, really, like to know.
>
> They don't lengthen with time. Show me such an equation, with length in it.
> (I'm not talking about relativity theory here, or anything ethereal like that).
>
> As I said, the wavelength equation is *simply* Lambda = velocity (in the
> medium, whatever the medium is) divided by the frequency. Lambda = v/f
> That's all there is to it. Period. Meaning, if you give me the frequency
> and the medium, I can tell you its wavelength, end of story. I'm talking
> about *electromagnetic waves*. Sound waves may be a different matter.

Oh, please, stop it. You two are... yawn... oh, sorry, you two are
turning me on.

[Rambler]

It is a question of superiority and who is right and better.

I do it too, but I thought this was a good telling argument.

Rambler

"Strontium" <ab...@your.isp.com> wrote in message

news:T4ydnVlUwvj...@giganews.com...

[Rambler]

"Lauri" <res0...@spamlessverizon.net> wrote in message
news:nuejbvg8qq0a348mr...@4ax.com...

Problem that I have is that when you are having one of those dark days, it
is almost impossible to remember the good ones. Think I need to think on
that.

Rambler

[Strontium]

"Bill in CO" <no...@earthlink.net> wrote in message

news:5vjua.60591$ey1.5...@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net...

> Strontium wrote:
> > You miss one point, Bill.
> >
> > Lambda = h * nu (where h is a constant)
> >
> > Disprove me, on that.
> >
> > I really want whatever it is that you are taking, dude. That must be
some
> > really good shit.
> >
> >
> > But, that is aside from your original argument that waves do not
lengthen,
> > over time. I stated that, unless in a vacuum, that is not true. Now,
how
> > are you talking? I would, really, like to know.
>
> They don't lengthen with time. Show me such an equation, with length in
it.
> (I'm not talking about relativity theory here, or anything ethereal like
that).

I'm not talking about equations, silly. I'm talking about the application
of hard laws to real life. Your argument is based on a 'laboratory'
setting. Or, is the combination of abstract intelect with physical science
a mystery for you?

>
> As I said, the wavelength equation is *simply* Lambda = velocity (in
the
> medium, whatever the medium is) divided by the frequency. Lambda = v/f
> That's all there is to it. Period. Meaning, if you give me the
frequency
> and the medium, I can tell you its wavelength, end of story. I'm
talking
> about *electromagnetic waves*. Sound waves may be a different matter.

You, still, are using the consumer-chemistry form of that equation (shrug).
Take P-Chem. I rest my case.

<SNIP...don't wanna turn Suz on, anymore >:) >

[Bill in CO]

Yeah, it's getting a bit hot in here, and we're not even in Houston. Or wait
a minute, I guess you two are.....

[Bill in CO]

It's a question of "...fighting for truth and justice, and the .....way"
(Superman, circa 1950's (actually before, if you go the comic strip route)

BTW - he's wrong, and I rest my case.

[Pamela]

Dear Minkster,

You wrote the words that have been written so many times by so many
others. You expressed the feelings that have broken the hearts of so many
others. And, you have asked the question that we have all asked at one time
or another, "why, why, why?"

But, you know the answer. We always do. She was not committed to you as
much as she was committed to her own fears. And, even though she wanted so
much to be with you, to live with you, to share a life with you, at the end
of the day, her fear overcame her love for you.
That's why she went right up to the end like that. That's why she fled.
She was not ready and she knew that.

That reason we ask why is because we think if we have a concrete reason
that we can understand than there might be something we can do about it. We
can change or we can do something differently. If only we knew why. The
reason we never know why is because the reason is never so simple. It's not
what you did, or how you did it, or what she did, or how she did it. You
can't fix it, only the person leaving can fix it. When the person leaving
want's to fix it, they always tell you what's wrong.

