What I have to do
Beauty
dream snippet w/very, very indirect sx ref. in course of much larger
context
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I have to replace the husb. as pr**cher - in fact, run the whole s*rv*ce
from soup to nuts - two Sundays running. This is Friday night. He was at
the ch*rch today. Do you know, he didn't even bother to bring me home a
copy of the bulletin. Do you know that although he *did* consult w/me
about which of the possible readings to choose, he did not consult me about
h*mns, and when I mentioned them tonight, he didn't answer. I still have
no idea what we are supposed to be singing. That's day after tomorrow.
He will be gone, see - to UK, having flown out about dawn, w/my son. (Who
is going to drive them to the airport? I sure hope it isn't supposed to be
me, because there's every chance in the world of my getting lost on the way
back, or if not that, having a wreck from stress and tiredness and
distraction. And then I'd be stuck at the ch*rch for however many hours
until the s*rv*ce - because it's another hour back on home from there - and
whichever way you look at it, I'm going to be up and driving back and forth
two Sundays early, and I am *not* a morning person and can just about pull
it together because he drives on Sunday otherwise.)
And tomorrow, we have to patch together the s*rv*ce for the Sunday on which
he comes home. And see that everything is packed - I've decided it isn't
my problem, even where my son is concerned: it is my husb.'s gig, and it's
"boys only," so let them pack. We hope only to maintain some kind of calm,
and if we do that it will be a miracle. Oh, yes, and sometime tomorrow we
have to write a s*rmon. Mm-hm.
Peculiarly enough, though, it happens to be the reading which is my
favorite OT story. (My favorite NT story is, of course, the one where X
cures the man bound in chains, where a voice says "My name is L*gion . . ."
Ickkkk!!!! I have a poem based on that which is one of my one or two
favorite poems.) Anyhow, the one for Sunday is about J*cob wrestling the
supposed "*ngel." But it doesn't say in there it is an "*ngel," it says it
is a man, and then when J*cob asks for a name, the man says "Why do you
ask?" And that's the kicker, see, because that's what G*d always says -
like - "Who wants ta know?" You know? And all.
Anyhow. I'm titling my s*rmon "Who Was That Masked Man?" I'll let you
know how it goes. No, I'm serious, I really am calling it that, and it's
going to be about striving in the darkness and finding some degree of
bl*ssing somehow in the course of the struggle - and maybe even finding a
new name or a new identity. Or something. Call me full of garbage.
I had a dream last night where I was (as always when driving a car) out of
control - but finally managed to park in a spot close enough to where I
wanted to be - and it wasn't clear if it was a Ch*nese restaurant, Ch*nese
kitchenware store, exotic and possibly Ch*nese house of fashion design,
Ch*nese boudoir, or what - but it ended up that I got outfitted with this
incredible set of expensive and strange clothing, just made and draped
exactly to suit me alone - but it wasn't for me to keep, just to use for a
few hours for the purposes of a purposeful liaison w/a man. And when I
went to return the clothing (also out of control in the car, but managing
at last, w/many turnings around and aimings again, to get it in
approximately the right spot), I offered my payment, but the older woman
who was the designer/dresser waved it away, saying I should only recommend
her shop to others.
Who was that masked woman? The one draped in those exotic clothes, I mean,
and driving the impossible runaway car?
Beauty.
--
To email me, remove "nospam" from my address.
Domino
Beauty wrote:
You, of course. Driving the out of control car represents your life, finding
the store/restaurant is indicative of finding the right sermon for today. You
are dressing in clothes that aren't usually yours (they are hubby's). The
purposeful liason with the man is you getting closer to G*d (by preaching).
And the designer is telling you there is no payment necessary for finding G*d,
just recommend him to others.
Oh yea, after a month and a half, I am finally back home. I have so many
stories to tell that I don't even know where to begin. I thought that before
my partner got run over my life was ridiculous. Now I know what really
ridiculous is and my life has become fodder for an entire season of J*rry
Spr*nger (but that is a whole other post).
Anyway, good luck, Beauty. I know you will do well today.
Take good care,
Domino
Beauty
I am shaking my head w/wide eyes at all you have seen and said about my
dream. I would never have seen all of it, but I think what you say is
right - and I would never have thought of it. Sure, the out of control
part and the costumes part, all pretty obvious in general - but how
particular you made it and what else you added - I am astounded. You have
given me a great gift - I am astounded. Thanks are not enough, but all I
have - except to say that whenever you imagine that you might not have
great value on this earth, remember how much you have given me.
I am sorry your life has been a shambles. I guess mine has, too - in very
different ways, I am sure.
And, yes, I think I did do fine today. What I wrote was a surprise even to
me, which is part of what happens when you just let go, I guess.
Beauty.
--
To email me, remove "nospam" from my address.
Domino <anon-...@anon.twwells.com> wrote in article
<3D4D00A8...@anon.twwells.com>...
Domino
Beauty wrote:
> Dear Domino -
>
> I am shaking my head w/wide eyes at all you have seen and said about my
> dream. I would never have seen all of it, but I think what you say is
> right - and I would never have thought of it. Sure, the out of control
> part and the costumes part, all pretty obvious in general - but how
> particular you made it and what else you added - I am astounded. You have
> given me a great gift - I am astounded. Thanks are not enough, but all I
> have - except to say that whenever you imagine that you might not have
> great value on this earth, remember how much you have given me.
Yesterday as I was driving to work, I realized that I had forgotten to tell you
something about your dream and I was unhappy because it was important.
However, I think you might have started finding it out yourself.......the
clothing that you wore that wasn't yours....did you notice that in your dream,
it fit you ~perfectly~? Our lives don't always head in the direction that we
think they will, but they lead us to exactly where we should be (if we are
aware enough to be watching).
>
>
> I am sorry your life has been a shambles. I guess mine has, too - in very
> different ways, I am sure.
Heck, I ought to be used to it by now. I guess I wish I would just quit
breaking down emotionally about it all--it freaks other people out. I keep
wondering how much more I can take. And I guess I ought to stop wondering that
because every time I do, something freakier gets thrown at me. : /
I'll think good thoughts that both of our lives will strengthen up and calm
down ~soon~!
>
>
> And, yes, I think I did do fine today. What I wrote was a surprise even to
> me, which is part of what happens when you just let go, I guess.
I am so glad that things went well. Doesn't the saying go "sometimes you've
just gotta let go and let G*d"? Looks like you did! :)
Domino
>
>
> Beauty.
> --
Beauty
This is correct - both things you say. And the dream is a reminder of a
path I had very recently (re)-found and almost as quickly lost again . . .
Much is going on. I am in a kind of "retreat" this week, because my family
is gone. I was very upset about them leaving me behind - but this is just
another example of how sometimes you get what you need in funny ways, even
ways which are opposite to that which you think would be good. It's odd -
because I've had constant fantasies of just running away for a while - and
instead, they've run away, which makes it quite convenient for me. I don't
even have to leave home. Yes. Much, much going on. And yes, thank you -
yes - the clothing fit perfectly. Much thinking to do, and many, many
thanks for the help you have given.
Beauty.
--
To email me, remove "nospam" from my address.
Domino <anon-...@anon.twwells.com> wrote in article
<3D4E4E92...@anon.twwells.com>...