from the edge of the storm
Veridian Pau
by admitting it is there and deciding to use this golden opportunity to face
down o/ur alone fears. w/e did write a lets-just-be-friends note to o/ur
friend who hardly writes back to u/s anyway and stuff. and that really
unleashed the storm.
*sigh* i know something could still come to be with L, she has never said go
away or anything and says she has so much going on in life with job n school
she just can't do it all and has to let some things slide. guess that means
relationships too, maybe. don't know, she never said that directly or really
said anything to o/ur expressions. so i think w/e do not inspire much in
her. and it best to let it go and move on. thus this storm.
could barely function at work today. how long before they tell u/s take some
time off veri n come back when you get things worked out?? sigh. w/e did
borrow a kitten from the pet store at the end of the night n did a photo
shoot with it n that pick u/s up somewhat. got some nice pictures of kitty
sittin on a copy of romeo n juliet with a rose. nice came out nice. that
make u/s feel a little up n stable for a bit. is nice to do something
pretty.
but then why are w/e obsessed with taking pictures with book of shakesphere
and r and j? *sigh* do alot of those. makes nice pictues though *grins*
yeah.
feel like w/e are coming into tatters. alone so alone, there is an echo w/e
are falling into, a memory(s). ugh. the birth of o/ur alone fears. will be
good to face it see how much a lie it is and how veri veri small it is
really. w/e can do this *w/e keep saying that like a mantra* w/e have a
foregleam of incredible pain, someone small and alone in a dank place
beleiving like sie beleives in g*d that this is it, sie is going to be alone
forever, forever. can w/e focus on the child rather than the storm? forget
furling the sails n lashing the wheel n battening the hatches n the capn's
shouted orders n just focus on the child? can the capn shout orders about
the child rather than the storm n ship?
that is what w/e have to do isn't it? focus on the child rarher than the
storm. it feels like w/e are in danger of being washed overboard with no one
to throw u/s a lifering or rope end. but, the storm is powerless if w/e
focus on the child, yes? and kittens and things? hope so. cause it sure
feels real and it has only begun. it is the child's storm more than mine,
but the child is mine, o/urs, beloved precious. i am terrified, i am so so
little to be facing this.
thanks for reading this.
Amanda Maddison's Memorial Nonsence Box
(spotted the ref to photo shoot with kitty :))
reading your post i found myself wondering what lonelyness looked like
through your vewfinder,is it grainy, is it colour or is it B+W? high
contrast or low? maybe its pastel tones of blues and greys
i thought of the OM4TI in my camera case and wondered what lonelyness would
look like through my veiwfinder thoughts of deserted beaches a single swan
on a pond a distant figure in a park bench? what would i chose to represent
this. then i thought of the person behind the veiwfinder who is also
alone,isolated behind the camera an obscure figure themselves,
you are less alone than you may believe <gentle smile>
huggs from a bear of little brain
Iain.
In article <_I7A7.146427$W8.37...@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net> ,
Veridian Pau
hi, you are vry funny. *he refers to caught your eye...and the thought that
w/e are a photographer* *waves smilin*is you a teddy bear or a real bear? no
of u/s is bears, lotsa other animals though. do you like bears a lot? i am
seven so i can write gooder than i will be 4 3/4 again like i am always.
splorer helps me be seven and write. bye
veri writes: w/e chuckle too at the idea w/e are a photographer cause w/e
don't know what a OM4TI is. a missle launcher? heehee. i am deducing it is a
cam cause you say it is in your cam case. w/e know veri little about
photography actually, w/e work in portrait studio where the cam settings n
lighting n everything is all set up n the photographers just do the people
part of photoraphy mostly. w/e talkee to the ppl n kids n set up shopt n
click the shutter. oh, yeah, w/e unload the film too :o)
sometimes w/e play a bit with the lighting n learn stuff. w/e do make some
nice pictures actually, lots of parents like what w/e do n w/e often get
raves.one of o/ur favorite is the folks who said w/e captured thier little
girls personality like no one ever had, it's a DID thing i think to be able
to see so much of someone in a short time first meeting. w/e only get like
20 minutes with the kids so w/e have to interact with them in a way that
lets u/s peek through the surface to see within. and/or makes them peek out.
