May I ask?
renard
In article <6ib4fo$rll$1...@twwells.com> you wrote:
: this may be a little personal but i was wondering what went on when you were
: first starting therapy. i mean what did the therapist ask you, did you get
: meds right
: away, did you deal with current issues or things from childhood? how often
: were you seen?
: did your therapist ask questions or expect you to provide all the
: information somehow?
[some snippage]
: of weeks ago I got so suicidal and it scared me and my husband that he
: called to get me seen and they said they could not see me because they
: had no available appointments. I'm doing okay now but I still have those
: thoughts a couple of times during the day.
Hey sadmom,
This is one thing you could say to the therapist: "I am doing okay now,
but I still have those thoughts a couple of times during the day"
If it were me, I would want the therapist to poke me more about this.
How do these thoughts make me feel? scared, hopeless, helpless? What do
I do about them? How do I say "I'm ok, when Im having thoughts like these
more than once a day? What exactly do I mean by "OK"?
(I'd resist this of course, but its what I need therapy to help with,
untangling and experiencing these feelings which I normally push to a
distance, or am overwhelmed by.)
I'd want this to lead toward more ways to cope with the feelings and not
be so much at their mercy. Also, tons and tons of reassurance that I can
expect more than "OK"
: I'm talking with a therapist but I don't know what to talk about. She
: asked me "What do you want to talk about?" And I really don't know.
: I feel so stupid because I can't think straight. And I feel so guilty for
: taking her time. Guess that's normal, well, for a depressed person that is.
yep, normal for a depresso
But this paragraph aboove is also something to say: "I feel so
stupid that I can't think straight" and "I feel guilty for being here".
Other things to ask (nowhere is it written that have all the questions
and we provide answers, turn the tables, ask them!): "what
should I expect to get from therapy?" "where do you see us going?" "why
am I here; what do you have for me?" "how do you see me?"
A good therapist should be able to pick up on these questions to help you
sort out your concerns and expectations of therapy. Then maybe more and
more of your concerns and expectations with yourself, your life, and your
relationships. They need input from you to get a sense of who you are
and where you are most troubled, but you shouldn't have to articulate all
of that - they should be helping you figure it out. And maybe you're
right, maybe the person you're seeing isn't doing this. Tell him/her you
want it to do so, and see what it says. (If it's answer is "how does this
make you feel", scream and/or bite it and leave.)
When you don't know what to say, say so. they should draw you with: do
you feel like it doesn't matter what you say because nothing's going to
change anything? or because the therapist won't really understand or
because you can't make it clear? or the words just choke you all up and
you can't get them out?
or that what you talk about in that little room doesn't mean anything
when you're home and the baby is howling and the world is chaotic?
These are all further expansions on "i don't know what to say" and all ways
you can get a toehold.
I wish you well. I can write to you more if you wish, being one of the
resident obssessives over therapeutic relationships.
renard
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~SortaAnn~
Well, for me it was meds first.
When the meds started working (after a couple of weeks), then I started
therapy.
~SortaAnn~
isolated waaaaaay up north
pk...@epix.net
SadMom,
It sounds like your therapist is just that and not affiliated with a
medical doctor. It takes time and red tape, but in the mean time if you
get in that bad of shape again go to the ER and talk to a doctor there. He
probably will not put you on meds but could hurry up an appointment for
you, Or if you have been on meds in the past they will sometimes
reperscribe the med you used to take.
When you talk to the therapist tell her/him what you have said here. How
you feel. It takes time to form a repore with a stranger that you see face
to face. Just think if you could just have theropy via IRC (haha)...You
will get there. Good luck and take care.
Penny
(who does have the tea-shirt "been there and done that".)
On 30 Apr 1998, sadmom wrote:
> (forgive if this is messy, I have my baby in my lap and am typing with one
> hand)
>
> this may be a little personal but i was wondering what went on when you were
>
> first starting therapy. i mean what did the therapist ask you, did you get
> meds right
> away, did you deal with current issues or things from childhood? how often
> were you seen?
> did your therapist ask questions or expect you to provide all the
> information somehow?
>
> i want to compare with my therapy. i don't know if i'm getting good care.
>
> (okay baby is outside with her father now)
>
> See, it will have taken one month to be seen by a doctor for meds. I want
> relief from this NOW! I still won't have that visit for another week.
> Couple
> of weeks ago I got so suicidal and it scared me and my husband that he
> called to get me seen and they said they could not see me because they
> had no available appointments. I'm doing okay now but I still have those
> thoughts a couple of times during the day.
>
> I'm talking with a therapist but I don't know what to talk about. She
> asked me "What do you want to talk about?" And I really don't know.
> I feel so stupid because I can't think straight. And I feel so guilty for
> taking her time. Guess that's normal, well, for a depressed person that is.
>
> Thank you to everyone who responded to my intro to me post. I like getting
> e-mail.
>
> sad mom
>
> humm, now why can't I log on, hey maybe if I plug in the modem,,
cyberzomby
anon-...@anon.twwells.com (sadmom) wrote:
>first starting therapy. i mean what did the therapist ask you, did you get
>meds right
>away, did you deal with current issues or things from childhood? how often
>were you seen?
>did your therapist ask questions or expect you to provide all the
>information somehow?
>i want to compare with my therapy. i don't know if i'm getting good care.
I think therapy is very different for everyone. My therapist started
off without prescribing meds at first. After a little while we
discussed the different meds option. Other than a mild tranqualizer
for anxiety I am not on any other meds (this could change though).
He asks some questions. We bounce back and forth between childhood
issues and present day issues. I am getting better at recognizing how
present day issues relate to my childhood.
>See, it will have taken one month to be seen by a doctor for meds. I want
>relief from this NOW! I still won't have that visit for another week.
>Couple
>of weeks ago I got so suicidal and it scared me and my husband that he
>called to get me seen and they said they could not see me because they
>had no available appointments. I'm doing okay now but I still have those
>thoughts a couple of times during the day.
Have you talked to your therapist about these thoughts? This can be
really really hard to do. It is taking me a long time to trust my
therapist enough to reveal what is really going on inside my head.
>I'm talking with a therapist but I don't know what to talk about. She
>asked me "What do you want to talk about?" And I really don't know.
>I feel so stupid because I can't think straight. And I feel so guilty for
>taking her time. Guess that's normal, well, for a depressed person that is.
I also feel guilty about wasting my therapists time and also about
boring him.
He does make me come with an agenda. He feels that I need to invest
the energy into our sessions -- that I need to a least come with an
area in my life I want to look at. It is very difficult -- often I
want to run out of there and hide. But I have stuck with it and my
therapist is very patient. I think its all helping (at least I feel
that way today).
Take care
Elad