Challenges...
Tony Florida
Went to the surgeon yesterday, and we looked at my latest films,
six months post-op. He was absolutely delighted with the way my
lumbar fusion has 'taken.' Me, too! I haven't had so little pain
in years, and it was like day and night, from right after his
'handiwork.' I needn't go back now for four months.
The doc, meanwhile, appeared in a 'boot' halfway up his right
leg. "What the heck happened to you?" I asked him. "Motorcycle
accident," he muttered.
I said, "Not that you're outa' your mind, or anything, but let me
ask you: Aren't you, as a surgeon, prohibited from some stuff by
your insurance company?"
"Yeah," he said. "I'm not allowed to sky-dive. And when I did the
last mountain climbing thing, they suspended my practice coverage
for the three weeks I was away from the office."
I just shook my head.... Meanwhile, the back is good, and I'm
glad. We talked about other stuff, mainly centering around the
weaning process I'm on, coming off the meds that kept me intact
for the last couple of years.
The problem is not so much pain but that, in backing down off the
'stuff,' there is also a real roller coaster of emotional
upheaval involved. Having been treated for depression in the past
(I know, nobody in *this* crowd can relate to that), I am well
aware that I am on some pretty slippery slopes just now. Gotta be
very careful, and I'm going to see another doc for help with
that.
I mention all this because, as you can imagine, it plays havoc
with my head when it comes to food. I know I've written here a
good deal about the emotional side of eating and about triggers,
both food-wise and emotional. Well, this week has been a time of
genuine challenge for me. I have been in a particularly rough
state of mind, and my tendency to self-destruct with food has
seemed like a #1 priority.
This is not to say I've gone and done myself in; I haven't done
that. I *have* been over-points about four or five days this past
week. I determined that I would remain OP as much as I could,
even though there were a couple of days I just couldn't care
less.
I've taken my lead from some of you who have shared the struggle
as well as the victory. I just decided that 'rigorous honesty' is
a foundational part of this journey, and I'm not going to wear a
clown smile when I feel like I'm dying inside.
So, Amy and I decided on a night out last night, since we were
both off. The first two restaurants we tried had too long a wait.
Those were places I *really* could have done some damage! As it
worked out, the worst I could find to do was a 'king cut' of
prime rib...and then I couldn't even finish the damn thing!!
Dinner really was great -- the raspberry vinaigrette *fat-free*
dressing was sensational! I was able to kinda let Amy in on
what's going on between my ears, and we had a really nice chat
about stuff.
And afterward, you'd think a movie would be a great way to "get
off the merry-go-round," right? Well, we chose to see "The
Hours." It is a stunning piece of work, an absolute must-see!
Most of the people in it, however, are emotionally "pretty dark."
Definitely my kind of film! I came away feeling like I matched
most of what transpired, and fit right in!! :-}}
Today is better. I awoke to nearly 500 unread posts here, and in
trying to catch up I've been taking strength and comfort from
many of you. At the moment I don't have a lot of optimism
regarding my WI tomorrow, but sometimes I guess the WI isn't the
most important consideration.
No one but a fool would think this journey is a walk in the park.
I know first-hand that for some of us this is like a life and
death thing. I think it's wonderful that we don't have to do it
alone.
Tony Florida
259/234.5/155 (since Oct 9, '02)
1st 10% goal = 233; NAFC = 220
=============================
Chris
news:fzydnaDk3Jo...@comcast.com:
> Hi all,
>
> Went to the surgeon yesterday, and we looked at my latest films,
> six months post-op. He was absolutely delighted with the way my
> lumbar fusion has 'taken.' Me, too! I haven't had so little pain
> in years, and it was like day and night, from right after his
> 'handiwork.' I needn't go back now for four months.
A Big Woo-Hoo for you!
***snip***
> The problem is not so much pain but that, in backing down off the
> 'stuff,' there is also a real roller coaster of emotional
> upheaval involved. Having been treated for depression in the past
> (I know, nobody in *this* crowd can relate to that), I am well
> aware that I am on some pretty slippery slopes just now. Gotta be
> very careful, and I'm going to see another doc for help with
> that.
Wounds like you have a good handle on it now. YOu understand what's coming
so you can be prepared. Best of luck.
***snip***
> I've taken my lead from some of you who have shared the struggle
> as well as the victory. I just decided that 'rigorous honesty' is
> a foundational part of this journey, and I'm not going to wear a
> clown smile when I feel like I'm dying inside.
"To thyne own self be true." Confronting your feelings, keeping honest
with yourself, is a great step towards defeating your personal demons.
***snip***
> So, Amy and I decided on a night out last night, since we were
> both off. The first two restaurants we tried had too long a wait.
> Those were places I *really* could have done some damage! As it
> worked out, the worst I could find to do was a 'king cut' of
> prime rib...and then I couldn't even finish the damn thing!!
That is a NSV. I am sure you can remember the days when it would have been
gone along with a nice appetizer and dessert!
***snip***
> Today is better. I awoke to nearly 500 unread posts here, and in
> trying to catch up I've been taking strength and comfort from
> many of you. At the moment I don't have a lot of optimism
> regarding my WI tomorrow, but sometimes I guess the WI isn't the
> most important consideration.