it can be a source of bouyancy o/ur job. but is hard sometimes too.
anyway...
i think loneliness is someone on a park bench babbling to an empty paper bag
or to someone with thier back turned. i think it is a lone sailor clinging
to a mast as waves tear at him and he is crying h*venward. and it is a wren
looking at the world with that sideways look wrens do and realizing that
this could just be something different altogether, that loneliness could be
simply aloneness full of possibilites to understand itself and the things it
never dreamed of doing with its wings.
aloneness should be a part of life not all of life n as you say, yes, w/e
are not as alone as w/e feel. every day has many parts some parts we are
with ppl some parts we are alone and we need all the parts of the day. we
need a little alone time to hear ourselves and comtemplate and test our
experiences with what we beleive about life the universe n everything. :o)
trying. brave words huh? actually things are a little better today. it helps
that ppl notice huh? what does it mean memorial nonsense box? w/e have
wondered about that for a while now since w/e seen you in the group. is
intruiging name.
blab blab blab, gots to shut up now. gots stuff to do. *waves energeically*
thaks c ya later right? ok so by the by you have photographys on the web?
you must be a photographer, a real one the way you write. w/e have a couple
photos on r website but the company not like it's employee do that. w/e put
on some animal pic that they should not mind so much as kids pictures. maybe
w/e put kitten pictute on soon.
caring n stuff,
Veris
"Amanda Maddison's Memorial Nonsence Box" <bene...@cyberxpress.co.nz> wrote
in message news:MNdA7.9359$jc1.8...@news.xtra.co.nz...
J.L. Thomas
Hold on. I've got ya.
*pulls little veri into arms*
You're safe here. No one can hurt you now.
It's ok to cry. Let it out. That's it.
Little one, can you tell me what's wrong? what scared you?
I'm here for you.
Mary, for dyenths
ps: <fwiw, Mary's been bein *weird* today! don't know
what's up with that. if nothing else, we offer comfort and
support, if it helps. just ignore mary's rambles (she's our
inside m0m) if they make no sense to you.>
"Veridian Pau" <V....@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message
news:_I7A7.146427$W8.37...@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.
net...
Amanda Maddison's Memorial Nonsence Box
"Veridian Pau" <V....@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
> *laughing a little litterally,it is verilittle who write:*
hihi /me waves to verilittle :)
> hi, you are vry funny. *he refers to caught your eye...and the thought that
> w/e are a photographer* *waves smilin*is you a teddy bear or a real bear? no
> of u/s is bears, lotsa other animals though. do you like bears a lot? i am
> seven so i can write gooder than i will be 4 3/4 again like i am always.
> splorer helps me be seven and write. bye
i think you write veri well :) im not a realbear or a tedibear but i does
like Winney the Pooh so that is why i say's "a bear of little brain".
> veri writes: w/e chuckle too at the idea w/e are a photographer cause w/e
> don't know what a OM4TI is. a missle launcher? heehee. i am deducing it is a
> cam cause you say it is in your cam case. w/e know veri little about
> photography actually, w/e work in portrait studio where the cam settings n
> lighting n everything is all set up n the photographers just do the people
> part of photoraphy mostly. w/e talkee to the ppl n kids n set up shopt n
> click the shutter. oh, yeah, w/e unload the film too :o)
well if you click the shutter then u are a photogaher :) and yeah the OM4 is
a camera. its cool you work in a studio. it is a lot of responcibility to
work with the ppl directly even if its all setup for you ...that is just the
equipment. its much more important how you interact with the clients that is
what a lot of being a portrait photographer is all about i think ppl will
remember *you*, they wont remember the camera :)
> sometimes w/e play a bit with the lighting n learn stuff. w/e do make some
> nice pictures actually, lots of parents like what w/e do n w/e often get
> raves.one of o/ur favorite is the folks who said w/e captured thier little
> girls personality like no one ever had, it's a DID thing i think to be able
> to see so much of someone in a short time first meeting. w/e only get like
> 20 minutes with the kids so w/e have to interact with them in a way that
> lets u/s peek through the surface to see within. and/or makes them peek out.
