A poem - about grieving

[confuzzled]

We dedicate a day
To remembering.
Our grief exposed
As we speak of sadness
And laugh in recognition
Of what we've lost.
One day,
To hold tightly,
Grasping at a life
Already gone.
Pretending we haven't
Already begun a life
Of forgetting.

I have spent long hours,
Trying to recall
An expression, words spoken,
Experiences shared.
I always believed
A memory
Was like a photo,
Stored away.
When ready,
You could hold it
And maybe the edges
Would be tattered,
The colors slightly faded,
But it would be unchanged.

I've always grieved alone,
Keeping my stories
Like precious secrets,
That could be stolen away.
A lesson learned
At fifteen, when I expected
Reminiscing and concern
Not isolation and silence.

Today, I mourned
With a community
For the loss
Of a teacher,
Friend,
Daughter,
Mother,
Mensch.
We sat together
On hard benches,
Draped in funeral clothes
And sadness.
I sang with the choir,
Near an empty seat.
Listening,
For her deep
Warm voice.

It felt like she was with us.
As tears fell behind me,
I recognized a generous spirit,
Calming and present,
Who offered hugs and care.
And I finally understood
How to remember.
My need for safety and space,
Were replaced by the warmth
Of memories shared in a hug.

(c) Charlie Herman

[astri]

this brought tears from beauty

-- astri

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to email send to astri
======================
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[scattered]

On Nov 10, 10:51 pm, confuzzled <nospamsometimesknownas...@gmail.com>
wrote:

I liked this poem. This past Saturday I went to a memorial service for
a teacher from my undergraduate days who was something of a mentor to
me, so this poem hit home.

-scattered

[confuzzled]

err.. thank you

beauty?

[confuzzled]

thank you
am sorry that you lost a mentor. is hard
we will listen (read) if you want to say more

[astri]

yes
beautifully said
beautiful sentiment (that seems wierd but just seems so)

[confuzzled]

oooh, understand now

<blushes>

thanks

[scattered]

On Nov 13, 1:32 am, confuzzled <nospamsometimesknownas...@gmail.com>
wrote:

> we will listen (read) if you want to say more- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

I wasn't particularly sad per se - it is hard to mourn someone you
knew in what seems like a different life. What made me the most sad
was that the man was a campus minister engaged in a teaching ministry
and that my faith is virtually nonexistent now. I felt like I let him
down or something.

[confuzzled]

well, we said "hard" not sad. said hard because all sorts of different
things can get stirred up. for us, sad usually comes later. sounds like
maybe for you what got stirred up is guilt?

[scattered]

On Nov 16, 10:14 pm, confuzzled <nospamsometimesknownas...@gmail.com>

That is an insightful point

> sounds like maybe for you what got stirred up is guilt?

Not guilt, just regrets. A sense of not living up to my potential.

[confuzzled]

ty

>> sounds like maybe for you what got stirred up is guilt?
>
> Not guilt, just regrets. A sense of not living up to my potential.
>

understand about regrets

not sure I buy into the concept of "potential". seems like that's
usually imposed by the outside. seems like an incredibly hard thing to
judge too. we always want to know, 'potential for what". life is still
moving on and what was learned and experience before may well be used in
ways not yet realized (hope that made sense)