Sounds like you have your priorities straight. At least you are keeping
your weight loss in mind and are making some good choices. With everything
going on I am sure the temptation to chuck it all can be very strong. Keep
fighting the good fight.
***snip***
--
Started Weight Watchers together February 2002:
Chris
332.4/222.4/185
Pat
198.4/162.6/155
2002 combined loss 139
2003 combined loss 7.2
Total combined loss 146.2 lbs
Sam
clown smile thing. And to be fair, this would be a pretty unique sample of
the population if there weren't other people reading here who can relate
too. Thanks for sharing that all with us.
Sam
--
148/145/126
NAFC: 128.5
If not now, when?
"Tony Florida" <tonyNOS...@comcast.net> wrote in message
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Catherine White
but not the type you have.
Life can sometimes get in the way of the things we want to accomplish. I
can definitely relate to that.
Last night I received a phone call from my son who is 27 years old and lives
in Philadelphia, Pa which is about 2 hours from us. He had been admitted to
the hospital for emergency surgery. He will be alright but after I hung up,
I thought about going out and buying a carton of cigarettes and a fifth of
Bacardi. I didn't. I also stayed in points, refusing to over eat. I did
exercise for 20 minutes, until I was too tired to do any harm to anyone.
My husband worked in a hospital as a boiler operator and formed the opinion
that most surgeons are nuts. I guess you must be a risk taker to attempt to
operate on people.
It's good that you talked with Amy. It's easier if you have someone you can
share with.
Take Care
Catherine
"Tony Florida" <tonyNOS...@comcast.net> wrote in message
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SuzyQ
attitude.
--
SuzyQ
141 / 131/ 132
125 NAFC and personal goal
WW 11/7/2002
"Tony Florida" <tonyNOS...@comcast.net> wrote in message
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Elaine Kirkham
that medication. Hopefully there will be some other meds that will bring
you down to earth without too many side affects. Wish you luck with your
weigh in but it does sound like you had a darn good meal & you probably
didn't go much over points on it, so you deserve a good loss ;-)
Elaine K
331.4/197.2/179
Linda J.
you have been one of main inspirations, and I know you'll work your way
out of this funk. I'm rooting for you.
Linda
252/209.6/10%
Joy
will succeed with all of your challenges.
--
Joy
285/245/150
Started WW At Home 1/1/02 at 285
Joined WW At Work 9/24/02 at 264.4
*New 10% Target: 26 (238.4)*
"Tony Florida" <tonyNOS...@comcast.net> wrote in message
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Rebecca
I , too, am so grateful we don't have to walk this road alone. How
wonderful to have this group - a great big meeting sitting on my desk,
ready whenever we need it. We're here for you!
OT: The Hours (by Michael Cunningham) was one of the best books I have ever
read - I'm seeing the film tomorrow and can't wait to see how it translates.
Rebecca
Nathalie W
repeat that you are not alone. Hang in there, because we 're all here for
you.
--
Nathalie from Belgium
134.1/115.1/minigoal 114.1/Goal 68 Kg
295.6/253.8/minigoal 251.5/Goal 150 pounds
NAFC 253.8/253.8/238
"Tony Florida" <tonyNOS...@comcast.net> wrote in message
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jo...@nothere.net
(and will) survive this - as you have everything else. If it helps you
at all, please continue to post your frustrations here ... sometimes
just acknowledging and getting them out into the open is a great
starting place for finally conquering them. And you are totally right
... your weigh in is not important in the grand scheme of things. Take
care of yourself first, the rest will fall right back into place.
Joyce
Miss Violette
Knowing what is going on with you physically will help to some degree
mentally, I offer you all the good vibes I can and will tell you what my dad
says, G-d doesn't punish us for doing our best so don't punish yourself, Lee
Tony Florida <tonyNOS...@comcast.net> wrote in message
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Celtic Gal (Vanessa)
Vanessa In OZ :-)
Overall (Was 273- Current 209- Goal 160 to 140)
NAFC 212-209-200
"Tony Florida" <tonyNOS...@comcast.net> wrote in message news:fzydnaDk3Jo...@comcast.com...
Kelly J.
It's kinda funny that you couldn't eat that whole steak, huh? Hang in
there, as I know you will because you have guts! ;-)
Kelly
"Tony Florida" <tonyNOS...@comcast.net> wrote in message
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kristin
all out on "paper" doesn't it? I'm so glad you and Amy had a night "out on
the town" with dinner and a movie. I noticed The Hours won a few Golden
Globes and I haven't even heard of it.. can you give me a brief plot
synopsis without giving anything away??
I am so behind on messages and haven't seen your weigh-in yet, but I'm sure
you did just fine.. Take care, and thanks again for being here..
--
Kristin
272/232.6/172
NAFC - 222
39.4 pounds lost since 1/8/02
Tuna Fish
i have osteoporosis, but is not really bad, for different reason, but im
glad things are working out for you,keep up the good work, and you are
right, we have to be careful, if we want to stay healthy, thank you for
posting, hugs
Sara.
--
150/150/goal 125
i can do it, i am worth it
sara.
"Tony Florida" <tonyNOS...@comcast.net> wrote in message
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