The 6 types of fat people (was Fat People Suck by The King)
Captain BlubberSlap
http://www.makemeking.com/home/articles/58/Fat_People_Suck.html
I have a problem with fat people. Whenever I look at someone who is
obese I get this bottled up rage inside of me. Don't ask why or how. It
just happens. Nothing makes me more sick than seeing a fat person with
a positive self-image about themselves. When fat people think they're
cool or the shit I get this uncontrollable aggression where I want to
rip them limb from limb. The kind where you just walk up and punch them
right between their squinty "fat" eyes. I have come to realize that
there are several different types of fat people. Now don't get me
wrong. I would never want to stereotype fat people, however, here is a
list of how all fat people are. Each fat person has at least one of
these characteristics in them:
1. The Social Fat Guy - This is the guy who tries to be the life of the
party. The guy in the Hawaiian buttoned down dress shirt that's not
tucked in. These guys are very eager to fit in. If you ever need some
quick cash ask to borrow money from them. They will never ask to be
paid back in fear that it might upset you.
2. Fat Person With A Crush - This is the person (usually female) who
tries to get attention by making it very public who they have a crush
on. Whether the crush involves someone they actually know or a
celebrity they act like they are madly in love with them (Think Rosie
O'Donnel and Tom Cruise before she turned dyke). They tend to flirt
very heavily with guys way out of their league.
3. The Fat Friend - This is the very sensitive fat person with lots of
friends of the opposite sex. The majority of these friendships form out
of pity. I happened to see two different occasions of this at lunch
today. This obese guy was eating with two girls obviously out of his
reach. Same with this huge fat bitch who sat down at this guy's table
and made him eat with her. They were only one table apart and I
couldn't help but think, "These two would make the perfect couple".
Another classification commonly used for these type of obese
individuals is called the "Great Personality Friend".
4. The Fat Person In Denial - These are normally males who still hold
the notion that they are big-boned or never lost their baby fat. They
just don't understand...but we do.
5. The Fat Girl Who Wears Skinny Girls Clothing - This is by far the
most troubling characteristic a fat person could carry. Some fat
females take it upon themselves to push the limits. They like to wear
tube tops, short skirts, and other skimpy clothing that reveals their
abnormally sized body. The epitome of this is when a girl wears a shirt
that shows her belly button ring while simultaneously showing every
fucking cupcake and hoho this girl has eaten in her life. If looking at
her doesn't repulse you enough just remember girls like this are
scientifically known to carry more STD's. They also tend to wear pants
so tight that the little flap on the front flips over and you can see
every notch of the zipper holding on for dear life before it explodes
at the seam.
6. The "On A Diet" Fat Person - This is the type of fat person who
orders two Super-Sized Big Mac's with cheese, large fries, and a large
diet coke. They claim to be on a diet yet you never notice a difference
in their appearance. They order a salad for lunch and then consume
5,365 calories at dinner alone.
If you see a fat person, your best option is to remind them how fat
they are at least twice a day. Destroying their self-confidence and
ridiculing them is a very productive weight loss technique in which you
are actually helping them in the long run. Keep in mind that fat people
also think it's funny when you mumble under your breath when they order
their meals. Just make sure you avoid any sympathy directed towards
them because it's their own damn fault they're fat plus it will
encourage them to stay fat.
cats...@monmouth.com
George
some form of public welfare?
<cats...@monmouth.com> wrote in message
news:1137610049....@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
cats...@monmouth.com
and not feel guilty!!! This is a certified big asshole who is a
LOSER!!!!
EJKorvette
Well he has to resort to Usenet now that his parole officer won't let
him torture small animals anymore.
The Operator
is not due to overeating. I take bp medication - if I miss 2 days - I start
retaining quite a bit of water and can gain close to 10 pounds water weight
in just a couple days. Also, I gained weight during the 6 years after I
broke my hip and had 3 hip surgeries including a replacement. There were
times I couldn't even walk let alone exercise - so it isn't always
avoilable. I am fixing it now. I am still on bp meds and birth control -
both make it harder to lose weight - but I will succeed.
Diane
"George" <DELETETHISg...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:Wnwzf.11700$F_3....@newssvr29.news.prodigy.net...
Hunter
> I think so too - I would hope that this person realizes that all
> weight gain is not due to overeating. I take bp medication - if I
> miss 2 days - I start retaining quite a bit of water and can gain
> close to 10 pounds water weight in just a couple days.
But you cannot accumulate fat without a calorie surplus.
> Also, I
> gained weight during the 6 years after I broke my hip and had 3 hip
> surgeries including a replacement. There were times I couldn't even
> walk let alone exercise - so it isn't always avoilable. I am fixing
> it now. I am still on bp meds and birth control - both make it
> harder to lose weight - but I will succeed.
>
Eat less calories. It's really THAT simple.
The Operator
"Hunter" <hun...@no-one.org> wrote in message
news:43d03...@x-privat.org...
> The Operator wrote:
>
>> I think so too - I would hope that this person realizes that all
>> weight gain is not due to overeating. I take bp medication - if I
>> miss 2 days - I start retaining quite a bit of water and can gain
>> close to 10 pounds water weight in just a couple days.
>
> But you cannot accumulate fat without a calorie surplus.
As long as I take the bp meds - I don't retain the water
>
>> Also, I
>> gained weight during the 6 years after I broke my hip and had 3 hip
>> surgeries including a replacement. There were times I couldn't even
>> walk let alone exercise - so it isn't always avoilable. I am fixing
>> it now. I am still on bp meds and birth control - both make it
>> harder to lose weight - but I will succeed.
>>
>
> Eat less calories. It's really THAT simple.
It wasn't that simple. I wasn't overeating - I was just not able to
exercise. Yes eating less calories would have helped - I was eating
healthy. I didn't gain a whole lot - but more than I wanted to. I have
since lost that weight and am working on losing more. I knew why I wasn't
losing weight and couldn't do anything about it - and unless you break a hip
and can't walk - don't judge other people and tell them how simple something
is. I am in the losing mode now - and happy and will reach my goal.
Emma
"Bad Karma I will receive"
"Bad Karma I will receive"
"Bad Karma I will receive"
"Bad Karma I will receive"
"Bad Karma I will receive"
"Bad Karma I will receive"
"Bad Karma I will receive"
Hunter
> >
> > Eat less calories. It's really THAT simple.
>
> It wasn't that simple. I wasn't overeating - I was just not able to
> exercise. Yes eating less calories would have helped - I was eating
> healthy. I didn't gain a whole lot - but more than I wanted to.
Bottom line: You consumed more calories than you burned. There's no
denying that, is there?
DB
"Captain BlubberSlap" <CaptainBl...@hotmail.com> wrote in
> I have a problem with fat people.
Should anybody care about your problems?
It's only an immature little boy that would bother writing such nonsense!