I wouldn't continue to try to contact her. I wouldn't write that last
letter. When someone is in the state it sounds like she is in (based on
what I cull from your postings) then they can be very vulnerable and very
unstable. Meaning her feelings could fluctuate with the state of where she
is. She may need to run to you when she is feeling unsafe, and she may then
run away again when she is feeling frightened by a committment. Then you are
in the same place all over again, and sometimes, again, and again. Let her
be. Do not hold on for your own sake. do not write letter's telling her
you will be there. Do not do anything. Go on and live without her.

Yes, this is hard. You know it. We know it. It's hard. It hurts and it
makes you feel nauseaus and sick inside. But, let her go because she really
wasn't ready for you. If you hold on, even if you got her back, would you
want someone who wasn't ready to really love you? You wouldn't because
eventually that person would leave you anyway.

She still has to heal in many other ways. She has to become a whole person
in her own right, before she can be part of a union with you.

Don't give yourself away cheaply. Ride this through. You can do it.

Pamela

"Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message

news:b93iup$itp$1...@titan.btinternet.com...
> Denise.
>
> I want to RANT!! I want to speak to her.
> I want to be heard, but i somehow know it'll do no good.
>
> Your'e right, it sure as hell don't feel like
> i'll get out of this, even tho' i know i will.
>
> It's been a great sunny weekend here where i live.
> The kind that we used to head off on.
>
> The hardest part is not knowing where she, who
> she's with, are her problems still affecting her.
>
> I'll never know why she felt she had to completely
> reject me, she told me it was not because of me,
> but her........cop out or the truth? Who in hell knows.
>
> Thanks for your words
>
>
> "Denise F. Hayden" <dfha...@iquest.net> wrote in message
> news:hc8ta.51$T4....@news.iquest.net...
> > You know this grief is survivable. The problem is that while you may
know
> > that, it sure as hell doesn't FEEL that way. So, just take it a day at a
> > time, visit here and rant and post......it will pass in time. My only
bit
> of
> > advice....stay uninvolved with women for a while. Take this time for a
lot
> > of self-examination and evaluation.
> >
> > Denise

> >
> > "Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message

> > news:b92p69$rq9$1...@sparta.btinternet.com...
> > > Hi Group!
> > >
> > > I got divorced nearly four years ago and
> > > would read posts here, they helped me
> > > understand what i thought i was not able to.
> > >
> > > I then met a wonderful woman who turned me round.
> > > She showed me i could love, trust and above all.......
> > > BE HAPPY.
> > >
> > > We were all set, she loved me, she kept telling me
> > > just how much i meant. We started buying a house.
> > > Then, one night, i was woken up. Told "i can't do this."
> > > She walked out of my life, telling me the situation
> > > reminded her of her past marriage,,,,,you see, she was
> > > badly abused by her ex, in ways i could never repeat here
> > > or anywhere.
> > > I tried to understand, tried to let her know i understood.
> > > I think i overdid it, she soon asked me to stop calling her.
> > > I tried, but the need to just hear her voice was all
> > > consuming. She was very hurt by past memories that our
> > > committment to eachother had stirred. I was hurt that she
> > > couldn't or even wouldn't tell me if i was still loved or wanted.
> > > I wanted to know those things. She said move on, but when
> > > asked if she wanted me to meet another, she said NO. After a
> > > while she said she still loved me and cared, even missed me.
> > > But, when pressed to see if we could start again, given a little
> > > time and space i was unable to for the first few weeks........
> > > She wouldn't answer.
> > >
> > > Now she has changed her numbers, told me she'll call
> > > mid july............when i sent her an email telling her just
> > > how much she meant to me and that i would wait for
> > > her for as long as it took.........................It was ignored.
> > >
> > > Don't know why i am writing this. All the feelings i had before
> > > have smacked me in the face. I am now having counselling, on
> > > Anti-D's, don't want to go anywhere or see anyone. I sit and
> > > cry like a baby.
> > > It's been two months, i am in a state. I know these things pass.
> > > But it's hell in the eye of the storm.
> > >
> > > Never thought i would feel this crushing grief ever again.
> > >
> > > If u read this, thanks
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
>
>
>

[Strontium]

You're a poopy head :P

I win.