> it can be a source of bouyancy o/ur job. but is hard sometimes too.
> anyway...
>
seee you are a photographer but i knewed that already <giggle>
> i think loneliness is someone on a park bench babbling to an empty paper bag
> or to someone with thier back turned. i think it is a lone sailor clinging
> to a mast as waves tear at him and he is crying h*venward. and it is a wren
> looking at the world with that sideways look wrens do and realizing that
> this could just be something different altogether, that loneliness could be
> simply aloneness full of possibilites to understand itself and the things it
> never dreamed of doing with its wings.
wow :) that is so insightfull
hey after writing yesterday i keyed in "lonely" and then "lonly+alone" into
the image search section of google ....it was interesting what apaert from
unrelated junk it showed. a lot of the images i thougt of and reading your
post today a lot of what you thought of was there on my screen :)
> aloneness should be a part of life not all of life n as you say, yes, w/e
> are not as alone as w/e feel. every day has many parts some parts we are
> with ppl some parts we are alone and we need all the parts of the day. we
> need a little alone time to hear ourselves and comtemplate and test our
> experiences with what we beleive about life the universe n everything. :o)
that is so tru without aloneness how would we recognise when we are not
alone. i think we need time alone to know where we end and someone else
begins this i think is true for singletons <like me> and multi-ppls (grin)
how else to figgure out where the system inside stops and the outside
universe begins
> trying. brave words huh? actually things are a little better today. it helps
> that ppl notice huh? what does it mean memorial nonsense box? w/e have
> wondered about that for a while now since w/e seen you in the group. is
> intruiging name.
im glad things seem brighter today :) "its hard to be brave when you're only
a very small animal." -Piglet.
well Amanda Maddisons Memorial Nonsence Box is my computer the name comes
from the 1980 "the next whole earth catalog" pp113 to 135 (bottom right hand
corners)
Amanda was a "small town usa" exentric who lived in the mid west. she did
typical smalltown things in weird ways :) she used to send postcards to
friends as though she was on an imaginary journey round the world so a
postcard of miami would arive written as if she was an artic explorer.
...took this in my gear to remind me of warmer weather. we'll meet on the
beach soon, love. progress is good but we had to put down a penguin
rebellion last nite. it was rough but we're safe now. think of you always.
Norbert.
so this puter is Amanda, on irc im knowen as Norbert (abuse0-survivors1 on
undernet servers) reading about Amanda Madison took my fance so this is my
contibution to keeping her spirit and veiw of life alive.
(Amanda died in 1969) and the real memorial nonsence box is at Smitty's bar
in her home town :)
> blab blab blab, gots to shut up now. gots stuff to do. *waves energeically*
> thaks c ya later right? ok so by the by you have photographys on the web?
> you must be a photographer, a real one the way you write. w/e have a couple
> photos on r website but the company not like it's employee do that. w/e put
> on some animal pic that they should not mind so much as kids pictures. maybe
> w/e put kitten pictute on soon.
>
> caring n stuff, Veris
/me waves back <grin> sori i dont have photos on the web yet but i hope to
some day soon. and i still think u a photographer even if you dont wear the
title at work,besides what do the customers think? i'll bet that they think
you are a photographer <giggle>
huggs from a bear of little brain
(Iain)
--
behind every good fish
is a bike with a flat tyre
Veridian Pau
verilittle he be wary of womens wanting to hold him so if he struggles
insteada snuggles Mary is not you *smiles* he says right now he lika dyenths
n if you is with dyenths is ok. he likes to chatter n laugh n ask questions
to get to know ppl. right now the storm is not really his, he is the stormy
petral, he looks for support n understanding n stuff to help joyful-veri.
