my therapist has leukemia and he says he may not be around in a year

[stellanona...@gmail.com]

he is so helpful, patient and kind. a really good,decent human being.
he has helped me make progress and kept me alive
i feel sorry and crazy and sad and paniced and selfish
and then i go numb and then i feel a new set of feelings
then i lose time

[astri]

:(

:(

:(

-- astri

======================
to email send to astri
======================
at volcano dot org
======================

[ashlyn]

so sorry to hear that this is happening.
I understand that sense of grief alternating with numbness and panic....
really tough stuff.
hopefully, you can let yourself feel the grief, and time can start to become sequential again.
I know it's hard.
Keep talking here?
the selfishness and numb and all that are okay to express here.

[Baba Yaga]

stellanona...@gmail.com wrote, in alt.support.dissociation:

>he is so helpful, patient and kind. a really good,decent human being.
>he has helped me make progress and kept me alive
>i feel sorry and crazy and sad and paniced and selfish

not selfish. just a real human being.

>and then i go numb and then i feel a new set of feelings
>then i lose time

is hard.
am sorry.

Baba Yaga
--
External things are no more like the perceptions they give rise to,
than wine is similar to intoxication, or opium to the delirium which
it produces.
- John Playfair

[stellanona...@gmail.com]

i don't know how to cope
what am i supposed to do

[Michaela]

Yeah :(
doesn't seem to be a guidebook to this kind of grief

suggestions:

breathe as you can

cry as you need to

distract if and when it's possible, in healthy ways

eat and sleep as best you can: if you neglect your body, the grief will be that much harder to deal with

do you have anything that you like to do or folks nearby who can support you?

is the t. supporting you now through this process?

you might write him your thoughts so you can say what you want to say to him

you might think about, as difficult as this might seem, looking at other t's so that, if and when your current one passes, you have someone to go to
someone with experience in grief and loss, at the very least

these are suggestions

take what works and leave the rest

and write on asd as much as you need to

lots of space here for lots of feelings

[Nahanton]

I'm so sorry. My therapist of many years died 5 years ago of
pancreatic cancer. I still miss him terribly, but it is not as painful
as it once was.
Wish I could be more helpful.

Nahanton

[Baba Yaga]

Nahanton <Naha...@comcast.net> wrote, in alt.support.dissociation:

Hi, Nahanton!

[Nahanton]

On 2012-08-06 14:24:05 -0400, Baba Yaga <spam...@phonecoop.coop> said:

> Nahanton <Naha...@comcast.net> wrote, in alt.support.dissociation:
>
> Hi, Nahanton!
>
> Baba Yaga

Hi Baba...

Nice to see you :) Hope all is well...

Nahanton

[Baba Yaga]

Nahanton <Naha...@comcast.net> wrote, in alt.support.dissociation:

>On 2012-08-06 14:24:05 -0400, Baba Yaga <spam...@phonecoop.coop> said:
>
>> Nahanton <Naha...@comcast.net> wrote, in alt.support.dissociation:
>>
>> Hi, Nahanton!
>>
>> Baba Yaga
>
>Hi Baba...
>
>Nice to see you :) Hope all is well...

All apart from the usual doing more than I quite can. ;-) Pyjama day
today, thank goodness - soon to be spent sewing and listening cricket
commentary.

How are things with you, these days?

[Nahanton]

On 2012-08-18 04:48:26 -0400, Baba Yaga <spam...@phonecoop.coop> said:

> Nahanton <Naha...@comcast.net> wrote, in alt.support.dissociation:
>
>> On 2012-08-06 14:24:05 -0400, Baba Yaga <spam...@phonecoop.coop> said:
>>
>>> Nahanton <Naha...@comcast.net> wrote, in alt.support.dissociation:
>>>
>>> Hi, Nahanton!
>>>
>>> Baba Yaga
>>
>> Hi Baba...
>>
>> Nice to see you :) Hope all is well...
>
> All apart from the usual doing more than I quite can. ;-) Pyjama day
> today, thank goodness - soon to be spent sewing and listening cricket
> commentary.
>
> How are things with you, these days?
>
> Baba Yaga