"Bill in CO" <no...@earthlink.net> wrote in message

news:v9kua.60636$ey1.5...@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net...

[Suzanne]

Bill in CO pondered a bit and then came up with...

> >>

> >> As I said, the wavelength equation is *simply* Lambda = velocity (in the
> >> medium, whatever the medium is) divided by the frequency. Lambda = v/f
> >> That's all there is to it. Period. Meaning, if you give me the
> >> frequency and the medium, I can tell you its wavelength, end of story.
> >> I'm talking about *electromagnetic waves*. Sound waves may be a different
> >> matter.
> >
> > You, still, are using the consumer-chemistry form of that equation (shrug).
> > Take P-Chem. I rest my case.
> >
> >
> > <SNIP...don't wanna turn Suz on, anymore >:) >
>
> Yeah, it's getting a bit hot in here, and we're not even in Houston. Or wait
> a minute, I guess you two are.....

No, I'm still in Florida. But it's hot here too and not because of the
two of you. :)

[Minkster]

"Pamela" <Pam...@msnot.com> wrote in message
news:Qkkua.61611$4P1.5...@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net...

Thanks Pamela!

From analysing this myself and reading the replies
from the other regs on this esteemed group, i am
coming round to thinking this way. I haven't cried
today again! Something in me, not sure what it is
has solidified.

Thank you for reading and thinking enough to reply.

Thanks
Minkster

[Minkster]

"Lauri" <res0...@spamlessverizon.net> wrote in message
news:nuejbvg8qq0a348mr...@4ax.com...

Here's hopin'!

Minkster in UK

[Lomax]

In article <b99kiq$el...@imsp212.netvigator.com>,
iam.removes...@yahoo.removespam.com says...

>
> "Minkster" <Rather...@out.com> wrote in message
> news:b99518$q62$1...@titan.btinternet.com...
> > Eating?
> > Well, since the 22nd February (when it all blew up)
> > i have lost two and a half stone .........For you non brits
> > out there, thats about 35 pounds. The stress diet, i
> > think they are calling it.
> > Some days i'll have just a roll and butter, few cups of
> > tea and little else. Still, feels good to have lost some
> > poundage.
>
> Yes, I did this too. And as Nunia said, good amount of booze as well.
> However, really not healthy. Great that you lose the weight, because your
> body clock is ticking over at double time. I, however, very quickly started
> forcing myself to eat - would cook dinner and sit down at the table, even
> though it all tasted like cardboard (and it wasn't my cooking, alright!). I
> still lost the weight.
>
> Hopefully, you'll get to a point where you begin to care about yourself and
> you'll say, "I want to get rid of all the crap I've put on during the
> marriage," and then you'll start focusing on yourself in a positive way.
> That's when you begin to move, because you are getting on with *your* life.
>

No booze here. I stopped drinking when I was 22 oddly enough. I've been
steaming a lot a veggies and I can get that down without any problem.
It's a very good thing I am on Aciphex now as I think my stomach would
have imploded by now. With me, I -HAVE- to get back in shape. It's mando
becuase the Navy says so. Chuckle.
It's something else to focus on though.
Looked at the wife this morning and felt....nothing. Very odd.

[Lomax]

In article <sDydnfpC6qb...@giganews.com>, ab...@your.isp.com
says...

Totally sidestepping the following debate (USE RADAR THEORY..snicker)I
visualize it a tad differently.
It's a calm ppol for me. Somewhere at the bottom is an air source. Every
so often bubbles will float to the surface. For me those are bubbles of
pain and remorse. There's always a trickle these days but every so often
a big one pops up and puts me into a downright funk for a few hours.
Eventually that source will run out. No more bubbles.
Oddly enough the most common trigger is imagry of "happy families".
WHich is how I (and probably most of you) Imagined your lives. Too bad
it turned into flaming rubble.
I am, however, trying to look to the positive in all this. It's hard
though. I go back to work friday and that's a whole new brand of stress.