*sigh* joyful, a hopefull name, paradoxical almost, joyful carries so much
fear n pain.
verilittle runs ahead for other littles who hurt, finds help then goes on
about his happy business. i think he is quite interested in the layout of
your living room *chuckles* easily distracted. thaks Mary. comfort is a
wonderful thing, lifts the veil form oones eyes to see such good things,
like not alone. not alone.
what is fwiw plz? Marys rambles make sense yes. what is she doing weird? yes
comfort n things is good makee good use of those K? thanks. o thanks!
caring n stuff,
Veris
"J.L. Thomas" <jtdg...@adelphia.net> wrote in message
news:ZAmA7.3342$vK6.9...@news1.news.adelphia.net...
Veridian Pau
oh, had so many thoughts but then caught a friend on buddy message n talkee
till quite qitie tired now n can hardly type or think. wa s a good talk with
friend but tired now n wanted to say things. will try to remember the things
romorow K? wenta google like you did n yes was quite something hmm. verifuni
says, cya later gator *giggles*
caring n stuff,
Veri n ppls
"Amanda Maddison's Memorial Nonsence Box" <bene...@cyberxpress.co.nz> wrote
in message news:pepA7.9631$jc1.8...@news.xtra.co.nz...
> (fwiw)
Rainstar
hopes dat you work thru it and we sur dat wen you done, you will be
stronger... jus know dat we thinkin' bout you.
lilrainy for Rainstar
Veridian Pau wrote:
--
Rainstar - rain...@extra.asarian-host.org
To e-mail remove extra from address
Veridian Pau
w/e did work through other stuff. it is hard though, today is a hard day.
w/e be thinking of yous too K? *waves from celeste n other girl littles* hi!
carin gn stuff, veri, girls, n Explorer
"Rainstar" <rain...@extra.asarian-host.org> wrote in message
news:3BD32B9E...@extra.asarian-host.org...
Veridian Pau
reading yous reply.
it is hard being brave when you are a veri small animal. yes. w/e like your
pooh quoting. verilittle says you are a veri nice person. yes ppl do rember
u/s more than the camera :o) one of these days w/e will give in and call u/s
a photographer. :o)
w/e did shoot a group of mentally n physically challanged adults awhile
back, five of them from a group home i think it was. it was challanging n
inspiring. so w/e did for them a personification, a little pom that captured
each one n pasted it into an eight by ten. one of the social workers i guess
they are came by today to pick it up, w/e give those as gifts to specially
inspiring ppls w/e shoot who really inspire u/s n keep u/s going. she reads
the pom n was so surprised she says you captured each of theiur personalites
so true. ppl are so surprised at that cause w/e only see the kids or ppl for
a short short time.
is nice when ppl are so pleased n surprised.
anyway, maybe w/e will call u/s a photographer some day soon. :O_ thanx for
the faith :o)
would it be hard to know one is not alone if one never was alone? that is an
interesting philosophical point i have not the energy to pursue at the
moment so w/e will just agree with you K? hehehe i think it is true. i like
that about needing it to know where w/ e end n other ppl begin that is veri
true, and very true too. :o) it is important to kow who is who esp when
there are so many me-s to know that about. :o)
tired. no more pholosophy for now. w/e did put amanda maddison in search
engine n got interesting returns: JACAROUGE RED RAGDOLLS (seems to be a
breed of cat), tennessee walking horse celebration, national missing persons
unit, women mathamaticians... must try again, your bio of her is intruiging.
nap time, hard day. talkee agian i hope
caring n stuff,
veri n vlittle n some *wavings*
"Amanda Maddison's Memorial Nonsence Box" <bene...@cyberxpress.co.nz> wrote
in message news:pepA7.9631$jc1.8...@news.xtra.co.nz...