I've been sick with a mysterious malady for more than three years.
Pressure on left side of face, feeling that left ear is blocked,
dizziness, etc., Have seen 5 ENT's, 2 neurologists, physiatrist,
orthopedic surgeon, etc., etc., Have had numerous CT scans and 2 MRI's.
The only relief I get is lying down with my head tilted back. I'm
hoping that I've finally figured out what's going on. I'm waiting to
hear from a lab to find out if I'm allergic to the three titanium
dental implants I had done over 3 years ago. Titanium is supposed to
be allergy free and that's why it's used for hip, knee, dental
replacements/implants. After much investigation, I'm finding out that
although it's rare, some people have reactions to titanium. I'm hoping
that I'm one of them. If so, I'll have them removed, and hopefully get
my life back. If that happens, it will be gratifying to sit up while
reading a book, be able to go out to visit friends, go to a
movie......all of that will seem like heaven....

[Baba Yaga]

Nahanton <Naha...@comcast.net> wrote, in alt.support.dissociation:

>

>I've been sick with a mysterious malady for more than three years.

Eep.

>Pressure on left side of face, feeling that left ear is blocked,
>dizziness, etc.,

And twice eep! Sympathies, for what they're worth.

>Have seen 5 ENT's, 2 neurologists, physiatrist,
>orthopedic surgeon, etc., etc., Have had numerous CT scans and 2 MRI's.
> The only relief I get is lying down with my head tilted back.

Oh, nice comfortable option, then.

>I'm
>hoping that I've finally figured out what's going on. I'm waiting to
>hear from a lab to find out if I'm allergic to the three titanium
>dental implants I had done over 3 years ago.

Ahhhh.
(Gah!)

> Titanium is supposed to
>be allergy free and that's why it's used for hip, knee, dental
>replacements/implants. After much investigation, I'm finding out that
>although it's rare, some people have reactions to titanium. I'm hoping
>that I'm one of them. If so, I'll have them removed, and hopefully get
>my life back. If that happens, it will be gratifying to sit up while
>reading a book, be able to go out to visit friends, go to a
>movie......all of that will seem like heaven....

My goodness, I can only imagine.

Here's hoping the titanium is the villain!

[Starry-Eyed Pragmatist]

On 8/18/2012 7:46 AM, Nahanton wrote:

[snip]

>
> I've been sick with a mysterious malady for more than three years.
> Pressure on left side of face, feeling that left ear is blocked,
> dizziness, etc., Have seen 5 ENT's, 2 neurologists, physiatrist,
> orthopedic surgeon, etc., etc., Have had numerous CT scans and 2 MRI's.
> The only relief I get is lying down with my head tilted back. I'm
> hoping that I've finally figured out what's going on. I'm waiting to
> hear from a lab to find out if I'm allergic to the three titanium dental
> implants I had done over 3 years ago. Titanium is supposed to be
> allergy free and that's why it's used for hip, knee, dental
> replacements/implants. After much investigation, I'm finding out that
> although it's rare, some people have reactions to titanium. I'm hoping
> that I'm one of them. If so, I'll have them removed, and hopefully get
> my life back. If that happens, it will be gratifying to sit up while
> reading a book, be able to go out to visit friends, go to a
> movie......all of that will seem like heaven....

Yipe! I hope you're right, so your insight can be rewarded with a quick
resolution.

Take care,

Starry

[Nahanton]

On 2012-08-20 12:24:18 -0400, Starry-Eyed Pragmatist

Me too!! Thank you for your kind thoughts. :)

Nahanton

[azure]

Wow, stella nona, that sounds stressful. I'm sorry to hear this.

azure

[Ivan Kryakutnoy]

On Saturday, August 4, 2012 11:34:56 PM UTC-4, stellanona...@gmail.com wrote:

safe hugs

Ivan, who was away from this group for several months at a time. might not post too often now either.