[Strontium]

"Lomax" <te...@noplace.et> wrote in message
news:MPG.19241e564...@news.tds.net...

Oh! Seeing the other happy couples/families was a killer, for me. Thank
God that that's behind me. To think that it hurt just to see other people,
in public!

[JustMeHere]

It's a start. It took me a long time to be able to do this with my ex. Now
I don't feel anything when I see him OR his new wife.

Ann C

"Lomax" <te...@noplace.et> wrote in message

news:MPG.19241c996...@news.tds.net...

[Suzanne]

JustMeHere pondered a bit and then came up with...

> It's a start. It took me a long time to be able to do this with my ex. Now
> I don't feel anything when I see him OR his new wife.

I feel that way about my ex, but I still haven't seen his wife. Unless
she wants to be eyeball-less, then it'd be wise if she stays away just a
wee bit longer.

I admire you for being able to talk to her and carry on. I'll get there
one day, but I'm nowhere near ready yet.

--

[Suzanne]

Strontium pondered a bit and then came up with...

<snip>

> There's always a trickle these days but every so often
> > a big one pops up and puts me into a downright funk for a few hours.
> > Eventually that source will run out. No more bubbles.
> > Oddly enough the most common trigger is imagry of "happy families".
> > WHich is how I (and probably most of you) Imagined your lives. Too bad
> > it turned into flaming rubble.
>
> Oh! Seeing the other happy couples/families was a killer, for me. Thank
> God that that's behind me. To think that it hurt just to see other people,
> in public!

That was the hardest thing for me. The Home Depot... *the* worst place
to go when you're in that stage.

[Strontium]

Oh man. I was working in a beachfront hotel, in North Carolina (I went
nuts, for a while...quit my job in Houston, moved to NC) . EVERY day, these
happy, successful, couples and families. I felt like screaming, half of the
time!

"Suzanne" <smbho...@cox.netnever> wrote in message
news:xrvua.40492$3n5....@news2.central.cox.net...

[Suzanne]

Strontium pondered a bit and then came up with...

> Oh man. I was working in a beachfront hotel, in North Carolina (I went
> nuts, for a while...quit my job in Houston, moved to NC) . EVERY day, these
> happy, successful, couples and families. I felt like screaming, half of the
> time!

Ironically, it was here, specifically on the beach, that I started to
experience those same feelings again. I thought I was better, and
realized that seeing those families still tore me up.

Divorce recovery is a strange process. Right when you think you have it
nailed, BAM, it hits you right between the eyes.

[Strontium]

Yeah, it can be a real PITA.

"Suzanne" <smbho...@cox.netnever> wrote in message

news:kVvua.40785$3n5....@news2.central.cox.net...

[Bill in CO]

Suzanne wrote:
> Strontium pondered a bit and then came up with...
>
> <snip>
>
>> There's always a trickle these days but every so often
>>> a big one pops up and puts me into a downright funk for a few hours.
>>> Eventually that source will run out. No more bubbles.
>>> Oddly enough the most common trigger is imagry of "happy families".
>>> WHich is how I (and probably most of you) Imagined your lives. Too bad
>>> it turned into flaming rubble.
>>
>> Oh! Seeing the other happy couples/families was a killer, for me. Thank
>> God that that's behind me. To think that it hurt just to see other people,
>> in public!
>
> That was the hardest thing for me. The Home Depot... *the* worst place
> to go when you're in that stage.

The airports and shopping malls (for me) are the worst.

[Suzanne]

Bill in CO pondered a bit and then came up with...

I can see shopping malls, but what is it about airports that get you?
People having people greeting them upon arrival?

