Well, I *was* doing okay... (spoiler: discussing very serious shit. Don't read if you don't want to get drug into the pit with me.)
Dave
hog-tying their young son. Crap. Sounds like something my family did to me
when I was little. And what they did to me emotionally throughout my life.
Hoping that writng about it helps. How can people do stuff like this?
Seriously. When I told one of my early therapists about it all they just
said, "I want you to know, I think that is really *wierd*." I had asked
earlier about some other stuff, and whether it was normal or not, so the
wanted me to know that this was definetly not anything like normal family
behavior.
So anyway, I'm sitting here trying to process all this stuff and regain my
sense of ballance. And writing about it does seem to help. I honestly hope
I don't bring anyone else down.
I am still trying to figure out how people can do this kind of stuff. Do
*they* think it's normal? How can they? My sister still participates in
tring to keep me hog-tied emotionally, and I honestly can't understand why.
I guess she has just been in the dynamic so long that it does seem normal to
her. I wish I could call her and try to talk it out with her, but I know
how it would end up. She is really sick. And I do care about her (don't
ask me why) but I know her too well too expect anything from her other than
the same old self-serving bullshit. That's just the way she is.
Sigh
Wife is headed home with a Pizza tonight, and I can talk about it with her
if I need to. Would try to call someone, but fear what it might do to them.
And me. I'm a little better from having written this. Hope I don't start a
downward trend in anyone else's thoughts.
Gonna try to find something to get lost in for a bit. I really hope this
doesn't cause anyone else any trouble. If it does, please post and talk
about it. It seems to help.
Dave