I can think of one more; school functions are always tough.

[Lomax]

In article <RBxua.41384$3n5....@news2.central.cox.net>,
smbho...@cox.netnever says...

> Bill in CO pondered a bit and then came up with...
> > Suzanne wrote:
> > > Strontium pondered a bit and then came up with...
> > >
> > > <snip>
> > >
> > >> There's always a trickle these days but every so often
> > >>> a big one pops up and puts me into a downright funk for a few hours.
> > >>> Eventually that source will run out. No more bubbles.
> > >>> Oddly enough the most common trigger is imagry of "happy families".
> > >>> WHich is how I (and probably most of you) Imagined your lives. Too bad
> > >>> it turned into flaming rubble.
> > >>
> > >> Oh! Seeing the other happy couples/families was a killer, for me. Thank
> > >> God that that's behind me. To think that it hurt just to see other people,
> > >> in public!
> > >
> > > That was the hardest thing for me. The Home Depot... *the* worst place
> > > to go when you're in that stage.
> >
> > The airports and shopping malls (for me) are the worst.
>
> I can see shopping malls, but what is it about airports that get you?
> People having people greeting them upon arrival?
>
> I can think of one more; school functions are always tough.
>

Hmm..havn't had the plesure of those yet.
Today was a good day though.
She's making this easy.

[Suzanne]

Lomax pondered a bit and then came up with...

> > > >
> > > >> There's always a trickle these days but every so often
> > > >>> a big one pops up and puts me into a downright funk for a few hours.
> > > >>> Eventually that source will run out. No more bubbles.
> > > >>> Oddly enough the most common trigger is imagry of "happy families".
> > > >>> WHich is how I (and probably most of you) Imagined your lives. Too bad
> > > >>> it turned into flaming rubble.
> > > >>
> > > >> Oh! Seeing the other happy couples/families was a killer, for me. Thank
> > > >> God that that's behind me. To think that it hurt just to see other people,
> > > >> in public!
> > > >
> > > > That was the hardest thing for me. The Home Depot... *the* worst place
> > > > to go when you're in that stage.
> > >
> > > The airports and shopping malls (for me) are the worst.
> >
> > I can see shopping malls, but what is it about airports that get you?
> > People having people greeting them upon arrival?
> >
> > I can think of one more; school functions are always tough.
> >
> Hmm..havn't had the plesure of those yet.
> Today was a good day though.
> She's making this easy.

When I first asked my ex for a divorce, I was happy and content. It
didn't hit me until about one-two months later. When it did, it hit me
hard.

I was alone and I was surrounded by people that weren't. I threw me a
big pity party. Ironically, I was alone there too!

I haven't been able to keep up with all of the posts, so I don't know
your whole story, but I'm glad to see that you're having a better day
today. :)

[Bill in CO]

Suzanne wrote:
> Bill in CO pondered a bit and then came up with...
>> Suzanne wrote:
>>> Strontium pondered a bit and then came up with...
>>>
>>> <snip>
>>>
>>>> There's always a trickle these days but every so often
>>>>> a big one pops up and puts me into a downright funk for a few hours.
>>>>> Eventually that source will run out. No more bubbles.
>>>>> Oddly enough the most common trigger is imagry of "happy families".
>>>>> WHich is how I (and probably most of you) Imagined your lives. Too bad
>>>>> it turned into flaming rubble.
>>>>
>>>> Oh! Seeing the other happy couples/families was a killer, for me. Thank
>>>> God that that's behind me. To think that it hurt just to see other
people,
>>>> in public!
>>>
>>> That was the hardest thing for me. The Home Depot... *the* worst place
>>> to go when you're in that stage.
>>
>> The airports and shopping malls (for me) are the worst.
>
> I can see shopping malls, but what is it about airports that get you?
> People having people greeting them upon arrival?

That too. But just in general, they're all yakking on their cell phones to
their loved ones, and its paraded at a good volume level right in front of you
ALL the time. There is NO escape - these cell phone addicts are in their own
damn world, and they don't give a shit if they can be heard across the waiting
rooms. They think they are the center of the damn universe. It is total
egocentricity and self-centeredness. I hate it. Same thing in the
restaurants. Assholes. Can't be w/o their cell phone or the world would come
to an end, right? Yak yak yak yak yak yak Actually, in a sense, it is
pitiful.

[Suzanne]

Bill in CO pondered a bit and then came up with...

> >>>

> >>> That was the hardest thing for me. The Home Depot... *the* worst place
> >>> to go when you're in that stage.
> >>
> >> The airports and shopping malls (for me) are the worst.
> >
> > I can see shopping malls, but what is it about airports that get you?
> > People having people greeting them upon arrival?
>
> That too. But just in general, they're all yakking on their cell phones to
> their loved ones, and its paraded at a good volume level right in front of you
> ALL the time. There is NO escape - these cell phone addicts are in their own
> damn world, and they don't give a shit if they can be heard across the waiting
> rooms. They think they are the center of the damn universe. It is total
> egocentricity and self-centeredness. I hate it. Same thing in the
> restaurants. Assholes. Can't be w/o their cell phone or the world would come
> to an end, right? Yak yak yak yak yak yak Actually, in a sense, it is
> pitiful.

But tell us how you *really* feel about cell phones, Bill. ;)

[inky]

In article <fWxua.61939$ey1.5...@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net>, "Bill in CO" <no...@earthlink.net> wrote:

>That too. But just in general, they're all yakking on their cell phones to
>their loved ones, and its paraded at a good volume level right in front of you
>ALL the time. There is NO escape - these cell phone addicts are in their own
>damn world, and they don't give a shit if they can be heard across the waiting
>rooms. They think they are the center of the damn universe. It is total
>egocentricity and self-centeredness. I hate it. Same thing in the
>restaurants. Assholes. Can't be w/o their cell phone or the world would come
>to an end, right? Yak yak yak yak yak yak Actually, in a sense, it is
>pitiful.

Bill, get yourself a fake cell phone and walk around with it to your ear and
talk real loud. That might help you feel better about a situation you really
can't control anyway. :-)

[Lomax]

In article <MMxua.41427$3n5....@news2.central.cox.net>,
smbho...@cox.netnever says...

Same sad story as most here. We did the drawn lawyers thing the first
time out. This time we/I knew it was coming and simply let it happen. I,
nor my children, should be subjected to this every 6-8 months.

Yeah, today was a good day...no big bubbles..

Work should help me focus a bit better and fill some of the empty time.

[Suzanne]

Lomax pondered a bit and then came up with...

> > When I first asked my ex for a divorce, I was happy and content. It
> > didn't hit me until about one-two months later. When it did, it hit me
> > hard.
> >
> > I was alone and I was surrounded by people that weren't. I threw me a
> > big pity party. Ironically, I was alone there too!
> >
> > I haven't been able to keep up with all of the posts, so I don't know
> > your whole story, but I'm glad to see that you're having a better day
> > today. :)
> >
> Same sad story as most here. We did the drawn lawyers thing the first
> time out. This time we/I knew it was coming and simply let it happen. I,
> nor my children, should be subjected to this every 6-8 months.

Sorry. :(

>
> Yeah, today was a good day...no big bubbles..

Good! :)

>
> Work should help me focus a bit better and fill some of the empty time.

It will. I'm always at my best when I'm busy. Something about idle
minds...

[Roger B.]

"Suzanne" <smbho...@cox.netnever> wrote...

> The Home Depot... *the* worst place to go when you're in that stage.

-------------
Shirley, you jest! Well, one person's hell can be another person's
candy store, but if you just focus on the widgets, you can spend
hours in wander-lust amongst the aisles, and pay no attention to the
people at all. [Rog']